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Ask ThatGuy Episode 2 (June 19, 2008)

[ThatGuy is reading a book and smoking a pipe, after a second he notices the camera]

ThatGuy: Oh, howdy! Didn’t hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to Ask That Guy with the Glasses.

[Piano music starts playing, title card appears]

Narrator: Who would you rather be president, the liquid terminator from T2, Gumby, or Papa Smurf?

ThatGuy: That’s a very good question. I would imagine the liquid terminator from T2. I say this because he is most likely the most intimidating of the bunch. If anyone has a problem with any of his policies, he kills them, which is all politicians wants to do anyway. I won’t vote for Papa Smurf because anyone who fathers an entire race of people is disgusting. And I won’t vote for Gumby because he’s an anti-Semite. Not too may people know that. He thought the invasion of Poland and the creation of the Third Reich was an appetizer. An appetizer of death! Yes!

Narrator: Who would win in a fight between a lion and 1,000 bees?

ThatGuy: In that kind of battle I believe everybody wins.

Narrator: I lost my remote control. Do you know where it is?

ThatGuy: Certainly. [He pulls a TV remote out] It’s right here! But it’s mine now.

Narrator: I have a problem, there's a stranger out to find me, and I'm pretty sure there's danger right behind me. What should I do?

ThatGuy: [laughs] What to do is just grab on to some technically advanced home security systems. That should keep you safe for awhile. Endearing!

Narrator: How many miles per gallon do you think Optimus Prime gets?

ThatGuy: The fact of the matter is Optimus Prime doesn’t use gasoline. He runs on the blood of non-Christians. It’s quite terrifying really. This is That Guy with the Glasses saying: There’s no such thing as a stupid question, until YOU ask it.

[ThatGuy goes back to reading books]

The End

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