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Ask ThatGuy Episode 3 (June 20, 2008)

[ThatGuy is reading a book and smoking a pipe, after a second he notices the camera]

ThatGuy: Oh, good day! Didn’t hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to Ask That Guy with the Glasses.

[Piano music starts playing, title card appears]

Narrator: If they made TV-show themed condoms, which ones would you buy?

ThatGuy: That’s a very good question. To be honest there’s such a wide variety to choose from: Alone in the Dark, Goosebumps, My Little Pony, Inspect-Her Gadget, Snoopy… AND friends, That’s My Bush, and, of course, Bananas In Pajamas. I feel raped.

Narrator: Are there any celebrities that are "dead" that you think are really alive?

ThatGuy: Yes.

Narrator: If a car is driving with the speed of light and turn on its lights what will happen?

ThatGuy: Total ejaculation. You will cream yourself. And it will go everywhere. There will be no cleaning service able to clean it up. And you would have ruined the only car in the world that goes at the speed of light. You a-hole. Yes!

Narrator: What color is Jim's red gun?

[ThatGuy thinks about it. Shakes his head. He paces back and forth. Scratches his head with his pipe. Acts as if he is adding things together in his head.]

ThatGuy: Cabbage.

Narrator: If aliens take over fish, what should I do to stay alive?

ThatGuy: Well that depends on what the aliens can actually do. If they can, say, fly or shoot laser beams out of their eyes, normal procedure is to shit your self with fear. However, if they can do minor things, like uh, speak Spanish, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Thank you for your question you most likely retarded individual. This is That Guy with the Glasses saying: There’s no such thing as a stupid question, until YOU ask it.

[ThatGuy goes back to reading books]

The End

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