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Ask ThatGuy Episode 31.2 (Feb. 8, 2009)

NOTE: This video was made before Linkara was Linkara. He refers to himself as That Guy with the Hat. For the sake of clarity he will be called Linkara in this transcript.

[Linkara is reading a book, after a second he notices the camera]

Linkara: Oh, Jolan Tru! Didn’t hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to Ask That Guy with the Hat.

[Classical music starts playing, title card appears]

Narrator: That Guy with The Glasses asks: What killed the dinosaurs?

Linkara: That’s a very good question. I killed the dinosaurs. I stole a time machine from this British guy with a long scarf. Went back in time, killed the dinosaurs, skinned them, and turned them into underpants. I’m wearing the underpants right now. Yes.

Narrator: That Guy with The Glasses also asks: How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?

Linkara: Ha, ha, ha. Sumo wrestlers, of course. [Linkara looks around nervously before putting his face right up to the camera and whispering] The answer is six. I just don’t want the Woodchucks to hear.

Narrator: That Guy with the Glasses asks this as well: If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Linkara: Yes. Because the Woodchucks hear it. The Woodchucks hear everything. [Looks nervous] I was lying before. I’m not wearing any underpants at all. Yes.

Narrator: That Guy with The Ascot also enquires: Can you tell me how to get back on to the freeway?

Linkara: Ha, ha, ha! NO!

Narrator: That Weirdo Wearing a Stolen Pair of Glasses enquiries: What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?

Linkara: I’d steal it, of course. No one should have to pay for their Klondike bars. The Klondike Corporation is trying to take our money. Because it makes no sense that a company would want to make money. So I suggest you give your money to me to fund my operation against the Klondike Corporation. Because only you can stop other people from making money. This is That Guy With The Hat saying: There’s no such thing as a stupid question, so stop making me do your work for you, That Guy with The Glasses. Or else the Woodchucks will find you. They found me and they’ll find you.

[Linkara looks scared for a moment before going back to reading his book]

The End

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