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Ask That Guy With the Glasses 34 (3/31/09)


(Ask That Guy has been replaced by the Nostalgia Critic who's checking out his book collection)

NC: Good God, how much porno does he have? (He notices the camera) Oh! Um... Hi! Um...hi.

Narrator: Would you join me in magic adventures on my pony unicorn (which can drill into the ground with its penis) to the center of the Earth?

NC: (looks bewildered)...WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?! Um... I don’t know.

Narrator: Why does hair grow on my hands?

NC: I DON'T KNOW!

Narrator: How do I know if the KGB is watching me?

NC: Are these really the kind of questions he gets? I mean why do you need to know this? If the KGB is watching you... I mean there’s something’s wrong with you! Why is the KGB watching you? I don’t know... Answer that!

Narrator: How should I go about taking over the world?

NC: Ah! Now this one I can help you out with. (pauses) I’m not telling you.

Narrator: How many dead kittens is enough?

NC: Okay, look, um... I don’t know what kind of sick, sick people watch this show, but this is seriously creeping me out. I mean why don’t you ask some real questions like how are we going to fix the economy? Is there proof that any god of any religion really exists? Those are the real questions. I mean what’s this shit about dead kittens? I mean what are ya fuckin' crazy?

(He looks around)

NC: I don’t even know how I got here. I should be reviewing The Land Before Time 24 or something. I don’t know, look, I’m sorry I couldn’t answer any questions, or maybe I did. I don’t know. Maybe you sick people think I answer the questions, I don’t know, but uh... I’m going to get the hell out of here. So um...yeah... Where's the exit? (He looks to his left and points) I’m guessing it’s this way. Um... What's he say...”There’s no such thing as a stupid question…” ...I can’t say that’s true. You've clearly proved that wrong. So, um...bye. (He leaves)

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