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(We see Chester sitting in a comfy chair in some room as the tune of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" plays.)


Chester:

(speaking calmly) Greetings, my friends, and welcome to a "Bummy Christmas Review." (Cut it "Bummy Christmas Reviews" title card, back to Chester)

And now it's time that we look at "A Charlie Brown Christmas." (Cut to title card of it, back to Chester)

Charlie Brown is a young boy with some form of leukemia.

Think about it. That's why he's bald and depressed all the time.

And he tries to discover the true meaning of Christmas.

The answer, he figures, must lie in his awkwardly animated and awkwardly voice-acted friends.

(in bad voiceover) "Linus, I want to know what the true meaning of Christmas is."

"It's Jesus."

"Okay."

And that's basically it! The rest is just filler!

Why do people like it so much? Well, they didn't know what to think of it as children and...they still don't know what to think of it now, so basically they feel if they don't like it, they don't get it, and they don't wanna look like they don't get it so they like it.

But the music's awesome and... I don't know, it's kind of hard NOT to like it. (shrugs)

You know, it's like when somebody's kids put together a little show, but there's really no plot or climax or character development, but it's like they're kids, you know, it's just... (gestures awkwardly and silently)

So, 'Charlie Brown' is a good Christmas special... (pauses) ...even if you can't explain why.

But look on the bright side! ...It could've been done by Rankin Bass.

Frosty slithers! (hides in coat)

This is Chester A. Bum saying... Don't go away, Christmas! I wanna stay in this room!

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