|
All Dogs Go to Heaven
| |
|
| |
|
Released
|
July 23rd, 2012
|
|
Running time
|
13:57
|
|
Previous review
|
|
|
Next Review
|
|
|
Link
|
|
Nostalgia Chick: Say what you want about the 80s, but you have to give it to kids' movies. They were a lot less...one note. Race parables with foxes and hounds (shows clip from The Fox and the Hound), the Russian-Jewish immigrant experience with mice (shows clip from An American Tail), a dinosaur road trip into Heaven (shows clip from The Land Before Time), Lord of the Rings ripoffs (image of The Black Cauldron poster), this...mess (image of Heavy Metal poster). If you were born between the years of 1980 and 1990, and...well after that, Don Bluth was likely an integral part of your childhood. And while there were and remain a lot of people that may attain that The Secret of NIMH is his best movie, I'm not sure I agree.
The Great Owl: Brisby? Mrs. Jonathan Brisby?
NCh (voiceover): The last time we talked about Don Bluth was three years ago when we shat all over his biggest movie success as a hollow sellout, Anastasia.
NCh: Now, this was his only profitable film from that decade, which followed a string of films which were... (images for Rock-A-Doodle, Thumbelina, A Troll in Central Park, and The Pebble and the Penguin are shown) well, let's be nice and call them weak. (footage from Anastasia is shown) The only one that made decent money was the historical fiction Disney copycat.
(A scene from All Dogs Go to Heaven plays.)
NCh (voiceover): And let me just get it out of the way that I find All Dogs Go to Heaven to be by far Bluth and Goldman's most interesting movie.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: Possibly also their best. But this film fascinates me particularly because it had a lot of moral grayness in it that you don't see in most Disney movies. At least, up until The Emperor's New Groove.
NCh (voiceover): The main character of Charlie is a sophisticated character, and this is a surprisingly sophisticated film.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: For a mainstream kid's movie.
(Footage of the film's first ten minutes plays.)
NCh (voiceover): In the first ten minutes alone, we have a prison break, gambling, smoking, lots of drinking. (A Live action video of a dog staring at a glass of O'Doul's is shown.) Which, for dogs in the real world, is just adorable, by the way. In fact, the main character gets drunk off his ass and his business partner fucking assassinates him! And all this in the first ten minutes!
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: So while it has neither the delicate sense of wonder that we saw with Secret of NIMH nor is it the whorish B-grade sellout that we saw with Anastasia, this film feels like a much more personal work to me. In fact, I think it's a very deep allegory.
(Footage from An American Tail is shown.)
NCh (voiceover): We see something similar with An American Tail, which draws a much more obvious parallel with Russian Cossacks and the programs to cats and mice. It kind of loses me on the tragic of the Russian-Jewish immigrant and evil cat allegory with the big, silly rat thing (the Giant Mouse of Minsk) at the end and the fact that the mice ostensibly... win?
(Warren T. Rat and his cronies are chased by the Giant Mouse of Minsk. An arrow points out the fact that it's even labeled.)
NCh: Unlike All Dogs Go to Heaven, which has a deep multi-layered spiritual allegory. One that details to us the fall of man and takes us on a journey. How he is cast out of paradise and into the wilderness. And his redemption, which comes only through the greatest of sacrifice. And it does so with singing dogs...that gamble. Allow me to explain.
NCh (voiceover): The plot is this: It takes place in New Orleans, where it is always Mardi Gras, where Charlie B. Barkin escapes from prison to the casino he co-owns with his partner Carface -- so named because he's in a car...and he has a face. Carface, not wanting the liability of the escaped convict Charlie, gets him drunk and kills him. And Charlie dies, learning that all dogs get a "get-out-of-jail-free" card just by virtue of being a dog.
Annabelle: All dogs go to Heaven because, unlike people, dogs are naturally good and loyal and kind.
NCh (voiceover): Unimpressed with Heaven and wanting revenge against Carface, Charlie rejects eternity in paradise and winds back his life watch. Wondering how Carface's business got so profitable without Charlie, he finds out that Carface has procured a young Snow White-looking orphan (Anne-Marie) who can talk to animals.
Charlie: Where are your parents?
Anne-Marie: I'm an orphan.
NCh (voiceover): And he uses her to find out which rat is likely to win races. And she, of course, desperately wants to be adopted.
Charlie: If you're serious about this mommy and daddy business, you're going to need dough of your own.
NCh (voiceover, mimicking Charlie): You need some capital if you wanna catch someone's eye. You know, get a dowry.
NCh (voiceover): Despite promising Anne-Marie find adoptive parents, Charlie uses her in pretty much the same way Carface does to win bets and races so they can... play in a big Uncle Scrooge money pit.
(Charlie, Itchy, and Anne-Marie, disguised as a tall person, walk up to the bookie to place a bet.)
Anne-Marie: I wanna make a bet, please.
(The bookie looks awestruck as the three try to keep themselves from being exposed.)
NCh (voiceover): Uhh...yeah, this looks legit. As the film goes on, Charlie becomes more attached to Anne-Marie, who grows more impatient with his failure to get her adopted.
Anne-Marie: This is the most beautiful house I've ever seen.
Kate: Thank you, Anne-Marie.
NCh (voiceover, mimicking Kate): Well, it's a good thing we have all this money, which we have, because we never had a kid.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: But what's really at stake in the narrative of this film...but Charlie's immortal soul? (nods) That's right. And that is honestly what kind of fascinates me about this film. Particularly, a scene that happens towards the middle...
(We are shown that Charlie is having a nightmare in which he is thrown deep into the bowels of Hell itself.)
NCh (voiceover): ...where Charlie dreams about his eternal punishment for rejecting Heaven. And it's not just like insinuative Hell, it's like...Hell. And it keeps going...and going.
(Charlie lands on a freakish skeletal boat on a river of lava. The dragon-like skeleton piloting the boat frightens him.)
NCh (voiceover): Oh...oh, yeah.
(The boat drifts across the waves of lava, and from the depths of the fiery pits rises a Hellhound, who creates imp-like creatures that terrorize Charlie.)
NCh: (gives thumbs up) Yeah, the kids love it.
NCh (voiceover): And Charlie is no misunderstood, peachy keen, gruff hero-with-a-heart-of-gold-like beast. Early on, the film establishes that Charlie is not the most considerate or the easiest to work with.
Charlie: You've put on a little weight. I told you to stay off those sweets.
NCh (voiceover): Even his sidekick, Itchy, is kind of a douche.
Itchy: Maybe horses is too stupid to talk.
(Stella, a female racing horse, overhears Itchy. She whinnies angrily as she knocks Itchy to the ground.)
NCh (voiceover): So the film doesn't softball characters with bad morals. They're genuine dynamic characters with actual character arts, not to mention Bluth stapled Dom DeLuise's best performance in any of Bluth's movies.
Itchy: And she wants we should feed the poor. And the whole while, I'm thinking this is stupid! She's gonna get us killed! But I stayed, because...I'm your friend.
NCh: Of course, the film isn't without its...flaws. The...songs leave something to be desired.
Dogs: ♪ You can't keep a good dog down. Wow-wow-wow-wow. ♪
Charlie: ♪ I've seen pain and hurt. ♪
Itchy: That's right.
Charlie: ♪ I've eaten dirt. ♪
NCh (voiceover): Yeah. And at some point, somebody said, "You know what? Burt Reynolds needs to star in an animated musical where he sings lots. He's so good at singing."
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: Why did that keep happening, 80s?
(A scene from the musical comedy The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is shown, then the scene cuts to "Soon You'll Come Home".)
NCh (voiceover): ♪ ...And you'll let me drive your car... ♪
NCh: Also, we know it's not an 80s kids' movie without a bit of...well, this.
Itchy: Even a bit of Siam.
(The word "WHY" appears onscreen.)
NCh: Speaking of which, I guess we'd better talk about that alligator.
Gator King: ♪ Let's make music together. Let's make sweet harmony. ♪
NCh (voiceover): So this happens in the second half of the movie, right after Carface's second murder attempt. They fall through this floor, and...boom...this.
(A bunch of rats and mice dressed like native tribesmen are carrying Charlie and Anne-Marie in cages.)
Charlie: What did they say? Tell them to give me back my watch!
Anne-Marie: I can't, Charlie. They talk funny.
NCh: Oh.
(A giant alligator with a bone ornament through his nostrils come toward Charlie's cage.)
NCh (voiceover): Then, all of a sudden, there's this giant fucking alligator, and he's like, "Oh, I'm gonna eat the shit outta you!" And what saves Charlie but Burt Reynolds' gorgeous, peerless singing voice?
(As the alligator king starts to close his jaws, Charlie lets out a howl.)
NCh (voiceover): And then all of a sudden, this is going on, and all of that clam and diving and synchronized swimming, and it -- and it's the most bizarre.
Gator King: ♪ We are birds of a feather, looking for the right key. Oh, let’s make music together, baby. ♪
(The following text appears on screen: "A Big Lipped Alligator Moment: comes right out of nowhere, has little/no bearing plot, is totally dissonant from the rest of the film, after it is over, no one ever speaks of it again".)
NCh: Like it's not even a little bit set up. Like at no point in the film does anyone go, "Beware the monster what lives beneath the streets of New Orleans and has fantastic musical numbers, by the way." (vo) Nope, he just shows up. And after the scene ends, he is gone, never to be mentioned by any of the characters. The only narrative purpose this scene serves is to get Anne-Marie sick, so she can be even more sad and helpless.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: Now, there have been those who have pointed out that the original Big Lipped Alligator Moment was not actually a Big Lipped Alligator Moment, because the big lipped alligator does come back at the end.
(We cut to the Gator King ramming against Carface's ship, and then he is seen chasing after Carface himself.)
NCh (voiceover): Which is to sink the boat the the third act takes place on. And after that, he chases away Carface and presumably eats him and then we never see him again.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: But the point still stands that the scene comes right out of nowhere, is completely at odds with the tone of the rest of the movie, and after it happens, nobody ever mentions the big monarch of man crush on Burt Reynolds ever again.
Charlie: ♪ Let's make music together... ♪
NCh: But now that we've discussed all the dogs, let us now discuss...the Heaven. All of Don Bluth's films in the 80s had a...light-spirited ritual element to them.
(Several scenes from Don Bluth movies are shown.)
NCh (voiceover): In fact, The Land Before Time was apparently supposed to end with the Great Valley being an allegory for Heaven, and the dinosaurs literally dying. From the guiding mom spirit in Land Before Time to the magic defying of all the science from The Secret of NIMH...
Annabelle: Oh, no, no, no. We know everything.
NCh (voiceover): Except for the plot of this movie. God, I'm obtuse. Or, well, maybe she actually does know what's going on. No, I think she does. I don't buy these line readings, lady.
Annabelle: What's that you have behind your back?
NCh (voiceover): Yeah, she's trolling him. So check that Heaven out. It really is the Heaven a kid might imagine. It's also a denomination free Heaven. There's no God, no Jesus, no Muhammad, no Rama, no flying spaghetti monster. Just this bitch. (An image of a real whippet is shown.) Oh, I mean bitch in that, you know, she's a dog.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: While this Heaven is kind of distinct in its way, I've never seen a clock-filled Heaven before. It could really be anyone's Heaven. And while, of course, there are those out there that love to wave a flag of "stop analyzing kids movies 'cuz kids are stupid, and so are their movies, apparently"... I maintain that this movie is still a little bit more sophisticated than that. Now, there are those who say that the end is a little bit of a cop out.
NCh (voiceover): Charlie does die saving Anne-Marie, and he does go to Hell. Now, for some reason, Hell was nice enough to let Charlie come back for a minute and say his goodbye to Anne-Marie...like, maybe he, I don't know, did some jury duty or had done some janitor detail or something. Man, that sure was nice of Hell, though. But then Heaven just shows up and zaps that demon. Not even a battle, just..."The power of Christ zaps you, doggie dragon!"
Charlie: You said I...
Annabelle (voice): Charlie, you gave your life for her.
NCh: And that ends Charlie's story of redemption. But I think there's more to it than that.
Annabelle: ♪ Welcome to doing whatever you wish. ♪
Charlie: You got the wrong guy...
Annabelle: ♪ Laughing and singing all day. ♪
NCh (voiceover): ...Sings the whippet angel. "And that is lame," says Charlie.
NCh: The word "surprise" comes up several times throughout the film.
NCh (voiceover): First as a euphemism for murder...
Carface: A big...surprise.
NCh (voiceover): And then again as a euphemism for sin.
Charlie: ♪ Let me be surprised. ♪
NCh (voiceover): As indicated in the song "Let Me Be Surprised", Charlie seems to find the prospect of eternal happiness quite boring.
NCh: But is he wrong? This is a criticism I've seen leveled at both Christianity and Buddhism. That it seeks to cut us off from the so-called "bad" emotions that make us human. (beat) Or, in this case, canine.
NCh (voiceover): Are the dogs in this movie even meant to be analogues for humans? Well, clearly, on some film making level, they are. They're anthropomorphized animals, but more significant that they, like Adam and Eve in the Garden, are born without Original Sin.
NCh: They just go to Heaven because they are dogs.
NCh (voiceover): So, where's the apple?
(As Charlie sings, an arrow appears, pointing to the watch he's holding in his paw.)
NCh: Well, what does the apple represent but knowledge, or in this case, free will?
NCh (voiceover): Charlie leaves Heaven, which apparently takes away his "Get Out of Jail Free" card. He is literally fallen.
NCh: And this is Original Sin. Charlie chooses the path of free will, all the while with the sexy pink doggy screaming at him...
Annabelle (voice): You can never come back...
NCh: He only earns his way back into Heaven by sacrificing himself to save the life of another (Anne-Marie). He is the spiritual story of Man through all stages: Genesis through the New Testament.
(Biblical art is shown.)
NCh (voiceover): Fallen, Mortal, and Risen. The Original Man, the Fallen Man, the Son of Man who sacrifices himself to save the innocent. At the very least, Charlie earns redemption only by giving himself over to more Christ-like qualities. And, like Christ, he must journey into Hell before his final ascension. I assume he was there for three days.
NCh: And I don't think the film is proselytizing, per se.
Anne-Marie: (upset) All you do is gamble! And it isn't right!
NCh (voiceover): Okay, maybe it proselytizes a little. It tells a very Christian version of the Fall of Man, but there is something we seculars can take from it as well.
NCh: What meaning has anything if you were simply entitled to it by virtually being born into it? (shrugs) None. Things have their greatest meaning when we feel that they have been earned. (vo) Charlie's journey is spiritual, yes, but not necessarily religious.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: A spiritual journey and a personal one.
(The part of Heaven with multiple clocks is shown.)
NCh (voiceover): As shown by our Hollywood non-denominational clock Heaven. Will Carface, also a sinner, make the same decisions as Charlie? Probably not, though Charlie seems to think that he will.
(Annabelle is shown chasing Carface as the end credits start rolling. Charlie pokes his head above the clouds.)
Charlie: He'll be back.
NCh (voiceover): You see, even Carface has the potential to redeem himself from his fallen state.
(Suddenly, Carface appears in Heaven. He tears off his wings and robe and tosses his halo aside.)
Carface: AAAARGH!!! I'LL GET THAT GATOR!!!
NCh (voiceover): Oh. Somebody finally acknowledged that alligator. Adam and Eve could not sin until they ate the Fruit of Knowledge and became aware that they were naked.
NCh: Likewise, dogs could not sin, even a dog as objectively terrible as Charlie. (vo) Until he gave himself free will.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: In a way, this film validates the perceived flaws to Christian Doctrine by showing the importance of free will to spirituality. Charlie does not appreciate the idea of Paradise until he feels that he earns it. (vo) Until he chose free will over the boring wonderfulness of Paradise.
(cut back to Nostalgia Chick)
NCh: But most of all, it shows us that no man or dog is beyond spiritual redemption. (beat) Nah, I'm just fucking with you.
(Just then, the graphic card with the words "Big-Lipped Alligator Moment" pops up. A small chorus sings a note and holds it.)
Weird Voice: A-BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!
(the credits roll)
| Nostalgia Chick Transcripts | |
|---|---|
| 2008: | Pocahontas · Teen Witch · Anastasia · She-Ra: Princess of Power · Hocus Pocus (NCh) · Top 11 Nostalgic Villainesses · Spice World · Top 10 Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs |
| 2009: | Labyrinth · Thanks for the Feedback: Date with Doug · Thumbelina · Babysitters Club · Spooning with Spoony · Top 11 Embarrassing Nostalgic Dance Crazes · Xanadu · Transformers (NCh) · Armageddon · Bratz · Mulan (NCh) · The Last Unicorn · Earth Girls Are Easy · Disney Princess · Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas (NCh) |
| 2010: | Dragonheart · The Smurfette Principle · Titanic · My Little Pony · Nella’s (mostly) Unabridged My Little Pony Epic · Showgirls · Blonde Girls Then and Now · An Enchanted Cinder(n)ella Ever After · Grease · Linking Up with Linkara · Lindsay Talks Dune · Thanks for the Feedback: My BFF Nella · Hercules (NCh) · Playing God · Man in the Iron Mask · Dreamworks vs. Disney: Rise of the Eyebrow · Dreamworks vs. Disney: Dualing |
| 2011: | Thanks for the Feedback: We, Fit · The Fifth Element (NCh) · Kirk vs. Picard · X-Men: The Animated Series (NCh) · Top Ten Evil Nostalgic Characters · Disaster Movies of Roland Emmerich · The Craft · Tron (NCh) · Newsies (NCh) · Les Misérables: The Musical · Jem and the Holograms (NCh) · The Little Mermaid (NCh) · Grease 2 · TLC and the '90s · Top Ten Songs About Sex (from Musicals) · She’s All That · Chick Flicks! Sleepless in Seattle vs. When Harry Met Sally · You've Got Mail · City of Angels · Kate and Leopold · Cruel Intentions · The Lion King (in 3D!) · The Worst Witch · Crossroads · Top Ten Disney Deaths · A Very N'Sync Christmas · The Christmas Shoes · Daria · Top Ten Worst Disney Sequels |
| 2012: | Top Five LEAST Awful Disney Sequels · What Women Want · Top Ten Hottest Animated Guys · Song of the South · The Adventures of Milo and Otis · The Lorax (NCh) · Sister Act · Baby Whatever - Nostalgic Baby Dolls · Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies (of Shame) · Chipmunk Adventure · Freddy Got Fingered · Men in Black · Wild Wild West · Will Smith Was a Rapper, Once... · The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air · Top Boy Bands from the 90's · Lindsay’s Top Eleven Favorite Movies of All Time! (this week) · All Dogs Go to Heaven · Ender’s Game · Supergirl · Cool Runnings (NCh) · The Worst (and Least Awful) Female Superhero Movies · Charlie’s Angels · Cutthroat Island · Top Ten Viral Videos from the Ancient Internet (before YouTube) · Reality Bites · Matilda · Sleepy Hollow · Not Another Breaking Dawn Review |
| 2013: | The Fellowship of the Ring · The Two Towers · The Return of the King · Return to Me · Lindsay’s Top Ten Favorite Movies of 2012 · Disney Needs More Gay · The Host (2013) · Top Ten Music Videos of the 90′s · The Addams Family · The Mortal Instruments and Young Adult Adaptations · Addams Family Values |
| 2014: | Top Ten Somewhat Arbitrarily Ranked Worst Movies of 2013 · Top Ten(ish) Favorite Movies of 2013 · Dante's Peak vs. Volcano · Nostalgic Foods of Yore feat. Mara Wilson · Divergent and the Young Adult Movies of 2013 · The Day After Tomorrow · Independence Day vs. War of the Worlds Part 1 · Independence Day vs. War of the Worlds Part 2 · True Lies |
| Shorts! | The Goddess of Spring · Betty Boop in Minnie the Moocher · Der Fuehrer’s Face · Red Hot Riding Hood · Coal Black and De Sebben Dwarfs |
| Loose Canon | Starscream · Hades, Lord of the Underworld · The Wicked Witch of the West · Captain America (Loose Canon) · Mad Max · Death · King Kong · Nightcrawler · The Jedi · The Jacks of King Kong · Oscar Bait: A History · Phantom of the Opera: Part 1 - Before Broadway · Phantom of the Opera: Part 2 - After Lord Andy · Queen Elizabeth I · Superhero vs. Superhero: A History · Aphrodite · X-Men Dying (And Un-Dying) · Marilyn Monroe · 9/11 · Mystique · Hillary Clinton · Jack the Ripper · Santa Claus |
| Lindsay Ellis | Joel Schumacher's Phantom of the Opera · Hercules, Disney's Beautiful Hot Mess · How Three-Act Screenplays Work (and why it matters) · Designing the Other: Aliens on Film · RENT - Look Pretty and Do As Little as Possible · Planting and Payoff - Featuring Mad Max: Fury Road · Are Disney Villains Going Extinct? · Is Beauty and the Beast About Stockholm Syndrome? · Mel Brooks and The Producers' Use of Satire · Why Pocahontas was a Mistake · The Complex Feels of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 · Disney's Revisionist History · The Case for Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame · POTC: Dead Genres Tell No Tales · Stranger Things, IT and the Upside Down of Nostalgia · Dear Stephenie Meyer · Bright: The Apotheosis of Lazy Worldbuilding · My Monster Boyfriend · The Hobbit: An Unexpected Autopsy (1/2) · The Hobbit: Battle of Five Studios (2/2) · The Hobbit: The Desolation of Warners (3/2) · The Ideology of the First Order · That Time Disney Remade Beauty and the Beast · The Death of the Hollywood Movie Musical · YouTube: Manufacturing Authenticity for Fun & Profit! · Product Placement & Fair Use · Death of The Author · Independence Day vs. War of the Worlds · How Aladdin Changed Animation (by Screwing Over Robin Williams) · We Need to Talk About Game of Thrones I Guess · The Last of the Game of Thrones Hot Takes · Woke Disney · How to Get a Book Deal Ten Years or Less · The Most Whitewashed Character Ever · Why is Cats? · Protest Music of the Bush Era · Is Titanic Good, Actually? · Death of the Author 2: Rowling Boogaloo · Into The Omegaverse: How a Fanfic Trope Landed in Federal Court · Addison Cain's lawyer e-mailed me, and it only got worse from there · Why Borat Works Better in 2020 · Tracing the Roots of Pop Culture Transphobia · Mask Off · Reevaluating The Little Mermaid before Disney horks up another live action remake · 9 things I wish I knew before publishing my first novel · Narcissism in the MCU · Love Never Dies: A Magnificent Musical Trashfire Sequel to Phantom of the Opera |
| The Whole Plate | Transformers and Film Studies · Auteur Theory vs. Michael Bay · Why is it So Hard to Remember What Happens in Transformers? · Genre · The Lady Robot Problem: Feminist Theory Part 1 · The Male Gaze vs. The Men: Feminist Theory Part 2 · Framing Megan Fox: Feminist Theory Part 3 · Queering Michael Bay · Marxism! |