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Archie Giant Series Magazine 452
Original Air Date
December 10, 2012
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[We open to Harvey Finevoice singing Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon” at one of his singing gigs (really a convention), the crowd loves it. We then cut to Harvey entering his hotel room.]

Harvey Finevoice: [To a woman in the hallway] I love you too, babe. Call ya.

[He then shuts the door. Now alone, we see he’s depressed since he last saw Linkara. He sits down on a chair, sighs, and rubs his temple, when we hear a familiar voice.]

Nostalgia Critic: [He fades in like a ghost and speaks like a ghost.] Harvey Finevoice! Harvey Finevoice! Harvey Finevoice! I am the ghost of- [Harvey gets up and puts him in a head lock. NC speaks in a normal voice] Ah!

Harvey: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT!

NC: Fucking A, man, I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past!

Harvey: That’s bull hockey, the kid met the Ghost of Christmas Past once! It was some chick that was glowing white!

NC: [Groans] There’s more than one of us, you moron! It’s not like fucking Santa Claus! There’s not, like, one person that can go around and see every jerk for being a jerk in one night!

[Harvey groans than lets him go. He turns to face him and recognizes the Critic.]

Harvey: Wait a second, I know who you are, you’re the Nostalgia Critic. I heard you merged with a giant plot hole in space and turned into a muppet.

NC: Yeah, the muppet thing comes and goes.

Harvey: Shouldn’t you be busy, like, controlling the universe or something?

NC: Well, I still “do” that, but it doesn’t pay the bills, now does it? I took the Ghost of Christmas Past thing so I can make a living.

Harvey: Look, I appreciate the effort, but I got a million problems right now and Christmas ain’t one of them. So, Skedaddle! [Points to the door]

NC: Well, while the Ghost of Christmas Past is the official “title,” we deal with a wide range of people who need a good kick in the ass and you’re name came up, Mr. Finevoice.

Harvey: Thanks, but I don’t think you can help me. [Turns to leave]

NC: You’re worried about Linkara, aren’t you?

Harvey: [Turns to him, angry] What do you know about the kid?!

NC: Well, I know he’s a high pitched, nasally comic book nerd who always likes to sends his robotic duplicate when we really need him.

Harvey: Story of my life.

NC: But, that’s half the point, you have to start trusting him again.

Harvey: “Trusting him again?” Yeah, that’s actually pretty easy, I don’t trust myself around him anymore, frankly.

NC: How’d you even meet him?

Harvey: Well, that starts a few years back…

[We then cut to white and then to Linkara. He’s in front of a green screen made to look like his bedroom from his parents house, where he used to review before he moved (The 1st time). It’s sometime during his few years. Part of the room is in the dark, so you only see half of Linkara.]

Linkara: [In a quieter, almost hushed voice] Hello and welcome to Atop The 4th Wall, where bad comics burn. Archie has going on for- [He starts to seem frustrated and starts talking normally] Ok, I can’t keep doing this. Look, I…I don’t even know if anyone can like this show if you can’t hear me. So, from now on, I’m going to start speaking up. [Looks at the dark part of his room] And you know, you can’t see half of my face right now. [He claps his hands and the other half of the room lights up.] Hmm, there see? Now you can see me, the futon, and my glorious wall behind me in crystal clarity! I hope I never have to leave this wall. Imagine me doing this show without it! [Laughs] So, anyway, Archie.

  • The background, like when the show started, looks a bid fuzzy and only Linkara looks HD.




Linkara: I don’t know, there’s something about this comic that feel disconnected from Christmas.

[He throws the comic on the futon and gets up. We then cut to a cemetery as we hear the Nostalgia Critic and Harvey talking. We see past Harvey by the edge of the cemetery.]

NC [v/o]: So yeah, where the hell were you during all of that?

Harvey [v/o]: I was doing what I had been doing for half a year by that point: looking at a cemetery and not going in closer to see my son.

NC [v/o]: Oh. [Realizes] Ohhhhh!

Harvey [v/o]: Yeah.

NC [v/o]: How old was he?

Harvey [v/o]: It doesn’t really matter. It’s always too young. My wife left me after he died and frankly, I don’t blame her. [Past Harvey starts to leave the cemetery, depressed.] Our son was gone and I was a wreck. I hadn’t done a concert in months and I had barely spoken too her in all that time.

[We then cut to past Harvey walking on the side of the road as past Linkara (really a body double since we don’t see his face) jogs towards his general direction. Harvey falls to someone’s front yard. Linkara stops jogging and goes to help him.]

Harvey [v/o]: The kid found me lying on the sidewalk when he was filming himself getting pumped up for his Amazons Attack review and got me some help. Talked to a head shrinker, stopped drinking, went back on the lounge circuit; the kid saved me, really. I made sure to always to have Charlie’s back.

NC [v/o]: “Charlie?”

Harvey [v/o]: My- [Corrects himself] Linkara.

NC [v/o]: Harvey, where do you think you are right now?

Harvey [v/o]: I’m talking to the fashion challenged critic, who stopped getting dressed half way into it!

NC [v/o]: No, that’s not it at all! But, I do think my time is over now. Good luck, Harvey.

Harvey [v/o]: Wait, what? Wha-what are you-

[The scene the fades to white and then to the end credits. Afterward, we cut back to Linkara’s bedroom as he pops up on the side of the screen.]

Linkara: Oh, and tell me what you guys think about the themes song and the title card. I don’t know If I want to keep those or not.

[He then exits the frame, which then cuts to black.]



To Be Continued…