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Ask That Guy With the Glasses

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Ask That Guy With the Glasses

Askthatguy

Created by
Produced by
Starring
Produced
69
Running Time
Five to Eight Minutes
Website


"Oh. 'Greetings,' didn't hear you come in..." -- AskThatGuy

The segment involves Walker, wearing a blue robe, red ascot and carrying a pipe and book, answering questions from his fans. He starts out each segment by saying "Hello, didn't hear you come in" or a variation thereof, followed by "Greetings and welcome to Ask ThatGuyWithTheGlasses". The narrator reads each question and Walker responds with typically unhelpful and spiteful answers, often revealing disturbing facts about his life and bizarre tendencies. He ends each episode with "there's no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it". Chester A. Bum, one of Walker's other characters, appeared in episodes 5 and 6. AskThatGuy (along with Chester) finally made a long-awaited appearance on a Nostalgia Critic episode where the film Mortal Kombat: Annihilation was reviewed.

On October 9th, That Guy had a change of pace, when instead he asked the viewers to answer his questions. Viewers submitted videos of them answering That Guy's five question. The video was finally released on January 4th, after much anticipation from his fans.

As part of the Donation Drive on February 12th, A new Ask ThatGuy was revealed. By February 15th, it was put onto the main site for all to enjoy.

On July 15th, 2010, AskThatGuy changed his location to a bar-like setting.

April Fool's Day 2009

On April Fool's Day 2009, The Nostalgia Critic switched places with Askthatguy and answered questions that were normally asked of him (becoming incredibly disturbed in the process). Chester reviewed "The Never Ending Story" and Askthatguy himself reviewed "Monsters vs Aliens" while attempting to imitate the Bum. Of course, that didn't go well.

Episodes

2008

Episode Number Greeting Date Released Questions
1 "Hello" June 13, 2008 I have been trying to start a garden for the past three years, so I can eat more vegetables and green foods... but there's a huge frickin' Fraggle colony underneath my house. Do you have any ideas how to stop the Fraggles from stealing my radishes?
I have a brother who wears glasses, how do I stop myself from confusing him with you?
Who would win in a fight, Ash from Pokémon or Ash from Evil Dead?
Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?
If you could make your own full-length film with a budget of a Hollywood blockbuster and all the resources needed to film it, what would it be about?
1.5 "Hi there" June 15, 2008 You used to have a YouTube channel with your '5 Second Movies' and 'The Nostalgia Critics', but recently they were taken down. Why?
2 "Howdy" June 19, 2008 Who would you rather be president, the liquid terminator from T2, Gumby, or Papa Smurf?
Who would win in a fight between a lion and 1,000 bees?
I lost my remote control. Do you know where it is?
I have a problem, there's a stranger out to find me, and I'm pretty sure there's danger right behind me. What should I do?
How many miles per gallon do you think Optimus Prime gets?
3 "Good Day" June 20, 2008 If they made TV-show themed condoms, which ones would you buy?
Are there any celebrities that are "dead" that you think are really alive?
If a car is driving with the speed of light and turn on its lights what will happen?
What color is Jim's red gun?
If aliens take over fish, what should I do to stay alive?
4 "Bonjour" June 22, 2008

There's seagulls at the top of my school and they are beginning to become quite a disturbance because they attack people. What can I do to make them disappear?

Are pigeons emo or goth?

What is the best method of defending yourself against a horde of evil squirrels using an onion, a stapler and the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe?

Where IS the beef?

Once I was playing Super Mario 64, and in Super Mario 64, you have to jump in a painting to start the level, and so I did... My little brother saw it and he asked me how that was possible, and I told him it's possible because it's a video game... He went crazy and now he is scared of paintings. What should I do?

If you found yourself trapped in an underground Egyptian chamber, how would you escape if you only had a revolver and pen to help you? I forgot to mention that the chamber is filled with transvestite scorpions and radioactive monkeys.

Where is the any-key?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

My uncle died last week and he is still in his room. He is starting to stink up the place and I don't want to touch him, what should I do?

Last week I forgot to lock the door to my room when I was preparing myself to jerk off. All of a sudden in the middle of my pleasure, my brother busted and caught me in the act. I'm worried he'll tell my mom or dad about it and I'll get "the talk." Any advice on how to prevent my brother from telling my parents?

5 "Shalom" June 27, 2008

If Carmen is a slutty whore and Meg is a nerd and a porn star, why isn't John getting any?
What is "Snakes on a Plane" about?
How much do you think it would cost me to bribe a teacher to give me an 'A' instead a 'C'?
I'm always living in fear of those "screamers" that are on the internet. How do I avoid them?

[When ThatGuy suffers a heart attack, The Bum takes over answering questions.]

Who would win in a fight: Sub-zero from , or Gandhi? Also, would the outcome change if say, Gandhi was on fire?
I'm French and I want to know why you, Americans, are so bad in geography?
Deal or no Deal?
My little brother is afraid of two things: Clowns and Big Bird from Sesame Street. How do I fix these two fears?
How come the Flintstones celebrate Christmas if they lived before Christ?

4.3 "Hola" June 28, 2008 I have trouble sleeping. What do you recommend I do to get a good night's sleep?
In your opinion, what would be the plot of a movie with absolutely no clichés?
I have a big problem. My cat ruins all the furniture around my house. How can I make the bastard pay?
I was wondering if you ever considered being "That guy with the contact lenses" or "That guy with the Laser corrective surgery."
I'm in high school and I have no luck with women. How can I find the perfect girl with some tact and professionalism?
4.6 "Guten Tag" July 2, 2008 Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Can a vampire getAIDS?
Would you like to wear my glasses?
Why do noses run and feet smell?
Bob Barker keeps sneaking on to my farm to spay, neuter, and rape my livestock. How do I stop him?
6 "Hola" July 9, 2008 So... What was the after-life like? And how did you come back?
Where is your traditional 'Ask That Guy with the Glasses' pipe?
A one-armed man is holding onto a cliff while his ass is itching. What should he do?
Did you recently get a haircut?
As you read this I am being gradually lowered into a vat of boiling acid. How do you recommned I escape, using as many flashy special effects as possible?
What would happen to a guy if he got bitten by a vampire, a werewolf and a zombie all at the same time?
There's a suicidal one-eyed green monkey sitting on my table and smashing newborn squirrels with a kitchen hammer. Therefore I believe the question is pretty obvious: Do you like cabbage soup?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
How dead is the Dead Sea?
Are you okay?
What do people in China call their good plates?
7 "Konnichiwa!" July 11, 2008 My boyfriend and I watch your hilarious questions and rants all the time. He always insists on watching you. Is my boyfriend secretly fantasizing about you?
In 'Ask That Guy with the Glasses, Episode 4,' you told me to sacrifice my little brother to the gods. Would that be okay with my parents. Wouldn't they ground me, or should I sacrifice them as well?
My girlfriend is smart, beautiful, and totally in love with me. The only problem is that she really enjoys the taste of human blood. Should I be at all concered about this?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
I have a problem. I live in Iceland and global warming is causing my igloo to melt. What can I do?
8 "Namose" July 16, 2008 Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? I am not a vegetarian but my mom is, and she's terribly confused about this issue. She's also terribly stupid. So, can I eat my mom?
What is in that book that you're always reading?
I currently live on a warm, sunny, Mediterranean island. Next year I would have to leave my country in order to join a university in the UK. How can I cope with adjusting to their cold climate?
If "Where's Waldo" and "Carmen Sandiego" had a kid, how hard will it be to find him?
What is the meaning of life?
9 "Sieg Heil" July 18, 2008 Why is it called "The War of 1812" when the fighting technically started in 1811?
MY PISS IS BLOOD RED! IS THAT BAD?
If you don't answer my question, does it mean I didn't ask a stupid question? Does that make me smarter than you?
I am quite fond of two women at the moment. I believe I am caught in the casual friend zone with one, and the other, with whom I am closer to, may or may not be attached. My question to you is, which one should I focus my energies on? Or should I forget it and kill myself? Or should I continue to masturbate to their yearbook photos, and cry for hours afterwords? Or all three?
What are today's lottery numbers going to be?
10 "Dai ho!" July 23, 2008 Why go to the top of a tall building only to put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
If a fly didn't have wings, would it be called a walk?
Why do Americans hate the letter u? Think of colour, armour and the like; you guys seem to have thrown it away.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
In one of your episodes, you said that you couldn't read, yet you're clearly seen reading a dictionary word for word just a few moments later. How do you explain this?
11 "Geiá sou" July 26, 2008 What is the difference between Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Haley Joel Osment?
What on earth was man trying to do when he discovered that cows made milk?
If you mixed Coca-Cola with pepsi, what will happen?
A telemarketer keeps calling my house at 6:30 in the morning and will not stop. What should I do?
I found out that my friends intentionally did not invite me to a party. What do I do?
In the last episode you said that you read hydroglyphics. Did you mean hieroglyphics?
12 "Nahnamas Balam" July 30, 2008 Why does Daddy hit Mommy?
Can you tell me why Paris Hilton still exists?
I was bit by a spider. Am I going to die, or will I become a superhero, run around in tights, save the world while fending off my normal everyday problems?
How come there are no genetically altered giraffes that can shoot lasers out of their eyes while back flipping on a trampoline and ejaculating grenades?
In the last episodes, you said that New Amsterdam had been around for thousands of years. But it clearly has not. Are you lying?
13 "Wahn Wahn Mon!" August 1, 2008 What are the ingredients of Mountain Dew?
What was your reaction to the infamous "2 Girls, 1 Cup" video?
Were you the inspiration for the smash Nickelodeon series "Doug"?
If you rape a prostitute, is it rape or just theft?
In the last episode, you mentioned the ruler of Hell as Lucifire. Did you mean Lucifer?
14 "Salwaysay" August 6, 2008 Whatever happened to the Taco Bell Chihuahua? Did Ted Turner rape him?
Can you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Is Hillary Swank really a man in disguise?
If the person who controls time is "Father Time" and the person who controls nature is "Mother Earth", then what does that make "Aunt Jemima" and "Uncle Ben"?
In the last episode, you said everybody lived "happily never after." Did you mean "happily ever after?"
15 "nuqneH" August 9, 2008 Once I saw a blind woman at the subway wearing a watch. How come she's wearing a watch if she can't see?
Is it actually possible to sweat Gatorade?
Are you gay?
What is the most effective way to kill a Furby?
I think I do not exist and I think I came from my imagination. What should I do?
16 "Salaam" August 14, 2008 Why is it that after multiple loads of laundry, you realize your missing some socks, and are unable to find them anywhere in the house? What happens to them?
We all know how really bad records make really good Frisbees, but would a circular saw do the same job?
Why do they call it a drive through if you have to stop?
You never seem to hear your viewers come in. Have you seen a doctor lately? Perhaps you are in need of a hearing aid.
A Trekkie dressed as a Klingon and a Star Wars fan dressed as a Stormtrooper meet by chance in an alley. Naturally, a duel to the death is the only possible result. Who wins?
17 *Salutes in sign language.* August 15, 2008 Recently I've been listening to the song "End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" by R.E.M and for some reason the song seems to describe our current reality. Do you think REM was right, and that it's truly the end of the world?
How can I spot a rick roll?
What time does the 7:00 movie start at the movie theater?
I am going to die in 24 hours. I need to know what I am going to do before I die. Should I go off killing people I always hated or should I do some other random activity?
How come when guys brag about how big their penis is, it's no big deal, but when I tell people that my vagina is a foot long they all laugh at me? Don't guys like that?
18 "Dinh Cho" August 20, 2008 How many languages do you speak?
I have started to drink alcohol to drown my problems, but those bastards have now learned how to swim. What should I do?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
For the past 6 hours, I have been falling down an escalator that is going up. What do I do?
19 *Clicking language* August 22, 2008 If I'm a scaly man-fish who drinks baileys from a shoe and has a mangina, am I still loveable?
I love the feeling of ripping flesh, which is why I'm addicted to sticking pins and needles through my skin, it soothes me. I don't want my body to be scarred to shreds, so how do I stop?
What is always drowning and always thirsty?
I show your videos to my girlfriend and I think she just fell in love with you. How can I erase you from her memory?
If Wile E. Coyote has enough money to buy all that crap from Acme, then why doesn't he just buy a bazooka or something and shoot the RoadRunner's head off?
20 "Dobry den!" August 27, 2008 Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
What would oranges be called if they were blue?
What would happen if I met my past self after time traveling?
Why is it a butterfly if it's not made of butter?
Why do men have nipples?
21 "Merhaba!" August 29, 2008 Whenever I go to the bathroom, I have to take a dump before I can take a piss. However in situations where I do not need to take a dump, I still cannot take a piss. What can I do to solve this problem?
I am seeking a transfer to a new college, but I cannot make up my mind. What college did you go to? Maybe I can go there?
Why are finished structures called buildings? Shouldn't they be called builts?
If a Spoon and a Fork is a Spork, what do you call a Spoon and a Knife?
You seem to wear the same clothes every episode. Why is that?
22 "G'day mate!" September 5, 2008 I am in a tight and enclosed room at the moment and I have severe claustrophobia. What should I do?
Do you have any world records?
If what goes up must come down, where the fuck do my balloons go?
I very recently fell out of my bed and landed headfirst. I am now suffering from immense and epic amnesia. What is my name?
The police said that I can't drive at 200 mph. Why?
23 "Sour de crum!" September 6, 2008 My hamster gets boners from staring at jellyfish. Is this a problem?
Whilst on World of Warcraft, I met a level 54 dragon slayer. She said that she wanted to get serious. I want to do this, but I'll have to forfeit my magic mana (level 69). What should I do?
I think my girlfriend is cheating with my identical twin brother. What should I do?
I am an alien sent from the planet Mars. I may look human, but under my cleaver disguise... I look like a giant purple squirrel, with 3 tails, 5 eyes, and 18 tongues. My goal is to collect data and items to help me people learn of yours, so we can invade. I do this by eating anything I think is useful. Odd items, people... Animals... whatever I want. And by eating so much, I get horrible stomachaches. And sometimes it gets so bad, I end up throwing it all up... But then I have to start over! is there a way to make me stop throwing up?
I showed my Mother one of your videos and claims that you are my biological Father. Why did you run off, where's my child support, and why did you put me up for adoption?
24 "Min-hani!" September 11, 2008 Help! Ninjas are at the front door! What should I do?
Does there exist a male ladybug?
If someone has a split personality, and one decides to kill the other, would it be considered murder or suicide?
Can blind people see their dreams?
I have noticed recently that my testicles smell different in the summer than they do in the winter. Why is that?
25 "Bom Dia" September 12, 2008 If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Why is lemon juice artificially flavored, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
If you were the owner of a factory, what would it produce?
I was with my girlfriend the other night and then suddenly my phone rings, it was this guy that said "get away from my daughter", I asked her and she said that her father was dead. Then who was on the phone!?
If I tied a piece of buttered toast to a cat and chucked it off a bridge, which side would it land on?
26 "Keshie" September 25, 2008 I just finished swallowing a gallon of antifreeze and am about to go into a large freezer. Will I need a coat?
I have an unnatural hatred for the color magenta, do you hate the color magenta? And if so will you join my underground resistance to purge this world from everything magenta colored and related?
Can ninjas catch me if I am on fire?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
Where do all the blocks from Tetris go when they disappear?
27 "Tanibanani" September 28, 2008 Why is Plan B always the better one?
I have been hired by Six Flags to make their newest "extreme" roller coaster. I decided the best route to go would be to create a ride that caused sexual pleasure throughout. But nothing I have thought up has been orgasmic enough. Can you give me any tips on how to make a roller coaster that will achieve such an effect?
There is a black hole behind my couch, it wasn't there before! What should I do about it?
What flavor would you get if you put water melon and cheese burgers into a blender?
I was in my neighborhood Chili's restaurant with my roommates and they were running one of those charity things where you could pay a dollar to color a chili pepper for Cancer research. Much to our surprise, we saw this hanging along with them: [Cuts to a picture of a charity chili pepper with "That Guy With the Glasses" written on it.] Care to explain yourself?
28 "Fo-Fo" October 3, 2008 What is ROLF? Is it a misspelling?
Once, my cousin jumped off the Grand Canyon and landed in South Korea. How did this happen?
Why is it against the law for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?
Why do all my girlfriends smell like fish? Is it my shoes?
There is a zombie who lives in my closet and he is starting to get annoying because he keeps trying to eat my brains. I want to kill him, but I only have a carrot, a piece of string, a schizophrenic hamster, and a Scottish bagpipe. What should I do?
29 "Diase" October 3, 2008 What can The Candy Man not do?
Is it possible to get tails on a double headed coin?
Did the Titanic hit an iceberg?
Help! There is a psychopathic killer after me! I am afraid I have no chance of living and will inevitably die a horrible, horrible death!!! So, how was your day?
I asked my brother to go and buy condoms for me so me and my girlfriend could have sex. When he gave the condoms I found them already opened. I was wondering if it was possible that he opened the condoms, used them, and then tried to return them to me, and if I could catch any disease that he has.
30 "Salutations" October 9, 2008 The question "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?" is asked before That Guy challenges viewers to answer the following questions:
What killed the dinosaurs?
How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Can you tell me how to get back on to the freeway?
What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?

2009

Episode Number Greeting Date Released Questions
31 - User Edition "Hello in a language you won't bother to look up" January 3, 2009 Viewers answer That Guy's questions from the previous episode.
31.1 - Suede Edition "Noh quin eh" January 4, 2009 Suede answers That Guy's questions.
31.2 - Linkara Edition  Jo-lan tru February 8, 2009 Linkara answers That Guy's questions.
32 "Bah-vra Alray" February 15, 2009 How is it that there are so many smurfs if there is only one female?
Can I eat your face?
Nicholson or Ledger?
Would you get aroused if Rosie O'Donnell was actually a woman?
Are you a Gay, a pedophile, or a woman?
Where's Wally?
What am I thinking as I watch this video?
Is your mother a MILF?
My mom said she has a private area like me, does that mean she has a penis?
If you were a super hero, what kind of powers would you have and why?
33 "Bahn" March 23, 2009 What is the worst way to die and what is the best way to die?
I am afraid of my mother, what should I do?
Why is it that you find asteroids in the hemisphere, but you find hemorrhoids in your ass?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
How can I kill my family and frame the cat?
I live in the middle of nowhere. Whenever I manage to get into civilization and around decent people, I exchange emails because it's the best way for me to get to know them... However, they never email me back. So my communist friend and I have decided to dictate and enslave the entire state. How should we punish them?
If you could legally murder any celebrity who would it be?
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
Which weighs more: a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
How many fingers am I holding up right now?
34 "Hi...umm...hi." March 31, 2009 The special April Fool's Day Edition of Ask That Guy. The Nostalgia Critic answers the questions.
Would you join me in magic adventures on my pony unicorn (which can drill into the ground with its penis) to the center of the Earth?
Why does hair grow on my hands?
How do I know if the KGB is watching me?
How should I go about taking over the world?
How many dead kittens is enough?
35 "Comostika" April 19, 2009 There is a dead deer in front of my drive way. What should I do with it?
What's your favorite color?
Will you marry me?
I was found outside your house naked, should I get myself checked?
Soup or salad?
If I asked you a question, would you answer it?
Do you dance like crazy when no one is looking?
When I saw two birds on top of each other my mom and dad said they were hugging, is this true?
Can I borrow $50?
How can I stop myself from procrastinating?
36 "Ahoy-oy" May 29, 2009 If SpongeBob Squarepants was a woman, would his boobs be called cubes?
My toaster asked me to stick my hand in it while it was still hot. What should I do?
Why did Jack go up the hill with Jill, since he had a crown and was so obviously was a king? Why didn't he just get a servant to go up the hill with Jill and get the water?
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
How do you ask a question that will be on your show?
Can you see me?
Yesterday I planned to go to Africa but my trip was canceled. Where is the god damn question?
I found a cat with whipped cream at the mouth. Should I keep it?
Are you my conscience?
How could you type with boxing gloves on?
37 "Bahreth." June 21, 2009 Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
Is the Phantom of the Opera there inside your mind?
What is in my father's gun? Is it candy?
What if Beethoven never existed?
What would happen if you farted during a prostate exam?
What will you do when you run out of ways to say "Hello"?
If I dress up like you for Halloween, would you sue me?
Now I know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me?
Spit or Swallow?
Can this question be any more obvious?
38 "Ostio." July 26, 2009 If a vampire goes into space where there is no sunrise or sunset, will it live or die?
Why do fools fall in love?
What do women on "The Flintsones" use as tampons?
What would happen if a lightsaber, which can cut through anything, collides with adamantium, which can also cut anything?
Someone told me to get a life, but I already own the game of "Life". What else could this person mean?
Why is coffee called a cup of Joe?
I saw mommy snorting a white powder. What is it and why is she doing it?
Is there a monster under my bed?
If you're supposed to make lemonade when life gives you lemons, what do you make when life gives you a dead hooker in your trunk?
Got Milk?
39 "Godah." August 23, 2009 Do you have an ACTUAL job? If so, please describe it in detail.
Are you answering "No" to this question?
Will you have my baby?
Why so serious?
Could you take a look at this boil for me?
If a golden ticket gets you into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, what does a purple ticket get you?
Wanna cookie?
If the tooth fairy loses a tooth, who takes it from under the pillow?
How is the sky the limit when there are footprints on the moon?
I suffer a great depression and I don't want to live any more, but I don't have the courage to commit suicide. Will you please kill me by shooting me in the head with a handgun?
40 "Julaviet" September 11, 2009 Why is a nickel worth 5 cents larger than a dime that's worth 10 cents?
Is Dr. Pepper a real doctor?
Why can nobody understand the adults in "Charlie Brown"?
If a nuclear bomb went off in Superman's ass, would he die?
I have become accustomed to having many human-like animals drawn into sexual scenes. Is this weird?
I hear the voices in my head. How do I record them?
Just who the heck is in Big Bird's suit on Sesame Street?
Can you Green Egg and Ham It?
Can I take your order?
Kirk or Picard?
41 "Zee-ah" October 4th, 2009

How would you solve world hunger?
Why won't Bluto simply start eating spinach to defeat Popeye?
Who the hell do you think you are?
Why don't chicken breasts have nipples?
How's life?
Uhh, how's life?
Can you tell us what is the most cruel torture you ever saw
Yes?
No?
Oh.
Why does the drive-through ATM have braille on it?
Do you like chicken? Do you like liver? Do you want Meow-Mix? If so, please deliver.
Why?

42 "Tre-vey" November 27th, 2009

Is it possible to hit a grand slam when dating a woman?
If Zordon fought god, who would win?
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
Did u frame John Proctor?
Could a Jedi commit suicide by using the force to choke himself or herself to death? [5:19:36 PM] Mark Norris: if quitters never win, and winners never quit, why should you quit while you're ahead?
If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?
Why is there an alligator and a deer sitting at my kitchen table playing chess?
If knowing is half the battle, what's the other half
My wife wanted to ask if you knew why all diet soda labels are silver?

Announcement "Happy Holidays" December 2nd, 2009

Ask That Guy asks the viewing audience to supply him with questions that are Christmas and holiday related. He will also answer each question and have an episode up every week of December.

43 "Koalie" December 5th, 2009 as part of the donation drive. December 9th, 2009 on the site.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood...In December?
Is it me or do the Clauses have a midget fetish?
What does Santa Claus have to do with Christmas? Surely this is a celebration of Jesus.
Have you been naughty or nice
On the 12 days of Christmas what did your true love give to you?
Can a driedel be made out of something other than clay?
What did YOU ask Santa for Christmas?
This December I'm planning to commit suicide. But, since Christmas is coming, I'd like my suicide to be in the spirit and cheer of the holiday: What are the best Christmas themed suicides I can commit?
Eggnog as a sexual lubricant. Yay or Nay?
If you could make up your own December holiday, what would it be?

44 "Saluton" December 11th, 2009

Why is it that on Christmas we put up trees in the living room? Aren't trees for outside?
Who would win in a fight? Santa Claus or Saint Nicholas?
Was Jesus Christ circumsised?
If my mom had sex with a snowman, would the half human/half snowman baby melt in her womb before it could be born?
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night. How should I punish that filthy, cheating whore?
Do you hear what I hear? Do you see what I see? Do you know what I know?
How can Santa deliver gifts to me when I don't have a chimney?
Why do Jewish people get 8 presents on Chanukah?
How do snowmen have sex?
What happens if you eat yellow snow?

45 "D'ava" December 21st, 2009

On Christmas Eve, what will you do if you are stuck under the mistletoe with someone extremely unattractive?
When Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer went down in history, where exactly in history did he go?
My grandmother just got run-over by a reindeer. Should I sue Santa?
If there was no Jesus, what would happen to Christmas?
Why is Charlie Brown so depressed on Christmas?
Whenever a bell rings an angel gets its wings. What do devils get?
Why are red and green always associated with Christmas?
Why does Santa use reindeer? Why not polar bears?
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus. How do I tell Mom?
What will you get me for Christmas?

46 "Happy New Year!" December 30th, 2009

What's with the cigar?
Need a light?
So, why're you still doing Christmas questions even though it's close to New Year's?
Every time we put the hat on Frosty, he shouts "Happy Birthday!" Was he dropped as a wee snowball or is it just what I keep putting in his pipe?
If you, Chuck Norris, Jesus and Buddha were in a room together, which one of you would come out alive
Is Santa a ninja?
Did you shoot your eye out?
I was recently hired to decorate the neighbor's house with Christmas decorations. Seeing as I spent the budget on cocaine, I decided to go for the most resourceful solution...by killing their newborn, and decorating their house with his organs. According to the judge, how long do "multiple life sentences" last?
Why do people even celebrate Christmas?
Can I get a Hummel figurine for Christmas?
I want Santa Claus to bring me a puppy, but my mother says she won't allow it. How do I keep her out of the way?
Does the Easter Bunny steal Santa's sleigh to get around the world?

2010

Episode Number Greeting Date Released Questions
47 "The South shall rise again!" February 2nd, 2010

Why do you still have your Christmas decorations up?
I am absolutely terrified of tofu, it's made of people you know, what can I do to solve this little problem of mine?
Can I have sex with you?
When people say, "That's what she said!", who are they talking about?
Is this a very good question?
Who shall be your successor should you ever have a need to stop doing "Ask That Guy With The Glasses"?
What would you do with two hookers and an eight ball?
Where HAVE all the flowers gone?
This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?
What exactly do you smoke in that pipe?
Can you help me with my chemistry homework?

48 "Osamo Ilikim" March 14th, 2010

Why do people say "ATM Machine"? The 'M' stands for 'machine' so, isn't it redundant?
Do you think Fried Chicken Kool-Aid would be widely accepted by the general public?
I'm working on designing a new type of cat that can shoot freeze rays from its eyes and fire projectiles from its ass. Should I have it fire grenades or Chuck Norris' fists?
Whose line is it anyway?
If someone was on fire, would they be burning calories?
Why do Christians say that abstinence is the only sure way to avoid getting pregnant when it didn't work for Mary?
Are you still doing "Ask That Guy With The Glasses"?
If violence is the answer, then what is the question?
How much money would it take for you to kill a puppy with a sledgehammer?
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie roll center of a Tootsie pop?

49 *Wookie Noises* March 27th, 2010

Considering any and every comment you post on the Internet can be used against you in the future, will anyone be able to run for president?
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
If Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy are both in love together, how could a frog and a pig have sex together?
Whenever I ask someone a difficult question, they say "Who knows." If "who" knows everything, then why should we ask you all these questions and not him?
Hello?
Why don't Game Boys have penises?
Are you a lesbian?
Can I borrow a cup of sugar?
Who? What? Where? Why?
Who shot first. Han or Greedo?

Ask That Guy VIOLATES Ma-Ti N/A April 20th, 2010 N/A Note: This was a special episode made when Doug lost his voice.
50 *Chimpanzee noises* May 13th, 2010

Oh where, oh where could my little dog be?
If watermelons are full of water, what are kumquats full of?
Do you know the muffin man?
If I see you in my dreams, should I consider you a fantasy or a nightmare?
If you could fly and shoot laser beams out of your eyes, what would you do?
Why do you close your eyes when we make love?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
I have been using Axe products for well over five years, and I have never had any hot half naked women chasing me. Is this due to false advertising or am I just too unattractive for Axe to work for me?
How come you can't taste your own tongue?
Have you ever put on a full body condom and ridden a motorcycle inside a giant cage ball around an incredibly fat woman while she wears only lime jello?

51 "Omole" June 18th, 2010

Why is Pi squared and not round?
Are you there, God?
Is there an ask that chick with the glasses that can handle more feminine questions?
How can I guarantee I will pass my next exam?
Did somebody say McDonald's?
Did somebody say slaughter innocent children inside an orphanage?
Those are some fancy glasses. How did you get them anyway?
If there's an alphabet, then what happened to the Betabet or the Deltabet?
Is Disney the only people trap operated by a mouse, or are there other places like this?
Why do we kill people who kill people to show them that killing people is wrong?
How did you like the final episode of "Lost"?

52 "Hey!" (Danish "Hey!") June 25th, 2010

If my baloney has a first name, should I eat it?
What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Do you need a silencer to shoot a mime?
Knock Knock. Can. Can I borrow a cup of sugar?
Boxers or briefs?
Is there a doctor in the house?
911. What is your emergency?
I recently broke into your house and stole your gimp suit, including the fluffy handcuffs and sex doll. What are you going to do about it?
What if Iron Chef and Iron Man traded places?
Why do you always have that same location in every single episode?

53 "Shorah." July 15th, 2010

Why did you leave me to die in that explosion?
What is Victoria's secret?
If you woke up one morning and found yourself naked in the middle of an African village where the customary greeting is shaking penises and all females braid their pubes, what would you do?
Is it true that the Devil is female?
My girlfriend is into erotic stories, and she sometimes hints she wants to re-enact some of her favorites with me. However, I broke into her erotic stories file and found that they all ended in the castration of the male involved. Should I be concerned?
If gay people come out of the closet, then what do lesbians come out of?
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Pardon me, sir. Would you have any Grey Poupon?
Can you help me open my eyes? You see I'm Asian and hate my eyes being shut?
Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?

54 "Dervas" September 9th, 2010

When the first people wrote the dictionary, where did they look to find spelling advice?
If the yellow Autobot is named Bumblebee, why isn't he an Insecticon instead?
Can you tell us a story about the most worst and painful thing you have ever done to somebody?
Did you successfully have sex with Ma-ti from the planeteers?
When the Devil sneezes are you able to say "God bless you" or would that just piss him off?
Who framed Roger Rabbit?
I have a fetish about you. I think you're Luke and I'm Leia and we have the most intense, passionate incest in the world. I think it's kinky. Your thoughts?
Why in the UK do judges and legal people wear silly wigs in court?
What is the best way to play god?
I heard a guy married his Nintendo DS recently. Do you have any plans to do something similar?

55 "Gohlden" October 7th, 2010

I need a job. Are you hiring?
I recently killed someone, and have decided to make an omlette out of his brain. Can you recommend your favorite brain omlette recipes?
Who are you?
If homosexuals can't reproduce, why are there so many of them?
Duh! Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?
What was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction?
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. What's the outcome?
Is this thing on?
How do you sleep at night?
Is that a green screen behind you?

56 "Quegway" November 4th, 2010

Who framed Roger Rabbit?
What is a Lolcat?
Blood Beard Joe is so awesome that he...
What's my dog's favorite color?
How much is that doggie in the window? The one with the waggley tail?
Is the Hummel Figurine okay?
What is the most annoying song in the world?
Why does Sonic know so much about sexual harassment?
What do you do under that bar anyway?

57 "Chip chip cheerio" December 9th, 2010

Why did you answer "Who framed Roger Rabbit" twice?
Who framed Roger Rabbit?
Why did you say butter?
You know what I mean?
How does Satan celebrate Christmas?
Scooby-Dooby-Doo, where are you?
If a dog and a dolphin can learn to get along, why can't our mom and his dad?
What would happen if you got 666 on a slot machine?
I just burped and tasted egg, and I had egg about 13 hours ago. Why do I still taste egg?
Why can't I have a normal dog like everyone else?
Can you touch your toes?

2011

Episode Number Greeting Date Released Questions
58 "Cha" January 20th, 2011

Why does food never look as good as it does on the picture?
Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?
Are you knocked up?
Are you the president of the Hair Club for Men?
In every episode, we only see your torso. Do you even have legs, feet, or a penis?
Does it float?
Does the Hummel figurine celebrate any holidays? If so, which one's her favorite?
If you could stop one event in all of history, what would it be and why?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If "octo" means eight, then why is October the tenth month?

59 "Ashom" February 24th, 2011

Where are you from?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Can you read my mind?
What does USA stand for?
Who DID frame Roger Rabbit?
Does Justin Bieber have a penis?
Why're women's feet so beautiful?
Were you saying "Boo" or "Boourns"?
Is there a good answer when women ask, "Does this make me look fat?"
If you were a hot dog and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
What would happen if you answered this question?

60 "Kohomada" March 17th, 2011

Why are drakes dragons, but also ducks?
What is the capital of New Hampshire?
It's been 5 years. Who let the dogs out?
Why did Tiffany voice Judy Jetson in the Jetsons movie?
Anyone for tennis?
Why do feet smell and noses run?
If Train A left New York traveling west at 80mph, and Train B left Chicago traveling 60mph, then at what time will my Subway club cards be valid?
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Th-That's it?
It's just, I was expecting a little something else.
Well, haven't you ever heard of Queen?
I, it's just that I...
N-Nothing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind wanting to start again?
Does he look like a bitch?

61 "Do ma mae" July 21st, 2011

What are you really wearing underneath that robe?
When will you do your next 'Ask That Guy With The Glasses?'
What do the colors mean?
Can you pronounce this Swedish word? "Allemansratten"
O Romeo, Romeo, Where Fore Art Thou Romeo?
Where have you been all my life?
Why is there blood on my shirt?
Have you ever wondered if there was more to life other than being really, really ridiculously good-looking?
True or false? (repeated several times)
I am a huge fan. Such a huge fan that I found out where you live, went into your closet, put on sexy clothes that some dead woman was wearing and hid under your bar by turning into a wolf. As you are making your video I am watching. I can see you and your delicious glasses. My question is: What would you like me to do to you?

62 "Maltese" August 14th, 2011

Have you ever had the feeling you were being watched?
What makes the red-man red?
In an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob was choking and asked for a glass of water. Why did he ask for one if he clearly lives in the ocean?
Csn you hear my heart beating like a hammer?
Am I scaring the little girl?
If I ate the Milky Way, will it taste like a milky way candy bar?
With the constant evolution of Apple technology, will their devices one day become sentient and force us to play music for them?
I have a problem; I find myself simply invited to far too many lingerie model pillow fights and they are beginning to become dull. How would you advise me in improving this situation?
I have developed chronic masturbuation and I am desperately looking for a way to cure myself. Do you have any suggestions as to how I overcome my problem?
Who is "she" in the phrase "That's what she said"?

63 "Nei ho" September 15th, 2011

Have I told you lately that I love you?
What about the heart you promised Tin Man? Or the courage you promised Lion? And Scarecrow's brain?
Why won't you look at me during sex?
In the movie Gremlins, they say you shouldn't feed the Gremlins after midnight. Well, then when exactly CAN I start feeding them?
What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
What happened to then?
When?
Ummmmm, what was I gonna say again?
These sweet, clustery things have fiber?!
Have you ever attempted a world record before?
Who is the better pony: Rainbow Dash or Twilight Sparkle?

64 "Tamil" September 29th, 2011

Please won't you be my neighbor?
What's cooler than being cool?
Will Elvis Presley come back as a hamster or is he still wandering various no name shopping centers pondering the meaning of life?
If "Guns don't kill people, people kill people," isn't the next logical step "Don't give guns to people?"
The Mayor of New York just gave me the key to the city. What does it unlock?
Wby can't one simply walk into Mordor?
What is the first rule of Fight Club?
But doesn't that technically mean YOU'RE talking about Fight Club right now?
I have lost my memory. Could you please help me find it?
How does CatDog from the Nickelodeon cartoon use the bathroom?
Do Canadians do anything other than play hockey all day?

65 "Saluto" October 16th, 2011

Will you cut off your penis for a billion dollars?
I can't dance, could you show me your moves?
If you were abducted by aliens, what would you tell them?
There are more than six billion people on planet Earth, and yet, I am still single. Why is that?
When your foot falls asleep, does it dream?
Why didn't Sega make their Dreamcast DVD compatible?
Why haven't you made any porn movies yet?
What age is Mickey Mouse supposed to be?
Why won't you answer my question?
How can actions speak louder than words when the pen is mightier than the sword?

66 "Hasha" November 3rd, 2011

What's your favorite scary movie?
I've heard from a friend that you can turn water into wine and that you can walk on water. Is he telling the truth, or is he confusing you with "someone" else?
Can switching to Geico really save me 15% or more on car insurance?
Now that Apple has an iPhone that can answer questions with voice command, is there any point to your existence anymore?
Can you help me with my homework?
How do you make it look like an accident?
Should I put rims on my wheelchair's wheels to look sexier for my girlfriend?
Why does Mickey wear pants, but no shirt, and Donald wears a shirt, but no pants?
He-Man says he has the power and Captain Planet says the power is yours. Who really has the power?


2012

Episode Number Greeting Date Released Questions
Live at Kami-Con N/A February 11th, 2012

How do I get my mother-in-law to like me?
I've got a friend that's a little too obsessed with Voltron. What would your suggestion be? How should I help him?
How do I stop my friend's new girlfriend from stealing him from me?
If toasters could fly, would penguins sing?
What is the best way to come out to your parents about being a furry?
What do you do if your Johnson's too... if your 'equipment' is too big?
He ran over his boss with a forklift. How does he tell him that he's sorry?
I work at this place called Aperture Science, and we have this weird killer robot issue. How can we, like, you know, stop that?
How do you approach Skyrim addiction?
How come I forgot the question I was about to ask you?
What is the meaning of life?
I have a lot of trouble waking up in the morning. What do you suggest instead of an alarm clock?
I'm stuck in a room with Justin Beiber, Rebecca Black, a Zombie, and a single bullet. What should I do?
How do I quit Fluttershy?

67 "Hedge." February 16th, 2012

Why does Peppermint Patty keep calling Charlie Brown Chuck all the time?
Republican or Democrat?
I have a demon in my house. It's talking to me, telling me things I can't understand. What do I do?
Are hipsters becoming mainstream?
Do you love your job?
Have you seen junior's grades?
What does God need with a starship?
If Jesus can turn water into wine and humans are 90% water, am I drunk?
Why is it a pair of panties but just one bra?
Why is lunchmeat mostly round, but bread is square?

68 "Glitis" March 8th, 2012

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
Jesus could walk on water, humans are 90% water, and I am able to walk on humans, does that make me 90% Jesus?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Should I use reverse psychology on potential employers to get a job that I am not qualified for?
Why is the grass always greener on the other side?
Why is water so wet?
Does a dyslexic Satanist worship Santa?
Why does my nose bleed if I didn't cut it on anything?
Where for art thou, brother?
Have the lambs stopped screaming?

69 N/A (No opening, though questions are from Matsuricon) October 1st, 2012

Why is Pluto in the doghouse while Goofy roams free?
If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
What is worse: Hell or purgatory?
Which souls are the most delicious?
So, where exactly is Canada?
What color is a mirror?
What happened to your first love?
Do you read comics, and what is your favorite comic?
Can I be your friend?
If you're the devil, then what exactly is the Hummel figure?

DVD Exclusive

Episode Number Date Released
Best of TGWTG Vol. 1 - AskThatGuy Ep. 1 March 10, 2010
Best of TGWTG Vol. 1 - AskThatGuy Ep. 2 March 10, 2010
AskThatGuy: Kickassia Edition October 10th, 2010
Best of TGWTG Vol. 2 - AskThatGuy Episode April 1st, 2011
Best of TGWTG Vol. 4 - Continuation of Ep. 69 May 4th, 2013

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