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Bad Movie Beatdown

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Bad Movie Beatdown

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Bad Movie Beatdown is a review show, presented by Film Brain. In it, he reviews bad movies that are usually considered to be outside the usual demographic of The Nostalgia Critic, however, most of Film Brain's movies are recent films from the 1990s and 2000s, films that the Nostalgia Critic wouldn't review. The first episode was a review of Pluto Nash (AKA The Adventures of Pluto Nash) that premiered on April 6th, 2009.

Episodes

Season 1

Episode Number Name Description Date Released
1 Pluto Nash (AKA The Adventures of Pluto Nash) (2002) The first season of Bad Movie Beatdown begins with the infamous Eddie Murphy flop "Pluto Nash". As he reviews the movie, Film Brain soon discovers that big names and special effects can't fix poor plotting and jokes, soon growing infuriated by the ludicrious plot twists. April 6, 2009
2 The Fast and the Furious (2001) Bad Movie Beatdown gets a turbo-charged upgrade, as Film Brain rams and shunts the surprisingly dull "The Fast and the Furious", in 'anticipation' of the fourth movie in the franchise. April 14, 2009
3 Equilibrium (2002) The long-awaited review of Equilibrium as Film Brain shows no mercy in this fully-loaded, guns-blazing and controversial assault on the action fest June 19th, 2009
4 Seraphim Falls (2007) With a new intro, get ready to run with Film Brain as he takes on pretentious mumblefest western Seraphim Falls. The chase is on! June 26th, 2009
5 Darkness Falls (2003) The PG-13 horror movie is targeted this time around as Film Brain pulls ITS teeth out! July 3rd, 2009
6 Transmorphers (2007) Terminator Meets Transformers. Film Brain transforms and rolls out to terminate this Asylum made ripoff. July 10th, 2009
7 Beverly Hills Cop III (1994) Another bad Eddie Murphy movie gets what's coming to it! July 31st, 2009
8 On Deadly Ground (1994) Steven Seagal in a bad action movie with an environmental message! August 7th, 2009
9 Hollywood Homicide (2003) Harrison Ford in a movie where there's no homicide. Just him eating donuts during sex. Oh and real estate. Yeah... August 14th, 2009
10 AVP: Alien VS Predator (2004) "Whoever wins, we lose!" An honest tagline for once! August 28th, 2009
11 Final Destination 3 (2006) With the Final Destination on the horizon, Buck takes on the third in the series. Will he tempt fate? September 3rd, 2009
12 Monkeybone (2001) Brandon Fraser and Whoopi Goldberg can't save this opus about a man and his crazy cartoon character! September 10th, 2009
13 Meteor (1979) Sean Connery in a bad disaster movie. At least it isn't Zardoz, right? RIGHT?! September 17th, 2009
14 The Time Machine (2002) Film Brain takes a trip back to the dark days of 2002 to review the abysmal remake/adaptation of H.G. Wells' masterpiece! October 1st, 2009
15 Far Cry (2008) Film Brain takes on an Uwe Boll movie. Will he ever be the same after it? October 8th, 2009
16 The Jazz Singer (1980) Film Brain Vs a remake of a 1920s movie with Neil Diamond and Laurence Olivier. Plus some cameos. October 24th, 2009
17 Special: Christmas With The Kranks (2004) Film Brain returns for a holiday special, to battle Christmas With the Kranks, a strangely contradictory movie in which the spirit of Christmas is based entirely in crass commercialism. December 24th, 2009

Season 2

Episode Number Name Description Date Released
18 Mission: Impossible II (2000) The season premiere! Buck's mission, should he choose to accept it, is to get back to the site and review more bad movies! March 4th, 2010
19 X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) Alas poor Deadpool. I knew him, wiki readers. A fellow of infinite jest. Too bad he was a merc without a mouth and stuff. Oh and Wolvie was horrible, too. March 11th, 2010
20 Night at the Museum 2 (2009) Is this sequel better than the original? Watch and find out! March 18th, 2010
21 Seven Pounds (2008) This season's controversial episode! March 25th, 2010
22 Evan Almighty (2007) Just in time for Easter! April 1st, 2010
23 Live Wire (1992) Pierce Brosnan embarrasses himself again on BMB! April 8th, 2010
24 Ratatoing (2007) Sigh...Ripoffs like this should be illegal. April 15th, 2010
25 Doom (2005) The Rock as a man and a half. This isn't going to end well. April 24th, 2010
26 Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009) Kristen Kruek left Smallville to make this?! April 29th, 2010
27 Bad Movie Cinema Snob: McBain Part of the Year Two Crossover event! With Brad Jones! May 2010
28 BMB Atop the Fourth Wall: The Spirit Part of the Year Two Crossover event! With Linkara! May 21st, 2010
29 Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus The Asylum's legit entry into films... June 3rd, 2010
30 Men in Black II (2002) This shameful sequel isn't a jab at MikeJ. Naaaaah. June 10th, 2010
31 The Ugly Truth (2009) YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS TRUTH! June 17th, 2010
32 Steal (2002) Bad actors, and explosions. Can someone take this movie away? June 24th, 2010
33 Nighthawks (1981) Hey yo. Stallone month begins with this early 80s action movie! July 1st, 2010
34 Cobra (1986) More Sly Stallone action! Sadly, no G.I. Joe is present. July 8th, 2010
35 The Specialist (1994) Stallone has a bomb? RUN!!!! July 15th, 2010
36 Get Carter (2000) I think Film Brain wants to get Carter before Stallone does. July 22nd, 2010
37 Driven (2001) Stallone month ends as this movie drives Buck insane! July 29th, 2010
38 Paul Blart Mall Cop (2009) Film Brain takes on a movie that's "supposed" to be funny. August 5th, 2010
39 Parting Shots (1999) See! The UK has bad movies, too! August 12th, 2010
40 Bride Wars (2009) See Anne Hathaway get violent! Welshy approved! August 20th, 2010
41 Epic Movie (2007) This movie fails epically. August 26th, 2010
42 D-War (Dragon Wars) (2007) Dragon Wars! Should be an awesome concept but it isn't. September 2nd, 2010
43 All About Steve (2009) Steve! It's all about him isn't it? WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?! September 9th, 2010
44 The Haunted Mansion (2003) Film Brain and Braeden Orr take on yet another Eddie Murphy flop! September 16th, 2010
45 Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (2007) You'd think a movie about pirates would be awesome wouldn't you? September 23rd, 2010
46 Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (Part Two) (2007) Welshy returns to give his take on the third movie of this series! September 30th, 2010
47 Hudson Hawk (1991) What happened, Bruce? You used to be cool. October 7th, 2010
48 Mega Pirahna (2010) The Asylum returns with another fish tale gone wrong. October 28th, 2010
49 10,000 B.C. (2008) So...historically...inaccurate. November 19th, 2010
50 The Riddle (2007) Riddle me this. Is this the season finale and 50th ep of BMB? ...Yes. November 25th, 2010
51 While She Was Out (2008) It may be Christmas Eve, but cheer is definitely lacking... December 23rd, 2010
52 Money Train (1995) Stop this crazy train, I want to get off! December 30th, 2010

Season 3

Episode Number Name Description Date Released
53 Ultraviolet (2006) Film Brain is back! And that only means one thing... Watch out, Kurt Wimmer! March 3rd, 2011
54 Moon 44 (1990) Film Brain looks at an early film from Roland Emmerich. In space, no one can hear you snore March 10th, 2011
55 The Unborn (2009) Jump scare! Jump scare! Jump scare! March 24th, 2011
56 Fat Slags (2004) This is not an April Fools joke. This movie actually exists. March 31st, 2011
57 Pentathlon (1993) Dolph Lundgren at the Olympics! He may have to settle for the Bronze. April 7th, 2011
58 Grown Ups (2010) Film Brain looks at Sandler's latest slapstick outing. Grow up, Adam. April 14th, 2011
59 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) With the fifth movie coming, Film Brain tooks a look at the second in the series. April 21st, 2011
60 2012 (Part One) (2009) We're all doomed! It's a Roland Emmerich movie! May 12th, 2011
61 2012 (Part Two) (2009) It's the end of the world as we know it... and I feel dumb. May 19th, 2011
62 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Part 1) (2009) In this special 2-part review, Film Brain rectifies an old mistake. June 16th, 2011
63 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Part 2) (2009) The 2-part review continues, as the film transforms itself into a complete mess. June 23rd, 2011
64 Out of Reach They took Seagal's penpal... Now it's kinda impersonal! June 30th, 2011
65 Mercenary of Justice Seagal Month continues as a confused Film Brain fights... for logic! July 7th, 2011
66 Shadow Man Seagal month presses on...in the shadows! July 14th, 2011
67 Against the Dark The vampire-zombies have taken over, and it's to Steven Seagal and The Rock's cousin to save us! July 22nd, 2011
68 Half Past Dead (2002) Seagal Month concludes with Seagal locked up in Alcatraz. I say leave him there. July 28th, 2011
69 Half Past Dead 2 (2007) Yes, they made a sequel. And it doesn't even have Steven Seagal. August 4th, 2011
70 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) Film Brain joins forces with Welshy to saw into this Michael Bay remake. August 11th, 2011
71 The Tourist (2010) It's a bit like Charade! Except not as good. August 25th, 2011
72 Spy Kids 3D: Game Over (2003) Ahead of it's time! As in the technology didn't work. September 1st, 2011
73 Gamer (2009) Can someone mind-control Gerard Butler so he picks better scripts? September 8th, 2011
74 Good Luck Chuck (2007) Dane Cook has sex. Lots of it. As if you didn't dislike him already. September 15th, 2011
75 Ghost Rider (2007) Nicolas Cage sets his head (and career) on fire! September 22nd, 2011
76 When in Rome (2010) Toss this rom-com crap to the lions. September 29th, 2011
77 Van Helsing (2004) Hugh Jackman fights off all the monsters bar one... the script. October 6th, 2011
78 Bear You'll be roaring with laughter at this awful horror film! October 13th, 2011
79 The Happening (2008) It turns out that M. Night can't see the wood for the trees... October 20th, 2011
80 Diary of the Dead Film Brain concludes his horror-themed month with a stiff from George A. Romero. October 27th, 2011
81 Reckoning Day The last one... for now. Say farewell to the third season of Bad Movie Beatdown. November 3rd, 2011
82 Christmas Special: Little Fockers Film Brain delivers the Christmas turkey, with the over-saturated stars being the stuffing. December 22nd, 2011
83 Review of 2011 Film Brain tries to give a (almost definitive) look back at the films of 2011, including his best and worst of year. January 7th, 2012

Season 4

Episode Number Name Description Date Released
84 Sucker Punch (2011) Feminism takes two steps forward and nine somersaults back in Zac Snyder's misguided opus. Who would unleash such a horror on JO and Film Brain? March 1st, 2012
85 Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011) Film Brain reviews a movie so bad, he's got back-up in the form of Rap Critic! March 8th, 2012
86 The Marine Film Brain starts a season of movies starring wrestlers with a movie where John Cena is invincible because he's a marine and stuff. March 15th, 2012
87 The Condemned (2007) 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin fights for his life as one of The Condemned - and so are the audience watching him, as Film Brain discovers. March 22nd, 2012
88 Wrong Side of Town RVD and Batista head to the wrong side of direct-to-video action. March 29th, 2012
89 Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) Wrestlemonthia continues on Bad Movie Beatdown, as Bill Goldberg co-stars in this Van Damme sequel. April 12th, 2012
90 Tooth Fairy (2010) In a belated conclusion to Wrestlemonthia, Film Brain reviews a film starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson that's like pulling teeth. April 28th, 2012
91 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009) Todd and Film Brain re-team, but will their eardrums be able to handle it? June 14th, 2012
92 Scissors (1991) Film Brain reviews this gonzo saga of talking birds, twin brothers and (naturally) scissors, starring Sharon Stone. July 4th, 2012
93 Going Overboard (1989) Film Brain celebrates his 100th Bad Movie Beatdown episode by reviewing the atrocious debut of Adam Sandler, as his co-workers speak their minds about him! July 21st, 2012
94 The Dilemma (2011) Film Brain finds out that infidelity isn't an easy thing to make funny. July 26th, 2012
95 One Night Stand (1997) Film Brain concludes his "infidelity double" by kicking off Snipes Month at the same time! August 2nd, 2012
96 Blade Trinity (2004) Snipes Month continues as Snipes sucks the life out of his own movie! August 16th, 2012
97 The Marksman (2005) Film Brain paints a picture of this direct-to-video Wesley Snipes actioner, and it's not pretty. August 23rd, 2012
98 The Contractor (2007) In this latest episode of Snipes Month, Wesley travels to what is supposedly London to meet a very odd little girl... August 30th, 2012
99 The Art of War II: Betrayal (2008) Snipes Month (belatedly) concludes with a follow-up to one of Wesley's movies that no one wanted or cared about! September 6th, 2012
100 The Art of War III: Retribution (2009) If you thought the sequel with Snipes was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet... September 20th, 2012
101 Batman Returns (1992) The Bat. The Cat. The Penguin. The Brain. The Sage. Gang's all here for another Bad Movie Beatdown crossover! September 27th, 2012
102 Dead Men Don't Die (1990) You know what's scarier than zombies? Racial stereotypes, as it turns out. October 4th, 2012
103 John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars (2001) A film that proves that the red planet is cursed for both filmmakers and the audience. October 11th, 2012
104 Doomsday Film Brain reviews a film that's like the best bits of other movies - and with only slightly more coherency. October 25th, 2012
105 The Cavern Film Brain presents to you one of the worst films he has ever seen. Have a nice day. November 1st, 2012
106 Die Another Day In this extended episode, Film Brain looks at the film that nearly killed James Bond where many supervillains couldn't. November 9th, 2012
107 xXx Film Brain gets X-treme for this review of the Rob Cohen-directed Bond contender, with Vin Diesel as the world's least likely secret agent. December 8th, 2012
108 Stealth Film Brain concludes his Rob Cohen double feature and the current season by looking at one of 2005's biggest flops - it's Short Circuit meets Top Gun! December 19th, 2012
109 Deck the Halls Film Brain offers another Christmas turkey to be stuffed and carved, that shows the true festive spirit is materialism and sex jokes! December 24th, 2012
110 Review of 2012 In this special episode, Film Brain takes a look at the cinematic year that's just passed and gives his best and worst of lists, plus much more! January 12th, 2013

Season 5

Episode Number Name Description Date Released
111 Prometheus (Part 1) Bad Movie Beatdown returns for a fifth season, kicking off with Film Brain looking at what he felt was last summer's biggest disappointment - an unfortunate trip back to the Alien franchise. February 28th, 2013
112 Prometheus (Part 2) Film Brain concludes his two-part look at Ridley Scott's return to the Alien franchise, where things get much, much sillier... Plus the review in one part, if you have the fortitude. March 7th, 2013
113 Set Up Film Brain and the Rap Critic re-team, this time looking at one of 50 Cent's direct-to-DVD efforts, that somehow gets a big star like Bruce Willis in it!? March 14th, 2013
114 Wes Craven Presents Don't Look Down Hang on for laughs as Film Brain reviews a hilariously awful TV movie presented by horror icon Wes Craven, starring Twilight's Billy Burke (you know, Bella's dad). March 21st, 2013
115 I Love You, Beth Cooper Film Brain reviews a creepy high school rom-com that seems to have been made by people who've only experienced it through John Hughes movies. April 4th, 2013
116 Shameful Sequel Smackdown (with MikeJ) - Nutty Professor II: The Klumps Film Brain and MikeJ team for a huge crossover episode, with a super-sized portion of Eddie Murphy in many different fat suits... April 11th, 2013
117 Breaking Wind What's worse than Twilight? A bad spoof of it, of course! Forget your Scary Movies and your Seltzerbergs, and stand back, because Film Brain is about to let rip. April 18th, 2013
118 Awake Film Brain slices to the heart of this preposterous scare-mongering medical thriller, that stars the disastrous duo of Hayden Christensen and Jessica Alba. May 4th, 2013
119 Gone Fishin' Film Brain reviews a Disney movie that almost was, a feeble comedy that gasps like a fish, featuring the dubious comic stylings of... Joe Pesci and Danny Glover? May 9th, 2013
120 The Hangover Part II Film Brain reviews a movie that makes you wish for a night of heavy drinking to forget it - you already saw it anyway when it was called The Hangover. May 30th, 2013
121 Project X (2012) Film Brain looks at a film set at the biggest party you've likely ever seen and offers a view of humanity that will make you want to hurl. June 15th, 2013
122 I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry Kicking off a season of Happy Madison reviews, Film Brain looks at a comedy about gay marriage - that's unfortunately laced with homophobic, sexist and racist jokes... Oops. July 4th, 2013
123 Strange Wilderness Film Brain continues his Happy Madison Month by wandering into a comedic wilderness that even certain substances won't be able to make you laugh at... July 11th, 2013
124 Just Go With It Film Brain has to watch this dismal remake of a farce, that's more like watching Adam Sandler's Hawaiian vacation footage - glad he's having so much fun at least... August 1st, 2013
125 Jack & Jill In the final episode in his season of Happy Madison reviews, Film Brain endures the film that not only multiples Adam Sandler by two, but the Razzies by ten. August 14th, 2013
126 The Alternate (AKA Agent of Death) Is Eric Roberts, like Gerard Butler and Channing Tatum, a bad enough dude to save The President in this hilariously low-rent imitation of Die Hard? Film Brain finds out! September 26th, 2013
127 The Shepard Mathew subjected Leo to the one of the worst films he had ever seen for a potential crossover and then didn't even review it - now it's payback time. Pray for them. December 5th, 2013
128 The Devil Inside Film Brain wonders what on Earth possessed these filmmakers to think this ending was a good idea? Find out in the review the Vatican probably doesn't care about. December 19th, 2013
129 Review of 2013 Film Brain takes you back through the cinematic year that was, from the good, the bad and the Bruce Willis, whilst also giving his picks for the best and worst of the year! January 23rd, 2014

Season 6

Episode Number Name Description Date Released
130 Texas Chainsaw (with Welshy) At MAGfest in 2013, Film Brain and Welshy went to see one of the year's most unintentionally hilarious movies. In 2014, they're re-teaming for payback... The buzz is back. February 13th, 2014
131 Total Recall (2012) You got what you wanted, give these people Bad Movie Beatdown! Film Brain reviews and compares this empty remake of the Arnold classic - see you at the party! March 12th, 2014
132 This Means War Who knew stalking and invasion of privacy could be so "romantic"? Film Brain goes deep undercover to review the action-rom-com that will probably make you go a bit paranoid... March 27th, 2014
133 Lawnmower Man 2 - Beyond Cyberspace Film Brain is jacking into virtual reality to re-visit this infamously horrible sequel - but can even he uncover the meaning of what the flying doo-dah "Egypt" is? June 14th, 2014
134 The Love Guru Film Brain finds there's no love lost when it comes to the movie that infamously ended Mike Myers' career - through pain, we can let the spiritual healing begin. July 17th, 2014
135 Killers (2010) (with Ursa) Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl make a deadly duo in this tedious action rom-com, but can Film Brain and Ursa from Stuff You Like take them out? October 2nd, 2014

Specials

On December 1st, 2009, the BMB team produced a special hosted by lordhebe.

  • It'll Be Alright on the Bad Movie Night (December 1st, 2009)


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