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Bad Movie Beatdown
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Bad Movie Beatdown is a review show, presented by Film Brain. In it, he reviews bad movies that are usually considered to be outside the usual demographic of The Nostalgia Critic, however, most of Film Brain's movies are recent films from the 1990s and 2000s, films that the Nostalgia Critic wouldn't review. The first episode was a review of Pluto Nash (AKA The Adventures of Pluto Nash) that premiered on April 6th, 2009.
Episodes
Season 1
| Episode Number | Name | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Pluto Nash (AKA The Adventures of Pluto Nash) (2002) | The first season of Bad Movie Beatdown begins with the infamous Eddie Murphy flop "Pluto Nash". As he reviews the movie, Film Brain soon discovers that big names and special effects can't fix poor plotting and jokes, soon growing infuriated by the ludicrious plot twists. | April 6, 2009 |
| 2 | The Fast and the Furious (2001) | Bad Movie Beatdown gets a turbo-charged upgrade, as Film Brain rams and shunts the surprisingly dull "The Fast and the Furious", in 'anticipation' of the fourth movie in the franchise. | April 14, 2009 |
| 3 | Equilibrium (2002) | The long-awaited review of Equilibrium as Film Brain shows no mercy in this fully-loaded, guns-blazing and controversial assault on the action fest | June 19th, 2009 |
| 4 | Seraphim Falls (2007) | With a new intro, get ready to run with Film Brain as he takes on pretentious mumblefest western Seraphim Falls. The chase is on! | June 26th, 2009 |
| 5 | Darkness Falls (2003) | The PG-13 horror movie is targeted this time around as Film Brain pulls ITS teeth out! | July 3rd, 2009 |
| 6 | Transmorphers (2007) | Terminator Meets Transformers. Film Brain transforms and rolls out to terminate this Asylum made ripoff. | July 10th, 2009 |
| 7 | Beverly Hills Cop III (1994) | Another bad Eddie Murphy movie gets what's coming to it! | July 31st, 2009 |
| 8 | On Deadly Ground (1994) | Steven Seagal in a bad action movie with an environmental message! | August 7th, 2009 |
| 9 | Hollywood Homicide (2003) | Harrison Ford in a movie where there's no homicide. Just him eating donuts during sex. Oh and real estate. Yeah... | August 14th, 2009 |
| 10 | AVP: Alien VS Predator (2004) | "Whoever wins, we lose!" An honest tagline for once! | August 28th, 2009 |
| 11 | Final Destination 3 (2006) | With the Final Destination on the horizon, Buck takes on the third in the series. Will he tempt fate? | September 3rd, 2009 |
| 12 | Monkeybone (2001) | Brandon Fraser and Whoopi Goldberg can't save this opus about a man and his crazy cartoon character! | September 10th, 2009 |
| 13 | Meteor (1979) | Sean Connery in a bad disaster movie. At least it isn't Zardoz, right? RIGHT?! | September 17th, 2009 |
| 14 | The Time Machine (2002) | Film Brain takes a trip back to the dark days of 2002 to review the abysmal remake/adaptation of H.G. Wells' masterpiece! | October 1st, 2009 |
| 15 | Far Cry (2008) | Film Brain takes on an Uwe Boll movie. Will he ever be the same after it? | October 8th, 2009 |
| 16 | The Jazz Singer (1980) | Film Brain Vs a remake of a 1920s movie with Neil Diamond and Laurence Olivier. Plus some cameos. | October 24th, 2009 |
| 17 | Special: Christmas With The Kranks (2004) | Film Brain returns for a holiday special, to battle Christmas With the Kranks, a strangely contradictory movie in which the spirit of Christmas is based entirely in crass commercialism. | December 24th, 2009 |
Season 2
| Episode Number | Name | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|
| 18 | Mission: Impossible II (2000) | The season premiere! Buck's mission, should he choose to accept it, is to get back to the site and review more bad movies! | March 4th, 2010 |
| 19 | X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) | Alas poor Deadpool. I knew him, wiki readers. A fellow of infinite jest. Too bad he was a merc without a mouth and stuff. Oh and Wolvie was horrible, too. | March 11th, 2010 |
| 20 | Night at the Museum 2 (2009) | Is this sequel better than the original? Watch and find out! | March 18th, 2010 |
| 21 | Seven Pounds (2008) | This season's controversial episode! | March 25th, 2010 |
| 22 | Evan Almighty (2007) | Just in time for Easter! | April 1st, 2010 |
| 23 | Live Wire (1992) | Pierce Brosnan embarrasses himself again on BMB! | April 8th, 2010 |
| 24 | Ratatoing (2007) | Sigh...Ripoffs like this should be illegal. | April 15th, 2010 |
| 25 | Doom (2005) | The Rock as a man and a half. This isn't going to end well. | April 24th, 2010 |
| 26 | Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009) | Kristen Kruek left Smallville to make this?! | April 29th, 2010 |
| 27 | Bad Movie Cinema Snob: McBain | Part of the Year Two Crossover event! With Brad Jones! | May 2010 |
| 28 | BMB Atop the Fourth Wall: The Spirit | Part of the Year Two Crossover event! With Linkara! | May 21st, 2010 |
| 29 | Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus | The Asylum's legit entry into films... | June 3rd, 2010 |
| 30 | Men in Black II (2002) | This shameful sequel isn't a jab at MikeJ. Naaaaah. | June 10th, 2010 |
| 31 | The Ugly Truth (2009) | YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS TRUTH! | June 17th, 2010 |
| 32 | Steal (2002) | Bad actors, and explosions. Can someone take this movie away? | June 24th, 2010 |
| 33 | Nighthawks (1981) | Hey yo. Stallone month begins with this early 80s action movie! | July 1st, 2010 |
| 34 | Cobra (1986) | More Sly Stallone action! Sadly, no G.I. Joe is present. | July 8th, 2010 |
| 35 | The Specialist (1994) | Stallone has a bomb? RUN!!!! | July 15th, 2010 |
| 36 | Get Carter (2000) | I think Film Brain wants to get Carter before Stallone does. | July 22nd, 2010 |
| 37 | Driven (2001) | Stallone month ends as this movie drives Buck insane! | July 29th, 2010 |
| 38 | Paul Blart Mall Cop (2009) | Film Brain takes on a movie that's "supposed" to be funny. | August 5th, 2010 |
| 39 | Parting Shots (1999) | See! The UK has bad movies, too! | August 12th, 2010 |
| 40 | Bride Wars (2009) | See Anne Hathaway get violent! Welshy approved! | August 20th, 2010 |
| 41 | Epic Movie (2007) | This movie fails epically. | August 26th, 2010 |
| 42 | D-War (Dragon Wars) (2007) | Dragon Wars! Should be an awesome concept but it isn't. | September 2nd, 2010 |
| 43 | All About Steve (2009) | Steve! It's all about him isn't it? WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?! | September 9th, 2010 |
| 44 | The Haunted Mansion (2003) | Film Brain and Braeden Orr take on yet another Eddie Murphy flop! | September 16th, 2010 |
| 45 | Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (2007) | You'd think a movie about pirates would be awesome wouldn't you? | September 23rd, 2010 |
| 46 | Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (Part Two) (2007) | Welshy returns to give his take on the third movie of this series! | September 30th, 2010 |
| 47 | Hudson Hawk (1991) | What happened, Bruce? You used to be cool. | October 7th, 2010 |
| 48 | Mega Pirahna (2010) | The Asylum returns with another fish tale gone wrong. | October 28th, 2010 |
| 49 | 10,000 B.C. (2008) | So...historically...inaccurate. | November 19th, 2010 |
| 50 | The Riddle (2007) | Riddle me this. Is this the season finale and 50th ep of BMB? ...Yes. | November 25th, 2010 |
| 51 | While She Was Out (2008) | It may be Christmas Eve, but cheer is definitely lacking... | December 23rd, 2010 |
| 52 | Money Train (1995) | Stop this crazy train, I want to get off! | December 30th, 2010 |
Season 3
| Episode Number | Name | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|
| 53 | Ultraviolet (2006) | Film Brain is back! And that only means one thing... Watch out, Kurt Wimmer! | March 3rd, 2011 |
| 54 | Moon 44 (1990) | Film Brain looks at an early film from Roland Emmerich. In space, no one can hear you snore | March 10th, 2011 |
| 55 | The Unborn (2009) | Jump scare! Jump scare! Jump scare! | March 24th, 2011 |
| 56 | Fat Slags (2004) | This is not an April Fools joke. This movie actually exists. | March 31st, 2011 |
| 57 | Pentathlon (1993) | Dolph Lundgren at the Olympics! He may have to settle for the Bronze. | April 7th, 2011 |
| 58 | Grown Ups (2010) | Film Brain looks at Sandler's latest slapstick outing. Grow up, Adam. | April 14th, 2011 |
| 59 | 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) | With the fifth movie coming, Film Brain tooks a look at the second in the series. | April 21st, 2011 |
| 60 | 2012 (Part One) (2009) | We're all doomed! It's a Roland Emmerich movie! | May 12th, 2011 |
| 61 | 2012 (Part Two) (2009) | It's the end of the world as we know it... and I feel dumb. | May 19th, 2011 |
| 62 | Bad Movie Beatdown: Sunday School Musical(2008) | The Asylum strikes back this time HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL... wait what? | June 02th, 2011 |
| 63 | Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Part 1) (2009) | In this special 2-part review, Film Brain rectifies an old mistake. | June 16th, 2011 |
| 64 | Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Part 2) (2009) | The 2-part review continues, as the film transforms itself into a complete mess. | June 23rd, 2011 |
| 65 | Out of Reach | They took Seagal's penpal... Now it's kinda impersonal! | June 30th, 2011 |
| 66 | Mercenary of Justice | Seagal Month continues as a confused Film Brain fights... for logic! | July 7th, 2011 |
| 67 | Shadow Man | Seagal month presses on...in the shadows! | July 14th, 2011 |
| 68 | Against the Dark | The vampire-zombies have taken over, and it's to Steven Seagal and The Rock's cousin to save us! | July 22nd, 2011 |
| 69 | Half Past Dead (2002) | Seagal Month concludes with Seagal locked up in Alcatraz. I say leave him there. | July 28th, 2011 |
| 70 | Half Past Dead 2 (2007) | Yes, they made a sequel. And it doesn't even have Steven Seagal. | August 4th, 2011 |
| 71 | The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) | Film Brain joins forces with Welshy to saw into this Michael Bay remake. | August 11th, 2011 |
| 72 | The Tourist (2010) | It's a bit like Charade! Except not as good. | August 25th, 2011 |
| 73 | Spy Kids 3D: Game Over (2003) | Ahead of it's time! As in the technology didn't work. | September 1st, 2011 |
| 74 | Gamer (2009) | Can someone mind-control Gerard Butler so he picks better scripts? | September 8th, 2011 |
| 75 | Good Luck Chuck (2007) | Dane Cook has sex. Lots of it. As if you didn't dislike him already. | September 15th, 2011 |
| 76 | Ghost Rider (2007) | Nicolas Cage sets his head (and career) on fire! | September 22nd, 2011 |
| 77 | When in Rome (2010) | Toss this rom-com crap to the lions. | September 29th, 2011 |
| 78 | Van Helsing (2004) | Hugh Jackman fights off all the monsters bar one... the script. | October 6th, 2011 |
| 79 | Bear | You'll be roaring with laughter at this awful horror film! | October 13th, 2011 |
| 80 | The Happening (2008) | It turns out that M. Night can't see the wood for the trees... | October 20th, 2011 |
| 81 | Diary of the Dead | Film Brain concludes his horror-themed month with a stiff from George A. Romero. | October 27th, 2011 |
| 82 | Reckoning Day | The last one... for now. Say farewell to the third season of Bad Movie Beatdown. | November 3rd, 2011 |
| 83 | Christmas Special: Little Fockers | Film Brain delivers the Christmas turkey, with the over-saturated stars being the stuffing. | December 22nd, 2011 |
| 84 | Review of 2011 | Film Brain tries to give a (almost definitive) look back at the films of 2011, including his best and worst of year. | January 7th, 2012 |
Season 4
| Episode Number | Name | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|
| 85 | Sucker Punch (2011) | Feminism takes two steps forward and nine somersaults back in Zac Snyder's misguided opus. Who would unleash such a horror on JO and Film Brain? | March 1st, 2012 |
| 86 | Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011) | Film Brain reviews a movie so bad, he's got back-up in the form of Rap Critic! | March 8th, 2012 |
| 87 | The Marine | Film Brain starts a season of movies starring wrestlers with a movie where John Cena is invincible because he's a marine and stuff. | March 15th, 2012 |
| 88 | The Condemned (2007) | 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin fights for his life as one of The Condemned - and so are the audience watching him, as Film Brain discovers. | March 22nd, 2012 |
| 89 | Wrong Side of Town | RVD and Batista head to the wrong side of direct-to-video action. | March 29th, 2012 |
| 90 | Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) | Wrestlemonthia continues on Bad Movie Beatdown, as Bill Goldberg co-stars in this Van Damme sequel. | April 12th, 2012 |
| 91 | Tooth Fairy (2010) | In a belated conclusion to Wrestlemonthia, Film Brain reviews a film starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson that's like pulling teeth. | April 28th, 2012 |
| 92 | Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009) | Todd and Film Brain re-team, but will their eardrums be able to handle it? | June 14th, 2012 |
| 93 | Scissors (1991) | Film Brain reviews this gonzo saga of talking birds, twin brothers and (naturally) scissors, starring Sharon Stone. | July 4th, 2012 |
| 94 | Going Overboard (1989) | Film Brain celebrates his 100th Bad Movie Beatdown episode by reviewing the atrocious debut of Adam Sandler, as his co-workers speak their minds about him! | July 21st, 2012 |
| 95 | The Dilemma (2011) | Film Brain finds out that infidelity isn't an easy thing to make funny. | July 26th, 2012 |
| 96 | One Night Stand (1997) | Film Brain concludes his "infidelity double" by kicking off Snipes Month at the same time! | August 2nd, 2012 |
| 97 | Blade Trinity (2004) | Snipes Month continues as Snipes sucks the life out of his own movie! | August 16th, 2012 |
| 98 | The Marksman (2005) | Film Brain paints a picture of this direct-to-video Wesley Snipes actioner, and it's not pretty. | August 23rd, 2012 |
| 99 | The Contractor (2007) | In this latest episode of Snipes Month, Wesley travels to what is supposedly London to meet a very odd little girl... | August 30th, 2012 |
| 100 | The Art of War II: Betrayal (2008) | Snipes Month (belatedly) concludes with a follow-up to one of Wesley's movies that no one wanted or cared about! | September 6th, 2012 |
| 101 | The Art of War III: Retribution (2009) | If you thought the sequel with Snipes was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet... | September 20th, 2012 |
| 102 | Batman Returns (1992) | The Bat. The Cat. The Penguin. The Brain. The Sage. Gang's all here for another Bad Movie Beatdown crossover! | September 27th, 2012 |
| 103 | Dead Men Don't Die (1990) | You know what's scarier than zombies? Racial stereotypes, as it turns out. | October 4th, 2012 |
| 104 | John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars (2001) | A film that proves that the red planet is cursed for both filmmakers and the audience. | October 11th, 2012 |
| 105 | Doomsday | Film Brain reviews a film that's like the best bits of other movies - and with only slightly more coherency. | October 25th, 2012 |
| 106 | The Cavern | Film Brain presents to you one of the worst films he has ever seen. Have a nice day. | November 1st, 2012 |
| 107 | Die Another Day | In this extended episode, Film Brain looks at the film that nearly killed James Bond where many supervillains couldn't. | November 9th, 2012 |
| 108 | xXx | Film Brain gets X-treme for this review of the Rob Cohen-directed Bond contender, with Vin Diesel as the world's least likely secret agent. | December 8th, 2012 |
| 109 | Stealth | Film Brain concludes his Rob Cohen double feature and the current season by looking at one of 2005's biggest flops - it's Short Circuit meets Top Gun! | December 19th, 2012 |
| 110 | Deck the Halls | Film Brain offers another Christmas turkey to be stuffed and carved, that shows the true festive spirit is materialism and sex jokes! | December 24th, 2012 |
| 111 | Review of 2012 | In this special episode, Film Brain takes a look at the cinematic year that's just passed and gives his best and worst of lists, plus much more! | January 12th, 2013 |
Season 5
| Episode Number | Name | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|
| 112 | Prometheus (Part 1) | Bad Movie Beatdown returns for a fifth season, kicking off with Film Brain looking at what he felt was last summer's biggest disappointment - an unfortunate trip back to the Alien franchise. | February 28th, 2013 |
| 113 | Prometheus (Part 2) | Film Brain concludes his two-part look at Ridley Scott's return to the Alien franchise, where things get much, much sillier... Plus the review in one part, if you have the fortitude. | March 7th, 2013 |
| 114 | Set Up | Film Brain and the Rap Critic re-team, this time looking at one of 50 Cent's direct-to-DVD efforts, that somehow gets a big star like Bruce Willis in it!? | March 14th, 2013 |
| 115 | Wes Craven Presents Don't Look Down | Hang on for laughs as Film Brain reviews a hilariously awful TV movie presented by horror icon Wes Craven, starring Twilight's Billy Burke (you know, Bella's dad). | March 21st, 2013 |
| 116 | I Love You, Beth Cooper | Film Brain reviews a creepy high school rom-com that seems to have been made by people who've only experienced it through John Hughes movies. | April 4th, 2013 |
| 117 | Shameful Sequel Smackdown (with MikeJ) - Nutty Professor II: The Klumps | Film Brain and MikeJ team for a huge crossover episode, with a super-sized portion of Eddie Murphy in many different fat suits... | April 11th, 2013 |
| 118 | Breaking Wind | What's worse than Twilight? A bad spoof of it, of course! Forget your Scary Movies and your Seltzerbergs, and stand back, because Film Brain is about to let rip. | April 18th, 2013 |
| 119 | Awake | Film Brain slices to the heart of this preposterous scare-mongering medical thriller, that stars the disastrous duo of Hayden Christensen and Jessica Alba. | May 4th, 2013 |
| 120 | Gone Fishin' | Film Brain reviews a Disney movie that almost was, a feeble comedy that gasps like a fish, featuring the dubious comic stylings of... Joe Pesci and Danny Glover? | May 9th, 2013 |
| 121 | The Hangover Part II | Film Brain reviews a movie that makes you wish for a night of heavy drinking to forget it - you already saw it anyway when it was called The Hangover. | May 30th, 2013 |
| 122 | Project X (2012) | Film Brain looks at a film set at the biggest party you've likely ever seen and offers a view of humanity that will make you want to hurl. | June 15th, 2013 |
| 123 | I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry | Kicking off a season of Happy Madison reviews, Film Brain looks at a comedy about gay marriage - that's unfortunately laced with homophobic, sexist and racist jokes... Oops. | July 4th, 2013 |
| 124 | Strange Wilderness | Film Brain continues his Happy Madison Month by wandering into a comedic wilderness that even certain substances won't be able to make you laugh at... | July 11th, 2013 |
| 125 | Just Go With It | Film Brain has to watch this dismal remake of a farce, that's more like watching Adam Sandler's Hawaiian vacation footage - glad he's having so much fun at least... | August 1st, 2013 |
| 126 | Jack & Jill | In the final episode in his season of Happy Madison reviews, Film Brain endures the film that not only multiples Adam Sandler by two, but the Razzies by ten. | August 14th, 2013 |
| 127 | The Alternate (AKA Agent of Death) | Is Eric Roberts, like Gerard Butler and Channing Tatum, a bad enough dude to save The President in this hilariously low-rent imitation of Die Hard? Film Brain finds out! | September 26th, 2013 |
| 128 | The Shepard | Mathew subjected Leo to the one of the worst films he had ever seen for a potential crossover and then didn't even review it - now it's payback time. Pray for them. | December 5th, 2013 |
| 129 | The Devil Inside | Film Brain wonders what on Earth possessed these filmmakers to think this ending was a good idea? Find out in the review the Vatican probably doesn't care about. | December 19th, 2013 |
| 130 | Review of 2013 | Film Brain takes you back through the cinematic year that was, from the good, the bad and the Bruce Willis, whilst also giving his picks for the best and worst of the year! | January 23rd, 2014 |
Season 6
| Episode Number | Name | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|
| 131 | Texas Chainsaw (with Welshy) | At MAGfest in 2013, Film Brain and Welshy went to see one of the year's most unintentionally hilarious movies. In 2014, they're re-teaming for payback... The buzz is back. | February 13th, 2014 |
| 132 | Total Recall (2012) | You got what you wanted, give these people Bad Movie Beatdown! Film Brain reviews and compares this empty remake of the Arnold classic - see you at the party! | March 12th, 2014 |
| 133 | This Means War | Who knew stalking and invasion of privacy could be so "romantic"? Film Brain goes deep undercover to review the action-rom-com that will probably make you go a bit paranoid... | March 27th, 2014 |
| 134 | Lawnmower Man 2 - Beyond Cyberspace | Film Brain is jacking into virtual reality to re-visit this infamously horrible sequel - but can even he uncover the meaning of what the flying doo-dah "Egypt" is? | June 14th, 2014 |
| 135 | The Love Guru | Film Brain finds there's no love lost when it comes to the movie that infamously ended Mike Myers' career - through pain, we can let the spiritual healing begin. | July 17th, 2014 |
| 136 | Killers (2010) (with Ursa) | Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl make a deadly duo in this tedious action rom-com, but can Film Brain and Ursa from Stuff You Like take them out? | October 2nd, 2014 |
| 137 | Special: New Year's Eve | In a holiday special, Film Brain takes on a film with eight different stories and a cast packed full of stars, all joined together by love on the titular day, that’s the cinematic equivalent of a tacky greetings card. | January 1st, 2015 |
| 138 | Review of 2014 | At long last, Film Brain gives a comprehensive look at the highs and lows of a year where studios super-sized their franchises, and gives his picks for the best and worst movies of the year | February 6th, 2015 |
Season 7
| Episode Number | Name | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|
| 139 | A Good Day to Die Hard | He’s promised it for a long time, and its finally here! Self-confessed Die Hard fan Film Brain takes a long look at the fifth film in the series, and not even Bruce Willis can be bothered any more. | June 29th, 2015 |
| 140 | Moonraker | Film Brain's attempting re-entry! He's following James Bond on one of his daftest adventures ever, with a gondola that can become a speedboat, space battles and a pigeon that does a double take! | December 18th, 2015 |
| 141 | Review of 2015 | Film Brain at last delivers his lengthy look back at the film world in 2015, including his best and worst of lists, an analysis of the award season, and lots more! | February 9th, 2016 |
Season 8
| Episode Number | Name | Description | Date Released |
|---|---|---|---|
| 142 | The Nutcracker in 3D: The Untold Story | Film Brain unwraps this big-budget version of Tchaikovsky's classic ballet that has next to no dancing in it, and this fairytale dream is the stuff of nightmares. | December 31st, 2016 |
| 143 | Leap Year | Film Brain saves the date for Amy Adams, as she hops over to a fantasy version of Ireland so absurd the Lucky Charms leprechaun wouldn't be out of place. | February 28th, 2017 |
| 144 | Best and Worst of 2016 | Film Brain takes a belated look at 2016's cinematic triumphs and failures, listing his favourite and most hated films from the year. | March 31st, 2017 |
Specials
On December 1st, 2009, the BMB team produced a special hosted by lordhebe.
- It'll Be Alright on the Bad Movie Night (December 1st, 2009)
Links