Brad and Jerrid Shit Their Pants (March 16, 2010)

[Opening titles are shown]

Jerrid: I miss having him around.

Brad: Oh please, he was a fucking douche! I was like, (does a douchey, hipster voice) “Um, you two watch Beavis and Butthead? I watch Darla. Now if you excuse me I need to get my scarf and head back to the coffee shop. (Makes an odd sound)” Auck! I fucking hated Dave!

Jerrid: Oh he wasn’t that bad.

[Brad sees something off screen that scares him]

Brad: Sweet mother fucking Mary!

Jerrid: What?

[Brad points off screen. Cut to a window of a house with a creepy painting of what appears to be a person]

Jerrid: Oh Jesus Christ!

Brad: I about shit my pants.

Jerrid: I think I did shit my pants. Either that or my ass has food poisoning.

Brad: What the fuck is that?

Jerrid: Is it the Virgin Mary?

Brad: I don’t think so; it could be some kind of art thing.

[Cut back to the painting but closer this time]

Jerrid (off screen): It’s kind of creepy looking.

Brad: Your ass just vomited special dark and you’re only kind of creeped out.

Jerrid: Okay, it’s freaking scary looking.

Brad: Who do you think lives there?

Jerrid: I have no fucking clue.

Brad: Maybe if we keep coming back whoever lives there will start leaving us gifts in their tree.

Jerrid: I bet we could get our friends drunk, bring them down here and convince them to worship it.

Brad: You mean like Dave?

Jerrid: Dave would just write a poem about it with his own tears.

Brad: See, there you go. Or what if it’s some kind of World War Two remembrance thing? Wouldn’t that make this whole thing kind of tasteless?

Jerrid: Well if that’s the case I’m already going to hell for shitting my pants in front of it.

Brad: You’re right. Okay, I’ll round up the other guys. You buy some booze.

Jerrid: Alright, let’s do this! Let’s start our own religion!

[Both laugh and run off.]


The End

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