Brad and Jerrid Shit Their Pants (March 16, 2010)
[Opening titles are shown]
Jerrid: I miss having him around.
Brad: Oh please, he was a fucking douche! I was like, (does a douchey, hipster voice) “Um, you two watch Beavis and Butthead? I watch Darla. Now if you excuse me I need to get my scarf and head back to the coffee shop. (Makes an odd sound)” Auck! I fucking hated Dave!
Jerrid: Oh he wasn’t that bad.
[Brad sees something off screen that scares him]
Brad: Sweet mother fucking Mary!
[Brad points off screen. Cut to a window of a house with a creepy painting of what appears to be a person]
Jerrid: Oh Jesus Christ!
Brad: I about shit my pants.
Jerrid: I think I did shit my pants. Either that or my ass has food poisoning.
Brad: What the fuck is that?
Jerrid: Is it the Virgin Mary?
Brad: I don’t think so; it could be some kind of art thing.
[Cut back to the painting but closer this time]
Jerrid (off screen): It’s kind of creepy looking.
Brad: Your ass just vomited special dark and you’re only kind of creeped out.
Jerrid: Okay, it’s freaking scary looking.
Brad: Who do you think lives there?
Jerrid: I have no fucking clue.
Brad: Maybe if we keep coming back whoever lives there will start leaving us gifts in their tree.
Jerrid: I bet we could get our friends drunk, bring them down here and convince them to worship it.
Brad: You mean like Dave?
Jerrid: Dave would just write a poem about it with his own tears.
Brad: See, there you go. Or what if it’s some kind of World War Two remembrance thing? Wouldn’t that make this whole thing kind of tasteless?
Jerrid: Well if that’s the case I’m already going to hell for shitting my pants in front of it.
Brad: You’re right. Okay, I’ll round up the other guys. You buy some booze.
Jerrid: Alright, let’s do this! Let’s start our own religion!
[Both laugh and run off.]