October 20th, 2009
Nostalgic Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don't have to! And welcome to this special Halloween episode. We're gonna look at something really scary: ghosts!
Pictures of ghosts from various movies are shown
NC (voiceover): Creepy, spooky, terrifying, bone-chilling, friendly, big-eyed, round-faced, happiest little dick you've ever seen in your..
NC: Wait a minute. That't Casper! He's not scary! He just sucks! Come on! Let's see some really scary ghosts.
Animated Casper who is wearing a deep frown emerges out of the wall.
NC's Casper: Oh, yeah?
NC: Oh, hey! It's Casper! Hey, Casper. How're you doing...?
Casper punches NC in the face as he flies.
NC's Casper: I'm not friendly all the time, dipshit!
NC: Casper, did you, did you just punched me?
NC's Casper: No... This is punching!
Casper punches NC more in the face.
NC: Casper, why are you being so cruel?
NC's Casper: I'm tired of being a friendly ghost, never being able to scare anybody. I figured the only way to truly scare people is to force them to watch my only cinematic release, Casper!
Footage of Casper
NC (voiceover): Yeah. But to be fair, the only reason that this movie is scary is because it's so bad. It has dozen pointless cameos, dozen pointless plotlines, and dozen pointless puns!
NC's Casper: Hey, you wanna scary movie this Halloween? This is what you get!
NC: Alright. Well, let's take a look at Casper.
Casper starts his evil laugh. Lightening strikes and thunder rolls. NC glares at him with a very strange look. Casper stops to laugh.
NC's Casper: Fuck you.
NC (voiceover): So we start off from what it looks like Willy Wonka's factory as two kids run in and try to get a picture inside.
Boy 1: Shut up and take the picture!
Boy 2: You take the picture!
Boy 1: You take it!
Boy 2: You!
Casper: Guys, guys! Don't fight. I'll take the picture.
Boys rushes out of the mansion with fear, screaming.
NC (voiceover): Run! It's the industrialized magic table scraps!
Title card of Casper emerges.
NC (voiceover): We then cut to something truly terrifying in this movie: Ben Stein. Aaaaah!
Ben Stein: To the Save The Pumas Foundation: $1.2 million dollars.
NC: You know I find it ironic that guy who is a creationist in the movie about ghosts.
Ben Stein: Let's see. Bobcats, owls...
NC's Casper: Bueller? Bueller?
NC glares at Casper.
NC's Casper: Fuck you.
NC (voiceover): He's reading off the fact that the woman named Carrigan, played by Cathy Moriarty has just inherited a haunted house we saw just a few moments earlier. She's joined by her own personal Eric Idle!
Dibs (Eric Idle): Sudden death of her only father has left a great gaping void.
NC (mimicking Idle): Hello! I'm waiting towed to be in this picture!
NC (voiceover): So through a kind of secret message they figure out some sort of treasure buried in the house. And thus they go inside to investigate.
Carrigan: What a dump.
Dibs: It's a bit spooky.
Dibs's got a fire in his hand while lighting the lighter.
Dibs spots the fire and tries to put out the fire while screaming awkwardly.
NC is frowning.
NC: That's not funny.
NC's Casper: Oh, please! You' wouldn't know what funny is!
NC: Oh, all right. I think I would.
NC's Casper: Oh please! Do you know the pure essence of all comedy is?
NC (voiceover): So they go into the house and suddenly greeted by-
NC's Casper: Timing!
NC (voiceover): When they are suddenly greeted by a stranger. Can you guess who this is?
Casper: Hi! I'm Casper!
Dibs and Carrigan screams.
Casper: You shouldn't do that or you'll wake up... (rumbling) Too late. Howling, muttering and schrieking can be heard as we see three ghosts starting to appear by forming a tonado.
NC: Great! You opend the Pixar hell. I hope you're happy.
Carrigan and Dibs keep screaming. A scene of a scary figure approaching is shown briefly.
Scary figure: I am to play.
NC (voiceover): So they hire some professional to go in and take a look at the place. Here's cameo #3!
Father Guido Sarducci (played by Don Novello): Not, you know, like, exactly doin' it. But I've studied it.
NC (voiceover): And here's cameo #4.
Dr. Raymond Stantz played by Dan Aykroyd from Ghostbusters franchise rushes out of the haunted mansion with his proton pack.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Who you gonna call? Someone else.
NC: Oh. Come on! You coudn't even get Dan Aykroyed to shave his mustache?
NC's Casper: Well, he was just lucky by that said.. yeah, we decided to throw him in the movie. In fact you can see him smiling because we're literally waving the check for him offscreen! He just grabbed it right after saying his line!
NC: Just tell me that's the last shameful cameo we see-
Casper starts to laught evil.
NC: Ok. Moving on!
NC (voiceover): So they hire a who can apparantly comunicate with ghosts and his name's Harvey, played by Bill Pullman. He travels with his daughter played by Christina Ricci named Kathleen, also known as...
Vanilla Ice: Kat!
NC and Casper frown and groan.
Kat: You're the one who's been packing up my stuff and moving me around the country. I mean, in two years, I have been to nine different schools.
Harvey: You sound like your mother.
Kat: You're not gonna find her. Mom's not a ghost, Dad.
The Critic (and the animated Casper) sing "Exposition, exposition! Rush it out ASAP!" over Beethoven's Ode to Joy.
NC (voiceover): So they leave town once again to live in the haunted house. Is it me or does this whole scene look like TV commercial for Friendship, Maine?
The scene of Kat and her father going to Friendship plays as commercial music can be heard. Cirtic' s voice is heard in a voiceover speaking as if he's in a commercial.
NC (voiceover): Tired of Traveling? Wanna leave your problem behind? Your wife is dead and so spend rest of your life tracking down her soul and pulling your own poor daughter with you around while scarring her for life? Come to Friendship, Maine. Oddly enough, we've been waiting for you.
Carrigan: Dr. Harvey, hello. I'm Carrigan Crittenden. And this is Dibs.
Harvey: And this is my daughter, Kat.
Carrigan (grabbing Kat's shoulder): How nice to meet you, Kat.
Dibs: Very nice to meet you.
Carrigan grabs Kat's chin and take a closer look. NC casts suspicious look.
Carrigan: You have a beautiful daughter, Dr. Harvey
Dibs and Carrigan keep looking at Kat while her chin is still grabbed by Carrigan. They move her chin from Carrigan to Dibs back and forth.
Dibs: Very beautiful.
Carrigan: I can't tell you how happy we are you could come all the way to Whipstaff.
Dibs: Very happy.
Carrigan: The both of us.
NC calls 911. Siren can be heard while we see red flickering words that say: Keep it PG; Possibly step away from the child; BAD TOUCH?; and Do you have a record?
NC (To the phone): Nothing serious yet, but keep an eye on.
Carrigan: Tell me you go in the house and spray and that's it.
Harvey: No, no, no. As with a traditional psychological cure, it can take weeks or years for...
Carrigan: Years? Forget it! This is for you!
Dibs: Have a lovely night.
NC (mimicking Idle): I forgot to pack my funny!
NC (voiceover): So they decide to go in Tim Burton's hilltop as they look around to find a place to rest.
Kat: Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie? Wonder where Doc and Dopey sleep.
NC: Ok. Is she taking Jeanine Garofalo lessons?
Casper: There's a girl... on my bed. Yes!
NC: (imitating Casper) Time to grow some genatalia!
NC (voiceover): But the first encounter is not the best one.
Casper: Uh... Hi?
NC's Casper: Hey! It's the same reaction you get when you say hi to a girl!
NC: Hey, you know what? Shut the hell up.
Animated Casper slaps NC in the face. In return NC throws an object to Casper.
Harvey: What are you saying?
Kat: I saw a ghost. It had a head, and it was round, and it was white and see-through.
NC: Are you positive that you didn't look into your reflection?
Harvey: See? No ghost there.
Harvey opens a closet and Casper is inside.
Harvey: There. See?
Harvey slowly realizes that there is a ghost inside.
Casper: Pleasure to meet you, sir.
Harvey nods nervously.
Harvey screams awkwardly.
NC (mimicking Pullman): I'm actiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
NC (voiceover): But before Casper can explain, his ghostly uncles return back home.
Casper: Hey, guys. Have fun?
Stretch: Those ponies run faster when we go down to Belmont.
Fatso: Here, Flicka. Bleaaugh!
Three ghosts scare Harvey. As Harvey faints, three ghosts goes inside him through his mouth.
Fatso: Dive! Huh?
NC (voiceover, mimicking Stinkie): Ew! His colon is disgusting!
NC (voiceover, mimicking Fatso): What the hell did this guy eat?
NC (voiceover): And we partake in.. that's right! another pointless cameo.
Harvey washes his face and looks into mirror. His face turns into Clint Eastwood's.
Clint Eastwood: I'm gonna kill you...
NC (mimicking Eastwood): There. I did it. You happy?
Harvey's face chnages again to Rodney Dangerfield's.
Rodney Dangerfield: You think YOU got it tough? I got a facelift! And there's one that looks just like it underneath!
NC (mimicking Dangerfield): Hey! I ironic thing is I really am dead!
The face turns again into Mel Gibson's. The Mel-Gibson-face-Harvey looks into mirror proudly.
NC: Why, that's the most attractive religious anti-semitic sadist I've ever seen!
The face lastly turns into a horrible skull. The Skull-face-Harvey screams.
NC: Larry King, no!
Harvey's face turns back to his normal and the three ghosts start to chase and tease Harvey around.
NC: Geez. Isn't there anyway to make this scene even more pointless? Or how about dialogue comprised of nothing but puns?
Fatso (locking Harvey): We got a closet case here!
Stinkie (shooting his bad breath to Harvey): Smell-o-gram!
Stretch (rolling harvey down the stairs): California roll!
Fatso (holding sticks to attack Harvey): Anybody for a little shish ka-doc?
The 'ice' pun of Mr. Freeze from Batman & Robin is shown briefly.
Mr. Freeze: Kick some ice! Chill! Cool party! Stay cool!
NC: Ok. Those last couple were from Batman & Robin. But seriously, could you tell the difference?
Harvey points the end of vacuum cleaner to the three ghosts.
Stinkie: Get back!
Stretch: What the hell is that thing?
NC (mimicking Stretch): Yeah! We got to get that damn PG rating somehow!
Harvey sucks three ghosts into the vacuum cleaner but Fatso's head is stuck for a while.
NC: Wait. "This Sucks!"?
Fatso: This Sucks!
NC: I really fucking hate you.
NC: What now? Wait a minute. You can fly through walls but not though simple vacuum bags? How the hell does that work?
NC's Casper: Don't ever question this movie's logic again!
NC tries to grab Casper but his hands just go through him. Casper laughs and punches him.
The movie then cuts to a shot of the mansion on a cliff, followed by a voice that says, "Welcome to Castlevania!"
NC (voiceover): So they wake up and find Casper's there waiting. Only this time, they actually tries to communicate with him.
Kat: What are you made of?
Casper: Well, you know that tingling feeling when your foot falls asleep? I think I'm made of that.
NC is surprised. He casts suspicious look at Casper.
NC's Casper: God, I don't know what I was smoking to say that.
An egg-frying cooking machine is shown.
NC (voiceover): Ah. This is totally original! We haven't seen this in the movie yet! Except for Back to the Future, Chiti Chiti Bang Bang, Brazil, Pee Wee's big adventure, and several Wile E. Coyote cartoons. But aside from that, totally original!
NC (voiceover): Unfortunately, the three douches come in with more of their unpredictable pop cultural reference.
Ghostly Trio Humming "The Ride of The Valkyries"
Three ghosts: Da, da-da-da, da. Da, da-da-da, da. Da, da-da-da, da. Da, da-da-da, da!
Fatso: I feel like Oprah on hiatus.
Stretch: You look like Oprah on hiatus.
NC: Oprah! 'cause... She's famous, right? I'm sure we got some Britney Spears joke coming up too!
Kat: What's your problem? He's just cleaning the floor.
Stretch: Shut up, skinbag.
Kat: Piss off.
NC: Hey! This movie is edgy!
NC (voiceover): So Kat starts her first day at school and finds that she has a hard time fitting in.
School teacher: Why don't you tell us something special about yourself.
Kat: Um, well, it's Kat.
A girl meows. The kids laugh.
NC: Ha ha! She meowed like a cat her name is Kat! Funny. Ha!
NC's Casper: Timing!
Kat: And, um, I guess I just moved here.
The girl who meowed now glares at Kat.
NC (mimicking the girl): Moved here. I can't believe she said that.
Kat: And Friendship seems like a pretty friendly place.
NC (voiceover): But it turns out it's ok. Because she can host the school Halloween party at her house because school is supposedly to be ran out of room. And I guess she sort of forgot about that whole being haunted thing. On top of that, it also turns out one of the boys wants to ask her out.
As the boy talks to Kat, Casper mocks his motion right behind him.
The Boy: So, listen, if you're not hooked up with anybody else, you wanna... I don't know... hang out with me at the party?
Kat: I'd love to.
The <Imperical March> theme from Star Wars soundtrack can be heard as it turns out the girl who teased Kat is planning something evil with the boy.
The girl: Well, did you ask her?
The boy: Yeah.
The girl: And she actually believed you?
The boy: This really bites.
The girl: No, it's absolutely perfect.
NC (voiceover): I can't wait for this plot device to make main returns in the film a lot.
NC's Casper: Timing!
NC (voiceover): So Casper gets a tad jealous and decides to spend the time with Kat. Forming, I guess a strong bond.
Casper: If I were alive, would you go to the Halloween dance with me?
Casper: Can I keep you?
NC: Hi! That's not creepy!
NC (voiceover): I mean, I know that's supposed be a charming scene but it's not. It's creepy. Even the looks when he says is a little bit disturbing. I mean, listen to him in slow motion and tell me you don't get the chill.
The same scene is played in slow motion.
Casper: Can I keep you?
NC: Ew! Creepy!
NC (voiceover): So after being given a kiss of death, Kat tries to figure out what to wear for Halloween.
Harvey: Don't worry. You always look cute.
Kat: I don't wanna look cute. Cute's like when you're nine years old and you've got papier-mache around your head. I want to look...
NC (mimicking Kat): Slutty! Like every other female on Halloween! (whispering) Which I have no problem with... no...
Harvey: Honey, I think maybe it's time that we sat down and...
Kat: It's a little late for that, Dad.
Harvey: How late?
Kat: Oh, don't worry. Not that late.
NC (mimicking Kat): I already had the abortion.
Animated Casper is shocked by NC's joke. He stares at the Critic for a few seconds without a word.
NC: Ok. That's a little bit disturbing...
NC's Casper: Wow.
NC: Ok. Ok. Just a little bit dark humor...
NC's Casper: WOW!
NC: Ok! Ok! Just move on!
NC's Casper: You sicken me!
NC (voiceover); Meanwhile, Mr. Harvey continues to try to communicate with three ghosts.
Three ghosts mocks Harvey.
Stretch (German accent): Vell, vell, ze patient has finally arrived.
Stinkie: Late again, I see.
Stretch: Could this be an expression of hostility, Doc?
Stinkie: Come on, Doc. Stay tough. Don't stop.
Stinkie: It ain't often we meet a bonebag as amusin' as you.
NC (singing in very high pitched voice and dancing): 'Cause this is filler! Filling up the time! An hour and a half is just too long for uncreative minds! Whoo! Whooo!
NC (voiceover): So while looking through the attic Casper just so happens to find a dress for Kat.
Casper: It was my mom's.
NC: And fortunately she has the exact same size with the twelve year old girl!
Kat: Casper, it's perfect.
NC (voiceover): I guess! If you like looking like grandma. Meanwhile, Casper finds an old sled. And the memories of the past starts to return to him.
Casper: I took it out, went sledding all day, and my dad said, "That's enough," but I couldn't stop. I was having so much fun.
The scene overlaps with Kane saying 'Rosebud' in Citizen Kane.
Casper: And I got sick. My dad got sad.
NC: I still don't know. I always thought Casper was the ghost of Charlie Brown. Get a round head, big mouth, and probably died of cancer to explain the hair loss. But the sled story is good too.
NC (voiceover): So it turns out his father was working on machine to bring people back to life, I'm dead serious as Kat thinks maybe they can find it and get to work!
Capser: I would hold on.
Casper pulls a switch. The chair starts to move all by itself while carrying Kat.
NC: Ah. Chair operated by the Zuul dogs.
The scene of Kat carried by her chair overlaps with the scene of Dana being kidnapped by Zuul dogs from Ghostbusters, to make seem that Kat is kidnapped by Zuul.
NC (voiceover): ZUUL, MOTHERFUCKER, ZUUUUUL!
NC (voiceover); So they find his father's laboratory and tries to see if they can locate the machine.
Kat pushes a button as a machine emerges out of the water.
NC (voiceover): Hey! It's just like Mist. Now I just have to play four hours of bring puzzle!
Kat: What is this?
Casper: Careful! It's what brings ghosts back to life.
NC (voiceover): So, yeah! Casper's father has much pretty much created a god as they try bring Casper back to life. But then even lame and lamer pop out. (Dibs and Carrigan) Yeah. Remember them? They're still in the movie too. And they just so happen to find that the vault with the treasure is in the same place. So they steal the potion from them so that one of them can die, get into the vault and get resurrected. Carrigan accidentally kicks the ass as she brings herself back in ghost form.
Carrigan: Not so fast, little man. The bitch is back!
NC: Boy, Casper. You movie has a potty mouth.
NC's Casper: Of course! We' aimed for the adult audience!
NC: Yeah. But just saying swear words and random pop cultural references doesn't make it adult humor. If anything, it makes it more childlish!
NC's Casper: So how about that damn David Letterman, huh?
NC (voiceover): So Carrigan turns into a ghost, she gets the treasure from the vault, the guests arrive the evil boy and girl try set up a frame, the father is getting drunk with other ghosts and Eric Idle tries to get the potion back from Kat. This movie juggles pointless story lines than Star Wars prequel.
Carrigan: Hey, "poppin' fresh," it's my turn in the oven. Dibs! Get this thing cooking, you blasted little worm you!
NC's Casper: Hey, her speaking voice turned into the Nostalgia Critic's!
NC tries to catch Casper but his hands just go through him.
Casper: Suck it! Suck it! Suck it! Suck it! Suck it! Suck it! Suck it!
Dibs: Sorry, sweetheart. We're through.
Carrigan: (Gasps) I am not gonna forget this, you ungrateful, lousy little worm you.
Dibs: I got the power. I got the treasure.
He-Man: I have the Power!
Carrigan: And you have a flight to catch.
Carrigan throws Dibs out of the window.
NC (mimicking Idle): My only regret to Shrek 3!
Casper: But aren't you forgetting something?
Casper: Your unfinished business.
Carrigan: I have my treasure, my mansion. I have everything. I'm just perfect.
Carrigan starts to destroyed.
Carrigan: Wait! I lied!
Carrigan blasts into pieces and disappears.
NC: Oh! I guess God heard her. You think he was keeping his ear out?
Casper: My treasure!
Kat: A ball? That's your treasure?
Casper: Are you kidding? It's autographed by Duke Snyder, the Brooklyn Dodgers.
NC (voiceover): Really? You wasted the whole entire plot point just for that? If I was actually interested in this movie, I'd be so disappointed.
NC's Casper: Timing!
NC (voiceover): And speaking of dead plot threads, here another one pops out to show it's ugly dead-end. It appears Kat's father fell down a cliff and turned into a ghost himself. Which of course means they're gonna use the machine to bring him back instead.
Harvey: Oh, sweetheart. Oh, what have I done?
NC: Ok. Here's a question for ya, Casper! How come half of the ghosts in this movie have hair and clothes yet the other don't? You don't even have nostrils! How the hell can you smell anything?
NC's Casper: You know what I smell?
NC's Casper: A great big pile of... shut the hell UP!
Casper: This is the way it's gotta be.
NC (voiceover): Well, you give that liquid to a scientist so he can figure out what goes in it and maybe duplicate.. ok. We need a climax.
Harvey comes back from the dead by the machine.
Harvey: Oh, Kat! Bucket..
NC: Did he just say 'Bucket'?
NC (mimicking Harvey hugging Kat): Oh... Paperweight.
NC (voiceover): So while they enjoy the reunion the bad boy and the bad girl try to put together a bag that... to be honest, I really don't follow.
Bad girl: People are gonna freak.
Bad boy: Let me see. Cool.
NC: We're gonna be wearing a costume!
Three ghosts emerges out of bad boy and bad girl.
Three ghosts: Thank you!
The boy and the girl scream and run out of the house. People clap as they see it.
NC: Yay! Random phase! Go on. Use a bunch of jump like from the ceiling but he can always win.
A clip from Next Karate Kid is shown.
NC (voiceover): So to throw a last minute cliche Kat's mother appears in hellish red colors as a guardian angel who gives Casper to get to life one more time so he can dance with Kat. So she's not really a guardian angel as much as a fucking Blue Fairy.
Casper: I told you I was a good dancer. (Whispering) Can I keep you?
NC: You know, somehow I thought him saying that not being dead would make it a little less creepy. It doesn't.
NC (voiceover): So the mother also makes an appearance to her husband so she can finally say goodbye.
Mother: You and Kat loved me so well when I was alive that I have no unfinished business.
NC (voiceover): You know I have to give credit to God. This is very nice of him. Breaking the laws of life and death so two mildly depressed people can have a rock in Halloween party? What a nice guy. Also is it me or waving her arms everytime when she enters and leaves? What is she, a duck?
Kat and Casper kiss as Casper slowly turn into ghost back again.
NC: No! I haven't got into the first base! I haven't even got to bat!
All the people are frozen with fear.
Everyone rushes out of the masion screaming.
Kat: Not bad for my first party, huh?
Casper: Couldn't have been better.
Harvey: It ain't over yet. Boys!
Three ghosts appear in weird rock star outfits,
NC: We got... Leopard skin prison impersonators!
Everyone dances happily to the Casper song. The movie ends.
NC (voiceover): So that's Casper the movie. And I have to admit the story about ghosts seems like a relatively soloist movie. I mean there isn't much to it.
NC's Casper: But wasn't it scary?
NC's Casper: Well. Wasn't so bad it was scary?
NC: Actually it wasn't even that.
Footage of Casper
NC (voiceover): I mean granted it is a bad movie but there's nowhere near terrible. The sets are kind of creative, the CGI is fun, even though it doesn't really work you can tell that creators were at least trying to create something good. There was actual effort put onto it.
Animated Casper looks confused while NC talks.
NC: It's kind of like Ninja Turtles movie. It's not really good but could have been hell of a lot worse. Especially considering the subject matter. So, I'd give credit for at least trying.
Casper; That's it! I'm tired of leaving no lasting impact on the creative media. But I will leave a lasting impact on your balls!
Casper attacks NC who yells in pain. He tries to catch Casper but his hands just go through it.
NC's Casper: Ha, ha! You can't get me!
NC runs out of the screen.
NC's Casper: That's right. Run away! Flee from the friendly ghost! Ha, ha, ha!
Casper stops laughing as he hears a noise. The opening of Ghostbusters theme song can be heard as the Critic in Ghostbusters outfit walks out of the wardrobe. He points his proton pack shooter and fires towards Casper. Casper screams and flies out of the house. NC chases after him
NC tries to fire again but his proton pack doesn't work temporarily. He examines the pointer close to his face. Beam blasts out of the pointer. NC yells and runs after Casper again. We get a wide shot of the street where Critic lives as Casper runs away from NC.
Casper flies into a hotel. NC also enters the building through doors. He is lost for a while.
NC: Where the hell am I?
A voice: Geek Media Expo!
NC: What a devilish devil! CASPER!
NC runs through the hotel.
NC (to janitor): Have you seen Casper? Little ghost? Friendly? Has a huge upper cut?
Janitor smiles and walks away without a word. NC approaches a man who is carrying a little girl on his back.
NC (to the man): Did you see Casper? Little ghost? You seen him? Anywhere? Anywhere? You seen him anywhere? (To girl) You're adorable! (To camera) Let's go!
NC sees Casper entering a room.
NC: There he is! There he is!
NC rushes into the room which is full cosplayers.
NC: Have you seen Casper? I'm looking for Casper!
A man: Went that way!
NC: There he is! CASPER!
NC shoots toward Casper must misses. Everyone in the room cheers an shouts.
NC (To girls cosplaying Harley and Joker): Go get him, Harley! Smash him! Smash him with the hammer!
Harley: I can't see him!
NC: It's above that woman!
NC shoots again but misses again. Casper rushes into one of the man in the room.
NC: He went into him! I will not let you take him!
The man goes into fit. NC shoots again and get Casper out of the man. Woman cosplaying Joker in nurse outfit restrains the man. Casper disappears while everybody laughes. NC spots a man who is cosplaying Bum.
NC: Who are you? Have I met you before?
Fake Bum: Change?
NC: Get out of the way, man!
A man: He's in that guy's coat!
Casper flies out of a man's coat.
NC: He went to the door! Come on! Come on, people!
People in the room rushes out with Critic to help him with catching Casper.
NC: There he is!
NC and the cosplaying crowd try to enter indoor swimming pool in which Casper went.
NC: He lock the gate! Casper locked the gate!
A man: There is another door!
NC finally enters the swimming pool. Casper is frowing with anger. Just as NC tries to shoot Casper...
NC: I'm out of power! He's fucking me! Casper is fucking me!
NC puts off his hat and Ghostbusters gear.
NC jumps into the swimming pool while grabbing Casper to the water. Everyone shouts, cheers and claps. NC emerges out of the water.
NC: He melted! He melted away!
NC steps out of the pool.
NC: I have defeated. I have defeated the evil ghost. Hug me!
As NC spreads out his arms, a girl cosplaying Joker pushes NC in the chest a little bit thus causing NC to dive into the pool again. People clap and cheer again. The Joker gives thumbs up for NC's diving. NC walks out of the pool again and lies down.
NC: I think I need a CPI. No! No!
Harley beats NC in the chest with her balloon hammer.
After the credits, we see NC who is soaking wet walking towards the exit. People stare at him curiously.
NC: Don't ask.