October 20th, 2009
Nostalgic Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don't have to! And welcome to this special Halloween episode, where we're gonna look at something really scary: ghosts!
Pictures of ghosts from movies such as the Jackal from Thir13en Ghosts and a ghost of a young girl from Ghost Whisperer are shown.
NC (voiceover): Creepy, spooky, terrifying, bone-chilling, (picture of Casper is shown) friendly, big-eyed, round-faced, happiest little dimples you've ever seen in your...
NC: Wait a minute. That's Casper! He's not scary! He just sucks! Come on! Let's see some really scary ghosts.
Animated Casper who is wearing a deep frown emerges out of the wall.
NC's Casper: Oh, yeah?
NC: Oh, hey! It's Casper! Hey, Casper. How're you doing...?
Casper punches NC in the face as he flies.
NC's Casper: I'm not friendly all the time, dipshit!
NC: Casper, did you, did you just punch me?
NC's Casper: No... This is punching!
Casper punches NC more in the face.
NC: Casper, why are you being so cruel?
NC's Casper: I'm tired of being a friendly ghost, never being able to scare anybody. I figured the only way to truly scare people is to force them to watch my only cinematic release, Casper!
Footage of Casper is shown.
NC (voiceover): Yeah. But to be fair, the only reason that this movie is scary is because it's so bad. It has dozen pointless cameos, dozen pointless plotlines, and dozen pointless puns!
NC's Casper: Hey, you want a scary movie this Halloween? This is what you get!
NC: Alright. Well, let's take a look at Casper.
Casper starts his evil laugh. Lightning strikes and thunder rolls. NC glares at him with a very strange look. Casper stops to laugh.
NC's Casper: Fuck you.
NC (voiceover): So we start off from what looks like Willy Wonka's brothel (Whipstaff Manor) as two kids run in and try to get a picture inside.
Boy 1: Shut up and take the picture!
Boy 2: You take the picture!
Boy 1: You take it!
Boy 2: You!
Casper: Guys, guys! Don't fight. I'll take the picture.
Boys run out of the mansion with fear, screaming.
NC (voiceover): Run! It's Industrial Light & Magic's table scraps!
Title card of Casper emerges.
NC (voiceover): We then cut to something truly terrifying in this movie: Ben Stein. Aaaaah!
Ben Stein: To the Save the Pumas Foundation: $1.2 million dollars.
NC: You know, I find it ironic that guy who believes in creation is in a movie about ghosts.
Ben Stein: Let's see. Bobcats, owls...
NC's Casper: BOOller (Bueller)? BOOller?
NC glares at Casper.
NC's Casper: Fuck you.
NC (voiceover): He's reading off the fact that the woman named Carrigan, played by Cathy Moriarty, has just inherited a haunted house we saw just a few moments earlier. She's joined by her own personal Eric Idle!
Dibs (Eric Idle): The sudden death of her only father has left a great gaping void.
NC (mimicking Idle): Hello! I'm way too talented to be in this picture!
NC (voiceover): So through a kind of secret message, they figure out there's some sort of treasure buried in the house. And thus they go inside to investigate.
Carrigan: What a dump.
Dibs: It's a bit spooky.
Dibs got a fire in his hand while lighting the lighter.
Dibs spots the fire and tries to put out the fire while screaming awkwardly.
NC is frowning.
NC: That's not funny.
NC's Casper: Oh, please! You wouldn't know what funny is!
NC: No. I think I would.
NC's Casper: Oh please! Do you know the pure essence of all comedy is?
NC just stares at Casper.
NC (voiceover): So they go into the house and suddenly greeted by--
NC's Casper: Timing!
NC (voiceover): When they are suddenly greeted by a stranger. Take you guess who this is.
Casper: Hi! I'm Casper!
Dibs and Carrigan scream.
Casper: You shouldn't do that or you'll wake up... (rumbling) Too late.
Howling, muttering and shrieking can be heard as we see three ghosts starting to appear by forming a tornado.
NC: Great! You opened the pits of Hell. I hope you're happy.
Carrigan and Dibs keep screaming. A scene of Pinhead from Hellraiser approaching is shown briefly.
Pinhead: Time to play.
NC (voiceover): So they hire some professionals to go in and take a look at the place. Here's cameo #3!
Father Guido Sarducci (played by Don Novello): I've a bit of experience. Not, you know, like, exactly doin' it. But I've studied it.
NC (voiceover): And here's cameo #4.
Dr. Raymond Stantz, played by Dan Aykroyd from Ghostbusters franchise, rushes out of the haunted mansion with his proton pack.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Who you gonna call? Someone else.
NC: Oh. Come on! You couldn't even get Dan Aykroyd to shave his mustache?
NC's Casper: Well, he was just walking by the set and yeah, we decided to throw him in the movie. In fact, you can see him smiling because we're literally waving the check in front of him offscreen! He just grabbed it right after he said his line!
NC: Just tell me that's the last shameful cameo we see--
Casper laughs evilly.
NC: (annoyed) Ok, moving on.
NC (voiceover): So they hire a guy who can apparently communicate with ghosts named James Harvey, played by Bill Pullman. He travels with his daughter played by Christina Ricci named Kathy, also known as...
Vanilla Ice: Kat!
NC and Casper frown and groan.
Kat: You're the one who's been packing up my stuff and moving me around the country. I mean, in two years, I have been to nine different schools.
Harvey: You sound like your mother.
Kat: You're not gonna find her. Mom's not a ghost, Dad.
The Critic (and the animated Casper) sing "Exposition, exposition! Rush it out ASAP!" over Beethoven's Ode to Joy.
NC (voiceover): So they leave town once again to live in the haunted house. Is it me or does this whole scene look like TV commercial for Friendship, Maine?
The scene of Kat and her father going to Friendship plays as commercial music can be heard. Critic's voice is heard in a voiceover speaking as if he's in a commercial.
NC (voiceover): Tired of traveling? Wanna leave your problem behind? Your wife is dead and so spend rest of your life tracking down her soul and pulling your own poor daughter with you around while scarring her for life? Come to Friendship, Maine. Oddly enough, we've been waiting for you.
Carrigan: Dr. Harvey, hello. I'm Carrigan Crittenden and this is Dibs.
Harvey: And this is my daughter, Kat.
Carrigan (grabbing Kat's shoulder): How nice to meet you, Kat.
Dibs: Very nice to meet you.
Carrigan grabs Kat's chin and take a closer look. NC casts a suspicious look.
Carrigan: You have a beautiful daughter, Dr. Harvey.
Dibs and Carrigan keep looking at Kat while her chin is still grabbed by Carrigan. They move her chin from Carrigan to Dibs back and forth.
Dibs: Very beautiful.
Carrigan: I can't tell you how happy we are you could come all the way to Whipstaff.
Dibs: Very happy.
Carrigan: The both of us.
NC calls 911. Siren can be heard while we see red flickering words that say: Keep it PG; Possibly step away from the child; BAD TOUCH?; and Do you have a record?
NC (To the phone): Nothing serious yet, but keep an eye on it.
Carrigan: Tell me you go in the house and spray and that's it.
Harvey: No, no, no. As with a traditional psychological cure, it can take weeks or even years for...
Carrigan: Years? Forget it! These are for you!
Carrigan hands him a vase of flowers.
Dibs: Have a lovely night.
NC (mimicking Idle): I forgot to pack my funny!
NC (voiceover): So they decide to go in Tim Burton's hilltop as they look around to find a place to rest.
Kat: (reading the names carved into the wood on the beds) Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie? Wonder where Doc and Dopey sleep.
NC: Ok. Is she taking Janeane Garofalo lessons?
Casper: There's a girl... on my bed. Yes!
NC: (imitating Casper) Time to grow some genitalia!
NC (voiceover): But the first encounter is not the best one.
Casper: Uh... Hi?
NC's Casper: Hey! It's the same reaction you get when you say hi to a girl!
NC: Hey, you know what? Shut the hell up.
Animated Casper slaps NC in the face. In return NC throws something at Casper, knocking him away.
Harvey: What are you saying?
Kat: I saw a ghost. It had a head, and it was round, and it was white and see-through.
NC: Are you positive that you didn't just look into a reflection?
Harvey: See? No ghost there.
Harvey opens the bathroom door and Casper is inside, but Harvey doesn't look long enough to see him.
Harvey: There. See?
Harvey slowly realizes that there is a ghost inside.
Casper: (extending his hand) Pleasure to meet you, sir.
Harvey nods nervously.
Harvey screams awkwardly.
NC (mimicking Pullman): I'm actiiiiiiiiiing!
NC (voiceover): But before Casper can explain, his ghostly uncles return back home.
Casper: Hey, guys. Have fun?
Stretch: Those ponies run faster when we go down to Belmont.
Fatso: Here, Flicka. Bleaaugh!
NC (mimicking Fatso): Raymond.
The three ghosts scare Harvey. As Harvey faints, they go inside him through his mouth.
NC (voiceover, mimicking Stretch): Ew! His colon is disgusting!
NC (voiceover, mimicking Fatso): What the hell did this guy eat?
NC (voiceover): And we partake in... that's right! Another pointless bunch of cameos.
Harvey washes his face and looks into mirror. His face turns into Clint Eastwood's.
Clint Eastwood: I'm gonna kill you...
NC (mimicking Eastwood): There. I did a kid's film. You happy?
Harvey's face changes again to Rodney Dangerfield's.
Rodney Dangerfield: You think YOU got it tough? I got a facelift! And there's one just like it underneath!
NC (mimicking Dangerfield): Hey! The ironic thing is I really am dead!
The face turns again into Mel Gibson's. The Mel-Gibson-face-Harvey looks into mirror proudly.
NC: Why, that's the most attractive religious anti-Semitic sadist I've ever seen!
The face lastly turns into the Crypt Keeper. The Crypt Keeper-face-Harvey screams.
NC: Larry King, no!
Harvey's face turns back to his normal and the three ghosts start to chase and tease Harvey around.
NC: Geez. Isn't there anyway to make this scene even more pointless? Well, how about dialogue comprised of nothing but puns?
Fatso: (locking Kat in a closet): We got a closet case here!
Stinkie: (shooting his bad breath to Harvey) Smell-o-gram!
Stretch: (rolling Harvey down the stairs in a carpet) California roll!
Fatso: (holding sticks to attack Harvey) Anybody for a little shish-ka-doc?
The 'ice' pun of Mr. Freeze from Batman & Robin is shown briefly.
Mr. Freeze: Kick some ice! Chill! Cool party! Stay cool!
NC: Ok. Those last couple were from Batman & Robin. But seriously, could you tell the difference?
Harvey points the end of vacuum cleaner to the three ghosts.
Harvey: Ha! Get back!
Stretch: What the hell is that thing?
NC (mimicking Stretch): Yeah! We got to get that damn PG rating somehow!
Harvey sucks the three ghosts into the vacuum cleaner, but Fatso's head is stuck for a while.
NC: Wait, lemme guess. "This sucks!"
Fatso: This sucks!
NC: I really fucking hate you.
Harvey and Kat run while the three ghosts strangely can't escape the vacuum bag.
Stinkie: Ah, man, who let one?
Fatso: Who do you think?
Stretch: Who's got their pointy head in my --
Fatso: That's not my head.
NC: Well, now, wait a minute, they can fly through walls but not though a simple vacuum bag? How the hell does that work?
NC's Casper: Don't ever question this movie's logic again!
NC's Casper slaps NC. NC tries to grab Casper but his hands just go through him. Casper laughs and punches him.
The movie then cuts to a shot of the mansion on a cliff, followed by a voice that says, "Welcome to Castlevania!"
NC (voiceover): So they wake up and find Casper's there waiting. Only this time, they actually tries to communicate with him.
Kat: What are you made of?
Casper: Well, you know that tingling feeling when your foot falls asleep? I think I'm made of that.
(Actually, ghosts are made of a substance called ectoplasm. It's not like flesh: it's a construction meant to house a bodiless soul.)
NC is surprised. He looks suspiciously at Casper.
NC's Casper: God, I don't know what I was smoking to say that.
An egg-frying cooking machine is shown.
NC (voiceover): Ah. This is totally original! We haven't seen this in the movie yet! Except for Back to the Future, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Brazil, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and several Wile E. Coyote cartoons. But aside from that, totally original!
NC (voiceover): Unfortunately, the three douches come in with more of their unpredictable pop cultural reference.
The Ghostly Trio appear while humming 'Ride of the Valkyries' .
Fatso: I feel like Oprah on hiatus.
Stretch: You look like Oprah on hiatus.
NC: Oprah! 'Cause... She's famous, right? I'm sure we got some Britney Spears jokes coming up, too!
Kat: What's your problem? He's just cleaning the floor.
Stretch: Shut up, skinbag.
Kat: Piss off.
NC: Hey, more vocabulary I'm sure you want your kids to pick up. This movie is edgy.
NC (voiceover): So Kat starts her first day at school and finds that she has a hard time fitting in.
Teacher: Why don't you tell us something special about yourself, Kathleen?
Kat: Um, well, it's Kat.
A girl named Amber meows. The kids laugh.
NC: Ha ha, she meowed like a cat, her name is Kat, it's funny, ha!
NC's Casper: Timing!
Kat: Well, I guess I just moved here.
Amber rolls her eyes at Kat.
NC (mimicking Amber): *scoff* "Moved here." I can't believe she said that.
Kat: And Friendship seems like a pretty friendly place.
NC (voiceover): But it turns out it's okay. Because she can host the school Halloween party at her house because school is supposedly to be ran out of room. And I guess she sort of forgot about that whole being haunted thing. On top of that, it also turns out one of the boys wants to ask her out.
As the boy, named Vic, talks to Kat, Casper mocks his gestures behind him.
Vic: So, listen, if you're not hooked up with anybody else, you wanna... I don't know... hang out with me at the party?
Kat: I'd love to.
The <Imperial March> theme from Star Wars soundtrack can be heard as it turns out Amber is planning something bad with Vic.
Amber: Well, did you ask her?
Amber: And she actually believed you?
Vic: This really bites.
Amber: No, it's absolutely perfect.
NC (voiceover): I can't wait for this plot device to make main return in the film's epilogue.
NC's Casper: Timing!
NC (voiceover): So Casper gets a tad jealous and decides to spend the time with Kat. Forming, I guess a strong bond.
Casper: If I were alive, would you go to the Halloween dance with me?
Casper: Can I keep you?
NC: Hi! That's not creepy!
NC (voiceover): I mean, I know that's supposed be a charming scene but... it's not. It's creepy. Even the way he looks when he says it is a little bit disturbing. I mean, listen to him in slow motion and tell me you don't get the chills.
The same scene is played in slow motion.
Casper: Can I keep you?
NC: Ew! Creepy!
NC (voiceover): So after he gives her the kiss of death, Kat tries to figure out what to wear for Halloween.
Harvey: Don't worry. You always look cute.
Kat: I don't wanna look cute. Cute's like when you're nine years old and you've got papier-mache around your head. I want to look...
NC (mimicking Kat): Slutty! Like every other female on Halloween! (whispering) Which I have no problem with... no...
Harvey: Honey, I think maybe it's time that we sat down and...
Kat: It's a little late for that, Dad.
Harvey: How late?
Kat: Oh, don't worry. Not that late.
NC (mimicking Kat): I already had the abortion.
Animated Casper is shocked by NC's joke. He stares at the Critic for a few seconds without a word.
NC: Ok. That's a little bit disturbing...
NC's Casper: Wow.
NC: Ok. Ok. Just a little bit dark humor...
NC's Casper: WOW!
NC: Ok! Ok! Just move on!
NC's Casper: You sicken me.
NC (voiceover); Meanwhile, Mr. Harvey continues to try to communicate with three ghosts.
Stretch, Stinkie and Fatso mock Harvey.
Stretch (German accent): Vell, vell, ze patient has finally arrived.
Stinkie: Late again, I see.
Stretch: Could this be an expression of hostility, Doc?
Stinkie: Come on, Doc. Stay tough. Don't stop. It ain't often we meet a bonebag as amusin' as you.
NC (singing to the tune of "Thriller" in very high pitched voice and dancing): 'Cause this is filler! Filling up the time! An hour and a half is just too long for uncreative minds! Whoo! Whooo!
NC (voiceover): So while looking through the attic Casper just so happens to find a dress for Kat.
Casper: It was my mom's.
NC: And fortunately she was the exact same size with the twelve year old girl!
Kat: Casper, it's perfect.
NC (voiceover): I guess! If you like looking like grandma. Meanwhile, Casper finds an old sled and memories of his past life start to return to him.
Casper: I took it out, went sledding all day, and my dad said, "That's enough," but I couldn't stop. I was having so much fun.
The scene overlaps with Kane saying 'Rosebud' in Citizen Kane.
Casper: And I got sick. My dad got sad.
NC: I still don't know. I always thought Casper was the ghost of Charlie Brown. He had a round head, big mouth, and probably died of cancer to explain the hair loss. But the sled story is good too.
NC (voiceover): So it turns out his father was working on machine to bring people back to life, I'm dead serious, as Kat thinks maybe they can find it and get to work!
Capser: I would hold on.
Casper pulls a switch. The chair starts to move all by itself while carrying Kat.
NC: Ah. Chair operated by the Zuul dogs.
The scene of Kat carried by her chair overlaps with the scene of Dana being kidnapped by Zuul dogs from Ghostbusters, to make seem that Kat is kidnapped by Zuul.
NC (voiceover): ZUUL, MOTHERFUCKER, ZUUUUUL!
NC (voiceover): So they find his father's laboratory and try to see if they can locate the machine.
Kat pushes a button as a machine emerges out of the water.
NC (voiceover): Hey! It's just like Myst. Now I just have to play four hours of boring puzzles!
Kat: What is this?
Casper: Careful! It's what brings ghosts back to life.
NC (voiceover): So, yeah! Casper's father has much pretty much created God as they try bring Casper back to life. But then lame and lamer pop out. (Dibs and Carrigan) Yeah. Remember them? They're still in the movie too. And they just so happen to find that the vault with the treasure is in the same place. So they steal the potion from them so that one of them can die, get into the vault and get resurrected. Carrigan accidentally gets the axe as she brings herself back in ghost form.
Carrigan: Not so fast, little man. The bitch is back!
NC: Boy, Casper. You movie really has a potty-mouth.
NC's Casper: Of course! We're playing for the adult audience!
NC: Yeah. But just saying swear words and random pop cultural references doesn't make it adult humor. If anything, it makes it more childish!
NC's Casper: So how about that damn David Letterman, huh?
NC (voiceover): So Carrigan turns into a ghost, she gets the treasure from the vault, the guests arrive, the evil boy and girl try set up a prank, the father is out getting drunk with other ghosts and Eric Idle tries to get the potion back from Kat. This movie juggles pointless story lines than Star Wars prequel.
Carrigan: Hey, "poppin' fresh," it's my turn in the oven. Dibs! Get this thing cooking, you flaccid little worm, you!
NC's Casper: Hey, her speaking voice turned into the Nostalgia Critic's!
NC tries to catch Casper but his hands just go through him.
Casper: (teasing) Suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it!
Dibs: Sorry, sweetheart. We're through.
Carrigan: (Gasps) I am not gonna forget this, you ungrateful, lousy little worm, you.
Dibs: I got the power. I got the treasure.
He-Man: I have the Power!
Carrigan: And you have a flight to catch.
Carrigan throws Dibs out of the window.
NC (mimicking Idle): My only regret to Shrek 3!
Casper: But aren't you forgetting something?
Casper: Your unfinished business.
Carrigan: I have my treasure, my mansion. I have everything. I'm just perfect.
Carrigan cackles and then starts to be destroyed.
Carrigan: Wait! I lied!
Carrigan blasts into pieces and disappears.
NC: Oh! I guess God heard her. You think He was keeping his ear out.
Casper: My treasure!
The treasure turns out to be a baseball.
Kat: A ball? That's your treasure?
Casper: Are you kidding? It's autographed by Duke Snider, the Brooklyn Dodgers.
NC (voiceover): Really? You wasted the whole entire plot point just for that? If I was actually interested in this movie, I'd be so disappointed.
NC's Casper: Timing!
NC (voiceover): And speaking of dead plot threads, here another one pops out to show it's ugly dead-end. It appears Kat's father fell down a cliff and turned into a ghost himself. Which of course means they're gonna use the machine to bring him back instead.
Harvey: Oh, sweetheart. Oh, what have I done?
NC: Ok. Here's a question for ya, Casper! How come half of the ghosts in this movie have hair and clothes yet the other don't? You don't even have nostrils! How the hell can you smell anything?
NC's Casper: You know what I smell?
NC's Casper: A great big pile of... shut the hell UP!
Casper: This is the way it's gotta be.
NC (voiceover): Well, you give that liquid to a scientist so he can figure out what goes in it and maybe duplicate.. ok. We need a climax.
Harvey comes back from the dead by the machine.
Harvey: Oh, Kat!
Harvey and Kat hug.
NC: Did he just say 'Bucket'?
NC (mimicking Harvey hugging Kat): Oh... Paperweight.
NC (voiceover): So while they enjoy the reunion the bad boy and the bad girl try to put together a prank that... to be honest, I really don't follow.
Amber: People are gonna freak.
Vic: Let me see.
Amber lifts the robe so Vic can see the costume in the mirror.
NC: We're gonna be wearing a costume! That'll throw 'em off!
The three ghosts emerge out of Amber and Vic.
Stretch: Thank you!
Stinkie and Fatso appear and laugh with Stretch. Amber and Vic scream and run out of the house. People clap as they see them.
NC: Yay! Random thing! Go on. Use a bunch of jump like from the ceiling but he can't always win.
A clip from Next Karate Kid is shown.
NC (voiceover): So just to throw on some last minute clichés Kat's mother appears in hellish red colors as a guardian angel who gives Casper the gift of life one more time so he can dance with Kat. So she's not really a guardian angel as much as a fucking Blue Fairy.
Casper: I told you I was a good dancer. (Whispering) Can I keep you?
NC: You know, somehow I thought him saying that not being dead would make it a little less creepy. It doesn't.
NC (voiceover): So the mother also makes an appearance to her husband so she can finally say goodbye.
Mother: You and Kat loved me so well when I was alive that I have no unfinished business.
NC (voiceover): You know I have to give credit to God. This is very nice of Him. Breaking the laws of life and death so two mildly depressed people can have a rock in Halloween party? What a nice guy. Also is it me or waving her arms every time when she enters and leaves? What is she, a duck?
Kat and Casper kiss as Casper slowly turn into ghost back again.
NC: No! I haven't got into the first base! Hell, I haven't even got to bat!
All the people are frozen with fear.
Everyone rushes out of the mansion screaming.
Kat: Not bad for my first party, huh?
Casper: Couldn't have been better.
Harvey: It ain't over yet. Boys!
Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie appear in weird rock star outfits, playing instruments.
NC: We got... Leopard skin Prince impersonators!
Everyone dances happily to the Casper song. The movie ends.
NC (voiceover): So that's Casper the movie. And I have to admit the story about ghosts seems like a relatively soulless movie. I mean there isn't much to it.
NC's Casper: But wasn't it scary?
NC's Casper: Well. Wasn't so bad it was scary?
NC: Actually it wasn't even that.
Footage of Casper
NC (voiceover): I mean, granted it is a bad movie, but it's nowhere near terrible. The sets are kind of creative, the CGI is fun. And even though it doesn't really work, you can tell that creators were at least trying to create something good. There was actual effort put onto it.
Animated Casper looks confused while NC talks.
NC: It's kind of like the Ninja Turtles movie. It's not really good but could have been hell of a lot worse. Especially considering the subject matter. So, I have to give them credit for at least trying.
Casper: That's it! I'm tired of leaving no lasting impact on the creative media. But I will leave a lasting impact on your balls!
Casper attacks NC who yells in pain. He tries to catch Casper but his hands just go through it.
NC's Casper: Ha, ha! You still can't get me!
NC runs out of the screen.
NC's Casper: That's right. Run away! Flee from the friendly ghost! Ha, ha, ha!
Casper stops laughing as he hears a noise. The opening of Ghostbusters theme song can be heard as the Critic in Ghostbusters outfit walks out of the wardrobe. He points his proton pack shooter and fires towards Casper. Casper screams and flies out of the house. NC chases after him.
NC tries to fire again but his proton pack doesn't work temporarily. He examines the pointer close to his face. Beam blasts out of the pointer. NC yells and runs after Casper again. We get a wide shot of the street where Critic lives as Casper runs away from NC.
Casper flies into a hotel. NC also enters the building through doors. He is lost for a while.
NC: Where the hell am I?
A voice: Geek Media Expo!
NC: What a devilish devil! CASPER!
NC runs through the hotel.
NC (to janitor): Have you seen Casper? Little ghost? Friendly? Has a huge upper cut?
Janitor smiles and walks away without a word. NC approaches a man who is carrying a little girl on his back.
NC (to the man): Did you see Casper? Little ghost? You seen him? Anywhere? Anywhere? You seen him anywhere? (To girl) You're adorable! (To camera) Let's go!
NC sees Casper entering a room.
NC: There he is! There he is!
NC rushes into the room which is full cosplayers.
NC: Have you seen Casper? I'm looking for Casper!
A man: Went that way!
NC: There he is! CASPER!
NC shoots toward Casper must misses. Everyone in the room cheers an shouts.
NC: (To girls cosplaying Harley Quinn and Joker) Go get him, Harley! Smash him! Smash him with the hammer!
Harley: I can't see him!
NC: It's above that woman!
NC shoots again but misses again. Casper rushes into one of the men in the room.
NC: He went into him! I will not let you take him!
The man goes into a fit. NC shoots again and Casper emerges from the man. A woman cosplaying Joker in nurse outfit restrains the man. Casper disappears while everybody laughs. NC spots a man who is cosplaying Bum.
NC: Who are you? Have I met you before?
Fake Bum: Change?
NC: Get out of the way, man!
A man: He's in that guy's coat!
Casper flies out of a man's coat.
NC: He went to the door! Come on! Come on, people!
People in the room rushes out with Critic to help him with catching Casper.
NC: There he is!
NC and the cosplaying crowd try to enter indoor swimming pool in which Casper went.
NC: He locked the gate! Casper locked the gate!
Man: There is another door!
NC finally enters the swimming pool. Casper is frowning with anger. Just as NC tries to shoot Casper...
NC: I'm out of power! He's mocking me! Casper is mocking me!
NC puts off his hat and Ghostbusters gear.
NC: YOU WILL NOT WIN, CASPER!
NC jumps into the swimming pool while grabbing Casper to the water. Everyone shouts, cheers and claps. NC emerges out of the water.
NC: He melted! He melted away!
NC steps out of the pool.
NC: I have defeated...I have defeated the evil ghost. Hug me!
As NC spreads out his arms, a girl cosplaying Joker pushes NC in the chest a little bit thus causing NC to dive into the pool again. People clap and cheer again. The Joker gives thumbs up for NC's diving. NC walks out of the pool again and lies down.
NC: I think I need a CPI. No! No!
Harley beats NC in the chest with her balloon hammer.
After the credits, we see NC who is soaking wet walking towards the exit. People stare at him curiously.
NC: Don't ask.