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Despacito

Despacito tits

Date Aired
July 18, 2017
Running Time
12:33
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Todd plays "Despacito" on the piano.

DESPACITO - LUIS FONSI ft. DADDY YANKEE & JUSTIN BIEBER
A pop song review

Todd: Well, hey! A summer song! A song you would actually listen to in the summer! How did that happen?

'Despacito' video begins

Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee: Fonsi, D-Y

Todd (VO): I'm sorry to keep bringing this up, but modern pop music is in what old-timey sailors call 'The Doldrums'.

Clip of Imagine Dragons - "Believer"

Dan Reynolds: Pain, you made me a, you made me a believer

Todd (VO): We live in dark times and we keep getting dark music. Purveyors of happy, candy-colored pop music like... [Clip of "Chained to the Rhythm" by...] Katy Perry are struggling because we're just not happy enough to listen to this. [Clip of Halsey - "Now or Never"] Music has to be depressing now. One of my viewers called it... [Tweet: halsey's washed-out man of steel pop is the way of the future] 'man of steel pop, a term I am immediately... [same tweet, 'TODD IN THE SHADOWS' is slapped over twitter user's name] appropriating and claiming as my own. I came up with it, it's my phrase now.

Todd: But goddammit, we can't be sad and dour all the time. [picture of beach background with coconut, sunglasses and sandal] It's still summer, [picture of...] we're not actually a post-apocalyptic wasteland, even if that's the impression you get listening to... [comic with chicken proclaiming the sky is falling] panicky idiot cultural critics such as myself.

We need a good summer song. And if no one in the English-speaking world has it in them, by God, we'll get it elsewhere!

Luis: Despacito

Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito

Todd: Spanish? Sure, why not.

Todd (VO): I mean, that's apparently what we concluded seeing this song is not only successful in America, it's America's first foreign language #1 hit, in like six billion years.

Todd: Hey, I mean if you think about it, it makes sense. I mean, we're America.

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