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DuckTales (2017)

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Duration
12:20
Released
August 22, 2017
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(The shortened opening)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Well, I was right, it will never leave!

(The DuckTales theme (2017 version) plays as the title for it is shown)

Felicia Barton: (singing) DuckTales, woo-oo! Every day they're...

NC: (covering his head in frustration) I just got that song out of my head, and it's back! It's freakin' back!

(Images of the original DuckTales are shown)

NC (vo): In February 2015, it was announced Disney was rebooting one of their beloved classic shows, DuckTales. At first, people didn't know what to think of it. Reboots were everywhere and overdone, but at the same time, it's DuckTales. It seems like there's possibilities for it.

(We are then shown footage of the new reboot's intro)

NC (vo): Then the premiere of the intro was put on YouTube, and it was actually pretty damn good. It mixed modern animation with the classic Disney comic book-style of the 50s. It was both a great update, as well as a great throwback.

NC: Then they did something even cooler: They released the first episode on YouTube.

(Footage of the first episode is shown)

NC (vo): Yeah, you can go to the Disney XD's YouTube and watch the premiere right now.

NC: (sighs in relief) Oh, good. I didn't want to have to borrow someone's Disney Go password.

NC (vo): I guess they're that confident that you'll like it and keep coming back for more. As you've probably noticed, we've talked about DuckTales several times on this show, so it only makes sense to see if they were right. Is it as good as they're hyping it up to be, and will we come back for more?

NC: Let's find out by taking a look at the first episode of the DuckTales reboot.

(The show starts by showing several duck sailors shooing a seagull away)

NC (vo): It opens with a seagull flying through the air and a bunch of feathered sailors shooing it away.

NC: They're all birds! How does this work? When is Pluto gonna walk Goofy?! IT'S NEVER EXPLAINED! (An image of Goofy walking Pluto is shown, showing their faces completely switched)

(We are introduced to Donald Duck and his nephews, Huey, Dewey and Louie)

NC (vo): We see some ducks on the water, though, as a boathouse containing Donald Duck and his nephews, Huey, Dewey and Louie...

(The nephews' voices now sound like teenagers and young adult voices instead of sounding like Donald)

Huey (Danny Pudi): Good morning, Uncle Donald.

Louie (Bobby Moynihan): You can't wear this to your job interview.

NC: ...who are presumably now little people in their 20s...

NC (vo): ...try to get Donald to his job interview so they can take the boat out and get into trouble.

Donald (Tony Anselmo): Where is that babysitter? (answers a phone) Where are you?

(We see the boys' babysitter stranded in the middle of nowhere with only a cabin in the desert)

Babysitter (Jason Marsden): I don't know.

Donald: Crazy old bird. (hangs up)

NC: Did he just call her a crazy old broad?

Donald: Crazy old bird.

NC: Someone's been talking to the cop from Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

Female cop (from Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer): Better get looking for the old broad.

(Dewey is shown attempting to control the boat as Donald comes in)

Dewey (Ben Schwartz): All right, boys! We'll get to Cape Suzette and back before anyone realizes we're gone!

NC: I'll just put the In-Joke Counter over there and pray there's a TaleSpin reboot. (An In-Joke Counter appears on the right, counting down to 1) Ooh, maybe a live-action one! (An image of the show Tales of the Gold Monkey is shown)

(Donald throws his nephews into his car)

NC (vo): Donald realizes he can't leave them alone and decides to take them to Uncle Scrooge's house.

Dewey: You were supposed to get them out by 10:00, Hubert!

Huey: You were supposed to signal before you started the boat, Dewford!

Louie: We never get to do anything.

NC: (shrugging) Loubert.

(We first see Scrooge McDuck, who's sitting down in his chair, depressed)

Vulture executive: With business expanding in the Spoonerville and St. Canard markets...

(The In-Joke Counter reaches 3, before NC swats it away)

NC: Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna get rid of that. Trust me, there's a lot of them.

NC (vo): Scrooge finds the color has literally gone out of his life, as he doesn't really go on adventures anymore, he just mostly sits around and talks with his business executives, a group of vultures.

NC: You know, I'm only three minutes into this show, and already, it's more insanely clever than it needs to be.

Scrooge (David Tennant): Fantastic.

NC (vo): Scrooge is voiced by David Tennant, which is very fitting, seeing how he's so cranky, you can see him instructing someone to throw coffee in their own face.

(A clip of Jessica Jones is shown, showing Kilgrave (also played by Tennant) encountering a newspaper shop owner holding coffee)

Kilgrave: Throw it in your face.

(The owner throws coffee in his face, causing him to scream. Back to the show, where we see Scrooge and Donald seeing each other for the first time in years)

NC (vo): Donald and Scrooge don't really get along, but Donald does manage to trick him into looking after the boys for just a few hours.

(The nephews enter Scrooge's mansion and notice a bowl of apples with diamonds attached to the fruits)

NC (vo): And, yes, by the way, those apples have diamonds in them.

NC: Really think about the number of questions that raises.

NC (vo): Scrooge throws them in their room with a bag of marbles and orders his maid Mrs. Beakley to not let them interfere with anything.

Mrs. Beakley (Toks Olagundoye): A gift from your great-uncle. You will return them upon your departure. He's counted them. (She closes the door)

NC (vo): Okay, to be fair, marbles were like the Batarang in the original. You can do a lot with them!

Louie: So we're totally ditching this room, right?

Dewey: Yep. And I know just how to do it. (takes out a bag of marbles)

NC (vo): Ah. See? They're already getting some ideas...

Dewey: (hits the doorknob with a bag) Stupid doorknob, come off! (And it does break)

NC: You know, damn it, show! Stop being so clever!

(After opening the door, Dewey is captured by the rope. Cut to all three tied up, hanging upside down, and being interrogated by Webby Vanderquack, who's redesigned as well)

NC (vo): They escape, but are immediately captured by Beakley's granddaughter Wabel...I mean, Webby.

Webby (Kate Micucci): What are your blood types? What's Donald really like? Who's the evil triplet? Tell me everything! (presses the button on the photo camera)

NC: (as Webby, smiling) Quackling hook! (A clip of Webby using the grappling hook and a screenshot of Mabel from Gravity Falls doing the same are shown back-to-back)

NC (vo): Okay, so, while she does seem eerily similar to Gravity Falls' most popular character, there certainly are some differences. One: she has no friends, where Mabel was a social butterfly... (A screenshot of Mabel, Candy and Grenda cheering is shown briefly)

Webby: Are we friends now?

Huey: If we say yes, will you let us live?

Webby: (scoffs) Good one, new best friend!

NC (vo): Two: while she's excitable, she's also socially awkward due to Beakley being overly protective...

Webby: (speaking rapidly in a walkie-talkie to Mrs. Beakley) Hi, Granny, I'm spending the night at a friend's house, so nothing is wrong!

NC (vo): And three: she has kind of a violent edge.

(Cut back to the scene where the boys are tied up)

Webby: Who sent you? Ma Beagle? Glomgold? Answer me!

NC (vo): And to be fair, most people would rather have a variation of Mabel than a variation of the original Webby. And apparently, the writers thought the same thing, as there's an arrow in a doll of her past design. (Zoom in to just that doll hanging on a wall)

NC: (shaking his head) Too soon. (Beat) Can you get rid of her while you're at it? (Molly Cunningham from TaleSpin is shown)

NC (vo): Scrooge feels down about the kids calling him a has-been, though, so he plans to go on an expedition to find Atlantis.

Scrooge: (while putting on a diving suit) I'm no has-been. I am an am-now. A shift in currents may present a pathway to Atlantis!

NC: Eh, Joss Whedon already searched once with Disney. It got mixed results. (A poster for Atlantis: The Lost Empire is shown)

(Webby shows the boys the dark room where all the treasures Scrooge has found are kept)

NC (vo): Webby takes them to the Wing of Secrets...

(The lamp from Treasure of the Lost Lamp, the head of Armstrong the robot from the original show's episode of the same name, and the giant sun coin from the original show's pilot are shown as the In-Joke Counter checks them all, counting it up to 6. NC swats the counter away again)

NC: Yeah, I told you we're done with that!

(The children see a painting, which depicts Scrooge and Donald fighting the pirates on their ship)

NC (vo): ...where they start to wonder if Scrooge, as well as Donald, actually went on all the adventures they claim to go on.

Webby: Donald Duck is one of the most daring adventurers of all time!

(Jump cut to Donald himself calmly sitting in the waiting room, holding his resume and humming. A young red-haired dog woman is sitting next to him)

NC: Eh, it's good to know that Roxanne...

NC (vo): ...is still getting job interviews after breaking up with Max.

NC: ("stage whispers") He did not trade up, by the way. He's dating some model. (A clip of Max and his other girlfriend Mona from Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas is shown) A butt-ugly CGI model.

(A ghost of a sea captain named Peghook comes out of the chest Webby opened)

NC (vo): They accidentally open a chest, releasing the ghost of Captain Peghook and his steed, the Headless Man-Horse.

(Along with Peghook comes just what NC described: a horse that has no head. It hits the Gong of Piscou)

NC: (smiling) I'm...just gonna pretend I'm gonna sleep well tonight.

NC (vo): He (Peghook) says he won't leave until he gets the head of Scrooge, so Scrooge obliges by giving him the head from one of his statues.

Peghook: I should have been more specific!

(He disappears, and the head lands on the Headless Man-Horse. It beats the Morse code with its hoof. As translated by subtitles in the show, it says, "A head. I'm no longer a freak! Thank you!". The horse then runs out of the room, whinnying)

NC: Okay, as funny as that is, we never see that horse again. And if there's any character I want to know what happened to...

(After the final gong hit, Piscou, the stone dragon guarding it, comes to life, and Scrooge, his personal driver Launchpad McQuack, and the children all fight it)

NC (vo): But they release another ancient evil: a giant Chinese dragon. And much like the live-action reboot of Mulan, it's only there to consume riches, so it chases after Scrooge's gold. They get Scrooge's limo driver Launchpad to pilot the plane to stop him. They use the Medusa gauntlet to turn him into stone, and...

(After Scrooge touches Piscou's tail wearing the said gauntlet, the dragon, having already smashed the roof of Scrooge's money bin, turns back to stone, and his head falls right in the money)

NC (vo): ...presumably murder him...

NC: And, to be fair, they do show not having a head isn't the roadblock it used to be. (A clip of the Headless Man-Horse with Scrooge's stone head is shown again)

NC (vo): Scrooge is impressed with their adventure-making shenanigans, and he wants them to join him in his search for Atlantis.

(Back to Donald. Scrooge's longtime rival, Flintheart Glomgold, approaches Donald and offers to work for him)

NC (vo): But, in a hilarious twist, the job Donald was applying for belongs to Scrooge's mortal enemy, Glomgold, the second richest duck in the world.

(Cut to a scene of Glomgold's instructional video, with four duck girls of model appearance dressed in Scottish attire by his side)

Glomgold (Keith Ferguson): Welcome, new employees, to Glomgold Industries!

NC: Well, now we know what the CEO of Tilted Kilt looks like.

(We go to a commercial. After coming back, we see Glomgold addressing his henchmen and explaining his evil plan to them in his submarine)

NC (vo): So Glomgold wants to go after Atlantis to become the richest duck in the world, and he's hired a team of assassins to get it before Scrooge.

(Donald shows the pictures of him and his nephews in their younger years to Glomgold's henchmen via the smartphone)

Donald: Ah, little Dewey's first steps. (He swipes to another picture of him and little Huey in a football uniform) And that's Huey in the playoffs. He was the waterboy.

NC: It's weird enough seeing Donald with modern-day technology, but...do his feathers have fingerprints to swipe? This...show is asking so many questions I never thought I would ask.

(Scrooge and the others arrive in Atlantis in another submarine, but the city isn't quite in the right position)

NC (vo): So Scrooge and the gang make it to Atlantis and find it's all upside down.

(Scrooge explains the city's history by showing the upside-down sign with small pictures on it)

Scrooge: The Atlanteans were so eager to build an epic city of wonders and death traps, they didn't stop to figure out a proper support structure, and the whole thing fell into the sea!

NC: (confused) So they...made that sign after the city sank?

(We are shown the clip from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Brother Maynard (Eric Idle): He must have died while carving it.

(The gang discovers that they can easily pass the Atlantean death traps by walking on the ceiling, much to Dewey's disappointment. Meanwhile below, Donald tries to block the erupting flames because of Dewey walking through the multiple lasers trap)

NC (vo): Dewey wants to experience as much adventure as possible, but he finds being upside down sucks a lot of the action out of it. But Donald tries to save Dewey from himself.

Dewey: (to Scrooge) Give me a chance instead of lumping us all together in the back seat while you drive!

NC: (waves off) Oh, come on. Nobody lumps you all together...blue one.

NC (vo): That, actually, is another cool element of the show. They try to have Huey, Dewey and Louie have a little bit more identities, so you can tell them a little bit more apart. I can't even think of the last time I saw an episode of anything where one gets individual focus...

(The screenshot of the nephews from the 1939 cartoon The Hockey Champ is shown)

NC (vo): ...as opposed to them sharing the same amount of time-

(A picture of teenage incarnations of Huey, Dewey and Louie from the show Quack Pack flashes)

NC: (smiling forcibly) That's fond remembering!

(Glomgold appears, takes the Jewel of Atlantis once Scrooge and Dewey discover it, and throws Donald down to them)

NC (vo): But Glomgold gets the jewel first and finds out Donald is related to them, and leaves them to drown.

(The water bursts from the pipes and walls and starts flooding the treasure room)

Dewey: We got to stop the water!

(Donald takes some coins to plug the hole in the wall, but doesn't succeed)

NC: ...They're ducks. They can float.

Donald: (to Scrooge, while also holding the water back with his arms and legs) I knew I couldn't trust you with the boys.

Dewey: Stop! Scrooge was trying to keep me out of trouble, but I was so caught up in- (stops to look up) Why is there a lamp on the floor?

NC: Hey, come on. You interrupted the Disney lesson. We had, like, 20 more seconds of synth music!

(And that "lamp" is actually...)

Scrooge and Dewey: That's the real Jewel of Atlantis!

Scrooge: That thing lit up when the trap was sprung! I bet my bottom dollar it's the power source that runs the city!

NC: (adjusts his suit) And they said we'd never use those scripts from the TV show that never happened. (The DVD cover for Atlantis: Milo's Return is shown)

(It is shown that the others like Webby can pretty much handle themselves in crucial situations by hilariously beating the crap out of Glomgold's team)

NC (vo): Meanwhile, Glomgold's henchmen seem to really suck at what they do, as Glomgold tries to blow Atlantis up with everybody inside.

(Glomgold's former team comes up to Donald)

Donald: Huh?

Gabby McStabberson (Jennifer Hale): Mr. Duck, could we, um, maybe bum a ride with you?

NC: (as Gabby) We're just gonna get confused for Ninja Turtle villains if we don't get more screentime!

NC (vo): They, of course, help them out, and show up Glomgold with the real treasure.

(Scrooge is shown being interviewed by reporters, one of them the Roxanne lookalike from before)

Roxanne Featherly (Kari Wahlgren): Mr. McDuck, how do you respond to claims...

NC: Wow, Roxanne...

NC (vo): ...got another job pretty quick! Applying for henchwoman and ending up as a TV reporter?

NC: Life's funny that way.

NC (vo): So, through lame excuses not really needing to justify kids going on adventures...

Donald: These boys will get into trouble. So maybe...you could teach them to get out of trouble.

NC: Can't some caregivers just be bad people?

NC (vo): ...it's agreed that the boys can stay with Scrooge, especially after their houseboat blows up.

Dewey: I may have left the engine running in the houseboat... (Everybody glares at him)

NC: The circle is now complete.

Roxanne Featherly: Reclusive adventure capitalist Scrooge McDuck is back, solving mysteries, and rewriting history!

NC: (holding imaginary mic, singing) Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale's Rescue Ran- D'oh, I had it!

(We see Dewey clean up in the mansion's basement, where he sees a picture of Donald and Scrooge on one of their adventures on a ship again)

NC (vo): So Dewey is happy to know that his family is truly adventurous and that he truly belongs.

NC: I'll just celebrate this incredibly serviceable ending by drinking out of my favorite and most expensive champagne glass, with my favorite and most expensive champagne inside! (brings out and holds what he just mentioned) As I will do now.

(Dewey moves the torn corner of the picture to reveal a female duck fighting on the ship's rigging)

Dewey: Mom?

NC: (staring in shock for a moment) Do you know how close I was to dropping that?

NC (vo): "Mom?" As in parents? Huey, Dewey and Louie have parents? Has that ever been addressed in a cartoon ever?! I just assumed they were clones, spawned in a laboratory of comedic sidekicks! We're actually gonna do this? It's finally gonna explain who Huey, Dewey and Louie's parents are?!

NC: (thumps desk exuberantly) DuckTales! WOO-HOO!

(Footage of the pilot episode plays out as NC gives his final thought)

NC (vo): This reboot is everything you would want it to be. It's funny, it's creative, it's modern, it's retro, it's classic, it's new, it has great animation with charming characters! It's clearly combining old-school Disney adventures, like their comics and the Disney Afternoon, with newer Disney adventures, like Star vs the Forces of Evil and Gravity Falls, and they mix perfectly. I know it's only a first episode, but it's made me an immediate fan, going from slightly curious to incredibly intrigued. I can't wait to see where this goes, how they represent old characters and how they introduce new characters. If you want to see how to do a reboot right, go over to Disney XD's YouTube right now and watch DuckTales. Woo-friggin'-hoo!

NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to.

(He gets up and leaves. The credits roll)