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Holiday Clusterf**k
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Lyrics
Nostalgia Critic Specials Holiday Clusterf**k-0
It’s the Holiday Clusterfuck.
Holiday Clusterfuck
Citizens gather together to run amok.
Bucks flying everywhere.
Folks pulling out their hair.
People are waving while paying with great despair.
If we don’t fill Winter with dollar bills, then your depression peaks on top.
We’d rather have stress than to be real depressed. So we all shop until we drop.
Malls crowded every place.
Nowhere a parking space.
Everyone’s screaming “Get your ass out of my face!”
Buying kids cheap costumes.
Lines in all the bathrooms.
Paying a fortune. Extortion’s now in full bloom.
People are shoving while claiming they're loving that holiday joy they feel.
And your kids feel that joy if you buy the right toy. So, better keep your eyes peeled.
Holiday Clusterfuck.
Holiday Clusterfuck.
Citizens gather together to run amok.
Antiques and Christmas cups.
Suicide rates go up.
Kids whining “Buy me a robotic psycho pup!”
Holidays jumble. Three months is a bundle to handle with grace and ease.
We must make a living. So, piss off Thanksgiving and jump straight to Christmas please.
Going, going, and gone.
Change decorations out on your front lawn.
Losing that magical touch.
Seeing your in-laws three times is too much.
“Trick or treat?” “Merry Christmas!”
Going to church for your annual mass.
Kwanzaa, Chanukah too.
Best get it right. Someone’s liable to sue.
Holiday Clusterfuck.
Holiday Clusterfuck.
Millions of billions find they’re just shit out of luck.
Visiting Santa’s crib.
Lying straight to your kids.
Pray they don’t need therapy for your tiny fib.
This shit comes earlier seems almost every year making us spend away.
Christmas, if we voted, should not be promoted right after St. Patrick’s Day.
Christmas and Halloween.
Thanksgiving’s in between.
Putting on more weight than Shamoo on Lean Cuisine.
Snow falling everywhere.
Traffic’s a real nightmare.
Can’t wait for Summer. A bummer. We’re kind of scared.
Emotions flying. Our patience is dying. What happened to all our cheer?
We whisk money away until Valentine’s Day. Thank God it’s just once a year.
Holiday TV specials.
Watching Santa Claus and Jesus wrestle.
Sending out Christmas cards, too.
Wishing good cheer to folks you hardly knew.
It’s the Holiday!
The Holiday!
Holiday Clusterfuck.
Holiday Clusterfuck.
When did this time of year, full of cheer, start to suck?
Someone cut us a break.
Help us, for heaven’s sake!
We’re frowning while drowning! Please, God, No more fruitcakes!
It lasts a while. So, put on your smiles. Don’t let them know how you feel.
We all have to fake it. So, shut up and take it and chow on your Christmas meal.
It’s the Holiday!
The Holiday... Clusterfuck!