(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing pictures of Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Chris Evans as Captain America)
(Trailer clips and stills from "Guardians of the Galaxy" are now shown)
Doug (vo): However, for me, the film I thought would be okay, but everyone thought was gonna be a failure, was "Guardians of the Galaxy". I guess I can kinda see where they're coming from. This is a weird setup. We go from superheroes and supergods to intergalactic fugitives, one being a tree and one being a raccoon with a machine gun. Yeah, it's pretty silly. But I guess I knew it would be okay, because...it kind of embraced its insanity. The marketing said everything. This is not meant to be taken that seriously. It's a raccoon who swears. It's a tree that can only say three words. It's a giant grey guy who literally doesn't know what sarcasm is. It's the chubby dude from "Parks and Recreation" suddenly made to look like a beefcake. This is gonna have a good sense of humor. And it did, and people seem to love it. Though, from the beginning, you might think something else.
Doug (vo): It starts off with our hero named Star-Lord, watching his mother die from cancer. She asks him to take his hand, he's too afraid, doesn't grab it, and she dies. He runs out into the field screaming because he lost his mother, and, suddenly, he's abducted by aliens. That sounds like a totally insane opening, and...it is, but...it's a totally insane film. Years later, he grows up and finds himself living among the aliens as a bounty hunter, treasure hunter, pretty much anything hunter that's usually illegal. (The film's villain, Ronan the Accuser, is shown briefly) But he gets mixed in with a plot from another boring bad guy you won't remember...God, is Loki really your best villain? Why is Marvel so bad at these?...and he teams up with a group of outlaws to try and stop him.
Doug (vo): Nobody was demanding to see this movie on the big screen. Hell, nobody even really knew that much about these characters. But that's sort of what made it so interesting and new. We didn't know these people, we weren't going to get upset if they weren't represented a certain way, and nobody really had high standards because, who the hell's reading a comic about a raccoon with a machine gun? Actually, the real question is, why weren't we reading a comic about a raccoon with a machine gun? But nevertheless, when the movie came out, everyone went nuts. It was one of the biggest hits of the summer and everybody adored it. And...yeah, I like it, too. Did I love it? I don't know if I can say that, I like a lot of the other Marvel movies more, but I think because people's standards were set so low, they were surprised they enjoyed it as much as they did. For me, I thought it was a lot of fun, and funny. But I don't know if I see it as quite the big masterpiece that a lot of other people are seeing it as.
(Several stills showing the things about to be mentioned are shown)
Doug (vo): The plot, once again, is obviously a filler plot. It's talking about the Infinity Stones, it has a throwaway villain, there's a bunch of characters that we're gonna see later. Oh, hey, there's Thanos, and he still does nothing. But, big whoop. Maybe it's like Winter Soldier and it just does it so well. Well, it does it...okay. Again, this is supposed to be a comedy, so it's a different kind of movie. And it does have more sentimental scenes, but they kind of come out of nowhere. Maybe that's the one issue with the movie is, the pacing. Not that it's too fast or too slow, they just don't always segue into each other very well. There's a really nice scene where Groot lights up this room with all these little lights, but it's suddenly an emotional scene in this really big action-packed moment, and it just sort of comes in and leaves too fast. There's another scene where the raccoon is drunk and suddenly starts a fight and we go into a little bit of his backstory and, again, it just kind of comes out of nowhere. They're nice scenes, they just don't always fit in.
(Stills of Gamora, played by Zoe Saldana, are shown)
Doug (vo): I'm also not sure why they never made this green lady that funny. Everybody has their own little weird quirk, but she's the only one that doesn't really seem to have anything that funny about her. You could make the argument that she's the sourpuss who's grounded, but we kind of have this big grey guy (Drax the Destroyer) for that. Well, maybe she's the more emotional center. Well, no, we kind of got Star-Lord for that. So, yeah, even though she looks kind of cool, I didn't entirely see the purpose of her. I would've liked something a little extra to make her feel like she's more part of the team.
Final thought Edit
Doug (vo): But again, it's kind of a nitpick in what's obviously supposed to be a silly movie, and as silly movies go, I don't know what else to really say about it. It's good. It has good effects, it has good acting, it takes itself seriously at the right moments, and goes for the all-out laughs in other moments. Is it clumsy at times? Yeah, but look at it. It's a raccoon and a tree. I'm surprised we got any of this out of that. I'll admit I don't think I loved it as much as everyone else did, but I thought it was really enjoyable. As goofy, intergalactic comedies with a lot of action go, this one's pretty good. It's creative, it's weird, it's goofy, and it's got a lot of punches and explosions. Grab the next ship to the stars and see for yourself.
(A scene showing the five main characters standing in a prison photo line is shown)