[We open with Jerk at New Orleans Square in front of a giant Mickey Mouse jack-o-lantern. He has a pair of Mouse ears covered on his face.]
Jerk: There's no end in sight. I'm gonna need more time. Oh! Hi. Some Jerk with a Camera here. Happy Black Friday everyone and what better way to celebrate Thanksgiving weekend than with... a Halloween episode? [chuckle] Sorry, I didn't want to post these out of order. Unfortunately, Space Mountain is already back to normal, but the Haunted Mansion will still have its holiday theming up through the end of the year. This episode was first released on October 18th, 2011 and was the first Some Jerk appearance of Jared Rosenfeld, AKA RosenHacker, who became an often-seen face on this show and whose work you can find right here [therosenhacker.wordpress.com]. Enjoy and Happy [spooky voice] Black Friday- [normal] Oh, nevermind. How the hell do I get to Disneyland?
[Fade out. Intro begins, only this time Jerk covers himself in a Halloween store Dracula cape and Bach's 'Toccata and Fugue' plays]
Jerk: To all who run from this ghastly place, velcome. I'm... [Jerk pauses]
[Cut to Jerk, still in the cape, in a meeting at a cafe table]
Jerk: Alright, people. I need a Halloween nickname and I need it pronto. It's gotta be a pun, it's gotta play on the name Some Jerk with a Camera, and it's gotta be kinda clever, but not too challenging. Remember this is the internet. RosenHacker, what have you got?
RosenHacker: Some Spook with a Camera?
Jerk: I'd rather die of a heart attack again. Il Neige, what do you think?
Il Neige: Um, Some Monster with a Backrub.
Jerk: I like it, but you're fired. The Wire, hit me. [She smacks Jerk in the face] Thank you. What's your suggestion?
The Wire: You should call yourself Todd Blanston.
Jerk: Incorrect! You, random bystander!
Bystander: Some... Jerk Lantern... with a...
Jerk: You'll never bystand in this town again! Massive celebrity cameo, how would you introduce me?
[Cut to a video Jerk taped previously with Weird Al Yankovich at Durham Performing Arts Center]
Weird Al: This guy's totally in my video for "Perform This Way." It's Tony Goldmark!
Jerk: No one would ever call me that! [back to the table] Spazzmaster, care to contribute?
Spazz: [Pulling out his headphones while playing on his DOS] Sorry, what are we doing again?
Jerk: Dammit, Man! You gotta give me something!
[Jerk is about to say something, but ends up glaring at Spazz. Spazz gives a sarcastic spooky gesture.]
Spazz: Oooh. [Jerk grunts giving the evil glare] Ooh. Scary.
Jerk: By ????, that's it!
[Back to the intro]
Jerk: I'm Spazzmaster Has No Penis.