(Laughter and monkey noises are heard through the opening)

Home! Home! Home! Home! Home! Home! Home!

(spoken) This guy was in prison. Now he's America's sweetheart. That's fuckin' awesome!

(sings) Hey, it's "Home Improvement"

Tim Taylor's why you should not rent

He set ablaze my apartment

It's "Home Improvement"

He chopped my finger in half fixing a mouse pad

He tore my ass in three parts

That I never even knew I had

"Home Improvement"

You're better living in a tent

If he wants to help, say "Get bent!"

It's "Home Improvement"

He killed my dog just hooking up the shower

He paralyzed my mom...

He said her glasses needed more power

He is insane!

(spoken) God have mercy on me and sis!

(sings) "Home Improvement"

"Home Improvement"

"Home Improvement"

(spoken) Oh, and it also has...that Lion King kid!

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