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Opening black and white text reads: Location: Earth Orbit..., before it fades out and we see Angry Joe on his ship hovering above Earth.
Angry Joe: GODDAMNIT Montazuma!!! Eh, Civilization Bullshit!! GAH!!
(Suddenly something causes the ship to vibrate and and rock, As Joe wonders what it is, he receives a communication from someone)
AJ: What the Hell?!?!
Person sending the communication: Angry Joe, there's some sort of portal opening up over earth.
AJ: Put it on screen.
Person: Yes Sir.
(As Joe monitors the screen, a look of shock hovers over his face)
AJ: OH MY GOD!!
(The At4w theme plays before fading to the title card and the song, "Justice must be done" by Sam keenan, before it fades to Linkara with his hand in his face, not looking forward to the review.
Linkara: I hate this thing. I hate this thing more than any other comic I've reviewed. Yeah, I hate it more than Countdown. Yeah, I hate it more than Amazon's Attack! Even the Silent Hill Comics I didn't hate as much as this because they were just incomprehensible, BUT THIS!!!!
Linkara: (voiceover) If someone created a powerplant that ran on hate, my hatred and burning anger for this comic could power the entire world for the next thousand years. That is how much I hate this thing and hope to never again be forced to see it, or be reminded of it!! Of course the problem is that i am reminded of it all the time, every single time that i look at my comics, particularly the series that actually got me started!! Oh but we'll get to that in the final installment of this three parter!! I think right away a lot of the disappointment stems from the creative team. This is beautiful artwork and a critically acclaimed writer. James Robinson is the former longtime writer of Starman, a series from the mid and late 90's, that i actually recommend people to go out and find. Hell, they're still collecting it now in the Starman Omnibus. It's a glorious tale about superhero's, romance, complex characters, and even quite a few tragic moments while celebrating one of the other superhero's that Seagal and Schuster created besides Superman. Robinson could do no wrong as a writer, well besides for Comic Book Villians, a movie that seems to hate comic book fans with a passion, but that's a topic for another day. But No, Robinson is not a bad writer, Hell, I started buying his run on Justice League of America because it actually felt like a superhero book. Mind you it devolved pretty rapidly into crap, but I blame that on a long boring ass crossover, and editorial mandates about who could actually be on the team and... WOW I just keep getting off track with this Don't I!
Linkara: I really don't mean to, but that's what this comic does to me, there are a lot of factors that go into how much of a collasial failure this is, so let me try and explain it as best i can.
Linkara: (voiceover) In 2008 it was announced that James Robinson would release a new Justice League on-goint title. Dan Didio, executive editor at DC, said that the book would be about, "Justice and Seeking justice" rather than responding to emergencies, letting the problems come to them, and being almost entirely Reactive. Robinson later said that the Justice league "is rarely about bringing villians to justice, or even bringing justice to the world at large, they're attacked and they defend themselves, or there's a crime in progress and they go and fight it. My thinking was that if you have justice in your name, then you should do something about bringing Justice to people or bringing villians to justice.
Linkara: And that's the problem in a nutshell, this is a recurring trope with superhero comics, the "Proactive superhero team."
Linkara: (voiceover) Essentially what the two said was that the Justice league, is an ineffectialual organization because all they do is respond to crimes and emergencies when they happen.
Linkara: ONE!! Yeah, that's kinda how it works. They're not a criminal unless they've committed a crime, and while you can work to prevent emergencies from happening, ya can't respond to an emergency that didn't happen. TWO!! If you're so upset about the creative direction of a series, THAT YOU PUBLISH, perphaps you oughta think about reworking the premise of that book, instead of implying that there's something wrong with a book, that you're then saying, isn't worth our time.
Linkara: (voiceover) Next there's that bringing justice to people or bringing villians to justice bit. Let's start with the latter, what exactly do you call fighting supervillians and putting them in jail? Isn't that exactly what you call fighting super villians and putting them in jail? You can't even stay consistent in the same freaking paragraph! Ah, but that is the problem, "BRING JUSTICE TO THE WORLD!!" What the Funk'n'Wagnell is that suppose to mean exactly? Social Justice?, Criminal Justice?, Transitional Justice?, Let's play college professor here and just say this: DEFINE YOUR TERMS!! EEHH, I'll get into more ranting later when we start hearing the dialogue. More or less, the book started to fall apart as it was being written and even while it was being released. Instead of an ongoing series, it became a mini-series, instead of a book about a new second Justice league team, yeah that's work so well in the past by the way, It instead became the launchpad for the rest of the DC universe. Much like how Countdown was suppose to "Define and Introduce the storys at the time," Cry for Justice was suppose to help redefine the Green Arrow stable of books, because a bunch of bad decisions there led to a mediocre and facepalm worthy book, that was losing readers fast.
Linkara: Once again, we had editorial mandates to blame for this garbage. But enough of my ranting, Let's dig into Justice League Cry for Justice #1 and #2, and may God Help us all!
Linakra: (voiceover) I'm reading from a trade here, which i paid full price for, jeesh, i feel sick for having done so, so no looking at the covers. What I will comment on is the logo. I've spoken before about how logos should be unique and awesome. The Justice league logo is great in that classic style of a big organization thats gold and inglourious, with a superhero shield attached to it. The problem is the Cry for Justice part, specifically the font. I want you all to back away from you computer screens for a moment and glace at the first word. Yes this series has been repeatedly mocked as "Gay For Justice," well done editors. No one caught an easy way for people to make fun of your comic, immature as it may be. Let's first take a look at the introduction by James Robinson. Now let's give some credit to the man. He freely admits that the book is rifed with problems, a lot of which has to do with the changing direction of the book during its publication. To quote him, "this book is one of the weirdest and darkest stories he's ever written, and he's not proud of that fact, and he knows that the book gets people angry, but he stands behind it."
Linkara: Admirable Mr. Robinson. However that doesn't make up for the fact that it still blows chunks.
Linkara: (voiceover) We open to the orbiting Justice League satallite where Hal Jordan, The Green lantern, is talking to the other members of the league.
GL: I have something to say, I don't think i can take this anymore.
Linkara: I'm mad as hell and i can't take it anymore, you can tell be the expression on my face.
Linkara: (voiceover) Oh by the way, apparently the planet cyclo just blew up outside since the space next to Earth has a huge purple nebulo within it.
GL: And how many more of us will be taken, with each crisis, more of us fall, now Bruce is gone, and J'onn.
Linkara: (voiceover) Hal is referring to the events of Final Crisis, where the Martian Manhunter was killed, he's better now, in a pointless fashion to show us a villian in that story was fo' serious Yo! Batman was also apparently killed, but instead he was sent back in time in a story that was a lot better than this one. Superman tries to reassure Hal, but he's despondant about the situation.
GL: Begin again, like before, like every other time, doesn't answer one thing, Our name. Justice. THe Justice league. Justice for.. Of What?
Linkara: Well technically of America. That's the full name. People just shorten it to Justice League because you do more than help America.
GL: We wait for villians to do wrong and then go after them, or we wait for them to attack us. Might have worked then.
Linkara: As i said. Diddly-dur hey Hal. That is how it works. Criminals have to commit a crime before you can track them down.
GL: But these aren't the villians of yesterday, and our being good and true isn't scaring them back into the shadows. Not Anymore.
Linkara: (voiceover) Wonder Woman asks what he's saying.
GL: I'm saying this will not stand, I'm saying this will not stand, I'm saying they hurt us, we hurt them back.
Linkara: Okey-dokey Hal, How do we do that?
Linkara: (voiceover) I said how do we do that Hal? HAL?!
GL: We have to track down Libra and every member of his secret society of scum. We have to track them all down, all the villians, all the evil.
Linkara: (voiceover) And then what Hal? HAL?
GL: Justice league, Justice Society. League, Society, communtiy of heros. Cool, I'll put the coffee on. WHAT ABOUT JUSTICE?
Linkara: What about love?
Linkara: (voiceover) THis is seriously lazy-ass writing if ever I've seen it. "We have to track them down." NAH, really Hal? I figured the league members were just gonna sit around and play video games all day. I mean come on, Hal is just bitching for the sake of bitching. And "what about justice?" Ok Hal, what's justice? Are you planning on Killing them? Torturing them? Maiming and mutilating? There is no answer. The entire foundation upon which this story is built is week and shotty!
GL: I am the LAW in space sector 2814
(Clip from Judge dredd)
JD: I AM THE LAW!!!
GL: And that includes Earth. Time i stepped up, someone needs to stop groups like Libra's from ever taking flight in the future!
Linkara: (voiceover) Yeah the last time you had that kind of mindset Hal, you got possessed by a yellow spacebug made of living fear, that almost had you destroy the universe. Funny how continutiy works. Green Arrow joins Hal because...um, I have no idea. Yeah there best friends by i have no idea philosophically why he's being this much of an idiot.
GL: YOU WANT A LEAGUE! I WANT JUSTICE!
Linkara: (voiceover) A league is a type of organization, you want justice, a metaphysical concept that you can't even properly define. Don't pretend you know what you're talking about. Anyway the two leave in one of Hal's energy bubbles. I especially love how the rest of the league just stands there dumbfounded by how stupid the two are acting. It's even better if you think of it like they're the two's parents.
Linkara: (imitating soft parent's voice) Aw, those two wittle skamps are just over-tired. They'll come back in an hour an want a nap.
Linkara: (voiceover) Speaking of, after all there melo-dramatic lip about justice, suddenly the two are talking about how they should've used the teleporter. I don't know what actual difference it would've made, either way they get back to earthm and what good buddies they are. Here's another head scratcher, they're passing through a whole bunch of asteroids on the way back to Earth, where the hell did those come from, and was the artist under the impression that the JLA satellite was around Pluto and we're seeing them pass through the asteroid belt. Anyway the total shift from, serious business, to, my wife is gonna kill me, is a harsh one, one of the many problems of this book. We cut to our good ol' great disaster stopping pal Ray Palmer, fighting alongside Ryan Choi, the new atom, or rather the dead atom because DC, in their infinite wisdom, killed off Ryan Choi to kick off their then new series, "Titans: Villians for Hire." Yeah remember way back in my review of Titans #1? When that book reached the 20's, DC split up all the characters then handed it off to a villian and made it about villians. What's better, DC ALREADY HAD A BOOK ABOUT A TEAM OF VILLIANS! SECRET SIX!! The difference being that Secret Six doesn't suck. Anyway, i'm kinda getting off track. The reason i bring all this up is because a scene with the two atoms fighting side by side is a great one. The two praise each other in narraration captaions. in a different story, this would've been great. However, it's quickly ruined by how the scene concludeds. The two are fighting the perpetually badly dressed villian killer moth. Ray Palmer starts interrogating Killer Moth about a friend of his who was recently tortured and killed for information about Time pool technology. Killer Moth refuses to talk but Ray Palmer decides he's got a better way to get information.
Ray Palmer: Have you ever had a sinus headache so torturous, you thought your head'd explode. What if I shrank to microscopic size, entered your skull, then began to grow? Imagine how that'd feel?
Linkara: (with hands in face and groaning) Oh God! You're serious!
Killer moth: You're hero's, you don't act that way.
Ray Palmer: He's a hero. I'm Ray Palmer, Welcome to Pain!
Linkara: (takes his hands off his face) SOO!! WHERE DO I BEGIN!?!? HMM?
Linkara: (voiceover) Let's start off with the continuity and character bits since that's always interesting. Ray Palmer, as we've discussed before, is a SCIENTIST! He's not dirty freaking harry or Jack Flipping Bauer who will stoop to torture for information. Suppposedly, the impatise for this sudden shift is the death of this friend of his, that as far as i know, we have never seen before, and will never be mentioned again. That's suberb story-telling right there. It's even better if this character did exist, and they just didn't bother to show his death. Way to make a supporting character actually matter!! HUH! Next, there's the method of torture. Remember Countdown, and how Ray Palmer was hiding out on some alternate universe Earth. Well that's because of another mini-series called Identity Crisis, that I absolutely hate. Which I'll get to eventually I promise. In that story, Ray's ex-wife, whom he still loves, murders a friend of there's. And the method of killing her, shrinking into her brain and growing slightly. That's right, Ray is now using the same method that his murderous ex-wife used. The same one that made him so emotionally crippled, he retreated into Countdown. BRILLIANT!!! And finally, there's the third part of our trio of terrible. "I'm Ray Palmer, welcome to pain." DO i even need to say anything about this, and in case you're thinking that was just a bluff. Yeah Next page, we immediately see Ray do it. TORTURING KILLER MOTH!! OUR HERO LADIES AND GENTLEMENT!!!!! Anyway Killer moth says that the person responsible was a villian named Prometheus. We'll get into him a bit later. Ray tells Ryan Choi to go back to his hometown.
Ray Palmer: Me I'm taking this all the way to Prometheus's doorstep. I want him to pay. Yeah....JUSTICE!!!!
Linkara: And you yelled that out....WHY??
Linkara: (voiceover) We cut to Opal City, where Robinson's Starman series took place. Here we meet Mikal Thomas, a former Starman himself, and he goes into a funeral parlor, since apparently his boyfriend was killed off panel due to a supervillian attack. Outside he unleashes his pain and rage, blowing up a random car and walking away.
Narrator: His words don't have a direct translation to any on this planet, But their meaning does! JUSTICE!
Linkara: Hey. He just cried out, and it was for Justice! It's all coming together now Linkara: We cut to Africa, specifically the Congo. On of James Robinsons' strengths has been taking old goofy characters and giving a fresh spin on them, and thus we have one of those kinds of things. This is Congo-rilla, originally a human character named Congo-Bill who got transformed into a gorilla during the silver age. His entire tribe of gorillas has been slaughtered, along with another superhero named freedom beast. Oh goody, killing off B-list superheros, that's always a good sign for a comic, right?
Linkara: Anyway, with the death of his friend Congo-rilla has the expected reaction: NOO! And so issue 1 ends with Congo-rilla screaming that he wants justice along with a caption that simply says justice.