Mightily Murdered Power Ringers 1

Power ringers 1 4th wall

August 22, 2011
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Go Go Power Ringers! Go away and never come back.

(Open on Linkara sitting on his Futon, looking listless)

Linkara: Hello, and welcome to "Atop the Fourth Wall", where bad comics burn. I think it's pretty well-established by now that I'm a Power Rangers fan. If it isn't, I LIKE POWER RANGERS!!

(Footage of the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers is shown)

Linkara (v/o): But let's get something straight: just because I'm a fan of it doesn't mean I can't poke fun at it. Let's face it, the show is cheesy, the concept ridiculous, sometimes casting doesn't see a potential problem that they really should have, the science is ridiculous, and there's just a lot to make fun of.

(Cut to a parody video of this show: CollegeHumor's "Zordon is Racist")

Linkara (v/o): As such, I laugh at plenty of parodies of it, like CollegeHumor's Zordon is Racist sketch...

(Cut to footage of an appropriate parody on Animaniacs)

Linkara (v/o): ...or Animaniacs's sketch making fun of the fight scenes and dialogue and morality plays.

Yakko, Wakko and Dot: (in unison) Right.

Linkara (v/o): The other thing to remember about those, THEY'RE ACTUALLY FUNNY!!

Linkara: Unlike today's comic, Mightily Murdered Power Ringers. It's a black-and-white parody comic and, oh! It's been awhile since we got to enjoy a black-and-white comic on this show, hasn't it?

Linkara (v/o): And hell, what's the track record for these things? There was "Sinnamon" that bizarrely injected Mulder and Scully into the narrative along with communist rednecks. Then there was "Sultry Teenage Super Foxes", both issues of it, that were either incredibly stupid and sexist or just boring. "Xena #1" was just violent schlock, and finally, there was "Bimbos in Time", a comic that the creator freely admitted was made with the intent to make it the worst comic ever.

Linkara: And kudos to that creator; it's a good contender for that vaunted position. And today on out 150th episode, let's meet another as we dig into Mightily Murdered Power Ringers #1.

(Opening titles; title card with "Go Green Ranger" playing)

Linkara (v/o): The cover is a generic group shot against a gradient background. I get the feeling that this was supposed to parody a group shot as well, but it's not exactly impressive. The extent of it is that one person is holding another, one guy is standing on top of yet another, and... while the Red Ringer is supposed to be standing on the pink one, it sure as hell isn't made clear.

(Open to the first page of the comic)

Linkara (v/o): We open on a splash page featuring parodies of the original six Rangers. Now, for a parody, I don't really mind them calling out stuff like "Power of Barnie!", "Power of Godzilla!", and etc. I mean, they're related to dinosaurs, giant animals, and all that stuff, but they SCREW IT UP! First, there's the Red Ringer– Oh, I'm sorry, Scarlet Ringer... Wait, what the hell is the point of that? It's not a joke, it's just calling it a different shade of red. You might as well call the Blue Ranger parody the Azure Ringer or something. Anyway, they get it wrong because the Scarlet Ringer calls on the power of Godzilla. I don't know, maybe they were thinking "Tyrannosaurus equals Godzilla", except the Green Ranger is the one with a big dragon that resembles Godzilla! Then there's the Golden Ringer. Again, what's the damn point of making it a different shade of yellow? Instead of an animal, she has the "power of positive thinking!" I don't recall Trini on the show being any more positive than the rest of the Rangers, who were already a band on non-realistic goody-goods, so why that? I just don't get the joke. Maybe if the rest of them were all wielding powers based on crap like that, with powers like healthy eating, that would be a parody, but she's the only one like that. Is it just so they could put the exposed brain on a helmet? That in itself is dumb, but fine, parody, whatever. Oh, and the Green Ringer, who they didn't even get right in that his outfit looks different! That'd be something to parody: point out how he gets the special super-duper outfit is more popular than the rest of them. But no, he just has "power of attorney!"

Linkara: Again, WHAT IS THE JOKE?!

Linkara (v/o): Anyway, the Golden Ringer spots a Putty, one of the foot soldiers that the Rangers often dealt with. And this may be a subtle bit of parody, but the Golden Ringer does seem to be drawn without breasts, acknowledging the fact that the show, since it used footage from a Japanese series, changed the gender of one of the Rangers so they could have two women on a team. Buuut, for all I know, it could just be the lazy, crappy artwork.

Golden Ringer: I tawt I taw a Putty...

Scarlet Ringer: That's silly!

Golden Ringer: No, it wasn't a Silly Putty!

Linkara: And like Silly Putty, (holds up comic) this thing is flammable. (closes book and looks at cover) Don't give me any ideas, comic; I've already gotten complaints from people about the lack of literal burning that occurs on this show!

Linkara (v/o): The Ringers yawn as more Putties attack.

Scarlet Ringer: Oh. I am so scared.

Black Ringer: I am absolutely trembling from the thought that they might defeat us... despite the fact that they haven't beaten us the last three hundred and eighty-seven times they've tried.

Linkara (v/o): Okay, above all things, I am fair, so yeah, it's good that they're parodying that fights with the Putties almost always go their way, but by that same chord, they were never afraid of them; it's just that they're enemies and they can still do damage. It has nothing to do with them being afraid of the Putties. We cut to Lord Zedd, or rather, Lord Zzzzz, or Snoring Noise or whatever, where he's watching the fight through... a crystal ball? The hell? Oh, and there's even a parody of Goldar named Goldarn... who is a dog with a Sphinx hat on his head? And the word "Bad Guy" written on his chest? They did understand what they were parodying, right? (a shot of Goldar from the original Power Rangers pops up briefly) Goldar was a flying monkey, not a dog. And why is "Bad Guy" tattooed on his chest? Is it supposed to be parodying the fact that the villains are transparently evil? Well, yeah, the show is for kids. Not every show needs to have deep, psychological issues with the villains. Sometimes, it's just fun to have cool-looking villains fight our heroes.

Lord Zzzzz: Those Power Ringers are beating my Putties again! Why aren't they terrified?

Goldarn: Maybe because nobody finds Putty scary?

Linkara: They're not supposed to be scary! Not to mention, you just made this joke on the previous page, only that was done better, since having the Rangers actually yawn during the attack imply the boring, repetitive nature of some of the fights! This is just spelling it out for idiots!

Linkara (v/o): Then again, only idiots would buy this – or people unfortunate enough to review things on the Internet. Lord Zazzle says they'll send down a monster, in this case, a giant spider with boxing gloves and... Nike shoes? The hell? Also, I freely admit to being a complete dork here, but I can't help but notice that the giant spider is in three segments, when arachnids only have two segments. It also has "Big Daddy Bug Thing" written on it.

Linkara: Oh, because the monsters in Power Rangers always had stuff written on them. (beat) No, they didn't. This is just bizarre.

Green Ringer: Ewww, a spider! Ick!

Golden Ringer: Ewwww, a spider! Ick!

Blue Ringer: Ewww, a spider! Ick!

Scarlet Ringer: Observe! An arachnid! Ick!

Linkara (v/o): Was that supposed to be a joke about Billy always speaking in technobabble on the show? Well, maybe it would be, except for the fact that the parody of the Red Ranger is the one who said it!

Linkara: Then again, maybe that's just another reason why this shouldn't have been in black and white, since the letterer can't tell the difference between shades!

Scarlet Ringer: Let's call our Zaurs!

Golden Ringer: Why don't we ever do that when the Putty's–

Linkara (v/o): Oh, wonderful, a spelling error!

(Because Poor Literacy Is... Completely Expected In This)

Golden Ringer: Why don't we ever do that when the Putty's show up? I mean, we know a monster's on the way!

Linkara: (listlessly) Because Zordon set up rules for them on the first episode, one of them being, never escalate a fight unless the enemy forces you to. Yeah, it's incredibly stupid, but there is a reason why they don't do it.

Linkara (v/o): And hell, from a practical standpoint, the Zords probably consume a lot of energy and fuel, and you shouldn't bring them out when you all have weapons that can take down a normal-sized monster easily.

Scarlet Ringer: If you're so full of questions, why don't you ask why you turn into a boy when you become a Power Ringer?

Linkara: Oh, so they did know about it; it's not because of the crappy artwork. However, the artwork is still crappy.

This guide is unfinished. Please finish it. Thanks.

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