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NC2011

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Episodes

NC2008 NC2009 NC2010 NC2011 NC2012 NC2013 List Of Nostalgia Critic Episodes

2011

Episode Number Name Episode Length Description Channel Awesome Outro Date Released
145 Neverending Story III (1994) 27:54 The Critic starts by crying uncontrollably while making his introduction. He is appalled at the changes made to the old characters, the poorly written new characters, plot holes, and the bad visuals, with Jack Black's acting the only remotely positive quality of the film. He is also horrified by the Rock Biter's rendition of "Born to Be Wild", resulting in the Critic using a crowbar to destroy the DVD at the end. The Empress: "We must not give in to the Nasty." January 4th, 2011
146 Ferngully 2 (1998) 19:19 After unsuccessfully trying to recruit the Nostalgia Chick to help him like she did with the first movie, the Critic finds it confusing as to how the first film was successful enough to spawn a sequel. Though he likes the premise of exploring the temptations of the human world, he is not impressed by the weak story, sloppy animation, and underdeveloped characters. Mother: (slow motion) "MY BAABYY!" January 11th, 2011
147 Secret of Nihm 2 (1998) 21:01 After donning SWAT gear to review the sequel to one of his favorite films, he criticizes how the movie ignores Mrs. Brisby, the inferior animation, and the idiotic plot and characters. He is especially critical of how much praise and reverence the main character Timmy receives even though he has done nothing to earn it. Special criticism is reserved for the revelation that Timmy's brother is the villian, through he gives credit to Eric Idle's over-the-top performance. In the end the Critic orders the Death Star to destroy the DVD. Evil Martin: (singing) "If you just say, YES!" January 18th, 2011
148 Carebears 2 (1986) 25:19 Sequel Month is almost over...and the Critic has saved the worst for last. He starts off by saying that the first film had a comprehensible plot and an interesting villain, but the sequel has none of that. He is perplexed at how the characters break the fourth wall and in the end, the villain at the end becomes "a real boy" (making the Critic wonder if Pinocchio has a similar backstory). At various points, Bennett The Sage appears as the Devil, explaining the inconsistencies and plot holes as parts of his masterplan. After the review, The Critic deals with Satan to have his memories erased of the films he had watched during Sequel Month. Sage agrees to do so after the Critic transfers all his funds to Sage's PayPal account, then proceeds to jump off a cliff at Sage's absentminded suggestion. Darkheart: "Time for a game of disappearing bears." January 25th, 2011
149 Dungeons and Dragons (2000) 26:30 Rather gleefully, the Critic describes this as akin to The Room or Troll 2: a rare film that just manages to get everything WRONG. Despite having never played the game, the Critic is able to find plenty of material to comment on, such as Marlon Waynes' insufferable character, the inexplicable blue lipstick worn by the main henchmen, Jeremy Irons' overacting, Thora Birch's underacting, the Fourth Doctor (I mean) Tom Baker's cameo, ripping off Indiana Jones, and the unexplained ending. Marina: "I'M NOT!" February 1st, 2011
150 Top 11 Dumbest Spider-Man Moments 27:12

Here are the top 11 dumbest moments in the Spidey movies!

  • 11. The American flags all over the place.
  • 10. All those pointless characters.
  • 9. The extras in Spider-Man 2.
  • 8. The effects in Spider-Man 1.
  • 7. Little to no Venom in Spider-Man 3.
  • 6. That cock-tease romance.
  • 5. Doctor Octopus's robotic arms.
  • 4. The dialogue from Spider-Man 1.
  • 3. Emo Peter.
  • 2. Willem DaFoe as The Green Goblin.
  • 1. The dance scene in Spider-Man 3.
Green Goblin: FINISH IT! FINISH IT! Aunt May: FROM EVIL! February 7th, 2011
151

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

27:22 The Critic finds the movie a disappointing sequel to the 1993 action blockbuster. The story is forced, stupid situations abound, the characters are unlikable, and the heroes get more people killed than saved in the name of preserving the dinosaurs. The Critic says the best thing to come out of the movie is fake cutout promoting King Lear starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Throughout the review, Rob Walker does impersonations of Jeff Goldblum. Ian Malcolm: That's, that's chaos theory. February 15th, 2011
152 Return of the Nostalgic Commercials 28:46 It's the return of commercials! NC takes a seat in his comfy chair to look at more of the sometimes cool, sometimes downright strange commercials from his childhood. He can take no more after an innuendo-laden ad for a fish-deboning tool called the Wunder Boner. Fisherman: My wife would like that. February 22nd, 2011
153 Inspector Gadget 24:20 The Critic has a fondness for the old cartoon, but absolutely despises this film adaptation. Among his major complaints are the casting of Matthew Broderick and Rupert Everett and the poor, seemingly forced attempts to tell jokes. He viciously complains about how certain key aspects of the show are altered or ignored, such as the entire character of Dr, Claw (and why his face can be seen), and how Penny does nothing. He also points out the poor presentation, with random cartoon sound effects, jarring scene transitions, and shots edited to half a second. Overall, he recommends the viewer go back to the video store and say "Go go gadget, refund!" Gadgetmobile: It's a Disney movie! March 1st, 2011
154 Old vs. New: The Karate Kid 21:39 The Critic compares the classic original 1984 film with the impressive 2010 remake (after pretending he was going to compare the orginal to the lame spin-off cartoon). He takes a look at the lead characters (Winner: original), teachers (Winner: remake), villains (Winner: remake), supporting cast (Winner: original), and then finally story. He concludes that, just by a hair, the remake is the better story. While acknowledges its shortcomings (there's no karate!), he feels the change of setting allows for a stronger fish-out-of-water story and scenery, the relationship between the student and teacher is more balanced and stronger, and overall, the story sets a better tone without going too over the top with the cliches. While he believes the original is a great film that will always be remembered, the win goes to the 2010 remake. The Critic Singing: Mercy's A Penis! March 8, 2011
155 The Langoliers 27:04 The Critic looks at another Stephen King adaptation, this time without the aid of a drinking game. His major complaints of this 1995 TV miniseries are the very poor CGI, the ridiculous and disappointing payoff to the overall mystery, bizarre logic, and some very over-the-top performances. In particular, Bronson Pinchot's almost cartoonish turn as antagonist Mr. Toomey actually seems to make the Critic happy, allowing for multiple "Perfect Strangers" jokes. He also complains about Dean Stockwell's Shatner-like line delivery, sticking multiple pauses in his dialogue. While the Critic does say there is enough to keep the viewer interested in the story (at least until the end) and some of the actors do a decent job, overall, the film is stupid. Once the review is complete, The Critic and Doc Brown (also Doug) head back in time to see if the past really is eaten by giant mudball monsters. Mr. Toomey: "Scaring the little girl?! Lady!" March 15, 2011
156 Airborne 23:38 The Critic likens this 1993 film to some of the more ridiculous commercials he's reviewed in the past, in that it seems to exist in its own cliched, stereotypical world, full of surfing, rollerblading and EXTREMEness. He's able to take several moments from the film and easily slip them into advertisements for everything from Frosted Flakes to California. He rips into the unlikeable lead character, who has an overly cocky attitude and a borderline unhealthy obsession with catching waves. Also among his complaints are Seth Green's near feminine hairdo, the climatic race that goes for too long, the conflicting "non-violence" message, and the overall blandness of the writing. The Critic sums up the film by pointing out that it does not portray the 90's so much as it portrays how the 90's was marketed.

Nikki: "You're a poet?"

Mitchell: "Nah. I just know what I like."

Shot of face brace guy

March 22, 2011
157 Baby Geniuses 18:59 While attending the Animarathon convention, The Critic takes a look at this 1999 film and is completely drained of all creativity. Speaking entirely in inner monologue, the Critic struggles to figure out how to review a film that left no impact whatsoever. Wandering the con floor in a rage fuelled daze, he reflects on the movie's very shoddy CGI, the repetition of unfunny gags, and the overall poor execution of a stupid premise. Despite finding solace in staring at a blank wall and mouthing off at several con-goers, the Critic feels the film has rendered him powerless and with little will to review. However, he soon realizes that his earlier thoughts about the film count as a full review. Revitalized by this, he goes to meet his fans as his old self again.

Anamatronic Baby: "Baby want a hug!"

Scream.

March 29, 2011
158 Raiders of the Story Arc: X-Men 19:32 The Critic looks at the first two episodes of the original X-Men animated series. He praises the action sequences, the wide variety of characters, and the backstory and premise the two episodes deliver. However, he does criticize how silly the first two episodes can be, including how useless Jubilee's power is and the enormous robots that are sent to apprehend the "mutants". Overall, he determines that the show still holds up. Cyclops: "Of course..... NOT!" April 5th, 2011
159 The Magic Voyage 18:56 Before the review begins, the Critic has a quick psychotic breakdown. He then sums up the movie by describing it as not only bad, but annoying. He also criticizes the fact that a film about American history made by Germans, Dom DeLuise's and Mickey Rooney's inclusion in the film, horrible animation, stereotypical Italian accents, a woodworm and fairy as main characters and total historical inaccuracy. The biggest criticism about the film is how loud it is and the fact "it never shuts up". He ultimately called Bugs Bunny a more accurate history lesson than this German animation. Bevis: "Boioioiiiiinnngg." April 12, 2011
160 Double Team 19:37 The Critic starts off confused as to why the combination of Dennis Rodman and Jean-Claude Van Dam would be good and the fact that even though Rodman takes up the majority of the poster he disappears for most of the film. He goes on to criticize the absurd plot, endless Basketball puns, Van Dam's accent, choppy editing and cliches. However, he saves special praise for the film's climax with Mickey Rourke's character standing on a mine with a blood-thirsty tiger inside a Coliseum with the main characters protecting themselves by hiding behind a Coca Cola machine. Excited by this, he invents a new internet meme, "Frying the Coke" to coincide with "Jumping the Shark" and "Nuking the Fridge". Quinn: "Bank account numbers." April 19th, 2011
161 Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress 20:41

The Critic lists the Damsels-in-Distress who's only purpose is to be rescued and where you wish they'd just be killed.

  • 11. Mary Jane Watson (from Spider-Man)
  • 10. Kayley (from Quest for Camelot)
  • 9. Willie Scott and Shortround (from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom)
  • 8. Robin (from Batman)
  • 7. Inspector Gadget (from the Inspector Gadget animated TV show)
  • 6. Lois Lane (from Superman)
  • 5. Jubilee (from X-Men)
  • 4. Scrappy Doo (from Scooby Doo)
  • 3. Jar Jar Binks (from the Star Wars prequels)
  • 2. Princess Peach (from Super Mario Bros.)
  • 1. Bella Swan (from Twilight)
Scrappy Doo: "Puppy power!" April 26th, 2011
162 Jaws: The Revenge 17:46 He first gives a quick overview of the declining history of the Jaws series. The review focuses on the absurd revenge plot by the shark and the fact it follows the Brody family from America to the Bahamas. He also points out the strange mood swings by Ellen Brody, the fact that Rory Schnider's character died between the two films due to fear of the shark despite fighting it several times and the fact the romance between Ellen Brody and Michael Caine's character gets more time than the actual shark. He's also confused that the shark roars in the same fashion as in a Tom & Jerry cartoon and explodes after being impaled by the front of a boat. Michael: JAAAAAAAAAAKE! May 3rd, 2011
163 Gordy 21:08 Initially believing this 1995 film to be a shameless rip-off of "Babe," the Critic is surprised to learn that "Gordy" was actually released first. This leads him to declare that "pigs becoming famous" should be its own film genre. His main gripes with the film are the multitude of awkward scenes, the lack of dialogue from the talking pig, and the overall stupid premise of a pig becoming big on Wall Street. He also finds the explanation for how people can understand animals to be fairly stupid, leading him to have a nasty encounter with a pan. In the end, he feels the only good thing to take away from this film is the "Pig Power in the House" rap song, which he dances to during the review's closing credits. Gilbert: "Go play your banjo, Goober!" May 10, 2011
164 The OTHER Animatred Titanic 24:26 After an opening parodying Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (where Rob, dressed as Palpatine, tells the Critic, dressed as Darth Vader, that really exists another Titanic cartoon), the critic reviews The Legend of the Titanic (1999). He considers this film even worse than the 2001 ripoff. While stating that the animation is better, he criticizes the inaccuracies (such as having everyone surviving the sinking), dubbing, communication between humans and animals, having the ship being sunk by the ploy of whalers and evil sharks (as well as a dog-faced giant octopus!) and the movie changing its focus to whaling rather than the Titanic. At the end of the review the Critic hopes that no more bad spin-offs of the Titanic will be made. The DVD cover of the sequel, Tentacolino (2006) appears, leading the Critic to screams Darth Vader's "NO!" in agony. In the credits the Critic writes, "PS - I'm NOT reviewing the Tentacles movie". Ronny: "There's one thing I'm not and that's a racist" May 17, 2011
165 Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials 22:36 This is the Critic's third nostalgic commercial compilation. Generally, he comments on advertising techniques that appear false, nonsensical or confusing. Special criticism is reserved for the "Slim Suit", whose commercials claimed the user would lose weight simply by wearing it and a commercial about the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation featuring Mary Tyler Moore. Winston: "That's a big twinkie." May 24th, 2011
166 Once Upon a Forest 20:31 The Critic reviews Once Upon a Forest (1993). He criticizes the stupid and predictable environmentally-themed plot, and the over-the-top performance of Michael Crawford (along with his questionable musical talent). He does give the film credit for taking a few more risks, such as showing that humans are not entirely destructive, and acknowledges that it is not the worst of its kind. Hurmorosly in the intro and end of the review, as the viewer's persective, it was changing the screen to a porn site. Cornelius: "RRRheumatism." May 31st, 2011
167 Little Nemo 22:44 The Critic reviews Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1989). While he lends high praise to the animation, he criticizes the confusing plot, poorly-developed characters, annoying and boring main character, the intro credits, and clichéd fantasy environment of Slumberland. Special criticism is reserved for the film's tendency to break the story's flow with Nemo's numerous false awakenings. Nemo: "YIPPIE!" June 7th, 2011
168 Old vs New: True Grit 17:32 The Critic compares the 1969 and 2010 "True Grit" films:

Best Mattie: 2010 Version (Hailee Steinfeld) Best Cogburn: 2010 Version (Jeff Bridges) Best Supporting Cast: 2010 Version Best Villains: 1969 Version Best Story: 2010 Version The 2010 version wins over the 1969 version, 4-1, although the Critic does not believe that this score represents his opinion well.

Bear Guy: "I have his teeth." June 14th, 2011
169 Nostalgia Critic (sort of): Transformers 3 Review 6:51 As with past reviews of the series, The Critic starts to review Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) in the same hyperactive way he did in his reviews of the first two films. However, while doing this, he suddenly gets sued by Chester A. Bum for stealing his style. A court (led by General Zod) allows Chester to do the review (as well as any future 'jump cut' reviews). N/A July 5th, 2011
170 Milk Money 20:03 The Critic reviews Milk Money (1994). He criticizes the amount of screenwriting cliches, horrible jokes (at one point, sending the movie to Hell for an especially horrible joke), and sexually disturbing scenes. He is especially outraged by the scene where one of the main characters brings V (Melanie Griffith) for an oral report in school, ultimately pointing out five flaws that make the scene purely nonsensical. Waltzer: "I'm going to the sock 'op!" July 12th, 2011
171 Rad 19:19 The Critic reviews Rad (1986). He criticizes the film for its poorly-developed plot, uninteresting characters, the highly repetitive biking stunts, and the abruptness of the ending. The only factor of the film he lends praise to is the fairly realistic bike crashes. Special criticism is reserved for the unconvincing romance between the main protagonist Bill Allen and Lori Loughlin. Cru: "Katie and I are like...special." July 19th, 2011
172 Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales 22:04 Let's look at Duck Tales, in which the main character was so rich he made a swimming pool of gold coins and regularly dived into it... El Capitan: "Golllddd!" July 26th, 2011
173 Care Bears in Wonderland 21:45 The NC finishes off the FINAL Care Bears movie! Thank God! Alice: "I'm just not...special." August 2nd, 2011
174 Cop and a Half 19:25 NC reviews one of the biggest family blunders of the 90s starring Mr. Moustache himself, Burt Reynolds. Nick McKenna: "DEVON!!!" August 9th, 2011
175 Top 11 Batman: The Animated Series Episodes 27:05 NC looks at the best episodes of one of the greatest TV shows of all time! Killer Croc: "It was a BIG rock! August 16th, 2011
176 Alaska 19:35 Charlton Heston trying to gun down a Polar Bear? You sure this is fiction? Perry: "I want that BEAR!" August 23rd, 2011
Special Top 11 NC's I (Doug) Will Never Do 21:09

See which movies and shows Doug will never look at EVER for a Nostalgia Critic review.

  • 11. Watership Down
  • 10. A Goofy Movie
  • 9. Spiderman the Animated Series
  • 8. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes/Killer Klowns from Outer Space
  • 7. Toys
  • 6. The Nutcracker starring the Care Bears
  • 5. Cats Don't Dance
  • 4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3
  • 3. The Brave Little Toaster
  • 2. Anything Sonic-related
  • 1. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
N/A August 28th, 2011
Special Batman TAS Commentary 27:05 Sorry, no new NC this week, but enjoy a look back at what went in to one of the most inspirational shows for Doug. N/A August 30th, 2011
Special The Other Animated Titanic Commentary 24:26 Doug and Rob ask the question...what WERE they thinking? N/A September 4th, 2011
177 Let's Play Bart's Nightmare 25:34 NC decides to try something different and does a Let's Play of Bart's Nightmare, a Super Nintendo Simpsons game known for it's difficulty. NC hated the game... but the fans hated the Let's Play more. Bart: "Uh oh!" September 6th, 2011
178 James and the Giant Peach 22:28 The fans hate Let's Play Bart's Nightmare so much, it looks like NC will have to appease them by...praising a movie he hates! Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spiker: "Work, work, work, work, work!" September 13th, 2011
179 The Avengers 19:16 NC gets the chance to review The Avengers... unfortunately, this isn't the upcoming Joss Whedon-directed Marvel film but rather massive stinker starring Batman and Robin's very own Uma Thurman... how did her career survive such bad film choices anyway? Sir August de Wynter: "One should never fear being wet." September 20th, 2011
180 Simon Sez 27:13 The red-headed wonder herself (Lupa) helps the NC review the greatest pairing in cinema history...Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook. Pray for them. Nick: *Chewbacca noises* September 27th, 2011
181 The Tommyknockers 25:32 Why do Stephen King Mini-Series bring us so much joy? Hilly: "All warm and safe and toasty!" October 4th, 2011
182 The Haunting 30:35 Is this one of the worst remakes of all time? If you liked the original, yes. Luke: "Reeaally creepy." October 11th, 2011
183 Blair Witch 2 - Book of Shadows 25:59 Did the first one make you motion sick? Just try stomaching the story of this one. Notable for having almost nothing to do with the first film and never even mentioning the titular Book of Shadows. Stephen: "I swear to Christ!" October 18th, 2011
184 Exorcist 2 23:06 Wrapping up Nostalgia-Ween with one of the strangest sequels ever! Regan: "I was possessed by a demon." October 25th, 2011
185 Doug's First Movie 21:39 By popular demand, the NC looks at a movie based off his most hated show. Robocrusher: *weakly* "Roger? Roger... Roger..." November 1st, 2011
186 The Cell 26:42 Before you see The Immortals, take a look at what the director made long, long before. Peter Novak: "If we can't stop him, he ain't gonna stop himself." November 8th, 2011
187 Superman - The Animated Series 19:01 Take a look at the origins of the hit cartoon! Lois: "Nice 'S'!" November 15th, 2011
Special Top 11 Reasons He'll Never Review Digimon 0:32 NC sharing his opinion of a beloved, copyrighted anime cartoon on the Internet? Not if Protect IP has anything to say about it! N/A November 16th, 2011
188 Felix the Cat - The Movie 22:39 They'll make a flick out of anything, won't they? Felix: "Hahahahahaha!" November 22nd, 2011
189 Moulin Rouge 44:52 A film of this magnitude must be bitched about through song! The Duke: "I JUST DON'T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE TOUCHING MY THINGS!" November 29th, 2011
190 Babes in Toyland 26:20 Keanu Reeves and Drew Barrymore? YAY! 1986? NAY! Jack: "Over my dead body!" ("body" sounding like "butt") December 6th, 2011
191 The Grinch 19:49 Why was this even made, and more importantly... exactly how did it get such a massive cult following? Grinch: "Well, pucker up and kiss it, Whoville!" December 15th, 2011
192 Child's Play 23:25 NC and Phelous take a look at the timeless holiday classic.......Child's Play? Andy: "This IS the end, 'friend.'" December 20th, 2011


All NC reviews can be found here.

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