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2012Edit

Episode Number Name Episode Length Description Channel Awesome Outro Date Released
193 Santa Claus The Movie (1985) 21:41 Christmas isn't over until NOSTALGIA CRITIC says it's over! B.Z.: "FOR FREE?!" January 3rd, 2012
194 Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) 24:01 Star Trek Month has officially begun! While viewing the movie (with the assistance of Chester A. Bum), the Critic soon discovers the main criticism leveled at it; namely, its very slow pacing. This eventually leads to the Critic and Angry Joe carrying out a skit parodying the famous "KHAAAAN" moment from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. After eventually getting through the review, the Critic admits that he found many of the ideas in TMP interesting, but thought that the bad pacing ruined the movie. Lt. Ilia: "My oath of celibacy is on record, Captain." January 12th, 2012
195 Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock (1984) 20:35 Is Spock really worth looking for? After a review in which he has a brief cross-over with Sci-Fi Guy and is greatly saddened by the death of Kruge's pet (nicknamed "Ballsack"), the Critic says that while III does feel more like an episode than a movie, he still considers it to be good, and easily the best of the odd-numbered films. Alien: "Genesis?!" January 17th, 2012
196 Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier (1989) 25:33 What DOES God need with a star ship? The Critic finds this to be a very, very bad movie with awful special effects and worse attempts at humor, with only some good character moments between Kirk, Spock and McCoy saving it from being the worst Star Trek movie. Spock: "In that case, I have little choice but to sample your beans." January 24th, 2012
197 Star Trek 7: Generations (1994) 23:28 Two of the greatest Star Trek captains of all time MAKING EGGS! BE THERE! Unsurprisingly, the Critic finds the film to be a complete waste of the potential offered by Captains Kirk and Picard meeting up to battle alongside each other, and also finds Data's "emotion chip" subplot to be extremely annoying. NC also considers the fact that Picard learns of the deaths of his brother and nephew to be unnecessary grim. The only real saving graces are the crash landing of the Enterprise-D, which the Critic rates as one of the best special effects in movie history, and that the movie does feel significant despite its chaotic storyline. Data: (singing) "You tiny little lifeforms!" January 31st, 2012
198 Star Trek 9: Insurrection (1998) 26:55 Linkara joins the review, but is this REALLY the worst Star Trek film ever? Despite the Critic being driven to despair by Linkara's geekiness and nitpicking, both reviewers eventually conclude that it is the worst Star Trek film, as unlike the others it leaves the audience with absolutely nothing memorable. Linkara has serious issues with the aliens that the Enterprise-E crew are fighting to protect and accuses them of being a bunch of jerks, while the Critic just finds the movie to be boring and totally forgettable. After cutting the transmission from Linkara off, the Critic briefly shares his thoughts on Star Trek 10: Nemesis, which he admits somewhat enjoying due to the good action sequences and the performances given by Patrick Stewart and Tom Hardy, but thought the film as a whole was badly written and a poor send-off for the Star Trek: TNG crew. Anij: "No more questions." February 7th, 2012
199 Patch Adams (1998) 29:17 The Critic is driven to furious anger over this Robin Williams dramedy "based on a true story". He mainly finds the film to be completely misleading in its portrayal of trying to find a new way of administering care to patients and notes that Patch is portrayed as a jackass who practices medicine without a licence and steals medical suppies from a hospital. The Critic learns that the love interest (who is MURDERED!) in the film actually never existed in real life and actually defeats the message that the film is trying to give that doctors should attempt to connect with patients emotionally. At the end of the review, the Critic talks about the REAL Patch Adams who hated the film and also thought it was misleading. Patch: "What's wrong with death, sir?" February 14th, 2012
200 Ponyo (2008 in Japan, 2009 in US) 22:59 In honor of his 200th episode, The Critic decides to review this Hayao Miyazaki fantasy about a fish who turns into a little girl and how it disrupts life on land and at sea. The Critic makes it clear to anime fans that he means no harm to the film and is frequently punished by special guest stars who believe he will hate the film. However, there are some things that the Critic finds wrong with the film, including the mother's reckless driving and the "end of the world" subplot. While he is summing up his feelings on the film, he ends up insulting Howl's Moving Castle which leads The Critic to getting beat up by the anime fans. Ponyo: "HAAAAMMMMM!" February 21st, 2012
201 Dunston Checks In (1996) 15:05 The Critic is enraged over this 1996 comedy for one simple reason: "MONKEYS AREN'T FUNNY!" He ponders as to what bad things that good actors like Jason Alexander and Faye Dunaway have done to be punished to be put in this film. The Critic is dismayed to see Rupert Everett trying to out-bad his Dr. Claw performance (even though "Dunston" came out before "Inspector Gadget"). He singles out Paul Reubens, Pee-Wee himself, as an eccentric hired exterminator as a positive. All in all, the Critic despises all of the things that the movie thinks is funny which isn't really funny and all of its boring cliches. Buck: "You think it might be cute to put a baby orangutan in your kid's basket." February 28th, 2012
Special Ponyo Commentary 22:59 See what went into making the 200th episode. N/A March 4th, 2012
202 Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2000) 20:50 The Critic is dumbfounded that two great actors like Peter Fonda and Alec Baldwin could wind up in this obscene 2000 kids' fantasy-comedy. Fonda plays an excessively depressed character, while Baldwin plays an excessively happy character. He gets frustrated over the lack of mouth movement for the talking train characters. The Critic mocks the Conductor's catchphrase, "Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle," and slowly comes to the conclusion that Baldwin simply lost his mind on set. He also complains about the plot becoming too needlessly complicated. Burnett Stone: "Because the magic you refused to believe in will get the better of you." March 6th, 2012
203 The Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part III 17:18 With the 'help' of Douchey McNitpick, Nostalgia Critic looks at another list of his mistakes.
  • 11. Disneycember Mistakes (Specifically, mistakes found in The Aristocats, The Rescuers Down Under, A Goofy Movie, and Tarzan)
  • 10. Psychiatrists do have to go to medical school (Patch Adams)
  • 9. Don't review the movie if you haven't seen the show (Thomas and the Magic Railroad)
  • 8. Pee-Wee's floor did talk (Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks)
  • 7. Soren couldn't fly into the Nexus (Star Trek Generations)
  • 6. Dunston's an ape, not a monkey (Dunston Checks In)
  • 5. Tapping on the windows can hurt whales (Free Willy)
  • 4. That's a pan, not a pot (from Gordy)
  • 3. Let's Play Bart's Nightmare
  • 2. Bella didn't want to marry Edward (Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress)
  • 1. Misunderstanding planet Psychlo (Battlefield Earth)


Note: Following the upload of this episode, Doug Walker was quickly informed that, while speaking on the subject, he once again referred to a pan as a pot. As a result, Walker announced on Facebook that this was to be the final Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups episode due to his trouble with keeping track of errors that could pop-up in videos such as this.

Nostalgia Critic ranting maniacally. March 13th, 2012
204 Richie Rich (1994) 18:15 The Critic doesn't quite know what to make of this 1994 live-action adaptation of a famous comic strip. Because of all the recent financial troubles the country is in, he talks about how it's no longer good to see rich people flaunt their money around. He notices that Macaulay Culkin's voice has aged dramatically. The Critic is horrified by mean children's use of the word "NOT!!!!" and how they are simply token identities of stereotypes. He also doesn't like how Richie is somehow a great businessman, even though he's a kid. Professor Keenbean: "MY INVENTIONS!" March 20th, 2012
Phelous (shows) Child's Play 2 (1990) 25:03 Nostalgia Critic and Phelous are up to child's play again. Will Chucky take over Andy's body this time? Yes, yes he will and the other movies in the series don't exist. "Drunken Tarzan" scream March 22nd, 2012
205 Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 19:52 The Critic has gone on a treacherous expedition into the "curiously echoey jungle" to track down the feces of this horrendous 1997 Tim Allen comedy. He quickly realizes that none of the characters in the film are remotely likable. The Critic wonders why there are things that don't belong in a Disney film like stock market lingo, pigeons being killed, kids looking at "pushy-bushy", the Russian Mafia and polygamy. He singles out Martin Short's Oscar moment by talking a fish. JoBeth Williams screaming. March 27th, 2012
206 Old vs New: Manhunter vs Red Dragon (1986 & 2002) 16:33 Which cannibal thriller has more bite? The NC compares and contrasts these two films based off the same novel to see which one holds up the best. Lecter: "Would you like to leave me your home phone number?" April 10th, 2012
207 Star Chaser (1985) 23:58 Devil Sage has returned to torment the Critic! He brings with him this poorly-received and dumb animated 1985 science-fiction action movie. They quickly poke fun at the film's claim to be "the best 3D movie ever made", which no longer makes sense in this day and age. The Critic points out that a little blind boy's voice sounds like nothing but whining. He becomes horrified at the characters who take the lead, Orin, prisoner. Together, they quickly point out that the film is nothing more than an animated ripoff of Star Wars. The Critic is stunned to see Dagg essentially rape a fembot. Zygon: "The Kha-Khan has returned." April 17th, 2012
208 Transformers Cartoon (1984) 24:33 Optimus Prime is at a comic book convention, hosting auditions for Michael Bay's Transformers 4. He's so depressed that he begins remembering his animated past in the '80s and the first three episodes of "The Transformers" and it's not as good as he remembers. Sally: "Yes! Yes! *Transform sound* Oh... Oh..." April 24th, 2012
209 A Simple Wish (1997) 23:08 The Critic can't help but criticize the career of former child actress Mara Wilson, who has just as many crappy movies to be in as her former child star peers. But this particular 1997 family fantasy comedy (from The Bubble Factory) is something to behold... something badly. An actor like Martin Short can be funny, but he's constantly on the "Over the Top Alert". The Critic admits that there are some good scenes between Wilson and her on-screen father, but the quirky Short is often screwing things up. He has to question whether or not Short's character's mistakes (ex. turning a redneck into a 50-foot rabbi) or something far more sinister. The Critic also doesn't care much for Kathleen Turner's villainous performance, mostly for its lack of focus. Throughout the review, he flat out says, "What the fuck am I looking at?" However, he gets a very special guest at the end of the review, who has something against the Critic's opinion. Mara Wilson: "You're a regular Daniel Day-Lewis." Critic: "Shut up!" May 1st, 2012
210 Alien: Resurrection (1997) 22:40 In the aftermath of Joss Whedon's wildly successful superhero film The Avengers and before Ridley Scott's Prometheus (somehow related to his hit film Alien) hits theaters, The Critic decides to look at the only Alien film that Joss Whedon wrote (and subsequently despised). He questions the acting of Winona Ryder (whom he compares to a precursor to a child's temper tantrum) and the director's obsession with putting her and Sigourney Weaver into a lesbian relationship. The Critic also doesn't like the very un-Alien Aliens in the film who practically let their prey get away from them. He wonders why Ripley would recklessly and pointlessly incinerate all of her deformed clones which could lead to another Alien attack. The Critic is particularly enraged at the less-violent use of the notable Facehuggers from the series. He questions the logic in a plot twist involving Winona Ryder. All in all, he still pledges to give Prometheus a chance. Johner: "Must be a chick thing." May 8th, 2012
211 Jack (1996) 22:53 Another film starring repeat offender Robin Williams, however while he is known for picking bad movies to star in, the Critic is astonished to learn that this movie is directed by none other than Francis Ford Coppola. The film concerns the titular Jack being born with a hyper-rare aging disease that makes him appear forty years old when he reaches ten years old, however the biggest problem the Critic has with this film is that Jack acts far too immature for a ten-year old boy. Other problems include Fran Drescher's annoying character, two large time jumps during the course of the film, a pointless bar/jail scene and jaunty music being played over an emotional moment. In the end, the Critic states that despite a couple of nice scenes this film is ultimately a pointless exercise, with plenty of other films doing the 'child in an adult's body' plot far better. Dolores: (in typical Fran drawl) "Wooowww!" May 15th, 2012
212 Heavy Metal (1981) 27:20 The Critic teams-up with the God-Empress of Haganistan herself to look at this cult cartoon. Crab people: "Yaaay!" May 22nd, 2012
213 Mr. Magoo (1997) 18:39 You'd have to be blind as a bat to not see the problems with this film. Stupak: "No one has ever been able to finger her." May 29th, 2012
214 Top 11 Simpsons episodes 23:28

The Critic takes a look at his favourite episodes of the cartoon that was definitely not cancelled before its time:

Homer: "Mono... d'oh!" June 5th, 2012
215 Signs (2002) 28:26 Back when people still liked M. Night Shyamalan, but God knows why. Ray: "It's like it was meant to be." June 12th, 2012
Special A Simple Wish Commentary 23:08 How DID we get Mara Wilson? N/A June 19th, 2012
216 Digimon The Movie (2000) 26:14 With constant demand for him to review Digimon, yet having no interest in the show itself, the Critic decides to do a crossover with JesOtaku. Instead of reviewing the series, they instead end up reviewing the mishmashed Digimon Movie! Angry Joe: "I deserve a Joe Signal, Critic!" July 3rd, 2012
217 The Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes 21:53 MEEEEEEUSIC!


  • 11. The Lord of the Rings
  • 10. James Bond
  • 9. Mission: Impossible
  • 8. The Terminator
  • 7. Tie between Indiana Jones and Superman
  • 6. Pirates of the Caribbean
  • 5. Mortal Kombat
  • 4. Gonna Fly Now from Rocky
  • 3. The Batman theme by Danny Elfman
  • 2. Conan the Barbarian
  • 1. Back to the Future
(Mortal Kombat music followed by a punch) July 10th, 2012
218 Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) 22:40 While at ConnectiCon, the Critic is left in a comatose state after watching Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2. Uncle Yo and Brentalfloss find the Critic, who relives the horror of the film. Despite their best attempts to revive him, the two are forced to drag the comatose Critic to a Q&A panel. After the review, the Critic escapes his comatose state, but shocks everyone by saying that Baby Geniuses 2 was still terrible, but better than its predecessor for attempting to have a plot. Afterward, Team Four Star enters and joins the Critic in reading 50 Shades of Grey in different voices. Bill: "I'm Bill Biscane and if you touch my diapers, you're fired!" July 17th, 2012
219 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) 28:08 Just a simple story about a man and his Willie. Willie: (high pitched voice) "I'm a singer! I could lose my voice!" July 24th, 2012
220 The Wiz (With ToddInTheShadows)(1978) 26:07 I wonder if the wizard can get me a new script... Tinman: (crying) July 31st, 2012
221 Total Recall (With Sci-Fi Guy) (1990) 20:43 Get your ass to dis review! Quaid: "...Just shove real hard." August 7th, 2012
222 Scooby Doo (2002) 34:12 Scooby-Doo hits the big screen, while the Critic hits the puke bags! The Critic reviews Scooby Doo (2002) with the help of his future and past selves. They all criticize the film for failing to be both a satire and an homage to the source material with bad jokes & effects, mean spirited moments, the characters being nothing like in the original series and the usage of supernatural elements, something the original series stated did not exist. Special criticism is reserved for the revelation that Scrappy Doo is the villain. In the middle of the review, the Critic ends up in Purgatory where he reunites with his guardian angel Roger, who cryptically tells him that the world is ending thanks to the review, and the Critic (plus his past and future selves), blow themselves up with their DVD copies. The Critic returns to the real world after returning to Purgatory and plays Poker with Dino-Rob, 80s Dan, and the Ghost of Christmas Future, a parody of the Star Trek: The Next Generation finale "All Good Things...". Fred: "I can look at myself naked." August 14th, 2012
Phelous (shows) Child's Play 3 (1991) 23:18 Nostalgia Critic and Phelous team up once again to tackle the final Child's Play film. NC: "Life and death is already very confusing for you just to throw this on top, just with your mere existence."
NC's Casper: "I've been to Hell!"
August 22, 2012
Special Reefer Madness & Commentary 22:36 From TGWTG Volume 2 - the formally DVD only episode of NC, now available for all to watch Bill: "Gosh! Hot chocolate!" September 18th, 2012
Special Scooby Doo Commentary 34:12 Rob and Doug take a look at the last episode. N/A September 19th, 2012
Special The Top 11 Nostalgia Critic Episodes 31:22 Which ones are Doug's favorite?



Runners up include Thomas and the Magic Railroad, You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, It, Scooby-Doo, The Wizard, The Room and Batman & Robin.

N/A September 25th, 2012
Special Blues Brothers Video Game & Commentary 12:55 Another DVD extra review for you to view. N/A October 2nd, 2012
Special Worst NC Reviewed Movies Ever 52:13 The worst of the worst that the NC has ever had to look at. Be warned, the number one spot goes on for QUITE a bit.


N/A October 9th, 2012
Special Turkish Rambo Review & Commentary 18:04 Hey kids, love Rambo? NOT ANYMORE! See NC review from the Volume 1 DVD of one of the strangest remakes ever! N/A October 16th, 2012
Special Digimon the Movie Commentary 26:31 See what went into making one of the most requested videos. N/A October 16th, 2012
Special NC's Top 11 Favorite Jokes 35:47 See what Doug's favorite NC jokes of all time are.


N/A October 23rd, 2012
Special Doomsday Machine (1972) 22:16 A Volume 3 DVD Exclusive, now available for all to watch! Danny: "Don't you miss being a woman?" November 16th, 2012
Special Making of an NC Episode (Vol. 3 DVD) 26:32 Did you ever want to know how an episode of Nostalgia Critic was made? N/A December 22nd, 2012

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