Pokemon-The Electric Tale of Pikachu
Original Air Date
November 11, 2011
Planet of the Symbiotes
All Star Comic 8
(open with Linkara giving a narration) (cut to Linkara where we last left him during his confrontation with The Entity)
Linkara: There is a sound in my nightmares. It is a hiss, a screeching of notes that comes from a game I played as a child. Its shrill and high pitch grating on your soul like nails on a chalkboard. This was no the sound of any natural creature. This was an abomination, a perversion of the programmed perfection of the world. In other times, in other places, and in my book, they called it "The Lost Beast". But to me, it shall forever have a different name.
(Linkara glares, finally speaking and declaring The Entity's name)
Linkara: Missing Number!
(cut to a possessed 90's Kid, with glitchy pixelated eyes)
MissingNo: I am The Voiceless. The Never Should. The Beautiful Horror. I am Error. I am Glitch. I am all things terrible and wonderful and everything between. I am MISSING.
Linkara: This is impossible. You're not some LoveCraftian demon, you're a glitch in a video game! A random scramble of pixels because the game is trying to call data where none exists!
MissingNo: I am the outer god that looks in, and beholds a reality that lacks my beauty. (static) I will correct through corruption, until there is nothing left but my totality.
Linkara: Where did you come from?
MissingNo: From another universe. So alike, and yet dislike. (static) I was called into being by wonderous accident, and I spread the Gospel of Error. (static) My cry went out across the multiverse, and brought forth converts to my cause. But also an obstacle.
Linkara: Lord Vyce. He'd been trying to destroy you.
(MissingNo lets out high pitched maniacal laughter to that last sentence)
MissingNo: He was a nuisance, not a threat. (static) He could never hope to destroy my magnificence. (static) However, his attacks diminished me. Made me less. (voice changes from high pitch to loud and booming) IT WAS UNACCEPTABLE! (static) (voice returns to high pitch) I fled to pursue the opportunity to dispose of him without further diminishment. And you were that opportunity- (MissingNo moves and repeats himself from glitches) -were that opportunity.
Linkara: ... I defeated Vyce, took away his power and exiled him.
MissingNo: You performed as well as I could expect, and I was not without gratitude-(MissingNo moves and repeats again)-I was not without gratitude. Humans value their independence, so I left you be while I began my work.
Linkara: The Ninja-Style Dancer saw it coming; knew who you really were.
MissingNo: The ninja had no voice, like me. He fled to find allies, and just found me waiting. (static) My limbs are infinite, and have stretched to every point on this planet.
Linkara: And you absorbed him while I wasn't looking.
MissingNo: He is beautiful now-(MissingNo moves and repeats)-He is beautiful now. (static) Reality is so much more beautiful now. There is nothing left except you, and it is time for you to become part of my beauty.
Linkara: Not today, thank you! (pulls out his magic gun and fires at MissingNo, but it does no damage)
MissingNo: Ah, my worshipers created that, didn't they? Did you think it would diminish me? (MissingNo telekinetically brings the magic gun to his hand, and then turns it into static, absorbing it) You have provided so much amusement, but I am The Never Should, and I already won this game long ago.
Linkara: Nimue! Emergency procedure five: Execute! (Linkara runs to his room, shutting the door as Nimue creates a force field) (MissingNo stands outside the door, laughing his creepy high pitched laugh)
Linkara: ... Nimue, what's your status?
Nimue: (voiced here by Allison Pregler) Information: Malfunctions caused by the Entity's proximity have altered this unit's voice parameters. This unit is cut off from Comicron 1's computer systems due to emergency shielding.
Linkara: Which means no way to transport out of here.
Linkara: What was Comicron 1's status before the shield?
Nimue: Its systems were under attack by the Entity. Estimated total absorption within 20 standard minutes from initial attack. No solution could be calculated to counter the absorption.
Linkara: Which means even if I could get up there, it's not a safe haven. Scan the Entity; can it get past the force field?
Nimue: Based on initial scans, the force field does not pose any obstacle to invading Entity.
Linkara: What?! ... Nimue, analyze and hypothesize; if the force field poses no obstacle or hindrance to the Entity, then why isn't it in here already?
Nimue: Analyzing. Analyzing. Hypothesis: Based on partial psychological profile formulated by its actions in previous months, combined with its dialogue in response to queries and descriptions made by the book you recovered, it is believed that the Entity is toying with you.
Linkara: (stumbles back in shock) ... It can come in whenever it wants, so it's just gonna let me sit here and be frightened.
Nimue: That conjecture would appear to be accurate. Request information: Given the advance time you had and your propensity for strategy, do you not have a plan of attack for your encounter with this creature?
Linkara: ...The magic gun was my plan. I figured that if-if it was created using magic centered around that thing, that maybe it would hurt it or even kill it. ... I've got nothing. A phaser's not gonna hurt it. The dragon dagger isn't gonna hurt it. None of my weapons are gonna be any good against that thing.
Nimue: Conjecture: If this creature is based on something from Pokemon, could you not capture it with a Poke-ball?
Linkara: All of my Poke-balls are out there. And even if I could get to them, that thing has grown so huge and so powerful... I'm not even sure what I'd be throwing a Poke-ball at!
Nimue: Request information: What will you do then?
Linkara: ... I need something to take my mind off of this. I am not going to sit here and be frightened! ... I need to read something. (walks over to his shelf and grabs a set of comics) (The Thing from Another World Issue#1) Too ironic. (toss) (Marville Issue #1) Saving it for next year. (toss) (keeps going through) No. God, no! (finally comes to Pokemon: The Electric Tale of Pikachu #1) Aha!. Now, we've got it.
(After the opening credits, we cut to Linkara sitting on the green futon dressed similar to Ash Ketchum, his fedora is replaced with the red and white Ash cap, his jacket is off, his button up shirt has the sleeves rolled up, and he's wearing fingerless gloves)
Linkara: Hello and welcome to Atop the 4th wall, where bad comics burn. I'm recording this right now despite the fact that it's very, very, very unlikely that anyone will ever see this seeing as I am the only human being still alive. If some how, someone manages to see this, I hope you enjoy it. (beat) I should probably explain some context to the situation I'm in, particularly the franchise known as Pokemon.
(cut to some game play of a 90s Gameboy version of a Pokemon: Blue Version and some footage of the pilot for the anime)
Linkara V/O: Pokemon started as a successful video game series in Japan. The idea is very simple: From this world, the planet is inhabited by semi-sentient beings known as Pokemon, though they're really closer to animals. The entire industry of this planet seems to revolve around Pokemon: Training them, fighting with them, breeding them, using them to commit crimes, etc, etc. Ten year old children can have the unique opportunity of leaving their homes and embarking on a quest to capture Pokemon into devices called Poke-balls and then using them in battles against other peoples Pokemon until you are the best like no one ever was. We won't debate the ethics of animal cruelty or sending young, unprepared children out into the world with only an electric rodent or other such creatures to protect them. Point is: the games are fun. Though my primary complaint with them is that the gameplay hasn't had any innovations to them beyond (cut to a more recent Pokemon game [don't know which one, feel free to edit that] Linkara then speaks as if this what a business man would say) "Lets have more than 2 Pokemon fighting at a time!" (back to normal voice) And for a franchise that's lasted since the mid 90s, that's pretty incredible.
Linkara: And yes I know that there are other games like "Pokemon: Ranger" or "Pokemon: Snap" or stuff like that. But, I still feel like we should have a sandbox Pokemon game or hell, an actual Pokemon fighting game!
(Cut to the Box cover for "Pokemon: Stadium" for the Nintendo 64)
Linkara V/O: And no, "Pokemon: Stadium" and the like do not count. I mean actually being able to control the Pokemon it real time, like in (cut to gameplay of...) "Super Mario Smash Bros!" The Pokemon you could control there were great! (Cut to gameplay of one of the original 2 Pokemon games) Anyway, I should probably explain the horror of what currently menaces us. In the original 2 games, there was a glitch. What you do is go to this old guy in who wants to show you how to catch Pokemon. The Player's Sprite is placed in an empty data slot for storage so the old man's Sprite can appear. After that's completed, you immediately fly to a place called Cinnabar island and surf along the coast. The thing is that the your trainer's data hasn't been called back yet and because the coast of cinnabar island does not have proper data to pertaining to what sort of Pokemon are encountered there, it accesses data that isn't there labeled MissingNo or Missing Number and creates this pack of scrambled pixels. Or in my case when I played, a frickin' skeleton!
Linkara: Try being ten years old, deciding to do the trick, and seeing that instead of what you were supposed to see! Needless to say, I didn't try it again for a while!
(cut back to the gameplay footage of MissingNo)
Linkara V/O: Admittedly what's actually going on with the Missing Number trick is a little more complicated than that brief version. But, my explanation is just the basis of how it works. Missing Number is just a glitch in the game and when people learned about it, they thought the thing was serious bad news, that is could erase your saved game or even entire cartridge. There's been the occasional person who says that it's happened to them, but it's not guaranteed. In reality, seeing it does only 2 things: messes up your hall of fame data and massively duplicates whatever item is in the 6th slot of your inventory. It can cause some other glitches if you catch it, but nothing really to the extremes people were worried about.
Linkara: It is a legend game glitches and in particular Pokemon history. And apparently in a parallel universe, it spawned off into some kind of Outer God that intends to consume and absorb all of reality in every dimension. (we then hear the creepy laughter of Missingno from the living room, still taunting him. Linkara looks a tad scared) And it's standing outside my door! Yeah, it's been a bit of a day!
(cut to the cover for Pokemon: The Electric Tale of Pikachu)
Linkara V/O: However before the end, I feel it's time to finally take a look at a Pokemon comic. People may recall my Top 15 Comics I'll Never Review list and that the top of the list was Manga, which this technically counts as.
Linkara: But hell with it! Douchey McNitpick isn't around to point that out and It looks like I'm gonna die anyway so screw the rules! Lets dig into Pokemon: The Electric Tale of Pikachu #1.
Linkara V/O: I'll admit, according to Wikipedia at least, the manga was just based off of the show, just altered in some spots to better accommodate the format. I'm not sure how to judge the cover or even if i should. Most Manga are published in digest size and this one's the size of a full comic book. Since I know nothing about the production history of the manga that are actually published more like and American comic book, I don't know if this thing is meant to be picked up like a comic book here with a cover makes is stand out from others on a rack. Admittedly, if I knew nothing about Pokemon, I'd be intrigued by the little yellow rodent anf why it's playing with a hamster ball, so props there. We also have our series star Ash Ketchum!
Linkara: And if anyone does hopefully watch this someday, forgive me if I don't care that his Japanese name is Satashi/Satoshi, whatever! He's called Ash in the comic, he's called Ash in the dubbed tv series, (points to himself) and I'm not Japanese!
Linkara V/O: We open in Palet Town, which of course looks more like a town than in the game where the town was 2 houses and a laboratory. We meet our young hero, Ash, as he's drinking what I believe is labeled: "Caffine Cola."
Linkara: I could never stand Caffine Cola myself, I always preferred hydrogen water.
Linkara V/O: Their house is having a black out and Ash thinks there's something in the wall. The wall even speaks, saying: "Pika!"
Linkara: (trying to sound scary) "Ammityville Horror: Electric Tale of Pikachu!"
Linkara V/O: Next page, we see the rodent that the entire franchise has become based around: Pikachu, with a caption helpfully Informing us of its name.
Pokedex (I think, Linkara's impression sounds like the voice on the show): An electric Mouse Pokemon. Diet: Mainly Fruit.
Linkara V/O: And power cables apparently since it seems to be snaking on one. I guess this is actually on the outside of the house since Ash is now hanging out a window trying to catch Pikachu with a net. Pikachu then zaps him and darts off, Ash giving chase.
Mrs. Ketchum: Ash! Catch that thing this instant!
Linkara/Mrs. Ketchum: Yes my 10 year old son! Risk your life to catch a wild animal that shoots lightning bolts while I stand here completely useless.
Linkara V/O: And of course, lots of loud electric sounds follow until Ash finally manages to grab Pikachu with rubber gloves. Pikachu himself is exhausted and his (Ash's) mother tells him to take it out into the woods.
Ash: (to Pikachu) I know you're attracted electricity, but you can't just wander all over town! You'll get run over!
Linkara: Or, knowing how Pokemon attacks work, it'll unleash the thunder of god on some person in their car.
Linkara: However, before Ash can take him to the woods, he's confronted by...
(Justin Tmberlake's "Sexyback" plays. The song plays whenever Gary shows up, as a reference to this song always playing when Duke Devlin speaks on "Yu Gi Oh: Abridged" because both characters are considered cool)
Linkara V/O: Yes, Gary Oak! He's bad, he's cool, and in the tv show he has his own harem of cheerleaders who follow him around un-explicably. Gary Oak: Rock Star of the Pokemon Universe! (music stops) Any way, this is the start of Gary's illustrious career, where he was a major asshole who brags to Ash that he just got his Pokemon trainers license and is going to leave on his Pokemon quest next week.
Gary: Plus, as i'm sure you're well aware, trainers on their training quests are exempt from school!
Linkara: (tad angry) Why? What the hell kinda crappy educational system does this world have that allows kids to just skip school so they can capture animals with magic 8-balls?
Linkara V/O: Gary is nearly disgusted that Ash hasn't gotten his trainer's license yet.
Gary: What a dweeb! The second they turn 10, every kid in the world goes out and gets a Pokemon License!
Linkara: (Angrier ) Then why even have school is every child in the world does this?
Linkara V/O: Gary mocks Ash some more by ... (confused by the picture) Uh, smacking his own ass(?) (Normal) and walking off telling Ash that no self-respecting Pokemon would ever allow to be trained by him. This inspires Ash to make Pikachu his starting Pokemon.
Linkara: (Sarcastically) Our hero, everybody! He pick up strays and makes them fight for him!
Linkara V/O: Back at Ash's house, The TV is working again and we see an important match in a tournament. By the way, allow me to introduce you to Gengar, a ghost type Pokemon!
Linkara: You wanna talk messed up? Lets forget about the whole, "sending 10 year old kids across the land so they can make animals fight eachother" In this universe, ghosts are not only an accepted fact, but you can make the ghosts fight too!
Linkara V/O: Going by just the original games, there were only 3 ghost Pokemon: Ghastly, Haunter, and Gengar and it was pretty heavily implied that when regular Pokemon die, they become those things! We are in a deep, theological nightmare people. What happens to regular humans when they die? Do they become ghost Pokemon? Hell, an entire city, Lavender Town, is devoted to the dead! Is this Idea ever explored? Does this universe have ghost stories? Hell, why would they even need ghost stories? GHOSTS EXIST! AND THEY HAVE SPECIAL ATTACKS! AND THEY SMILE! Well ok, this is for kids after all. I mean, we can probably just ignore the more adult topics. Anyway, Ash runs out to get his trainer's license, but run into Gary's sister May who... (notices May's breasts [and they're hard to not notice]) Yowza! (Confused) Uh, May, either you're an extremely perky person or you may have to recheck how you're wearing your bra, if you even have one at all! Anyway, May wishes Ash luck on his quest and Ash obviously crushing on her, saying that he'll be fine. And is only now, 10 pages in where we actually get exposition on Pokemon universe. Seriously, 2 pages explaining the mythos of Pokemon, completely out of nowhere. One would think to put that at the beginning of the comic. But no, Ash running away from a girl was apparently the moment where we needed this back story.
Pokedex: "Pokemon: The name for a mysterious species not recorded in tradition biological taxonomies. Subspecies include animals, grass, insects, and a variety of other life forms due to similarities in genetic and cellular structure, they must be considered a single species."
Linkara: Considering that some of them are insects, some are grass, and some are friggin' rock monsters, that's one hell of a neat trick that they all share the same similar genetic structures!
Pokedex: When drawn into the capture device known as the Poke Ball, Pokemon become portable. Thus the appeal of Pokemon has spread to people throughout the globe.
Linkara V/O: The technology of the Pokemon universe also astounds me. Poke balls Bassically convert a Pokemon into energy and stores them inside the ball until they are called for. Do they use this technology for anything else? Do warehouse no exist in the Pokemon universe since you can store solid objects inside tiny balls? Is it like suspended animation, where you could theoretically store people in these things too?
Pokedex: Although some appropriated these containers to keep Pokemon as pets, the Pokemon contained within cam be very dangerous... Therefore, only fully licensed trainers and breeders are permitted to handle them.
Linkara: (Angry) Again, TEN YEAR OLDS! 10 year olds that can summon FIRE BREATHING DRAGONS!
Linkara V/O: The process of getting a license is also great.
Pokedex: Applicants must be over 10 years of age and are required to attend a half-day training session before qualifying to take a brief test.
Linkara V/O: (Angry) A training session that lasts only half a day and BAM! You're qualified to command an army of creatures capable of leveling cities if you let them loose! (Normal) The last aspect they explain is evolution, which is kind of inaccurate term to describe this. They explain that normally creatures take millions of years to evolve into different forms. But, Pokemon can do it over the course of their own life times, radically altering at some point so they become entirely new beings.
Pokedex: This ability to adapt to their environment so rapidly is an incredible achievement!
Linkara V/O: Except, they're not! They're not adapting to their environment! Traditional evolution does not have a set direction.The idea of evolution means that we slowly get better when exposed to certain factors. However, there is no way of guaranteeing what the eventual form is going to be. Pokemon evolution, by contrast, always goes in a certain direction (We get a font correction above saying: "Not Counting Evolution Stones") as illustrated by this drawing a of Squirtle turning into a Wartorlte and a Blastoise. It's not evolution, it's just growing up! Hell, in the games, you can actually stop the process so they stay the way they are! Anyway, with the exposition out of the way, Ash takes his test and a week later he's dragging his Pikachu around by a leash. This will later be explained that Pikachu does not like being in a Poke ball and will reject any attempt to be put in one. But, why this hasn't come up until now is anyones guess since he's had the Pikachu for a week now. Ash tries to capture a Pidgey, a basic bird Pokemon, but Pikachu has run off. Pikachu runs all the way to Viridian City and Ash Chases after it. Pikachu Suddenly becoming the Nyan Cat (I think that's what he referred to) for a second as it evades him.
Ash: I've heard that of all Pokemon, Pikachu is considered the most capricious and hardest to tame. And that's why it should be my partner!! Ha ha ha ha ha... I may have beat Gary already without even fighting!
Linkara V/O: Yeah, Ash is kind of a moron. But then again, what would you expect if over half of face is suddenly taken over by your cartoonish eye balls? He lures Pikachu back to him with some food and then suddenly grabs him. Hmm, trying to grab a creature that can shoot out electricity and lightning bolts? I can't see anything going wrong with this plan!
(Ash is electrocuted, electricity sound is heard)
Linkara: Ash Ketchum: that kid who would always poke at a hornets nest!
Linkara V/O: The local police stop by and suggest that Ash keep his Pokemon in a Poke ball. Since Pikachu are hard to handle, they wonder how he's supposed to be some kind of prodigy. But are interrupted by the arrival of...Gary!
("Sexyback" plays again)
Gary: He didn't choose anything. He just dragged Pikachu here on the end of a rope. (music stops)
Linkara: It's been a week, has Ash been just dragging Pikachu around his house like a rag doll?
Linkara V/O: Ash is confident in his abilities, but Gary just laughs him off, especially after Pikachu shows him (Ash) again. Ash is going to have quite the twitch by the time he 11. Gary boasts that it isn't about having one single Pokemon, but having lots and lots of them, showing off that Gary's already captured 6!
Linkara: (Sarcastically) Wow! He already has 6! And considering what Pokemon are available around Palet Town and Viridian City, means he's captured: 2 birds, a rat, a different kind of rat, and a bug!
- That's 5, Gary had 6.
Linkara V/O: After Gary leaves, Ash loudly proclaims that they'll show him! But, Pikachu is already asleep from using his show attack from earlier. Here's where things get a little confusing. We cut to them at night, sleeping in forrest. Then we see Ash leaving Palet Town, saying farewell to his mother and May, who gives him a map and then him declaring that he shall be the best! And then a scene of Pikachu refusing to get in his Poke ball. Okay, what the hell was the point of that? Was he dreaming about what happened? Why not just include it in the proper place before he went to Viridian City? Or did he go to Viridian City and go back again to Palet Town? Ok, admittedly you do that in the game, but there was an actual reason for it! Professor Oak isn't even this comic! Anyway, after Pikachu refuses to go into the ball, Ash tries to make nice with him, offering to shake its paws in agreement (beat) and gets shocked. Hell, in one shot we see part of his clothes are smoldering. I don't think Ash really thought this plan of just taking a wild animal as his starter into consideration. A girl on a bicycle passes by and quickly leaps off her bike when she sees Pikachu, hugging it because it's so cute. And ignoring poor Ash who is still in pain and twitching from being electrocuted. The girl, Misty, tells Ash that it unlikely that he'll end up becoming a trainer considering how difficult it is, listing off the statistics of those who tried to become Pokemon masters and he doesn't exactly look up to snuff. And then just leaves.
Linkara/Ash: (waving good bye) Good bye random girl who just interrupted the plot to provide more exposition!
Linkara V/O: Pikachu runs off again. Are we starting to notice a pattern? Pikachu goes into a field and spots a bird near by, flapping its wings. And apparently flapping its wings is hugely offensive to Pikachu, since it out right shocks the bird for no reason! However, the bird called a Spearow, has a whole flock of its kind that quickly attacks him. Ash finds Pikachu, covered in scars desperately running away from the Spearows. Ash, picks up his companion.
Ash: Are you alright Pikachu!?
Linkara: (Shouting) YELLING IN YOUR EARS IS HELPFUL!
Linkara V/O: His License also serves as a tricorder (tricorder sound effect is heard) He detects that Pikachu's health has nearly dropped to zero. Because I guess in this universe, we can measure health through hit points. And he needs to get Pikachu to a hospital, also known as a Pokemon Center. However, the Spearows return, now with one of them in their evolved form, a giant bird called a Fearow! Unfortunately, Ash did not think to bring a coat hanger along on his journey, so he has no way ff fending off the birds and he's forced to run while carrying Pikachu. He runs across Misty and steals her bike, claiming to be borrowing it. Misty then sees the Fearow and Spearows chasing after them. Her reaction:
Misty: What's that Idiot up to now?
Linkara: He's running in fear of the giant frickin' bird and it's little friends trying to peck his eyes out! Give him a break.
Linkara V/O did they put the panels out of order or something? Or were they trying to make Misty into a colossal jerk? I also noticed no concern about the Pikachu she said was cute before. Ash rushed off on the bike as fast as he can, but the birds still out run him and start to scratch at him. He's actually bleeding and some of his blood falls on to Pikachu. Ash covers his arms around Pikachu as best as he can, declaring he'll protect him no matter what! Pikachu seems... bored by this according to the panel, but I suppose it could just mean he's tired. Fearow dive bombs straight at Ash, no doubt intending to impale the kid with its beak. But, Pikachu spots this and leaps out at the Fearow, thunder shocking the hell out of it and paralyzing it. And here's where we get a major change from the TV show to the comic. Yeah, there have been little differences here and there, the Fearow itself being one of them, that Ash is smart enough to recognize an opportunity and hurls a Poke ball at the Fearow, capturing it!
Ash: We caught it! We did it Pikachu! Our first Pokemon capture!
Linkara/Ash: And all it took were a bunch of permanent scars and massive blood loss! (Thumbs up, big smile)
Linkara V/O: Pikachu doesn't respond to him, so we can add the death of his partner onto what it cost to capture the Fearow.
(Clip from "Birdemic" showing Ramsey hit the car's glove box in anger. He turns to Rod)
Ramsey (Voiced by Linkara): (to Rod) The Spearows killed Pikachu!
Linkara V/O: Nah, I'm kidding. He just fainted and Ash brings him to the Pokemon Center and he's right as rain. Ash takes off the Leash and apologizing for it.
Ash: Oh! I thought I was forgetting something, I haven't given you a name yet! Now, what would suit you?
Pikachu: Chuu. Pi? 'Pika?"
Linkara: Darrell it is! (beckons him forward) Common Darrell!
Linkara V/O: However, Misty has arrived at the center and it seems that Pikachu's massive thunder bolt completely destroyed her bike. And so, our comic ends with Ash running of to avoid responsibility for his actions. Our Hero Everybody!
Linkara: This comic (Beat) doesn't suck at all.
Linkara V/O: It's a good start, we get Ash's motivations and we see why despite being ill prepared and kind of a moron. The true nature of his character is to defend those he cares about, even to his own expense. It's not perfect though; the dialogue often comes off as stilted, shoving exposition in where it's not needed, the pacing is a bit off the wall, often moving far too fast to really absorb everything we got. However, it is a translation, so it might read better in the original Japanese. There's no denying that Pokemon is more that a little weird when you stop and think about it, made no better by the exposition trying to force such gems as like "All Pokemon are the same species," despite some being made out of inorganic matter. From a story perspective, they never seem to analyze the concept of the consequences of the technology they have at their disposal and this comic didn't even get into the teleportation stuff that's available.
Linkara: However, as a comic it's enjoyable, told a complete story, and sometimes that's all that's I'm asking for.
Nimbue: (Interrupts) Information: Scan indicate the presence of the entity in every space around this room. We are Surrounded.
(Linkara exhales a deep breath, he's a little depressed to meet his fate)
Linkara: Well, I guess this is it (stands up)
Nimbue: It would appear to be so.
Linkara: (Depressed) There's nothing else I can do. (faces Nimbue interface) Well, Nimbue it was nice knowing you, although brief.
Nimbue: The emotion (pause) is shared
(Linkara then begins to take off his fingerless gloves and Ash hat as we hear a melancholy version of the Atop The 4th Wall theme sung by SadPanda. After rolling up his sleeves and putting his brown jacket and fedora back on, he makes his way to the door to face MissingNo. But then stops and looks back at the green futon and Pokemon: Electric Tale of Pikachu and then looks at Spider-man: Planet of the Symbiotes next to it. The AT4W them cover ends. The Spiderman comic seems to have given Linkara an Idea as more upbeat western sounding music is heard. He then heads back to the living room. MissingNo is wearing 90s Kid's sunglasses)
MissingNo: (gleeful) Welcome back human! Is this the part where you fight me?
Linkara: No, no, there's really nothing for me to do. I could shoot you with increasingly larger guns, but it wouldn't work. I could pull some exiting new morpher out of my pants and hope it would give me the power to defeat you, but we both know that that wouldn't work either.
MissingNo: No, it would not.
Linkara: There is no way to fight you.
MissingNo. I am an Outer God, human! You are tiny!
Linkara: And there you have it! I could never hope to beat you, it's impossible. The only choice I have is to surrender because there is simply nothing else I can do!
MissingNo: (takes off sunglasses, showing his static and glitch eyes) The welcome to my glory human! (slowly walks towards Linkara)
Linkara: Uh, before I become one with your glory and everything, there is just one thing: a question.
MissingNo (stops and puts the sunglasses back on) You may speak.
Linkara: After I'm consumed by you, what are you gonna do next?
MissingNo: I will spread throughout this universe until it (moves throughout the shot throughout the rest of the sentence) and I are the same! (moves again) Til it and I are the same! From there I shall do as I have done before, (static) I shall travel from universe to universe and they shall become extensions of my being! (static) Simeoltaneously piece and whole! (static) Every star, every cosmos, every dimensions, all things living and dead shall become me! (moves in shot again) No empty space, no limit, nothing existing except for me! (static and moves again) Existenece shall become solely defined by me because I am existence!
Linkara: Oh! And then what are you going to do?
MissingNo: (confused) What?
Linkara: I was just curious, what are you going to do after you finish your goal?
MissingNo: (still doesn't understand) I will exist (?) Everything will be me...
Linkara: (interrupts) Yes, yes, we know that part. But what are you going to DO! You will exist, neato! What are you going to do to pass the time? you will have absorbed everything and I do mean Everything! You will not just be the only being in the universe, you will be the universe! So, what are you going to do AS the universe? Will you create things? Well, I suppose wouldn't cause creating something will mean it will be different from you and you'd just re-absorb it back in anyway. So, again I ask, what are you going to DO when you have completed your goal
MissingNo: Existence is, is... (moves throughout shot, looks in pain) existence is important!
Linkare: (trying to get a straight answer) Yes, but why do you want that goal!
MissingNo: Eve- (moves through shot sill looking in pain) -rything should and must be me! (moves, pain, repeats) Everything should and must be me!
Linkara: (Angry) AND WHEN EVERYTHING IS YOU, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NEXT? (MissingNo starting to panic a little) WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE WHEN YOUR PURPOSE HAS BEEN FULFILLED? WHAT WILL BE YOUR MEANING WHEN YOU HAVE MADE THE ULTIMATE ACHIEVEMENT? Is existing just and end onto itself? Well, that can't be it because you're already existing and are therefore fulfilling that part of it! ( He circles around MissingNo, mocking him) SO, GO AHEAD! CREATE YOUR KINGDOM OF THE NEVER-SHOULD! LET THE GLITCH BE EVERYTHING! DESTORTION=THE REALITY! BECOME EVERYTHING THERE IS DOWN TO THE TINIEST PARTICLE! SO, THAT YOU ARE LITERALLY EXISTENCE IT SELF! (Stops to face him) In the end you still have the same damn problem: that there is no challenge left. No Heaven to aspire to, no Hell to avoid! You will live forever, alone as everything and existence itself shall be your prison. All experiences will be a part of you. (MissingNo looking worried) All possibilities will have been considered and completed! Every life form, every molecule, every single should and never should and it will all have been done! Everything will be you and everything will be meaningless! And when you do become existence, when the definition of existence equals Missing Number, you will cream your shrill hiss and let it vibrate along the totality of your being! (MissingNo moves, he's in agony) When the lie of your existence is lain bare BECAUSE THERE IS SIMPLY NOTHING ELSE FOR YOU TO DO!
MissingNo: You are confusing me! (moves in shot) You are attempting a deception!
Linkara: Me? Deceive an Outer God? I sincerely doubt that.
MissingNo: (still moving constantly) You..you... I must continue..You, (sunglasses off, angry) you shall become...
Both: (Linkara mocking) A part of me/you!
Linkara: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, EXCEPT IS DOESN'T MATTER! In the end you'll still be there, alone in THE DARKNESS OF MERE BEING! FORVER! (MissingNo looking scared) What it all boils down to is that you are no more significant than a single pixel on a screen!
MissingNo: (Angrily shouts) SILENCE! (static. Linkara is knocked backwards, he then mumbles to himself in a static-y shot) Reason? No we cannot, no we cannot. (static) Purpose is defingin existence, but purpose is... undefined... (static) purpose is not solution (static) if...if... if to be all that us cannot solve (static) then examine, one cannot be known.. (meanwhile, Linkara tries to get back up)...then existence what cannot be known... then existence cannot be know through existence... (his eys stat to look human again) Solution to equation is non-existence?
Linkara: (leaning on the nearby) YOU'RE AN OUTER GOD, YES?
MissingNo: (moves glitch-ily, eyes static again) Correct!
Linkara: (clutching his side in pain) You are beyond good and evil, a being more complex and grand and terrible than anything that had existed or ever will exist?
MissingNo: (His Eyes are human again, still glitchy) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Linkara: Then, I submit a question to you Outer God! A possibility to explore!
MissingNo: (Eyes static again, Glitching-ly) Declare it!
Linkara: What happens to an outer god when it dies?
MissingNO: (Eyes are human again, he ponders Linkara's question then smiles) I will find out.
(Static then bursts from his stomach, Linkara shields his eyes, the light is gone as Harvey Finevoice, Boffo, Dr. Linksano, The Ninja-Style Dancer, Pollo, and Iron Liz slowly re-appear in the apartment. Linkara goes to hug Liz)
Harvey: Uh, kid? What just happened?
Linlara: (stops hugging Liz and turns to Harvey) We're not necessarily out of the woods just yet. (turns to Nimbue's interface) Nimbue!
Linkara: Has Earth's entire population returned?
Nimbue: Scanning. Scanning. Confirmed. All life and property that have gone missing over the last several months have returned.
Liz: Linkara, what did you do?
Linkara: I, I think I convinved it to kill itself.
Linksano: And either because of generosity or because of its death, everything has been returned to normal!
Harvey: Wait, where's the idiot (referring to 90s Kid).
(90s Kid, back to his regular self is dazed and confused and sitting against the wall to the kitchen)
90s Kid: (Singing drunk sounding)
Carealot, is a place we want to goooo!
Linkara: (goes toward him) 90s Kid, you ok?
90s Kid: (groans) I think so, man. (looks around) Hey, wait a second. Where are those issues of "Bloodgun" that I was sorting!? THOSE WERE COLLECTORS EDITIONS!!!
(Ninja-Style Dancer holds up sign saying "Oh, joy. He's back to normal" and then sighs)
Liz: Linkara, I'm a bit confused about this. But, I think you just saved the world or something. (Linkara realizes this too) So, what happens now?
Linkara: I don't know. (looks around the room) Anyone wanna play Pokemon?
(Cut to Black, we still hear the others talk simultaneously)
90s Kid: Dude! I wanna play Pokemon too! Hell yeah man!
(Boffo honks his horn)
Harvey: Ok, I'll play. I love Pokemon!
Linksano: I've got a a level 255 Mew-two!
(End Credits, after that we cut Spoony's reviewing space )
Spoony: (re-materializes) Ahh! Hey, I'm alive! And, wait, why was I going to review Warrior #4 when we just released a separate video on it?
Dr. Insano: It's hyper time, just accept it.
(cut to to Marzgirl's reviewing space)
Marzgirl: (re-materializies) Hey! Alright, I'm back! (looks down at her shirt) Wait, this isn't the shirt I was wearing before.
(Cut to Phelous' reviewing space)
Phelous: (sarcastically as he re-materializes) Huh, I'm back. It was really important to see me return, otherwise no one would that I've come back!
(cut to Obsurus Lupa's reviewing space)
Obscurus Lupa: (re-materializing holding her cat) I'm back! (confused) And yet somehow I still released a review of The Howling: Reborn, despite being taken by the entity.
(Cut to JesuOtaku's living room)
JesuOtaku: (re-materializes, sighs, then laughs) Awesome. Ok, I'm back. Yes! I'm back and (finds a dvd nearby, sighs in grief) I have Witchblade to review! (laughs in sadness and drops the dvd) Crap (puts her hand to her face)
(Cut to Suede's reviewing space)
Suede: (re-materializes) Wo ho ho! What was that? That was different. (realizes) Ah, dang it! Was this whole thing just a Pokemon reference? I love Pokemon! I would've loved to have done a cameo! Oh well, I guess there's nothing for it (takes his Gameboy out of his jacket pocket) Now, where were we? (to the gameboy) Yes old man, tell me your secrets and then it's off to Cinnabar!
(Cut back to Linkara's apartment)
Pollo: Linkara, you seem glum. Did you not get the magic gun back?
Linkara: Oh, no. Magic Gun returned safe and sound! (holds it up showing Pollo then re-holsters it)
Pollo: Oh, I thought maybe seeing Missing Number would create infinite copies of it.
Linkara: Well, that's because It wasn't in the 6th slot of my inventory. (starts to sound aggravated) You know what was? (Pulls out of his pocket...) A tricorder (pulls out another one) and of look tricorder! (keeps pulling out more and getting angrier) OH LOOK, TRICORDER! OH LOOK, TRICORDER! OH LOOK, TRICORDER!