SCI-Spy #5
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Air Date
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April 7, 2014
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Running Time
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20:40
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Previous review
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Tagline
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Remember when SCI-Spy was about spy stuff? Yeah, I don't either.
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Link
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Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. We've had (holds up two fingers) two weeks in a row of comics that make me feel like spending the next three months just showering them off. So I think it's time for a bit of rest from such awful. Unfortunately, today's comic is "SCI-Spy".
(Cut to black)
Linkara (v/o): Previously on the "SCI-Spy" reviews...
(A recap of the first four "SCI-Spy" comics is shown)
Linkara (v/o): Sebastian Starchild is the last Son of Krypton– er, Earth. Earth was invaded by aliens, and a computer exiled what it could of the human race to the farthest reaches of space, and then all of humanity decided to conveniently forget that there were hostile aliens out there and instead spent their time getting cosmetic surgery to look like birds, lizards and (Lazlo's bodyguard, the big-eyed, big-lipped female robot, is shown) whatever in the tenth circle of Hell that's supposed to be. Our brave hero, being a complete moron incapable of expressing an emotion, decided that the best plan was to go back to Earth – with no plan to actually fight the aliens or defeat them. Naturally, such a well-thought-out idea resulted in him and his fellow not-actually-a-spy, Isis Nile, getting stranded on the ruins of Earth. And yet, this comic is still not just over yet.
Linkara: So let's dig into (holds up today's comic) "SCI-Spy #5" and see how they can stretch this garbage out some more.
(AT4W title theme plays, and title card has "I've Got You Under My Skin" by Frank Sinatra playing in the background. Cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)
Linkara (v/o): The cover's okay... for an action movie book involving guns and explosions and of the likes of Alien or Predator or something else. Not so much for a book called "SCI-Spy". I just don't get it. Why did Doug Moench go with the spy thing for the title if he absolutely refused to do anything spy-related in it. Was this not supposed to be called "SCI-Spy"? Was it supposed to be called, like, "Star Child" or something? I can't see any evidence of that, but at least with that, there wouldn't be any dashed expectations. Oh, yeah, and behold Nile in the background, or at least a poor facsimile of her; her head is too big and she looks nothing like Nile has in this book, aside from having white hair. And being female.
(The comic opens to the first page)
Linkara (v/o): We open where we left off last time, with Starchild and Nile under attack by the aliens.
Narrator: Humanity's homeworld, a thousand years after occupation and genocide...
Linkara: But still on the bus line, so that's a plus.
Nile: Remind me, Starchild-- your love for this planet is based on what?
Linkara: Well, if I recall the last issue correctly, some kind of stupid genetic race memory thing, but why would I expect you to remember things you were there for?
Linkara (v/o): And check out her body as she's falling. This is an artistic phenomenon that's recently been pointed out. It's not even just the Escher Girls posing of her twisting the front of her body one way while her legs are twisted another, but just the way her legs are compressed together while she jumps. It's been called "Subway Sandwich Thighs". Artists are apparently under the impression that women's thighs and calves naturally sandwich together without any kind of pressure making them do so. It's because the artist, as a shortcut, is basically drawing the woman as if they're kneeling in the air as opposed to how a leg would naturally go while bent and flying – or in this case, falling. It has the advantage of sexualizing things by pushing out the ass a bit more while also making your comic reader kind of hungry for a sub.
Linkara: And Lord knows I would rather go to Subway right now than continue reading "SCI-Spy".
Linkara (v/o): Also, ridiculously big high heels, because why not? In addition, there's the title of this issue: "NEW EARTH".
Linkara: I think, at this point, it's (makes a "finger quote") "Slightly Used Earth", or at least "Not-Getting-the-Warranty-Back Earth".
Linkara (v/o): Despite the fact that Starchild tells Nile to take cover, the two immediately start making a run for it. I'm guessing it's because this is not a video game and thus, chest-high walls made of brick are not going to be very effective at stopping laser cannons. Still, they're running and gunning, trying to shoot as many of them out of the sky as they go, even though it's pretty clear there are simply too many of them.
Nile: Spike-skulled bastards.
Linkara: (confused) Is that where you draw the line, Nile? With all the genetic modifications we've seen in this series? Oh, sure, you can look like an insect, even have the mandibles for it, but don't you dare have spikes in your head! Freak! (shrugs)
Linkara (v/o): And apparently, that's enough to change Starchild's tune, because now he says they will make it through this. He must have realized the winning strategy: shoot the enemy, and they will be dead. Starchild, you mad genius!
(Cut to the well-worn clip of the title character in Patton, looking out through a pair of binoculars)
Gen. Patton (George C. Scott): You magnificent bastard, I read your BOOK!
(Cut back to the comic)
Linkara (v/o): He tells Nile, who's bending over like this for some reason... You can't even say it's to leap. Who the hell jumps like that? Erm, he tells her to go and that he'll finish them off.
Nile: Like hell you will.
Linkara: (as Nile) There's no way in Hell I'm letting (points to camera) you beat my high score!
Linkara (v/o): And apparently, that's the end of their pursuers because Starchild's computer orb thingy says that the "last of the Xenos" is roasting and they're clear.
Starchild: Far from the last one, orb--and we're far from clear...
Linkara (v/o): And we see a gigantic ship hovering over the ruins with dozens of smaller ones converging on it.
Nile: My God, Starchild--a ship cannibalized from the city itself...
Linkara (v/o): Um, what? What the hell about that thing screams "taken from pieces of the city"? Not to mention, it's a pretty dumbass approach to building spaceships. Buildings are not usually made from titanium. I don't think that concrete is gonna quite hold up to snuff when you go to lightspeed or whatever.
Nile: ...big enough to transport millions...
Starchild: And they're boarding, Nile-- ready to abandon trashed Earth just as they junked their own ruined world more than a thousand years ago.
Linkara: (as Starchild) I know all this because... (stops awkwardly as he tries explain himself, then speaks normally) Because it's bad writing. Why pretend it's anything else?
Starchild: My home... The planet of my birth... destroyed by invaders from the other end of the universe...
Linkara (v/o): Seriously, why do you care? You don't remember Earth! I could give a rat's ass if the hospital I was born in was destroyed!
Linkara: I mean, yeah, I would care about the destruction of Earth, but that's because Earth is where I keep all my stuff!
Linkara (v/o): Starchild has zero reason to care about the dried-up husk of a place he doesn't recall! It's like being pissed off that the first apartment you lived in as a baby was destroyed, but like you only lived there temporarily until your family got a better place and you don't even know what color the carpet was! This is just stupid! And yet, it could be fixed so easily: let Starchild not leave Earth as a baby, but as, say, a three- or four-year-old, during a time when he might have a few brief memories, but nothing solid and sure. That would be at least some vague connection. And then have him explore the ruins of his home and have it all start coming back to him. But no! We needed a poorly-rendered action scene! You know, it's been thrown out often that I should be looking at good comics, that reviewing good stuff does more to promote comics. Plenty of people do that. They don't need me for that. I'm here to show you all that if you want to be a writer, don't be an idiot! There are much easier and much better ways of making us connect with your protagonist and developing their character than making them a vacant, big-eyed loser who somehow has feelings for a place he can barely say that he lived on! Anyway, Nile speculates that there are probably more ships like that one...
Nile: ...above every major city on the planet...
Linkara: (incredulously) What major cities?! Everything has been wrecked and ruined! Have they just been partying for the last thousand years and now the place is too trashed to enjoy?
Linkara (v/o): Otherwise, why wouldn't the cities be in a much better state if the aliens were actually utilizing them?
Starchild: (narrating) So much for our recon mission, Nile...
Linkara: This was a recon mission?! Well, great job just sitting out in the open in space without any attempt to hide yourselves, morons!
Linkara (v/o): They realize that even if they did have a ship, they wouldn't be able to reach the Arcturus system again in time to warn everyone, so Nile suggests that they just try to stop the invasion.
Linkara: This is gonna turn into Battlefield Earth, isn't it?
Linkara (v/o): Starchild suddenly gets angsty as he starts thinking about his parents and wondering what happened to them after he was sent out into space. It's a legitimately good emotional moment... except for the fact that Nile has to snap him out of it for the equally legitimate fact that now is really not the time to be worrying about that because of, you know, the impending alien apocalypse. So, what is their ingenious plan to stop the aliens?
Starchild: We wait for cover of darkness, spot our opening... and kick alien ass.
Linkara: (applauding sarcastically) The savior of humanity, my friends!
(We then cut to another bookshelf. Linkara suddenly appears in the room out of thin air, as he is fiddling with a teleporter on his wrist)
Linkara: Oh, uh... (looks around nervously) Sorry, guys, teleporter malfunction. (AT4W logo appears in the corner) We'll be right back while I suss this out.
(He resumes tinkering as we cut to black to go to a commercial break. Upon return, Linkara is still there)
Linkara: (excitedly) And now we're back, and I think I've got this all worked out.
(He pushes a button on his teleporter and there is an explosion, which turns him into an old man)
Linkara: You no-good Cinema Snob... (stops and looks around in confusion while the AT4W logo appears in the corner) Where the hell am I?
(The review resumes)
Linkara (v/o): You know, maybe we should hope for a Battlefield Earth turn, where they find fully functional Harrier jets a thousand years disused. It'd at least make things more interesting, and it's still a better plan than that one. Fortunately, we do have a bit of a better plan: namely, that at night, they spot cargo containers similarly shaped to that D-100 back in issue 3. You know, the Lucifer file or whatever it was. They figure they can sneak on with them... by clinging to them? I don't know. I guess no one's paying attention for that very thing, after some rogue humans managed to kill a whole crap-ton of them before. How did these people eradicate humanity, exactly? Anyway, Nile brings up more continuity: namely, about the sugar cubes that released the walking Cybermats and robo-bugs and other nasties that they had encountered along the way. However, Starchild says a mystery remains: namely, how the hell did the aliens know where to send all this stuff? But we'll worry about that later. In the meantime, they somehow open up and get inside one of the containers. Aaand apparently, they're just carried through the vacuum of space like that. I guess the aliens made sure to install oxygen generators inside the cargo containers. Hell, what's even supposed to be inside of them? The smaller one was a computer file. Why the hell isn't this a sugar cube, like the ones from the first issue? Anyway, they wait a whole day inside of the thing, giving the aliens ample time to possibly already be on their way, considering it took you guys, like, an hour to go through the wormhole. Anyway, that night, they leave and begin exploring around and discover some old friends: that Shadow Black and the alien bug Chaxis or whatever the hell his name was from a while back. It seems they were the ones who sold out the Arcturus system. Good job holding that mystery out, "SCI-Spy"! Lasted all of two pages. Anyway, they watch the outer planets for themselves, but the Xenos – I guess that's what we're calling the aliens – are pissed off that their emissary got assassinated by that one guy back at the end of issue 3. As such, they toss Shadow Black and Chaxx into a cell. Starchild and Nile go to rescue them and to get some info and help. The orb robot burns through the bars and attacks the guards.
Orb: Hyello! And goon-bye!
Linkara: Okay, so far, the little robot orb has done a better job of telling James Bond-esque quips than the actual James Bond stand-in.
Linkara (v/o): Shadow Black is less than convinced that our heroes will be able to stop the aliens.
Shadow Black: The whole two of you?
Starchild: Bad math aside, you're looking at everything humanity needs.
Linkara: I can think of, like, twelve things off the top of my head that humanity would need instead of you, Starchild. Top of that list is a more interesting protagonist.
Linkara (v/o): After some back-and-forth about the two of them selling out humanity, they agree to join forces and come up with a decent plan. They can blow up this ship easily enough through the ship's engine core, but there are a bunch of other ships that need to be taken out, too. First stop: find the ship's main weapon systems.
Nile: Lead us to the main weapons system--and I mean the big guns.
Shadow Black: Ooh, you nasty bitch.
Linkara: (confused) Does "nasty" mean something different in the future? Dear Lord, the future is dumb.
Linkara (v/o): They quickly make their way to the ship's bridge.
Starchild: Remember, Nile... the rest of the armada won't suspect one of their own. So do it fast-- and don't blow the element of surprise.
Nile: Unknot, Starchild...
Linkara: (making a "finger quote") "Nasty"? "Unknot"? At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if someone does yell "Sewing machine!" as legitimate slang!
Linkara (v/o): Nile is able to figure out the ship's weapons systems... somehow, and they're able to cripple every one of the other ships. The next problem is the core, which is conveniently close to them. Unfortunately, it's heavily guarded by dozens of very pissed-off aliens who have realized that something is wrong with their weapons systems.
Starchild: Looks like Plan B's coming under heavy assault, Nile.
Nile: Yep-- good thing I'm a one-woman army.
Linkara (v/o): And it seems she's not kidding. Chaxx says it's over because they're outnumbered and overwhelmed, but it seems they've had an ace up their sleeve this whole time.
Starchild: All right, Nile--time to turn off and open up.
Linkara: (as Nile) Well, I always felt resentful of my mother for the expectations she forced on me. (as Starchild) Yes, Nile, yes! Our psychiatry sessions are just what we need to combat the aliens!
Linkara (v/o): No, as Shadow Black points out, Nile's not real. Starchild uses a laser pistol to burn a hole down Nile's front and pulls it open, revealing in fact that she's an android duplicate of Nile. And fully-armed soldiers start pouring out of the android!!
Starchild: A "Trojan robot" of our own--fitted with an internal tesseract... extradimensional transport for a small camouflaged army of S.C.I.-Spy agents...
(Linkara, totally nonplussed, drops the comic and hangs his head)
Linkara: Okay... I've got to admit, I didn't see that twist coming. And it's kind of awesome and brilliant!
Linkara (v/o): They had already established this TARDIS-like technology in a previous issue, and considering how sophisticated Starchild's orb thing must be, they probably had advanced robotics. Combining the two is really kind of ingenious and would be a logical thing to use for espionage and undercover operations. Oh, but how can we make this stupid, hmm? Well, for starters, the hole he makes is clearly not big enough to let this big dude through. Secondly, there's this woman down here who appears to be wearing no actual armor or protective garments whatsoever. Smooth. Next, what the hell would have happened to them if the android had been damaged or its head knocked off or it was vaporized or something? Would they have stayed in an extradimensional pocket forever with no escape?
Linkara: (smiling sarcastically) So I guess this explains the Subway sandwich legs at the beginning. She was a robot this whole time! That totally makes it okay and not an unnatural pose at all! (rolls his eyes)
Linkara (v/o): So while the battle rages with the Xenos, we also learn that the agents have been following along on what's been happening. In addition, the real Isis Nile has been using a "mind-chip meld" to keep in control of the robot body, so she's been following the mission, too. And thank goodness for that explanation. I was worried it was going to turn out that she was a robot with a dozen people inside of her the whole time, which would have just made the earlier sex between her and Starchild kind of creepy. And I had my fill of creepy sex last week! The android gets its head kicked off after one more agent, who looks like a little kid with melted conical spiral seashells on her head, jumps out. Starchild explains his overall plan: they'll destroy the ship at the mouth of the wormhole, hopefully destroying the wormhole's entrance to keep the ships from ever going through. Unfortunately, they've just arrived on the other end of the wormhole, and thus they need to work fast.
Starchild: Pop your tesseract, orb!
Orb: I'm open, baby--so just be gentle, huh?
Linkara: What did I just say about the creepy sex stuff, dammit?!
Linkara (v/o): And so, our comic ends with reaching into Orb and pulling out an explosive, specifically a false eyeball containing an antimatter bomb that the Xenos were paying Attila Lazlo in the first issue to smuggle onto a world.
Starchild: And once its viridiol shell is cracked--
Shadow Black: The released antimatter will chain-react with the core's positive matter-- as we commit atomized suicide.
Starchild: Precisely, Black--except good guys call it atomized sacrifice.
Linkara: Other heroes would call it "unnecessary sacrifice", Starchild. (closes comic and holds it up) This comic sucks... but I've got to admit, it's the best issue so far.
Linkara (v/o): And that's only because of the twist with Nile, which actually did something kind of clever and logical, using the technology established in this universe. It's a pity this idea is being wasted on this crappy series. The art is still awful, the story overall is still blecch, and our main character has all the charisma of a moldy dishrag.
Linkara: And the next time we visit "SCI-Spy", it will thankfully be the last. (throws down comic, gets up and leaves)
(End credits roll)
Isis Nile: redefining "Army of One."
I suppose there is one good point to being trapped in another dimension – you wouldn't have to be in SCI-Spy.
(Stinger: The upcoming final issue's title is shown in the corner of the last panel: "Part VI: INVASION")
Linkara (v/o): So, will Starchild succeed in closing the wormhole? Well, the final issue is "Invasion", so that's a big no.
(end)
Atop the Fourth Wall Transcripts
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2008:
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Spider-Man 56 · Doom's IV 2 · Batman 147 · The Top 15 WTF Moments in Comics · Titans 1 · Sinnamon 11 · US-1 1 · S.C.I. Spy 1 · Superman At Earth's End
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2010:
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2012:
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Marville 1 · Miller Time: Robocop vs. the Terminator 1 · Brute Force 3 · 15 Things That Are Wrong With Identity Crisis · New Guardians 1 · Gameboy 2 · Youngblood 4 · Star Trek III: The Search for Spock · Mr. T 1 (AP Comics) · Mr. T 2 · The Amazing Spider-Man and Captain America in Dr. Doom's Revenge! · The Invincible Four of Kung-Fu & Ninja 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 2 · Black Web 1 · Transformers: Generation 2 1 · Captain Tax Time 1 · Superman 701 · Bloodstrike 1 · Marville 2 · The Amazing Spider-Man on Bullying Prevention 1 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 1 · Daredevil vs Vapora 1 · Batman: A Word to the Wise · Marvel Team-Up 74 · Blake's 7 2 · Battle for Bludhaven 1-2 · Battle for Bludhaven 3-4 · Battle for Bludhaven 5-6 · Sir Charles Barkley and the Referee Murders · Captain Electron 1 · Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home · 200th Episode · Rock 'N Roll 31 · Future Shock 1 · Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham 1 · Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham 2 · Psychoman 1 · Marville 3 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Answer to a Riddle · Batman: Jazz 1 · Starstream 1 · The Thing From Another World 1 · The Thing From Another World 2 · Spider-Man: Power and Responsibility · Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror 2 · Flash Comics 1 · Tales of Suspense 39 · The Brave and the Bold 54 · The Incredible Hulk 1 · Superman's Christmas Adventure · Archie Giant Series Magazine 452 · Teen Titans 13: A Swingin' Christmas Carol · Batman: Noel · The Next 15 Screw-Ups of Atop the Fourth Wall
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2013:
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2014:
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2015:
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Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 9 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 2 · Trouble 1 · Comic Book Quickies 4 · PSA Hell: Energy and Safety with the Justice League · Youngblood 7 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 1-40 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 41-75 · The Star Wars 1 · Batman: Jazz 3 · Mr. T and the T-Force 3 · Big Bang Presents 3: Protoplasman! · Crimson 1 · Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (RPG Game) · Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone · PSA Hell: Batman: Shadow of the Bat 57 · Comic Book Quickies 5 · Avengers Assemble Featuring Captain Citrus 1 · Doctor Who/Star Trek: The Next Generation: Assimilation Squared · My Cage · The Punisher 60 · The Punisher 61 & 62 · Steam Wars · Ultimate Power 1-2 · Homestuck, Act 1 · Atomic Robo, Vol. 3 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Superman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Batman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Wonder Woman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating The Flash · Zyuranger Episodes 17-22 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer Trap · Trouble 2 · Pokémon Reburst, Chapter 1 · Green Lantern 23.1 · Team Youngblood 1 · US-1 5 · The Star Wars 2 · Power Man and Iron Fist 79 · Nightmares on Elm Street 1-2 · Nightmares on Elm Street 3-4 · Nightmares on Elm Street 5-6 · Spider-Man: Virtual Mortality · More Fun Comics 73 · Daredevil 1 · Action Comics 252 · Tales of Suspense 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5 · Deadpool Bi-Annual 1 · Cho Dengeki Stryker · Zombies Christmas Carol 1-3 · Zombies Christmas Carol 4-5 · Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
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2016:
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NFL SuperPro Special Edition 1 · Popeye: Borned to the Sea 1 · OnStar Batman Auto Show Special Edition 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 3 · The Star Wars 3 · Youngblood 8 · All-Star Batman and Robin 10 · Pokémon Adventures Ch. 1-2 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episodes 1-5 · Blue-Skying, Part 1: Blue Beetle Dan Garrett · Blue-Skying, Part 2: Blue Beetle Ted Kord · Blue-Skying, Part 3: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes · Blue-Skying, Part 4: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes New 52 · Star Trek Special: Flesh and Stone · Blackest Night 1-8 · Dart 1 · Batman: Shadow of the Bat 58 · The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky · Ultimate Power 3 · Star Trek: The Next Generation 3 · Comic Book Quickies 6 · 400th Episode · 400th Episode: Part 2 · Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 1 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 2 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 3 · 15 Things Wrong With Marvel's Civil War · Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 1 · The Minister of Chance · US-1 6 · Star Trek: Voyager 1 · Unsounded, Chapter 1 · Biggles and the Menace from Space · Batman and Robin: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman and the TRS-80 Computer Whiz Kids: Victory by Computer · Star Trek/Green Lantern: The Spectrum War · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 27-28 · Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Ch. 1 · Pryde of the X-Men · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 1 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 3 · Spider-Man: Cyberwar · The Real Ghostbusters in Ghostbusters II 1-3 · Strange Tales 110 · More Fun Comics 73: Aquaman · Tales of Suspense 57 · All-Star Comics 3 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 2015 Holiday Special · Ghostbusters: Past, Present, and Future · Elvira's House of Mystery Special 1 · Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W
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2017:
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Digimon: Digital Monsters 1 · Phonogram: The Immaterial Girl 1-6 · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 · Trouble 3 · The Star Wars 4 · Spectacular Spider-Man Episode 1x10 - "Persona" · Youngblood 9 · The A-Team 2 · The Batman/Superman Movie: World's Finest · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 1 · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 2 · Reagan's Raiders 1 · Fist of the North Star, Ch. 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 4 · Iron Man: The Animated Series - The Wedding of Iron Man · Athena 3 · Batman: The Dark Knight 1-3 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 2 · Crisis on Infinite Earths · Secret Wars (1984) · The Infinity Gauntlet · Flashpoint · Babylon 5 1 · The Star Wars 5 · All-New Ghost Rider, Volume 2 · Robocop vs. the Terminator 2 · Superman vs. the Terminator 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: News By Computer Foils Kidnappers · Ultimate Power 4 · Delicious in Dungeon, Vol. 1 · Batman: Odyssey 1 · Asterix: The Legionary · Comic Book Quickies 7 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 1-4 (2012-2013 series) · Thunderbirds Are Go · Batman: The Official Movie Adaptation · Ultimate Iron Man Vol. 1 1-2 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 11-12 · Stormwatch 0 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Beginning 1-2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Fearbook · New Line Cinema's Tales of Horror 1 · The Sensational Spider-Man 0 · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash · Marvel Comics 1 · Brave and the Bold 28 · Kamen Rider Fourze Episodes 1-4 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Dark Holiday Special · Sensation Comics 14: The Story of Fir Balsam · Steam Wars Holiday Special · Christmas with the Superheroes 2
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2018:
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My Top 15 Favorite Episodes of AT4W · Legion of Superheroes: The Great Darkness Saga · James Bond, Jr. 1 · JLA/Avengers · Homestuck, Act 2 · Isaac Asimov's I-Bots 1 · Thunderstrike 1 · Youngblood 10 · Badrock 1A · Event Comics Month II: Infinite Crisis · Event Comics Month II: Infinity War · Event Comics Month II: World War Hulk · Event Comics Month II: Final Crisis · Power Rangers Turbo vs. Beetleborgs Metallix 1 · Diesel 1 · Teen Titans: "Betrayal" and "Aftershock, Parts 1 and 2" · The Punisher: Purgatory · Comic Book Quickies 8 · 500th Episode · Dark Knight III: The Master Race 1-2 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Green Lantern · The New Guardians 3 · US-1 7 · Nova Girls: Space 34-24-34 · Batman: Odyssey 2 · Star Wars 3-D 2 · Pokémon - The Electric Tale of Pikachu 3 · PSA Hell: Captain America Meets the Asthma Monster · Superman and Spider-Man · Amazing Cow Heroes 4: Cold Cuts · Ravage 2099 2 · Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Safeguarding the Environment · Mr. T and the T-Force 4 · Star Trek 2 (DC) · Star Trek (2009): The Official Motion Picture Adaptation · Star Trek: The Next Generation 4 · Star Trek 1 (Gold Key) · Silent Hill: Hunger · The Thing: The Northern Nightmare · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: The Nightmare Warriors · Spider-Man: Smoke and Mirrors · Hellraiser: Hell on Earth · Fantastic Four 52 · Marvel Comics 1 (The Human Torch) · The Incredible Hulk 181 · The New Mutants 98 · Batman Returns: The Official Comic Adaptation · The Punisher: Red X-Mas · Star Wars: The Force Awakens Comic Adaptation · Luke Cage, Hero for Hire 7
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2019:
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Yet Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 5 · Batman/Aliens 1 · Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel · Pokémon 15x19-20 "Cilan Takes Flight" and "An Amazing Aerial Battle" · Tomb Raider Vol. 3: Queen of Serpents · Little Victory: Chimera 1 · Youngblood 0 · Kickers, Inc. 1 · The Savage Dragon 1 · Darkwing Duck 1-4 · The California Raisins 3-D 5 · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 1-3 · Gallery of Horrors · Batman: The Dark Knight 16-17 · Tremors · Ultimate Power 5-6 · Batman Forever: The Official Comic Adaptation · Street Fighter: The Official Comic Adaptation · Catwoman: The Official Comic Adaptation · Dune: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Movie Special · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 1 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 2 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 3 · US-1 8 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Community Action Program · Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs · Comic Book Swimsuit Issues · Batman 45-47: The Gift · Star Trek: The Next Generation 5 · The A-Team 3 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 5-9 · Trouble 4 · Franken Fran, Ch. 1 and 4 · Youngblood: Judgment Day · Teen Titans 27-28 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser 1 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Summer Special · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Spring Slaughter · Spider-Man: The Exile Returns · Detective Comics 225 (Martian Manhunter) · Batman: Harley Quinn 1 · DC Comics Presents 26 · The Flash 123 · Evil Dead 2: A Merry Deadmite X-Mas · Transformers (UK) 145 · The All-New Batman: The Brave and the Bold 14 · Star Wars: The Last Jedi Comic Adaptation
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2020:
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Top 15 Dumbest Evil Plans of AT4W · Batman/Aliens 2 · Star vs. the Forces of Evil: Deep Trouble 1-4 · Megamind · Revolution · Superman vs. Muhammad Ali · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 4-6 · Youngblood: Strikefile 1 · Comic Book Quickies 9 · Black Panther, Vol. 4 1-6 · Batman: Odyssey 3 · Justice League/Mighty Morphin Power Rangers · The Champions, Vol. 3 1-4: Beat the Devil · Star Trek vs. Transformers · Athena 4 · Daredevil: Born Again · Action Comics 775 · Comic Book Quickies 10 · 600th Episode · Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Attack of the Clones Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Rogue One Comic Adaptation · DC Challenge! 1 · Kyoryu Sentai Zyurangers Episodes 40-43 · Trouble 5 · Dan Dare: Voyage to Venus · Superman 358 · Zero Hour: Crisis in Time · House of M · Secret Empire · Heroes in Crisis · Animax 1 · Ninjutsu 1-2 · Green Goblin 1-2, 4, 8, 12-13 · US-1 9 · Emergency! 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 5 · Pinhead 1-3 · Pinhead 4-6 · Pinhead vs. Marshal Law · Spider-Man: Web of Life · Marvel Super-Heroes 12 (Captain Marvel) · The Flash 110 · The Amazing Spider-Man 129 · Awesome Comics Holiday Special · Transformers (UK) 41 · Solo: A Star Wars Story Comic Adaptation
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2021:
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Yet Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W · Star Trek Book and Record Set: Dinosaur Planet · DC Challenge! 2 · The Mighty Heroes 1 · Justice League 1x01-3: Secret Origins · The Star Wars 6 · The King of Braves GaoGaiGar Ep. 1-4 · Youngblood: Strikefile 2 · Pokémon 15×01-02: "Enter Elesa, Electrifying Gym Leader" & "Dazzling the Nimbasa Gym" · Stanley and his Monster 1-4 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: The Transformers 1-40 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Transformers 41-80 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Generation 2 and Regeneration One · Star Trek 9 (Gold Key) · Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes · Mystery Science Theater 3000 1 · Batman: The Dark Knight Returns · Ultimate Power 7-8 · Batman: The Dark Knight 23.4 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Aquaman · Sword Interval: Flashback Arc · PSA Hell: The Amazing Spider-Man: Riot at Robotworld · Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Ultimate Edition) · Transformers/Ghostbusters: Ghosts of Cybertron · The New Guardians 4 · Codename: Ninja 1 · Batman: Hush · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Ep. 15-16 · Mr. T and the T-Force 6 · Doom’s IV 1 · Batman and Elmer Fudd & Catwoman and Sylvester and Tweety · Batman: Odyssey 4 · The Dresden Files: Storm Front, Vol. 1 · US-1 10 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 6 · DC Challenge! 3 · Marvel Super Special 1: KISS · The Ring, Vol. 1 · The Ring, Vol. 2 · Spider-Man: Web of Death · Detective Comics 359 · The X-Men 4 · Batman 1 · Spider-Man Holiday Special 1995 · The Adventures of Chrissie Claus 1 · Christmas Quickies 1 · Still Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
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2022:
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Ultimate Power 9 · The Adventures of Superboy 3x05-06 and 4x07-08 · Batman: The Killing Joke Adaptation · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating the JLA · Chew: Poyo Character Focus · Youngblood: Strikefile 3 · Doctor Who: Logopolis · Armageddon 2001 · Secret Invasion · Civil War II · Dark Nights: Metal · The Star Wars 7 · Sonic the Hedgehog: Tangle and Whisper · Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men: Planet X · Stargate SG-1: P.O.W. · Man of Steel · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 7 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episodes 17-21 · US-1 11 · X-Men Green · Spider-Man: Maximum Carnage · DC Challenge! 4 · Comic Book Quickies 11 · 700th Episode · Ken Penders' The Lost Ones 1 · Star Wars Infinities: A New Hope · Transformers: Deviations · Legion of Superheroes 0 and Legionnaires 0 · Mr. T and the T-Force 7 · The Ring, Vol. 3: Spiral · The Ring, Vol. 4: Birthday · Spider-Man: Funeral for an Octopus · Christmas Quickies 2 · Batman 27: A Christmas Peril · Mr. T and Emmanuel Lewis in A Christmas Dream · Top 15 Goofiest Superheroes of Atop the Fourth Wall
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2023:
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Star Wars: A New Hope Comic Adaptation · Marvelman Family's Finest 1 · Superman vs. Aliens 1 · Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney · Hellblazer: Dangerous Habits · Youngblood: Strikefile 4 · What Dreams May Come, Part 1: The Sandman 1-20 · What Dreams May Come, Part 2: The Sandman 21-40 · What Dreams May Come, Part 3: The Sandman 41-60 · What Dreams May Come, Part 4: The Sandman 61-75 · Animax 2 · The Dome: Ground Zero · Action Comics 1 (Non-Superman Stories) · Transformers (UK) 132-134 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Robin · Mr. T and the T-Force 8 · The Dresden Files: Storm Front, Vol. 2: Maelstrom · Captain Marvel: The Last Avenger · E-Robot, Ch. 1 · Overwatch: Legacy and Old Soldiers · Green Lantern: Emerald Twilight · Back to the Future: Who is Marty McFly? · Super Soldier 1 · Legends of the Dark Claw 1 · Spider-Boy 1 · Assassins 1 · DC Challenge! 5 · US-1 12 · The Star Wars 8 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 8 · The Ring, Vol 0: Birthday · Sadako at the End of the World · Spider-Man: The Mark of Kaine · Sadako-San and Sadako-Chan · Doctor Who: Remembrance of the Daleks · Doctor Who: The Klepton Parasites · Doctor Who: The Chimes of Midnight · Yu-Gi-Oh: Capsule Monsters Ep. 1-3 · Klaus 1-7
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2024:
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Still Another 15 Mistakes of AT4W · Batman vs. the Predator 1 · Ben 10 Ep. 1×01, 09, 13 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Ep. 14, 22-24 · Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back Comic Adaptation · Sonic/Mega Man: Worlds Collide, Act 1
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Specials:
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AT4W 2009 Trailer · Linkara's Take on Watchmen · Watchmen Review · Theme Song Contest · The Spoony Experiment: Warrior #1 · Theme Song Contest Winner! · Blackest Night · Silent Hill: Dying Inside Trailer · Silent Hill Alternate Endings · AT4W & Spoony: Experiment Warrior 2-3 · October 2010 Trailer · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive Review Alternate Endings · The Live Show! · AT4W Story Recap · October 2011 Trailer · Return of AT4W Live! · Revenge of the AT4W Live! · Southland Tales · Curse of AT4W Live · House of AT4W Live! · Ghost of AT4W LIVE! · October 2012 Trailers · Bride of AT4W Live! · Son of AT4W Live! · Night of AT4W Live! · Day of AT4W Live! · Dawn of AT4W Live! · Land of AT4W Live! · Diary and Survival of AT4W Live! · Power of AT4W Live! · Midnight of AT4W Live! · Planet of AT4W LIVE! · Genesis of AT4W LIVE! · 300th Episode Livestream Recordings · Destiny of AT4W LIVE! · Resurrection of AT4W LIVE! · Revelation of AT4W Live! · Remembrance of AT4W LIVE! · The New 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5
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