Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
|
|
Released
|
December 20th, 2010
|
Running time
|
17:42
|
Previous review
|
|
Next review
|
|
Tagline
|
A holiday classic!
|
Link
|
|
(We see Linkara sitting on the futon and watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians on the TV; his back is to the camera, but he turns and faces it)
Linkara: Some people have holiday traditions that are silly or sentimental. I have one, too, and it's watching (points to TV) this movie.
(Footage of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is shown)
Linkara (v/o): To be accurate, it's watching the riffing of this movie. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a 1964 film in which Santa Claus does not conquer Martians. It's a dumb film with horrible special effects, terrible music, and this guy.
(Said guy is the truly irritating Martian, Dropo, who, in one scene, is tickled by another Martian, Chief Kimar, using a "tickle ray". Yeah)
Dropo: (laughing) Turn off that ray!
Linkara (v/o): However, I've got to be honest, there's a real charm to this movie. It really feels like the people who made this didn't take it seriously. You just had a fun time making it. I could be completely wrong, of course; it could just be that every person involved in this production took one look at the final cut and spent their Christmases in a whiskey bottle after viewing it, but I'd like to think not.
(More footage of the movie follows, only this time, being watched by the Mystery Science Theater 3000 gang, which is arguably more famous than the movie itself)
Linkara (v/o): However, it's most famous for appearing on Mystery Science Theater 3000, that wonderful puppet show about a guy and two robots trapped in space and forced to watch horrible movies that they make jokes at.
(A montage of said jokes is shown, starting with Andy Henderson interviewing Santa)
Andy: Do you think you'll be ready by Christmas Eve?
Santa: Well, we've never disappointed the kids yet.
Joel: (as Santa) Except for the poor ones.
(Cut to Kimar and another Martian talking among themselves)
Kimar: They sit in front of their video set all day watching those ridiculous Earth programs. It confuses them.
Tom Servo: Especially Twin Peaks.
(Cut to two children)
Crow T. Robot: (as one of the children) I wish we had parents instead of this radio.
Linkara: But you're all probably wondering why I'm bringing this up now. Well, let me put it this way: welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall. And yes, Virginia, (holds up comic of review for today) there is a "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" comic.
(Title sequence plays; title card has "Hooray For Santa Claus" playing in the background; cut to the cover for this comic)
Linkara (v/o): Before you all ask, no, I have absolutely no idea how this thing came about. We've had movie-licensed comics on this show before, but never anything quite like this.
(Cut to the cover for "Bimbos in Time")
Linkara (v/o): No, that does not count since that thing was so amateurish that I'm surprised it wasn't drawn and printed in a notebook.
(Back to the current comic)
Linkara (v/o): From I have been able to glean, this was part of Dell Comics' "Movie Classics" line. Your mileage may vary on the term "classics", though. Now, your first reaction to this thing, given both the cover and the fact that it's a comic adaptation of a 1964 B-movie, is that it's a cheap, easy-to-produce tie-in that's basically a photo comic. You know, where they just have stills from the movie and add in word balloons. It's what I expected, anyway. But no! This is actually a real comic, with pictures drawn, inked and colored. Someone put effort into this thing, though not on the cover, as we see. The color is a still shot of the movie, and an inaccurate one at that. The robot with the coffee can head is Torg, and Torg never speaks in the movie. And just look at how cheap a robot it is, with a cardboard box for a body.
(Linkara is seen sitting with Pollo)
Linkara: I mean, honestly, who would make a robot out of cardboard boxes? (Pollo turns and looks at him) What?
Linkara (v/o): We open to two Martian children watching TV. Already, I see kind of a problem, because it looks like the comic book has better production values than the movie.
Narration: Something is the matter with the children on Mars. They are unhappy and depressed as they listlessly watch monitored television programs from Earth...
Linkara: (as a Martian kid) You think Dad is ever gonna spring for cable?
Narration: Kimar, the leader of the Martians, is very worried as he watches his two children, Bomar and Girmar...
Linkara: (as Kimar) The kids beg me for an Xbox, but do they ever play it? Of course not!
Linkara (v/o): Oh, yes, and the thing they're watching is an interview with Santa Claus. I'd just assume this was some publicity stunt from the news station, if not for the fact that I've seen the movie. Yes, they're seriously interviewing Santa Claus at the North Pole.
Andy Henderson: (interviewing Santa) Do you think you'll be ready by Christmas Eve?
Santa: We've never disappointed the kids yet!
Linkara: (as Santa) As opposed to the Watcher, who enjoys disappointing kids in favor of drug addicts! Ho, ho, ho!
Narration: Kimar presses a button on his belt panel and the television clicks off...
Linkara (v/o): Okay, there are three buttons on that belt. One of them is the power switch to the TV. Kimar tells the kids to go to bed, and he pushes another button, releasing sleep gases to get the kids to sleep.
Linkara: (announcer voice) The new Parenting Belt 5000! Not content with hitting your child with your belt? Well, now you can switch off the TV, put them to bed, and force food down their mouths! Only $59.95, plus shipping and handling.
Linkara (v/o): Kimar's wife returns home with new food pills.
Kimar's wife: Hamburgers, mashed potatoes, chocolate layer cake.
Linkara (v/o): I call it bullcrap. Uh, not in the "food as pills" thing, but how do they have hamburgers if they don't have cows on Mars? Kimar says that this depression problem is affecting children all over Mars. Dude, if kids zoning out in front of the TV is your idea of being depressed and sad, you're in for a very disappointing time as a father. His wife suggests that he and the Martian Council chiefs consult with Chochem, the Ancient One. He contacts the council chiefs by... Hey, that button wasn't on his belt before! What the hell?! Anyway, they get to the swamp and meet Chochem the Gray.
Kimar: We need your advice. Something is wrong with our children. They don't eat... don't sleep. Their only interesting is watching meaningless Earth programs on television.
Linkara: (as Kimar) I mean, reality shows about runway models? Why??
Chochem: It is early December on Earth... close to the time of the Christmas when the Earth children eagerly await the arrival of Santa Claus and his gifts.
Linkara: Well, the Christian Earth children anyway.
Kimar: But, Ancient One, what has this to do with our children?
Chochem: We have no children on Mars! Our electronic teaching machines are attached to their brains while they are in their cradles. Information is fed into their minds in a constant stream. By the time they can walk, they are adults. They have never had fun.
Linkara: Then why are they watching TV and asking for permission from adults to continue watching TV and they have a bedtime instituted by parents?
Chochem: The children must be allowed to be children again. They must learn what it means to have fun! We need a Santa Claus on Mars!
Linkara: (as Chochem) Yes, they must experience joy and fun only once a year! This will solve their crippling depression and love of television.
Linkara (v/o): Chochem vanishes off-panel, and Kimar resolves to bring Santa Claus to Mars. Of course, the obvious solution is just to make toys for your stupid kids, but I think those things on their heads kind of squeezed too hard on their brains. Anyway, our Martian brain trust sets off that night to Earth. One of them, Voldar, opposes the brilliant idea of bringing Santa to Mars.
Voldar: Our children are fine as they are! I don't want Santa Claus here, bringing them toys and games. They'll be playing, laughing and running underfoot. They'll become a nuisance!
Linkara (v/o): Yeah, Voldar is that grumpy old man who wants to find any semblance of joy in the world and smash it underfoot. The Martians scan the cities of Earth and find many people dressed up like Santa, back when people actually did that ringing the bell for charity before that apparently was offensive to people who didn't believe in Santa Claus. They detect radar beams bouncing off their ship, and they engage their radar shield, but discover that it's not functioning. And why isn't it? Why, it's because inside of the radar box is Dropo! Yes, Dropo, the annoying comic relief from the film. He starts to explain why the hell he was sleeping inside of the radar box.
Linkara: But I think the truth lies in the fact that the radar box somewhat resembles a coffin.
Linkara (v/o): They land their ship and discover two children, Billy and Betty.
Kimar: We are from Mars. Don't be afraid.
Linkara: Dude, with those things on your heads, I don't think fear is quite the reaction people will have.
Linkara (v/o): Billy explains to the weirdos who look like humans with green face paint, but the real Santa Claus is at his workshop. There's actually a changed premise here from the adaptation.
(Cut to a clip of the movie that Linkara describes)
Linkara (v/o): In the movie, Voldar insists that they take them along so they won't warn Earth's authorities... because we all know that the police and military take advice from ten-year-olds named Billy... and Kimar agrees.
(Back to the comic again)
Linkara (v/o): However, in the comic, Voldar insists, but Kimar says it's the choice of the kids, who quickly agree because they want to meet Santa. I don't get that. This isn't like it was fixing a mistake in the movie; this makes less sense. Anyway, they reach the North Pole, and Dropo is put in charge of the children while the rest prepare themselves to go out and take Santa, along with their robot Torg. Kimar says that no one is to be harmed.
Voldar: Bah! Nobody is to be harmed! What's happened to the great warriors of our planet? Mars used to be the planet of war! You will destroy us with your softness, Kimar!
Linkara: Voldar is the Patton of the Martians.
Linkara (v/o): The Martian commandos reach Santa's workshop and send in Torg to retrieve Santa.
Santa: Where did you come from? You're the biggest toy I've ever seen! Turn around!
Narrator: Obediently, Torg obeys...
Linkara: Redundantly, the caption was redundant.
Linkara (v/o): And remind me again why Torg is obeying him? Worst programmed killbot ever. The green commandos storm in and take Santa by force. The elves try to stop them, but naturally, magical elves are no match for the Martians' weapons.
(Cut to concurrent footage of this scene in the movie, in which the Martians use these weapons to freeze the elves in place)
Linkara (v/o): For those of you who've never seen the movie, the guns are actually a toy that Wham-O invented called an Air Blaster.
(Cut back to the comic, with the same thing happening)
Linkara (v/o): Naturally, it looks exactly the same in the comic, only now, instead of a shot of compressed air, it makes some sort of splat noise. Weird. Anyway, the elves are frozen by the toy, and Santa is taken away. On board the ship and on their way back to Mars, Santa tries to console the kids.
Santa: Now, I have a riddle. What's soft and round, and you put it on the end of a stick and toast it in the fire... and it's green?
Linkara: Mmm, nothing like cabbage s'mores.
Santa: A Martian marshmallow! Ho! Ho! Ho!
Linkara: Okay, it's a dumb joke, mildly amusing... except you screwed it up! "Martian-mallow," not "Martian marshmallow!" It's supposed to be a play on words!
Linkara (v/o): Voldar, overhearing, is worried that Santa's presence will turn his civilization weak and soft. So he plots to kill them all! He brings them on a tour of the ship and leads them into an airlock. After locking them inside, the three speculate on how they'll escape. Santa notices a pipe.
Santa: What did you say this pipe was?
Billy: The air duct. But it's too small for anyone to crawl through.
Linkara: (as Santa) Don't tell me what I can't do, you little pipsqueak! I'm freakin' Santa Claus!
Linkara (v/o): Up on the control deck, Kimar confronts Voldar about the airlock. Voldar admits to sending them to their doom, and a fight erupts.
Kimar: (punching Voldar) You fool!
(Cut to a flash of light in a movie of some sort – I don't know what it is, though)
Voice: Argh! You fool!
(Cut back to the comic)
Linkara (v/o): The fighting and the bout is dignified here as it was in the movie.
(The video alternates between the fight in the movie and the fight in the comic for a time)
Linkara (v/o): However, they're interrupted by Santa marching onto the bridge. Naturally, Santa escaped via the air duct because hey, he's freakin' Santa Claus; he goes through worse chimneys than that thing. How he got the kids out is more of a headscratcher, but we'll let it slide. When they reach Mars, Voldar has escaped from his cell. Kimar orders a constant guard on Santa and the children while they search for their little green fugitive. Meanwhile, Santa is brought to Kimar's children, and for some unknown reason, they decide to keep this scene from the movie: the disturbing laughing scene.
(A clip of said scene is shown: Santa laughing while the Martian kids look on, dumbfounded. The Earth children laugh, as well, and the Martian kids smile and then they laugh, too; cut back to Linkara, who is also laughing)
Linkara: (in between fits of laughter) We need an adult!
Linkara (v/o): The next day, Santa is shown his new workshop. You know, Santa is taking his kidnapping rather well, all things considered. Poor guy must have Stockholm Syndrome or something. Santa shows Dropo the spare suit that Kimar's wife had made for him, and Dropo tries it on, wanting to make himself look like Santa, too. He puts a pillow under the coat to fatten himself up, and then, in yet another bizarre plot hole they kept from the movie, Dropo puts on a fake beard. Did Kimar's wife make one of those, too? That evening, Voldar and two goons arrive at the workshop to sabotage it, but find Dropo dressed as Santa, mistaking him for the real deal. The people of Mars must have issues distinguishing colors because they can't tell that the Santa they're kidnapping is green! The next morning, Santa and the kids start running the toy-making machine, but much to their shock, the dolls and teddy bears have swapped heads!
Linkara: (as Santa) Get Todd McFarlane on the phone! I've got a great idea for a new line of figures! Ho ho ho ho ho...
Linkara (v/o): I'd also like to reiterate this: What the heck do they need Santa for again? They admitted that the entire process is automated and you just needed to push buttons for toys to come out. Do all Martians just have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and can't push buttons? Voldar shows up and confronts Kimar, saying that he'll going to kill the Santa in his possession if he and the children aren't sent back to Earth and the toy factory destroyed.
Kimar: But Voldar, are you sure you have Santa Claus?
Voldar: You know I have him.
Kimar: (noticing Santa, who is clearly not in Voldar's possession) Then who is that?
(A dramatic sting is heard)
Voldar: But I left him in my cave...under heavy guard!
Kimar: Maybe Santa has powers you don't know about!
Linkara: (as Kimar) Teleportation is only one of Santa Claus' many magnificent, godlike abilities!
Linkara (v/o): Voldar manages to disarm Kimar, but Billy overhears the two struggling. He warns Santa, and he and the children make a plan. A few minutes later, Voldar walks in, but (exaggeratedly) uh-oh, the kids have all their toys to throw at Voldar! (laughs) So, all that talk about how Martians were this great race of warriors, and we see firsthand that Voldar can't even face down four kids who are throwing toy airplanes and suction cup arrows at him. Maybe they were really a civilization of wusses and they made up the warrior thing to make themselves feel better about their loser status. Kimar recovers and orders them to stop, Voldar thoroughly defeated by the power of plastic and Nerf balls. Dropo shows up, too, having escaped off-panel from the cave he was being held in. Santa says that they don't need him since Dropo can be the Martian Santa. And so, our comic ends with the Martians saying farewell to the three.
Kimar: Goodby, Santa... Thank you for bringing happiness to our children.
Santa: I've left you in good hands. My substitute will carry on for me.
Dropo: Merry Christmas, everybody! Dropo Claus is here!'
Linkara: (as Santa, pretending to take out and hold out a card) Uh, here's my card. Call me in three months after he screws the pooch on the whole thing.
Narration: In a few minutes, the spaceship is on its way toward the planet Earth to deliver the children and Santa Claus... just in time for Christmas...
Linkara: (as Dragnet narrator) Billy and Betty went through several years of therapy when no one believed their story of the Martian kidnapping. Santa Claus was arraigned in Superior Court, County of Los Angeles on charges of child abduction and theft of the Martian robot Torg. In a moment, the results of that trial.
(Footage of the film is shown once again)
Linkara (v/o): This comic is stupid, and the movie it's adapted from is equally stupid. And of course, I love watching it. There's a lighthearted goofiness to it that I really enjoy. Sure, the production values are terrible, the story is ridiculous, and Santa does not in fact conquer the Martians, but I love John Call as Santa Claus. There's a real jolliness to the guy, and he really embraces the fun tone of the film.
(Cut to the MST3K gang watching the film, followed by the cast of Cinematic Titanic doing likewise)
Linkara (v/o): Of course, I do recommend recommend the MST3K or Cinematic Titanic versions if you're gonna watch it. Sure, they rip it apart, but if you can't laugh at a cheap-looking polar bear or a robot with a coffee can for a head, then you have no soul.
(Cut to Linkara sitting on the couch with Iron Liz, Pollo, Tom Servo and a BEAR!)
Linkara: And in the spirit of that film, we here at Atop the Fourth Wall just want to wish you and your own a happy holidays and a Merry Christmas, so let's end this with one of my favorite Christmas carols, "A Patrick Swayze Christmas".
(The credits roll to the MST3K gang singing "A Patrick Swayze Christmas", but they had been cut for copyright reasons)
(end)
Atop the Fourth Wall Transcripts
|
2008:
|
Spider-Man 56 · Doom's IV 2 · Batman 147 · The Top 15 WTF Moments in Comics · Titans 1 · Sinnamon 11 · US-1 1 · S.C.I. Spy 1 · Superman At Earth's End
|
2009:
|
Godzilla Vs. Barkley · Uncanny X-Men 423 · Uncanny X-Men 424 · Mr. T and the T-Force 1 · Star Trek comic 1 · Newmen 1 · NFL Superpro 1 · Neutro 1 · Amazons Attack Prologue · Amazons Attack 1 and 2 · Amazons Attack 3 and 4 · Amazons Attack 5 and 6 · Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes 1 · Top 15 Worst Heroes Becoming Villains · Daredevil 305 · Daredevil 306 · Blue Beetle Tribute · World of Warcraft 2 and 3 · Captain Planet and the Planeteers 3 · Wolverine: Adamantium Rage · Youngblood 1 · New Guardians 2 · The Marriage of Hercules and Xena · Secret Defenders 9 · Secret Defenders 10 · Superman vs Terminator 1 · Countdown Prologue · Countdown Part 1 · Countdown Part 2 · Top 15 Worst Moments of Countdown · Xena 1 · Cable 1 · Law and Order 1 · Batman: Fortunate Son · Air Raiders 1 · Nightcat 1 · Zero Patrol 1 · Blood Pack 1 · Mickey Mantle 2 · Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man 1 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 1 and 2 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 3 and 4 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 5 · Maximum Clonage · 22 Brides 1 · All-Star Batman and Robin 1 and 2 · Doom 1 · Spider-Man, Storm and Cage · Bimbos in Time · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 1 · Extreme Super Christmas Special 1 · James Bond, Jr. 3 · Top 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
|
2010:
|
Pitt 1 · Scarlett comic 1 · Future Five 1 · Ultimates 3 1 and 2 · Ultimates 3 3 and 4 · Ultimates 3 5 · Youngblood 2 · Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers 1 · Strange Adventures 136 · Doom's IV 1/2 · X-Men comic 1 · Darker Image 1 · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 2 · Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes 2 · Star Trek/X-Men 1 · Athena 1 · JLA - Act of God Part 1 · JLA - Act of God Part 2 · JLA - Act of God Part 3 · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Meet Archie · Lunatik 1 · Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos 1 · AT4W & Spoony: Experiment Warrior 2-3 · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 3 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Fit to Win · Anita Blake: The Laughing Corpse 1-2 · Freak Force 1 · Chain Gang War 1 · Ewoks 9 · Cable 2 · The California Raisins 3-D 2 · Hardcore Station 1 · The Others 1 and Brute Force 1 · Amazing Spider-Man: Skating on Thin Ice 1 · Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force · Action Comics 592 · Action Comics 593 · Top 15 Comics I'll Never Review · 100th Episode · Nolan Ryan 1 · Transformers comics 4-5 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 1 and 2 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 3 and 4 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 5 · Spider-Man: The Greatest Responsibility · Action Comics 1 · Amazing Fantasy 15 · Detective Comics 27 · The X-Men 1 · Brute Force 2 · New Kids on the Block 4 · Marvel Team Up 127 · Santa Claus Conquers the Martians · Top 15 Screw-Ups of Atop the Fourth Wall
|
2011:
|
Justice League: Cry for Justice 1-2 · Justice League: Cry for Justice 3-4 · Power Rangers Zeo 1 · Justice League: Cry for Justice 5-7 · Care Bears 13 · Superman: Distant Fires · Youngblood 3 · Doctor Who Classics 7 · Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four in... Brain Drain! · KISS Comics · Superman and Wonder Woman: Tandy Computer Whiz Kids · Spawn 1 · X-Force 1 · The Backstreet Project 1 · All-Star Batman and Robin 3 and 4 · Lady Gaga 1 · Star Trek: The Motion Picture 1-3 · The Godyssey 1 · Superman Meets the Quik Bunny · Ultimate Warrior's Workout · Ultimatum 1-2 · Ultimatum 3-4 · Ultimatum 5 · SCI-Spy 2 · Miller Time: Batman/Spawn · Gameboy 1 · Eminem and the Punisher 1 · Barbi Twin Adventures 1 · Rise of Arsenal 1-2 · Rise of Arsenal 3-4 · Comic Book Advertisements · Star Trek 2 (Gold Key) · PSA Hell: Captain America: Return of the Asthma Monster! · NBComics 1 · Mightily Murdered Power Ringers 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 1 · US-1 2 · Twilight Zone 9 · Superman and the TRS-80 Whiz Kids: The Computers that Saved Metropolis! · Street Fighter 1 (Malibu) · Silent Hill: Paint It Black · Silent Hill: Among the Damned · Silent Hill: The Grinning Man · Spider-Man: Planet of the Symbiotes · Pokémon - The Electric Tale of Pikachu · All-Star Comics 8 · The Fantastic Four 1 · All-American Comics 16 · Captain America Comics 1 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 1 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 2 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 3 · Top 15 Personal Favorite Jokes of AT4W
|
2012:
|
Marville 1 · Miller Time: Robocop vs. the Terminator 1 · Brute Force 3 · 15 Things That Are Wrong With Identity Crisis · New Guardians 1 · Gameboy 2 · Youngblood 4 · Star Trek III: The Search for Spock · Mr. T 1 (AP Comics) · Mr. T 2 · The Amazing Spider-Man and Captain America in Dr. Doom's Revenge! · The Invincible Four of Kung-Fu & Ninja 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 2 · Black Web 1 · Transformers: Generation 2 1 · Captain Tax Time 1 · Superman 701 · Bloodstrike 1 · Marville 2 · The Amazing Spider-Man on Bullying Prevention 1 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 1 · Daredevil vs Vapora 1 · Batman: A Word to the Wise · Marvel Team-Up 74 · Blake's 7 2 · Battle for Bludhaven 1-2 · Battle for Bludhaven 3-4 · Battle for Bludhaven 5-6 · Sir Charles Barkley and the Referee Murders · Captain Electron 1 · Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home · 200th Episode · Rock 'N Roll 31 · Future Shock 1 · Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham 1 · Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham 2 · Psychoman 1 · Marville 3 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Answer to a Riddle · Batman: Jazz 1 · Starstream 1 · The Thing From Another World 1 · The Thing From Another World 2 · Spider-Man: Power and Responsibility · Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror 2 · Flash Comics 1 · Tales of Suspense 39 · The Brave and the Bold 54 · The Incredible Hulk 1 · Superman's Christmas Adventure · Archie Giant Series Magazine 452 · Teen Titans 13: A Swingin' Christmas Carol · Batman: Noel · The Next 15 Screw-Ups of Atop the Fourth Wall
|
2013:
|
Kamandi at Earth's End 3 · Raver 1 · Transformers 31 · Happy Days 2 · All-Star Batman and Robin 5 · Youngblood 5 · Star Wars 3-D 1 · Marville #4 · Titans Retrospective: Team History · Titans Retrospective: JLA/Titans: The Technis Imperative · Titans Retrospective: Titans 1-25 · Titans Retrospective: Titans 26-50 · Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster · Power Pachyderms 1 · Star Trek V: The Final Frontier · Dragnet 4 · Wild Thing 1 · Spider-Man 2099 1 · Punisher 2099 1 · Doom 2099 1 · Ravage 2099 1 · Comic Book Quickies 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 4 · SCI-Spy 3 · Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 2 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 6 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: A Deadly Choice · Battlestar Galactica: Journey's End 1 · Marville 5 · Miller Time: Tales to Offend 1 · The Culling: Teen Titans Annual 1 · The Culling: Superboy 9 · The Culling: Legion Lost 9 · The Culling: Teen Titans 9 · Plan 9 From Outer Space: 30 Years Later 1 · Brute Force 4 · Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country · SCI-Spy 4 · The Thing From Another World: Climate of Fear 1-2 · The Thing From Another World: Climate of Fear 3-4 · Spider-Man: Crossfire · 2001: A Space Odyssey 1 · Showcase 4 · Tales to Astonish 27 · Showcase 22 · Journey into Mystery 83 · The Punisher: Silent Night 1 · Solson Christmas Special featuring Samurai Santa 1 · Star Trek: The Next Generation 2 · Doctor Who Classic Comics 15 · The Next 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
|
2014:
|
Marville 6-7 · Comic Book Quickies 2 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 7 · Preparedness 101: A Zombie Pandemic · Gameboy 3 · US-1 3 · Youngblood 6 · Star Trek: Generations · The A-Team 1 · The Wild 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 5 · Nova Girls: Kissing Canvas · Avengers 200 · SCI-Spy 5 · Red Hood and the Outlaws 1 · Athena 2 · Bill and Ted's Excellent Comic Book 1 · Zolastraya and the Bard 1 · PSA Hell: Superman: For the Animals 1 · Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos 2 · Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie 1 · Speed Steer 5 · Batman: Jazz 2 · 2001: A Space Odyssey 2 · Comic Book Quickies 3 · 300th Episode · 300th Episode: Part 2 · 300th Episode: Part 3 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 1 · Batman: Shadow of the Bat 56 · Sinnamon 1 · US-1 4 · The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly 1 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 8 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer That Said No to Drugs · Marvel Super Special 17 · SCI-Spy 6 · Kamandi at Earth's End 6 · Sonic Super Special 7 · Star Trek: First Contact · Cosmic Slam 1 · The Thing from Another World: Eternal Vows 1-2 · The Thing from Another World: Eternal Vows 3-4 · The Thing from Another World: Questionable Research · Spider-Man: The Trial of Peter Parker · Whiz Comics 2 · Tales to Astonish 44 · Detective Comics 38 · The Avengers 1 · The Hobbit 1 · The Hobbit 2 · The Hobbit 3 · Santa the Barbarian 1 · Top 15 Worst Comics I've Reviewed
|
2015:
|
Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 9 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 2 · Trouble 1 · Comic Book Quickies 4 · PSA Hell: Energy and Safety with the Justice League · Youngblood 7 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 1-40 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 41-75 · The Star Wars 1 · Batman: Jazz 3 · Mr. T and the T-Force 3 · Big Bang Presents 3: Protoplasman! · Crimson 1 · Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (RPG Game) · Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone · PSA Hell: Batman: Shadow of the Bat 57 · Comic Book Quickies 5 · Avengers Assemble Featuring Captain Citrus 1 · Doctor Who/Star Trek: The Next Generation: Assimilation Squared · My Cage · The Punisher 60 · The Punisher 61 & 62 · Steam Wars · Ultimate Power 1-2 · Homestuck, Act 1 · Atomic Robo, Vol. 3 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Superman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Batman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Wonder Woman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating The Flash · Zyuranger Episodes 17-22 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer Trap · Trouble 2 · Pokémon Reburst, Chapter 1 · Green Lantern 23.1 · Team Youngblood 1 · US-1 5 · The Star Wars 2 · Power Man and Iron Fist 79 · Nightmares on Elm Street 1-2 · Nightmares on Elm Street 3-4 · Nightmares on Elm Street 5-6 · Spider-Man: Virtual Mortality · More Fun Comics 73 · Daredevil 1 · Action Comics 252 · Tales of Suspense 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5 · Deadpool Bi-Annual 1 · Cho Dengeki Stryker · Zombies Christmas Carol 1-3 · Zombies Christmas Carol 4-5 · Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
|
2016:
|
NFL SuperPro Special Edition 1 · Popeye: Borned to the Sea 1 · OnStar Batman Auto Show Special Edition 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 3 · The Star Wars 3 · Youngblood 8 · All-Star Batman and Robin 10 · Pokémon Adventures Ch. 1-2 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episodes 1-5 · Blue-Skying, Part 1: Blue Beetle Dan Garrett · Blue-Skying, Part 2: Blue Beetle Ted Kord · Blue-Skying, Part 3: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes · Blue-Skying, Part 4: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes New 52 · Star Trek Special: Flesh and Stone · Blackest Night 1-8 · Dart 1 · Batman: Shadow of the Bat 58 · The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky · Ultimate Power 3 · Star Trek: The Next Generation 3 · Comic Book Quickies 6 · 400th Episode · 400th Episode: Part 2 · Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 1 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 2 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 3 · 15 Things Wrong With Marvel's Civil War · Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 1 · The Minister of Chance · US-1 6 · Star Trek: Voyager 1 · Unsounded, Chapter 1 · Biggles and the Menace from Space · Batman and Robin: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman and the TRS-80 Computer Whiz Kids: Victory by Computer · Star Trek/Green Lantern: The Spectrum War · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 27-28 · Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Ch. 1 · Pryde of the X-Men · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 1 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 3 · Spider-Man: Cyberwar · The Real Ghostbusters in Ghostbusters II 1-3 · Strange Tales 110 · More Fun Comics 73: Aquaman · Tales of Suspense 57 · All-Star Comics 3 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 2015 Holiday Special · Ghostbusters: Past, Present, and Future · Elvira's House of Mystery Special 1 · Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W
|
2017:
|
Digimon: Digital Monsters 1 · Phonogram: The Immaterial Girl 1-6 · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 · Trouble 3 · The Star Wars 4 · Spectacular Spider-Man Episode 1x10 - "Persona" · Youngblood 9 · The A-Team 2 · The Batman/Superman Movie: World's Finest · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 1 · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 2 · Reagan's Raiders 1 · Fist of the North Star, Ch. 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 4 · Iron Man: The Animated Series - The Wedding of Iron Man · Athena 3 · Batman: The Dark Knight 1-3 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 2 · Crisis on Infinite Earths · Secret Wars (1984) · The Infinity Gauntlet · Flashpoint · Babylon 5 1 · The Star Wars 5 · All-New Ghost Rider, Volume 2 · Robocop vs. the Terminator 2 · Superman vs. the Terminator 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: News By Computer Foils Kidnappers · Ultimate Power 4 · Delicious in Dungeon, Vol. 1 · Batman: Odyssey 1 · Asterix: The Legionary · Comic Book Quickies 7 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 1-4 (2012-2013 series) · Thunderbirds Are Go · Batman: The Official Movie Adaptation · Ultimate Iron Man Vol. 1 1-2 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 11-12 · Stormwatch 0 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Beginning 1-2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Fearbook · New Line Cinema's Tales of Horror 1 · The Sensational Spider-Man 0 · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash · Marvel Comics 1 · Brave and the Bold 28 · Kamen Rider Fourze Episodes 1-4 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Dark Holiday Special · Sensation Comics 14: The Story of Fir Balsam · Steam Wars Holiday Special · Christmas with the Superheroes 2
|
2018:
|
My Top 15 Favorite Episodes of AT4W · Legion of Superheroes: The Great Darkness Saga · James Bond, Jr. 1 · JLA/Avengers · Homestuck, Act 2 · Isaac Asimov's I-Bots 1 · Thunderstrike 1 · Youngblood 10 · Badrock 1A · Event Comics Month II: Infinite Crisis · Event Comics Month II: Infinity War · Event Comics Month II: World War Hulk · Event Comics Month II: Final Crisis · Power Rangers Turbo vs. Beetleborgs Metallix 1 · Diesel 1 · Teen Titans: "Betrayal" and "Aftershock, Parts 1 and 2" · The Punisher: Purgatory · Comic Book Quickies 8 · 500th Episode · Dark Knight III: The Master Race 1-2 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Green Lantern · The New Guardians 3 · US-1 7 · Nova Girls: Space 34-24-34 · Batman: Odyssey 2 · Star Wars 3-D 2 · Pokémon - The Electric Tale of Pikachu 3 · PSA Hell: Captain America Meets the Asthma Monster · Superman and Spider-Man · Amazing Cow Heroes 4: Cold Cuts · Ravage 2099 2 · Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Safeguarding the Environment · Mr. T and the T-Force 4 · Star Trek 2 (DC) · Star Trek (2009): The Official Motion Picture Adaptation · Star Trek: The Next Generation 4 · Star Trek 1 (Gold Key) · Silent Hill: Hunger · The Thing: The Northern Nightmare · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: The Nightmare Warriors · Spider-Man: Smoke and Mirrors · Hellraiser: Hell on Earth · Fantastic Four 52 · Marvel Comics 1 (The Human Torch) · The Incredible Hulk 181 · The New Mutants 98 · Batman Returns: The Official Comic Adaptation · The Punisher: Red X-Mas · Star Wars: The Force Awakens Comic Adaptation · Luke Cage, Hero for Hire 7
|
2019:
|
Yet Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 5 · Batman/Aliens 1 · Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel · Pokémon 15x19-20 "Cilan Takes Flight" and "An Amazing Aerial Battle" · Tomb Raider Vol. 3: Queen of Serpents · Little Victory: Chimera 1 · Youngblood 0 · Kickers, Inc. 1 · The Savage Dragon 1 · Darkwing Duck 1-4 · The California Raisins 3-D 5 · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 1-3 · Gallery of Horrors · Batman: The Dark Knight 16-17 · Tremors · Ultimate Power 5-6 · Batman Forever: The Official Comic Adaptation · Street Fighter: The Official Comic Adaptation · Catwoman: The Official Comic Adaptation · Dune: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Movie Special · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 1 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 2 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 3 · US-1 8 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Community Action Program · Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs · Comic Book Swimsuit Issues · Batman 45-47: The Gift · Star Trek: The Next Generation 5 · The A-Team 3 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 5-9 · Trouble 4 · Franken Fran, Ch. 1 and 4 · Youngblood: Judgment Day · Teen Titans 27-28 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser 1 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Summer Special · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Spring Slaughter · Spider-Man: The Exile Returns · Detective Comics 225 (Martian Manhunter) · Batman: Harley Quinn 1 · DC Comics Presents 26 · The Flash 123 · Evil Dead 2: A Merry Deadmite X-Mas · Transformers (UK) 145 · The All-New Batman: The Brave and the Bold 14 · Star Wars: The Last Jedi Comic Adaptation
|
2020:
|
Top 15 Dumbest Evil Plans of AT4W · Batman/Aliens 2 · Star vs. the Forces of Evil: Deep Trouble 1-4 · Megamind · Revolution · Superman vs. Muhammad Ali · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 4-6 · Youngblood: Strikefile 1 · Comic Book Quickies 9 · Black Panther, Vol. 4 1-6 · Batman: Odyssey 3 · Justice League/Mighty Morphin Power Rangers · The Champions, Vol. 3 1-4: Beat the Devil · Star Trek vs. Transformers · Athena 4 · Daredevil: Born Again · Action Comics 775 · Comic Book Quickies 10 · 600th Episode · Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Attack of the Clones Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Rogue One Comic Adaptation · DC Challenge! 1 · Kyoryu Sentai Zyurangers Episodes 40-43 · Trouble 5 · Dan Dare: Voyage to Venus · Superman 358 · Zero Hour: Crisis in Time · House of M · Secret Empire · Heroes in Crisis · Animax 1 · Ninjutsu 1-2 · Green Goblin 1-2, 4, 8, 12-13 · US-1 9 · Emergency! 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 5 · Pinhead 1-3 · Pinhead 4-6 · Pinhead vs. Marshal Law · Spider-Man: Web of Life · Marvel Super-Heroes 12 (Captain Marvel) · The Flash 110 · The Amazing Spider-Man 129 · Awesome Comics Holiday Special · Transformers (UK) 41 · Solo: A Star Wars Story Comic Adaptation
|
2021:
|
Yet Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W · Star Trek Book and Record Set: Dinosaur Planet · DC Challenge! 2 · The Mighty Heroes 1 · Justice League 1x01-3: Secret Origins · The Star Wars 6 · The King of Braves GaoGaiGar Ep. 1-4 · Youngblood: Strikefile 2 · Pokémon 15×01-02: "Enter Elesa, Electrifying Gym Leader" & "Dazzling the Nimbasa Gym" · Stanley and his Monster 1-4 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: The Transformers 1-40 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Transformers 41-80 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Generation 2 and Regeneration One · Star Trek 9 (Gold Key) · Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes · Mystery Science Theater 3000 1 · Batman: The Dark Knight Returns · Ultimate Power 7-8 · Batman: The Dark Knight 23.4 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Aquaman · Sword Interval: Flashback Arc · PSA Hell: The Amazing Spider-Man: Riot at Robotworld · Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Ultimate Edition) · Transformers/Ghostbusters: Ghosts of Cybertron · The New Guardians 4 · Codename: Ninja 1 · Batman: Hush · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Ep. 15-16 · Mr. T and the T-Force 6 · Doom’s IV 1 · Batman and Elmer Fudd & Catwoman and Sylvester and Tweety · Batman: Odyssey 4 · The Dresden Files: Storm Front, Vol. 1 · US-1 10 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 6 · DC Challenge! 3 · Marvel Super Special 1: KISS · The Ring, Vol. 1 · The Ring, Vol. 2 · Spider-Man: Web of Death · Detective Comics 359 · The X-Men 4 · Batman 1 · Spider-Man Holiday Special 1995 · The Adventures of Chrissie Claus 1 · Christmas Quickies 1 · Still Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
|
2022:
|
Ultimate Power 9 · The Adventures of Superboy 3x05-06 and 4x07-08 · Batman: The Killing Joke Adaptation · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating the JLA · Chew: Poyo Character Focus · Youngblood: Strikefile 3 · Doctor Who: Logopolis · Armageddon 2001 · Secret Invasion · Civil War II · Dark Nights: Metal · The Star Wars 7 · Sonic the Hedgehog: Tangle and Whisper · Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men: Planet X · Stargate SG-1: P.O.W. · Man of Steel · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 7 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episodes 17-21 · US-1 11 · X-Men Green · Spider-Man: Maximum Carnage · DC Challenge! 4 · Comic Book Quickies 11 · 700th Episode · Ken Penders' The Lost Ones 1 · Star Wars Infinities: A New Hope · Transformers: Deviations · Legion of Superheroes 0 and Legionnaires 0 · Mr. T and the T-Force 7 · The Ring, Vol. 3: Spiral · The Ring, Vol. 4: Birthday · Spider-Man: Funeral for an Octopus · Christmas Quickies 2 · Batman 27: A Christmas Peril · Mr. T and Emmanuel Lewis in A Christmas Dream · Top 15 Goofiest Superheroes of Atop the Fourth Wall
|
2023:
|
Star Wars: A New Hope Comic Adaptation · Marvelman Family's Finest 1 · Superman vs. Aliens 1 · Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney · Hellblazer: Dangerous Habits · Youngblood: Strikefile 4 · What Dreams May Come, Part 1: The Sandman 1-20 · What Dreams May Come, Part 2: The Sandman 21-40 · What Dreams May Come, Part 3: The Sandman 41-60 · What Dreams May Come, Part 4: The Sandman 61-75 · Animax 2 · The Dome: Ground Zero · Action Comics 1 (Non-Superman Stories) · Transformers (UK) 132-134 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Robin · Mr. T and the T-Force 8 · The Dresden Files: Storm Front, Vol. 2: Maelstrom · Captain Marvel: The Last Avenger · E-Robot, Ch. 1 · Overwatch: Legacy and Old Soldiers · Green Lantern: Emerald Twilight · Back to the Future: Who is Marty McFly? · Super Soldier 1 · Legends of the Dark Claw 1 · Spider-Boy 1 · Assassins 1 · DC Challenge! 5 · US-1 12 · The Star Wars 8 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 8 · The Ring, Vol 0: Birthday · Sadako at the End of the World · Spider-Man: The Mark of Kaine · Sadako-San and Sadako-Chan · Doctor Who: Remembrance of the Daleks · Doctor Who: The Klepton Parasites · Doctor Who: The Chimes of Midnight · Yu-Gi-Oh: Capsule Monsters Ep. 1-3 · Klaus 1-7
|
2024:
|
Still Another 15 Mistakes of AT4W · Batman vs. the Predator 1 · Ben 10 Ep. 1×01, 09, 13 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Ep. 14, 22-24 · Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back Comic Adaptation · Sonic/Mega Man: Worlds Collide, Act 1
|
Specials:
|
AT4W 2009 Trailer · Linkara's Take on Watchmen · Watchmen Review · Theme Song Contest · The Spoony Experiment: Warrior #1 · Theme Song Contest Winner! · Blackest Night · Silent Hill: Dying Inside Trailer · Silent Hill Alternate Endings · AT4W & Spoony: Experiment Warrior 2-3 · October 2010 Trailer · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive Review Alternate Endings · The Live Show! · AT4W Story Recap · October 2011 Trailer · Return of AT4W Live! · Revenge of the AT4W Live! · Southland Tales · Curse of AT4W Live · House of AT4W Live! · Ghost of AT4W LIVE! · October 2012 Trailers · Bride of AT4W Live! · Son of AT4W Live! · Night of AT4W Live! · Day of AT4W Live! · Dawn of AT4W Live! · Land of AT4W Live! · Diary and Survival of AT4W Live! · Power of AT4W Live! · Midnight of AT4W Live! · Planet of AT4W LIVE! · Genesis of AT4W LIVE! · 300th Episode Livestream Recordings · Destiny of AT4W LIVE! · Resurrection of AT4W LIVE! · Revelation of AT4W Live! · Remembrance of AT4W LIVE! · The New 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5
|