(The Disneycember logo is shown, followed by scenes from The Rescuers)
Doug (vo): Okay, I'll just get it out of the way: there's a picture of a naked woman in this movie. Disney is full of pervs. There, done. Now, let's talk about the movie. The Rescuers. Sort of along the same veins of The Aristocats or 101 Dalmatians, in that there's not much magic, not much stellar animation, and mostly just cutesy animals looking, well, cutesy. Though I don't think it's something as bad as The Aristocats and there is a little more story and character to it, nothing much really stands out about it.
Doug (vo): It centers around a little girl who's being held by this evil woman who wants her to go inside this mine and get this incredibly valuable diamond. Talk about child labor laws. Well, it turns out there's a big group of mice called the Rescue Aid Society that go in and try to help people in such circumstances. Definitely a creative idea, I guess, though I guess like most people in the movie, I wonder what the heck a bunch of mice can do in rescuing a bunch of people. But I guess that's the point of the film. There's no person too small, yada, yada, yada. So, two mice named Bernard and Miss Bianca go out to rescue her while also coming across a bunch of colorful characters.
Doug (vo): I guess I remember a few things that stood out, like some of the bad guys actually are entertaining. Like this crazy lady who's holding the girl looks like something out of a 1940's French bordello. A really bad 1940's French bordello. Her reactions a lot of the time are pretty fun to watch. She also has this blithering sidekick who once in a while gets a good line and she also has these two alligators that are probably one of the funniest things in the movie. Aside from that, it's just more cutesiness. The little girl is obnoxious. I can't stand her. She's like one of the Olsen twins, she's just designed to look pwecious.
Penny (acting as Madame Medusa): Brutus, Nero, did you let that little brat escape again? You're too soft!
Doug (vo): And most of the movie is just filled with other scenes that drag or are overly cutesy or don't really seem to have much point to them. I don't hate it, I just don't remember it doing very much for me. Even as a kid, I sort of remember being bored by it, again, with the exception of one or two comedic scenes. Not really a fan, I'd probably say there's much better Disney movies you can watch.
(Bernard and Miss Bianca are shown riding a bird through the snow)
Singer: Tomorrow is another day...
[Suddenly, the image of the naked lady mentioned earlier is shown again]
Doug (vo): And what was up with that naked lady?