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The Review Must Go On

NostalgiaCritic-TheReviewMustGoOn551

Date Aired:
January 22, 2013
Running Time
32:55
Website


After the main logo, we hear shuffling as the main titles appear. we cut to Donnie DuPree on a normal day at Demo Reel in the lounge making a cup of coffee. Note that his mug is shown with the letter D on it. Donnie goes out of the room for a brief second. He comes back to see the coffee mug is now a plastic cup containing a small portion of coffee in it. He is slightly confused as he enters the next room where Tacoma Narrows is.

Tacoma: So we doing this?

Donnie: Yeah. I just needed to get some coffee.

Tacoma: That's water.

Donnie: (looking into the cup) So it is.

Tacoma: Come on. Let's get started.

Cut to Donnie, Tacoma, and Rebecca Stone sitting at their table. Donnie looks like he has a lot on his mind.

Rebecca: This is gonna be so good.

Tacoma: It's perfect.

Rebecca: Wow, this is some of your best work. I think.

Tacoma: Thanks. Thanks but your input has really made it come full circle.

Rebecca: You know, what's a movie without rabid monkeys?

Tacoma: Exactly.

As they talk some more, Donnie is staring at his cup of water.

Rebecca: Nobody ever does that anymore. Ever.

Tacoma: Never. We've seen rabid raccoons and squirrels. Simians.

Rebecca: Donnie. What do you think?

Donnie isn't paying attention.

Rebecca: (mysteriously) Come back.

Donnie: Huh?

Rebecca: Earth to Donnie. Are you listening or not?

Donnie: I'm sorry. Uh, where were we?

Tacoma: Well, I'm thinking it's time we film something different. Something other than a remake.

Donnie: OK, I'm with ya.

Rebecca: How are you with Carmen Sandiego?

Donnie: A Carmen Sandiego movie?

Rebecca: Except we don't half-ass it like those other video game movies. We throw everything we can into it.

Tacoma: For example, it opens up with the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

Rebecca: Except Lincoln turns around and BLOWS John Wilkes Booth away.

Donnie: How is that possible?

Tacoma: Carmen Sandiego has stolen a time machine and she's going back through history settling all of history's greatest scores.

Rebecca: Killing Hitler, letting Crazy Horse win and then stealing all their shit.

Tacoma: So the police are not only trying to arrest her for thievery but they're also trying to award her the medal of honor.

Donnie: Cool. I like it. It makes her complex.

Tacoma: First thing's first. All our hopes rest on the Nostalgia Critic. People will love that.

Donnie: (suddenly concerned) What did you say?

Tacoma: I said all our hopes rest on nostalgia. Critics like that and the people will too.

Donnie: Hmm. Well, obviously we got our leading lady.

Tacoma: We do?

Donnie: Yeah. Rebecca.

Tacoma: (confused) Is she a friend of yours?

Donnie: (even more confused) And yours. (Tacoma still looks confused) Dude, what the hell's wrong with you? She's sitting right there...

He points towards his right to see that Rebecca has suddenly disappeared. He grabs his cup looking very freaked out.

Tacoma: Donnie. Are you OK?

Donnie: How many people work here?

Tacoma: Four. You, me, Quinn, and Carl.

Donnie: You never heard of a woman named Rebecca Stone who did a one-woman Titanic, beat a turkey to death, and wears a t-shirt that says "Malkovich Equals Balls."

Tacoma checks Donnie's cup before we cut to Donnie at the kitchen table having a drink placed in front of him.

Quinn: A cup of warm Irish milk. Just like me grandmother used to drink every night when she'd go to bed.

Donnie: This tastes like microwave Bailey's.

Quinn: There's more alcohol in that.

Donnie: (sighs) Could it be I possibly fabricated a person out of nowhere? It can't be. She seemed so real.

Tacoma: Nope. It's always been just you, me, and Carl.

Donnie: And Quinn.

Tacoma: Who?

Donnie: (slams his hand down) Qui...

He points his hand in Quinn's direction, but no one is there.

Tacoma: Is Quinn the refridgerator?

Donnie: (gets up) No, Quinn's not the refridge... (looks out the door) Quinn! Quinn! Who gave me this warm Bailey's?

Tacoma: That's not Bailey's. That's Yoo-Hoo.

Donnie spits it out. Cut to Tacoma at the computer with Donnie and Carl standing over him as Carl smokes a pipe.

Tacoma: I searched the whole internet. Public records. Everything. There is no Quinn.

Donnie: But Carl...

Tacoma: ...works alone.

Carl: So, are ve done wizz zis little interrogation or vhat?

Donnie: Yeah. Yeah, you can go. (As Carl leaves, Donnie grabs him back) No, wait. If you go out there, you could disappear like everyone else. I ... When did he grow the goatee? He didn't have a goatee. Everything's topsy-turvy now. It's an upside-down world.

Carl: Enough! Ze goatee was a bi-product of drinking so many sauer-kraught Schnapps last night. (Leaves) And it was delicious.

Donnie: I guess you were out drinking with Quinn then. I think I'm going to have myself committed.

Tacoma: Donnie. It's OK. I've already called an ambulance.

Donnie: Thanks. You're a good friend. I think.

Tacoma: We try. Tell you what. I'll stay with you until it arrives.

Donnie: Doesn't matter. You'll be gone with all the rest of them.

Tacoma: Donnie. I'm not going anywhere. (Donnie sighs) Donnie, listen. Let me tell you something.

Donnie: What?

Donnie turns to find Tacoma gone. He then finds his script on the table and finds all the pages saying nothing but "Come Back!" He slams it on the table and walks out to the living room area with the white board saying the same thing as ominous music begins to build.

Donnie: Carl.

He rushes out to the warehouse space of the studio and finds Carl in the adjacent hallway with his back turned.

Donnie: (relieved) Carl.

He walks towards Carl, but then stops. He notices something different about him. Carl turns around to reveal he now has a dinosaur's head.

Dinosaur Carl: Yeah?

Donnie is shocked as suddenly a bright light takes over Carl and appears before him. As Donnie looks with intrigue, we cut to... a script with some text that ends with "Donnie looks up and sees" with the cursor next it waiting for the next word (you know, that little blinking line).

We are now in the home of Doug Walker. He looks up at his computer looking at his new Demo Reel script. He then looks down at his hands as they tremble a bit before looking at his script again. He then sits back in his chair.

Title Card: The Review Must Go On.

Doug, lost in thought, looks at his unfinished script before putting his hands on the keyboard. He suddenly stops still stumped on what to write next. Suddenly, he hears a truck outside.

Doug: Ah shit.

He runs out his room and outside his house. He trips a little grabbing a garbage can and dragging it in front of his window to the curb. He then enters his room again taking off his coat and sitting at his computer.

Doug: Ah. Ok. Mmm.

He still has trouble with his script before sitting in his chair again. The doorbell is suddenly heard. In a quickly edited fashion, he answers the door, is handed a package, signs for it, closes the door, and sits down to open his package. He opens it to find a DVD copy of the Disney film The Odd Life of Timothy Green.

Doug: (on the phone) I ordered the original Odd Couple, not The Odd Life of Timothy Green. I don't even think it's the real movie. I think it's a pirated version. ... Well, that's all fine and good. What am supposed to do with this? ... Oh, I see. Plant it in the back and see if the real movie grows, huh? Screw you!

He hangs up, puts the DVD aside, and goes back to his script. He then eyes the DVD and reluctantly pops it into his DVD player.

Doug: I'm gonna regret this.

He sits on his bed and hits the remote as the movie's music is heard.

Title Card: One Movie Later...

He has a horrified look on his face as more whimsical music plays. He then hits the remote to turn it off. After a few seconds go by...

Doug: My god...

Cuts to him talking to himself about the movie in a series of jump cuts (similar to that of the Transformers review). During this scene Doug eventually sounds like The Nostalgia Critic.

Doug: Okay, so this is supposed to be a feel-good family film about a couple that plants a child in the backyard. No! First of all, before you grow your tomato child, didn't you think like...an orphanage! Hello! You could go to an orphanage! There's lots of children there. You could pick from them like a garden...except you don't have to grow them! Everybody should get a Jesus kid! That's what it is, a kid that popped up with no sex. Jesus Kid...or Anakin Skywalker-that's even better! How am I supposed to like these people? At all? They're all horrible! You're horrible people! (on the bed covering his face and moving his legs in motion) AWFUL! AWFUL! (now enraging on the bed just like the NC) People who made this movie should be studied! I-it-jus-They thought this is how people would act! This is how people would-It's not! It's not how anybody would act! They would donate that kid to science! (now calm) That was new. That was a new experience for me. You-*beat*-You got balls, Timothy Green. I don't know, maybe they're leaves but... ('chuckles a bit and thinks about what he just did') Oh wow, that was something.

He glances out in the hall and sees a shadowy figure just walk off screen. Doug goes out in the hall to find nobody there. 

We then cut to Linkara... or rather Lewis Lovhaug's apartment.  He is seen sitting on his sofa organizing pieces for his stuffed CyberMats when his cell phone rings.  He answers it.

Lewis: Hello!

Cut back to Doug.  He is sitting on his sofa on his cell as the conversation cuts back and forth between the two producers.

Doug: Hey Lewis.

Lewis:  Hey Doug, what's up?

Doug: I... um... I got a bit of a question for you.

Lewis: Shoot!

Doug: (inhales) Do you think I did the right thing ending the Nostalgia Critic?

The question catches Lewis by surprise.

Doug:  It's just... you ever think we left too early?  Like, there's more things we could have done with him? 

Lewis:  What do you mean?

Doug: (sighs) We stopped because we thought we were done, but... recently a lot of new ideas have been coming up in my head.

Lewis: Such as...?

Doug:  Well, for example, I just saw "The Odd Life of Timothy Green"...

Lewis: (appalled) Oh Doug. Why?

Doug:  It doesn't matter.

Lewis:  I think it does!

Doug:  (continuing) It was weird.  I felt the exact same way I did when we first started!  I mean, the excitement, the fresh ideas... (a beat)  I'm wondering if I made the right choice.

Lewis:  Well, I'm not sure I'm the guy that can answer that for ya.  Really, it boils down to you.

Doug: Yeah... But I made a choice, you know.  I... just felt that it was the right time to go.

Lewis:  Your fans didn't seem to think so.

Doug:  (sarcasticly) Oh!  Did they notice?  The ass-number of e-mails asking the Critic to come back didn't seem to tip me off!  I can't just do it for the fans though.  I gotta do it cause I want to do it.

Lewis:  Well, that's why it's your choice.  Bottom line, if you feel like there's potential and you can keep it going for a long time, bring him back.  But if you think you only have enough for once in a while, just keep it once in a while and go out on top.

Doug: (nodding his head) All right.  Thanks man.

Lewis:  Oh hey, Pollo and Harvey say hi too!

This sentence catches Doug.  Apparently, someone's been taking the 'Atop The Fourth Wall' storyline a bit TOO seriously.

Doug:  Lewwis?  Buudy?  Are you convinced that the characters from your show are real people?

Lewis laughs at the ridiculous notion.

Lewis:  Doug, of course not!  I'm not derranged.  It's just Pollo and Harvey that are real.

Well, semi-ridiculous anyway.  Lewis hangs up on the stunned-beyond-words guy with the glasses before he could say 'Combine Harvester'.  Lewis then turns and talks to someone just off-screen.

Lewis:  So, Pollo!  What are your thoughts on the subject?

Cut to Pollo who, outside of the show, is just a simple cardboard cutout doll.  Pollo says nothing, but Lewis carries on the conversation anyway as if Pollo had just opined on the situation.

Lewis:  (nodding) Yeah, and what's that?

Insert witty Pollo remark here.  Lewis bursts out laughing like a madman.

Lewis: (laughing) Oh man, that's a great one!

While Mr. Lovhaug continues to lose his mind without the help of the Wurzels, we cut back to Doug.  He is back at his computer, staring at the same 'Demo Reel' script page from before.  He is still stuck on the line 'Donnie looks up and sees...'  After staring at the screen for several long seconds, Doug navigates away from the script screen and into his video folder.  After clicking on a file, he begins to watch a full-screen version of the video.  Particularly, an old Nostalgia Critic review.

Nostalgia Critic:  (in the video) Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic!  I remember it so you don't have to.

Doug watches the video deep in thought.  He is watching the 'Doomsday Machine' DVD special review.  We see scenes from that movie play on the monitor as the Critic's review begins.   

Critic:  Oh, this is about as pretentious, sexist, and downright pointless movie you can ever see in the sci-fi genre. It's corny, it's weird, it's downright savage at times. Let's take a look at "Doomsday Machine."

As the review plays, Doug takes his eyes off the screen as he continues to ponder what he should do.

Critic: (seriously) So what are you waiting for?  Hmm?

This catches Doug's attention.  That line wasn't part of the review.  Or any review for that matter. Doug suddenly turns his eyes back to the screen.  The Nostalgia Critic is looking him straight in the eye from the monitor!

Critic:  You know it's just a matter of time.

Doug looks straight back at his retired character.  We go back and forth between the Critic and Doug.

Doug:  You're not real. You're just a fragment of my not very concernable imagination.

Critic:  Maybe. Or maybe it's like what you said before.

Doug:  And what did I say before?

Critic:  How a character can become so real that they cease being a character. They become ingraned in your mind, and you can't get rid of them no matter how hard you try. Even to the point where they take on a life of their own.

Doug:  No. You were the burried remains of some nostalgia that I have left behind.

Critic: (chuckles) Oh, isn't that cute? You're nostalgic for the Nostalgia Critic.

Doug:  I made a choice. I said that I'm not going back and I'm gonna do exactly that.

Critic:  Why? What's stopping you?

Doug:  What am I supposed to go back to anyway? Quoting memes and running jokes?

Critic:  It isn't always about memes and running jokes. It's about that passion for film and that love of making people laugh. And I know you still have a hunger for both.

Doug:  ... It ran its course.

Critic:  Listen to yourself! You got so sick and tired of it that you actualy forgot you enjoy it.

The Critic last statement strikes a nerve with Doug

Critic:  Remember?

The Critic snaps his fingers and we are treated to a quick montage of funny Nostalgia Critic moments.  We toggle back and forth between the montage and Doug, taking in the entire speil.

Critic:  Every single time you thought you were done with it you came up with something better. When you had time to think, time to focus, time to put that extra effort in. But you had anniversary movies, conventions, other shows, your own life to live.  All trying to write, act, and edit a 20 minute video every single week. Face it buddy, you weren't done yet. You just hit burnout.

Doug: I'm not going back.

Critic:  Yeah? (he leans in closer to his camera) Then why don't you just make me go away?

Doug quickly closes out of the Doomsday Machine Review and pulls up Facebook. Doug quickly does a sigh of relief before Critic crashes through the right side of the screen into Facebook

Critic (panting): See, I told you, you can't get rid of me!

Doug immediately cuts off Critic again by closing out Facebook and bringing up Google. Critic crashed through that as well. 

Critic (panting even more): It's gonna cost ya, Tinkerbell. 

Doug cuts off Critic once more and pulls up a Todd in the Shadows video, specifically the Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2012

Todd: I don't even get it. Why would a song have a lyric as stupid as- 

He is interrupted by Critic once more crashing into the video. Critic is even more out of breath than the last time and is looking extremely ruffled up

Critic: See? You can't make me disappear!

Todd: What the hell are you doing in my video? 

Critic: Oh, piss off Alfred Hitchcock. 

Todd: Get the hell out!

Critic: You get the hell out! 

Todd: I live here!

Critic: You know what?! Bite me Hamburglar! 

Critic closes out of the video cutting off the argument between Critic and Todd. This time, Critic does not show up again. Doug breathes a sigh of relief before turning around and looking at three posters on his wall. Specifically, the posters for The Final Battle, Kickassia, Suburban Knights, and To Boldly Flee. On each poster, it's focused in on The Nostalgia Critic as sad music plays.

Critic (on Google): Say, have you ever Googled 'do a barrel roll'? It's really cool! 

Doug: Okay, that's it. 

Doug leaves his computer area, gets in his car and goes to a drive through pharmacy and buys something. Cut to Lindsey Ellis, drinking a coffee as she gets a phone call

Lindsey: Hello? 

Doug: Lindsey? Lindsey? I need your help. 

Lindsey: Doug, are you chewing on something? 

Doug: Tranquilizers. I've taken enough to kill a baby rhinocerous. 

Lindsey (sarcastically): Well, that's a great way to start off a conversation. 

Doug: Look, you're a friend and I just need you to be straight forward with me on something. 

Lindsey: Okay, what? 

Doug: Should I bring back the Nostalgia Critic? 

Lindsey: What?

Doug: I mean I know it won’t be entirely impartial seeing how nostalgic movies are now your domain and everybody comes to you for them but I trust you on this and I want your honest opinion.

Lindsey: No.

Doug: No? Just like that?

Lindsey: Exactly. You made your choice and you should stick with it. The Critic had a great run but now it’s time to branch out and do new things. I mean, do you really want to do this for the rest of your life? 

Doug: Well, I don’t really think it would-

Lindsey (interrupting): Of course you don’t! So why don’t you just stick with the plan and do what you know is right?

Doug (sighs): Yeah, you’re right. I do want to try new things. Thanks a lot, Lindsey. I know a lot of people in your position would probably have an agenda but it’s good to know you always give it to me straight.

Lindsey: Anytime, Doug. Anytime.

She hangs up as ominous music builds. Nella is sitting beside her.

Lindsey: You know what to do.

Nella gets up and leaves the room. She goes outside, gets into her smart car and tries repeatedly to leave the parking space. Eventually, she succeeds and spots Rob on the sidewalk.

Nella (rolls down the window): Hey Doug!

Rob stops walking and looks at her.

Nella: Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking to you! You shouldn’t be the Nostalgia Critc anymore! You should go off and do those new things. Everybody loves them! Don’t believe the haters, man. Just don’t be doing Nostalgia Critic anymore. So there.

She drives off. Rob stands there looking confused and horrified. He takes out his iPhone. We cut back to Doug asleep at his dining table. The phone rings.

Doug (on the answering machine): Hey, it’s Doug! Leave a message at the beep.

BEEP.

Rob (on the phone): Hey, Doug, it’s Rob. Um, I’m never travelling to New York again.

He hangs up.

Critic (in Doug’s head): Bring me back, bring me back, bring me back, bring me back. You know it’s your destiny, you know it’s your destiny, bring me back.

Pee-Wee Herman: Ha ha! Yeah, bring him back! Bring him back!

Critic: Pee-Wee Herman? What are you doing here?

Pee-Wee: It’s a dream. Dreams are like that. C’mon! Let’s go ride Mark Wahlberg’s fake penis from Boogie Nights!

Critic: Boy, he’s gonna have some questions when he wakes up!

Doug wakes up and looks at the DVD case of The Odd Life of Timothy Green again. He gets an idea and pulls out his iPhone. We cut to Brad Jones’ apartment.

Brad (picks up the phone): Hello!

Doug: Hey Brad! I’m having a debate on whether or not to bring the Nostalgia Critic back.

Brad: Oh, well. Ha ha ha! I don’t care

He hangs up. Doug hangs up and looks around. He sees the Nostalgia Critc in his living room. Doug gets up and enters the hallway.

Doug: I’m not bringing him back, ya hear! I’ve got other ideas I want to try! New ideas! Stuff I’ve always wanted to do!

Hearing no reply, he goes into the bathroom and splashes water on his face. He opens the mirror and takes some mouth wash from the cabinet. He closes the mirror- and the Nostalgia Critic stares back at him, smirking.

Critic: Who’s to say you can’t do your other ideas?

Doug: I’m done talking to you.

He leaves the bathroom but the Critic’s image in the mirror remains.

Critic: The only one you’d have to give up is Demo Reel.

Doug stops walking and stands there listening to the Critic.

Critic: And we already know what that was this whole time. What Donnie was this whole time. You were even starting to write it. Once again, a character you love is hard to get away from. You dedicated so much time to our show. Making sure there was a new episode every week for over four and a half years! Maybe you didn’t need to stop altogether, maybe you just needed a break. A chance to take a little time off and come back fresh and new. Did that ever come into your mind? I’ll tell you what. If you answer this honestly, I’ll go away forever. Tell me, right now, without any hint of distrust: Do you want to do this again? Do you have that same passion you had before? That passion for comedy, film and reviewing? Do you honestly want me to come back?

Doug (looking down, quietly): Yes.

Critic (from offscreen): Then what are ya waiting for?

Doug looks up and walks cautiously into the dining room where the Nostalgia Critic is waiting for him.

Critic (indicating the other end of the table): We have work to do.

Doug sits opposite the Critic and stares him down.

Doug: Some ground rules.

Critic: Fair enough.

Doug: Reviews every two weeks.

Critic: TWO WEEKS?!

Doug; Maybe every other week I can do a mini-review or a film editorial but if we still want these jokes to still be fresh and funny, I need more time on them and that’s gonna be two weeks.

Critic (sighs): So be it. Rule two, no more cutoff dates. 

Doug: What? 

Critic: I want to review whatever I want whenever I want.

Doug: But you’re the Nostalgia Critic. It’s in your name.

Critic: I won’t review anything currently in theaters. And besides, if you’re seeing something after it came out in the cinema doesn’t that technically make it nostalgic?

Doug (sighs): Well, I guess horrible films aren’t restricted to just one time period. 

Critic (nodding): Very true.

Doug: One last condition.

Critic: Yeeesss?

Doug (picks up the Timothy Green DVD): This has to be the first review.

Critic: Why?

Doug: This is the movie that brought you back. That made me realize I could actually do this again. I feel like I owe it.

Critic: But nobody saw it! I don’t even know how many people remember it. 

Doug: Maybe it’s to show that even something that’s regarded as terrible or forgettable can still inspire something creative.

The music starts building again.

Critic: Done.

Doug: All right then. What’s next?

Critic: I think you know what’s next.

Doug looks up and sees that the Critic has gone. Doug goes back to his computer and looks at the unfinished Demo Reel script. He knows how to finish the sentence: “Donnie looks up and sees the Plot Hole.”

We cut back to the Demo Reel world as Donnie stares at the Plot Hole.

Doug (speaking through the Plot Hole): Hello Donnie.

Donnie: Wha…? Who are you? What are you?

Doug: I am the creator of a web series that takes a critical look at nostalgic movies.

Donnie: I… I don’t understand.

Tacoma steps out from behind him.

Tacoma: The person you are now is the direct result of a choice.

Donnie (confused): Tacoma?

Tacoma: A choice you made for the sake of the Plot.

Donnie (even more confused): Plot?

Rebecca steps out from behind Tacoma.

Rebecca: Yes. You sacrificed yourself to the Plot Hole, bringing order to chaos, logic to insanity.  But something went wrong.

Donnie: What?

Quinn steps out from behind Rebecca and Tacoma.

Quinn: Your mind couldn’t handle the paradox of your own martyrdom. It wouldn’t let you believe that you were capable of such a selfless act.

Donnie: Well then, what is this? Where am I?

Carl: It is ein- (He pushes past the others) Out of mein vay! A prison, a purgatory. Forged deep in ze depths of your own neuroses and made flesh by ze Plot Hole. Now at last you will know what it’s like to experience failure und see through the eyes of tortured child stars und vatch as all of your ambition crumbles into a mangy pile of heap. A lifetime of harsh criticisms atoned for at last.

Doug: And it’s for precisely these reasons that you need to come back.

Donnie: Come back! To what? I sound like a fucking maniac!

Doug: To some. But to others…

Donnie (intrigued): Who was I?

Donnie is shown a montage of clips from past NC reviews. He finally remembers.

Donnie: Oh… my… God. YOU SON OF A BITCH! Do you have any idea how much this shit scarred me? Do you have any idea the hell I had to go through here? I was a godawful filmmaker! I made movies that nobody liked! I tried telling everybody my good intentions but no one ever listened to me! I was a horrible child star actor! My mother was destroyed by the Hollywood system! This is the worst possible punishment that could ever be devised for me! SWEET JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST WITH DINNER, A SHOW AND A KISS GOODNIGHT!

Doug: Yes.

Donnie: AND?!

Doug: But perhaps now, you’re a little wiser. Everyone you criticize from this point on has a face. In every way, they are just like you. They work hard, they feel pain, they laugh, they cry. And when you mock them, you also mock yourself. You can still criticize all you want but deep down inside, you’ll always know what it’s like to be on the other side. And never truly forget.

Donnie: So now what? 

Doug: Now it’s time to go back… and review again.

Donnie: Wait! What about the Plot Hole? I mean, I was sent in to keep it stable and I couldn’t do it. Someone has to sacrifice their life to obsess over all the little mistakes of the world.

Doug: It’s all right. I found someone obsessed with mistakes and who had no life worth sacrificing.

We cut to Douchey McNitpick inside the Plot Hole overlooking the Earth.

Douchey: There’s a mistake! (He zaps it) There’s a mistake! (Zaps it) There’s a mistake! (Zaps it) Oh my God! This is the worst job ever!

We cut back to the Demo Reel world.

Doug: So, what are you waiting for, Critic? There’s a whole world to criticize. 

Donnie smiles and starts to move towards the Plot Hole. He stops and looks back at the others.

Donnie: But wait! What about them?

Doug: They belong to the Plot Hole now. As soon as you leave.

Donnie: But I’ve gotten to know ‘em and- 

Tacoma: Hey, don’t worry about us.

Rebecca: Yeah, we’ve gotten through tougher scrapes.

Quinn: Like killer turkeys.

Carl: Und Swedish terrorists.

Donnie: Sure? 

Tacoma: Yeah.

Rebecca: I think you learned your lesson.

Quinn: But if you ever need a reminder, you know where to find us.

Carl: Now walk through zat portal and face your destiny. Zat’s an order.

Donnie: Thanks, guys. 

He turns back to the Plot Hole and continues walking towards it. The others wave goodbye. Carl salutes and they all vanish. As Donnie exits the Plot Hole, Doug sits back in his chair and sighs. The Plot Hole fades from view and Donnie finds himself on the floor of a small room with a table, a chair and a camera. He realizes he’s back in the Nostalgia Critic’s world. He picks up a black hat as the theme to “The Review Must Go On” from the Moulin Rouge! review starts to play. He looks at the door and sees a black coat and red tie over a white t shirt hanging on it.  With a smirk, Donnie takes off the wide-brimmed hat, and puts on the coat, tie and shirt. He then sits down at the table and faces the camera. Donnie DuPree is no more. The Nostalgia Critic is back, bitches. We cut back to Lindsey’s apartment as Nella returns.

Nella (sitting down next to Lindsey): The deed is done.

But Lindsey is watching something on her iPhone. She shows it to Nella.

Critic: Hello. I’m the Nostalgia Critic and I’m back to remember it so you don’t have to.

Nella: Oh, you meant for me to… oh (laughs nervously) That’s really funny. I’m gonna be somewhere that’s not gonna- 

She runs away as Lindsey takes a long sip of whiskey and collapses onto her couch.

TITLE CARD: OFFICIAL RETURN FEB 5 WITH THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN

The credits roll and we cut back to Lewis’ apartment.

Lewis: Pollo! That was a very off-color joke you said! Don’t you agree, Cybermats?

The Cybermats say nothing.

Astro-Megaship (in Lewis’ voice): Well, I think that-

Lewis: Nobody cares what you think, Astro-Megaship!

After the Channel Awesome logo, there is one final scene with Brad.

Brad: Nostalgia Critic? Who the fuck is that? When are you gonna bring back Melvin

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