Thumbelina
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Released
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April 25th, 2009
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Running time
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15:38
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Previous review
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Thanks for the Feedback: Episode 1
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Next Review
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The Babysitters Club
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Link
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Nostalgia Chick: Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick and- (looks at an imaginary watch) Oh! Is it Don Bluth time again already?
NCh (voiceover): I'd like to propose a theory. (A chart showing the quality of Disney movies and Don Bluth films is shown.) The profitability and quality of any given Don Bluth movie, is an inverse proportion to how well the Disney company is doing. This includes Pixar.
NCh: Think about it...
NCh (vo): ...Don Bluth peaked pretty early. His first feature, The Secret of NIMH, is not only widely considered his opus, but came out in 1982, when the Disney animation Studio was in the pits.
NCh: They were making nothing. So not only was Don Bluth in the bank, he actually got to make movies that didn't suck. There were even some of them...good. So what happened?
(Footage from The Little Mermaid is shown as music from Young Frankenstein plays in the background.)
NCh: Oh... Mermaid.
NCh (vo): I'm gonna get on a small pedestal and say my piece. It was not The Little Mermaid that caused the Disney Renaissance. Not really. That Honor belongs to Who Framed Roger Rabbit. The Little Mermaid just put that godforsaken Disney musical 90s formula in place.
NCh: So, what does this have to do with Don Bluth?
NCh (vo): "And hey," you say, "that proof isn't totally true." After all, Anastasia made money, right? Not, as much as a Disney movie, but it did make money.
NCh: Yes, but, let's be real here. This was Don Bluth throwing in the towel. This was him saying, "All right, Disney, you win...
NCh (vo): ...With your princesses and your musicals and your coming-of-age stories with sweeping, snarky romances. You win." If you can't beat them, join them. Copy the Disney formula and marketing strategy and you will make money.
NCh: And they did. But by god, Anastasia weren't the first time he tried. There's a teeny tiny little tweed little blip on his radar a few years before, with much more unfortunate results.
Opening for Thumbelina plays
NCh (vo): There it is: Thumbelina, that saucy little whore.
Thumbelina: That's me!
NCh: And in a lot of ways, this one is a much more blatant Disney ripoff than Anastasia.
NCh (vo): What was the first big success of the so-called renaissance? Based on a Hans Christian Anderson story so lets do a Hans Christian Anderson story. About I don't know, wanting to be something your not. And lets make her a redhead. They even had the balls to use the same voice actress as the titular character.
Ursula: Your voice!
Ariel: My voice?
Thumbelina: My voice!
Beatle: Don't talk. Sing! Editor's note: you can edit the transcript here.
Nostalgia Chick Transcripts | |
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2008: | Pocahontas · Teen Witch · Anastasia · She-Ra: Princess of Power · Hocus Pocus (NCh) · Top 11 Nostalgic Villainesses · Spice World · Top 10 Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs |
2009: | Labyrinth · Thanks for the Feedback: Date with Doug · Thumbelina · Babysitters Club · Spooning with Spoony · Top 11 Embarrassing Nostalgic Dance Crazes · Xanadu · Transformers (NCh) · Armageddon · Bratz · Mulan (NCh) · The Last Unicorn · Earth Girls Are Easy · Disney Princess · Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas (NCh) |
2010: | Dragonheart · The Smurfette Principle · Titanic · My Little Pony · Nella’s (mostly) Unabridged My Little Pony Epic · Showgirls · Blonde Girls Then and Now · An Enchanted Cinder(n)ella Ever After · Grease · Linking Up with Linkara · Lindsay Talks Dune · Thanks for the Feedback: My BFF Nella · Hercules (NCh) · Playing God · Man in the Iron Mask · Dreamworks vs. Disney: Rise of the Eyebrow · Dreamworks vs. Disney: Dualing |
2011: | Thanks for the Feedback: We, Fit · The Fifth Element (NCh) · Kirk vs. Picard · X-Men: The Animated Series (NCh) · Top Ten Evil Nostalgic Characters · Disaster Movies of Roland Emmerich · The Craft · Tron (NCh) · Newsies (NCh) · Les Misérables: The Musical · Jem and the Holograms (NCh) · The Little Mermaid (NCh) · Grease 2 · TLC and the '90s · Top Ten Songs About Sex (from Musicals) · She’s All That · Chick Flicks! Sleepless in Seattle vs. When Harry Met Sally · You've Got Mail · City of Angels · Kate and Leopold · Cruel Intentions · The Lion King (in 3D!) · The Worst Witch · Crossroads · Top Ten Disney Deaths · A Very N'Sync Christmas · The Christmas Shoes · Daria · Top Ten Worst Disney Sequels |
2012: | Top Five LEAST Awful Disney Sequels · What Women Want · Top Ten Hottest Animated Guys · Song of the South · The Adventures of Milo and Otis · The Lorax (NCh) · Sister Act · Baby Whatever - Nostalgic Baby Dolls · Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies (of Shame) · Chipmunk Adventure · Freddy Got Fingered · Men in Black · Wild Wild West · Will Smith Was a Rapper, Once... · The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air · Top Boy Bands from the 90's · Lindsay’s Top Eleven Favorite Movies of All Time! (this week) · All Dogs Go to Heaven · Ender’s Game · Supergirl · Cool Runnings (NCh) · The Worst (and Least Awful) Female Superhero Movies · Charlie’s Angels · Cutthroat Island · Top Ten Viral Videos from the Ancient Internet (before YouTube) · Reality Bites · Matilda · Sleepy Hollow · Not Another Breaking Dawn Review |
2013: | The Fellowship of the Ring · The Two Towers · The Return of the King · Return to Me · Lindsay’s Top Ten Favorite Movies of 2012 · Disney Needs More Gay · The Host (2013) · Top Ten Music Videos of the 90′s · The Addams Family · The Mortal Instruments and Young Adult Adaptations · Addams Family Values |
2014: | Top Ten Somewhat Arbitrarily Ranked Worst Movies of 2013 · Top Ten(ish) Favorite Movies of 2013 · Dante's Peak vs. Volcano · Nostalgic Foods of Yore feat. Mara Wilson · Divergent and the Young Adult Movies of 2013 · The Day After Tomorrow · Independence Day vs. War of the Worlds Part 1 · Independence Day vs. War of the Worlds Part 2 · True Lies |
Shorts! | The Goddess of Spring · Betty Boop in Minnie the Moocher · Der Fuehrer’s Face · Red Hot Riding Hood · Coal Black and De Sebben Dwarfs |
Loose Canon | Starscream · Hades, Lord of the Underworld · The Wicked Witch of the West · Captain America (Loose Canon) · Mad Max · Death · King Kong · Nightcrawler · The Jedi · The Jacks of King Kong · Oscar Bait: A History · Phantom of the Opera: Part 1 - Before Broadway · Phantom of the Opera: Part 2 - After Lord Andy · Queen Elizabeth I · Superhero vs. Superhero: A History · Aphrodite · X-Men Dying (And Un-Dying) · Marilyn Monroe · 9/11 · Mystique · Hillary Clinton · Jack the Ripper · Santa Claus |
Lindsay Ellis | Joel Schumacher's Phantom of the Opera · Hercules, Disney's Beautiful Hot Mess · How Three-Act Screenplays Work (and why it matters) · Designing the Other: Aliens on Film · RENT - Look Pretty and Do As Little as Possible · Planting and Payoff - Featuring Mad Max: Fury Road · Are Disney Villains Going Extinct? · Is Beauty and the Beast About Stockholm Syndrome? · Mel Brooks and The Producers' Use of Satire · Why Pocahontas was a Mistake · The Complex Feels of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 · Disney's Revisionist History · The Case for Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame · POTC: Dead Genres Tell No Tales · Stranger Things, IT and the Upside Down of Nostalgia · Dear Stephenie Meyer · Bright: The Apotheosis of Lazy Worldbuilding · My Monster Boyfriend · The Hobbit: An Unexpected Autopsy (1/2) · The Hobbit: Battle of Five Studios (2/2) · The Hobbit: The Desolation of Warners (3/2) · The Ideology of the First Order · That Time Disney Remade Beauty and the Beast · The Death of the Hollywood Movie Musical · YouTube: Manufacturing Authenticity for Fun & Profit! · Product Placement & Fair Use · Death of The Author · Independence Day vs. War of the Worlds · How Aladdin Changed Animation (by Screwing Over Robin Williams) · We Need to Talk About Game of Thrones I Guess · The Last of the Game of Thrones Hot Takes · Woke Disney · How to Get a Book Deal Ten Years or Less · The Most Whitewashed Character Ever · Why is Cats? · Protest Music of the Bush Era · Is Titanic Good, Actually? · Death of the Author 2: Rowling Boogaloo · Into The Omegaverse: How a Fanfic Trope Landed in Federal Court · Addison Cain's lawyer e-mailed me, and it only got worse from there · Why Borat Works Better in 2020 · Tracing the Roots of Pop Culture Transphobia · Mask Off · Reevaluating The Little Mermaid before Disney horks up another live action remake · 9 things I wish I knew before publishing my first novel · Narcissism in the MCU · Love Never Dies: A Magnificent Musical Trashfire Sequel to Phantom of the Opera |
The Whole Plate | Transformers and Film Studies · Auteur Theory vs. Michael Bay · Why is it So Hard to Remember What Happens in Transformers? · Genre · The Lady Robot Problem: Feminist Theory Part 1 · The Male Gaze vs. The Men: Feminist Theory Part 2 · Framing Megan Fox: Feminist Theory Part 3 · Queering Michael Bay · Marxism! |