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Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. Well, the end of the year is approaching, so it's a time for relfection on the things we've done. While it's true that I am the most handsome, most magnificent person alive, I sometimes screw things up.
(Cut to Douchy McNitpick via transmission)
Douchy: Hold it right there, you plagiarist!
Linkara:(unsurprised) Ooooh... You.
Douchy: That's right. The Nostalgia Critic already did this kind of video. YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THE SAME KIND OF VIDEO!!
Linkara: Then, logically, by appearing in my video, you are voluntarily contributing to this allegedly ripping off.
Douchy:(As he's about to defend himself, he thinks about Linkara's comeback) BAH! Logic means nothing to me!!
Linkara: Anyway, the point is that this is the Top 15 Screw-Ups of Atop the Fourth Wall
Douchy: That's FUCK-ups!! How come you never swear? You look so immature when you never swear.
Linkara: So, by swearing, I'd appear as mature as you do, huh?
Douchy: I... wait... (incoherently mumbles, trying to think about the logic behind his argument)
Linkara (v/o): Number 15: "How come you can't say 'room' or 'roof' correctly?"
(Cut to a montage of comments made by people who have seen Linkara's videos and pointed out mispronunciations of words he said (i.e., "fox" vs. "foe", "rum" vs. "room"))
Linkara (v/o): This one will cover all my general mispronunciations or mispronounciations or however you pronounce it. For example, on one or two occasions, I said "fox" instead of "foe". Another time, I said "ana-THEE-ma" instead of "an-AH-thema"*. Really, it comes down to the fact that they're words that I don't use very often, and I don't see many other people use, either. As such, I don't know how to pronounce when I end up actually needing to speak them. Usually, people are very helpful and will point out when I've screwed up and later I say them correctly. Buuut the most common ones that crop up are when people say I'm saying "room" as "rum", or "roof" as "ruff".
NOTE: "Anathema" can be pronounced either way, according to Merriam-Webster.
Linkara:(angrily) You know, maybe I'm not the problem! (points to camera) Maybe it's all of you who are saying it incorrectly!
(Cut to another comment, this one made by Malaloba who admitted to adopting Linkara's way of saying "room", but admitting that it's part of his Minnesotan accent)
Linkara (v/o): Nah, that's just stupid; it's all me. The fact of the matter is that I have an accent. It's not that noticeable, but it is there.
(Cut to a shot of an audio guide to speaking Minnesotan, from A Prairie Home Companion)
Linkara (v/o): I'm a Minnesotan; I'm a Midwesterner. (exaggerates his accent) I may not talk like this all the time or how ding-dang cold it gets up here or how Wally and Norma went up to Dubuque to go fishing...
(Cut to a shot of a man standing next to a sign reading "Uff Da Hill Road")
Linkara (v/o):(normal) ...but there are traces here and there, particularly when I say "room" ("rum") or "roof" ("ruff"). It's just the way it is, and it isn't going to change unless I spend every day saying (exaggeratedly) "roooooom" and "rooooof".
Linkara (v/o): Number 12: "The Transformers comics DID break the Top 10 lists!"
(Cut to shots of the Transformers comics in question)
Linkara (v/o): Yeah, I don't know how I screwed this one up, but I did. During my review of Dreamwaves' "Transformers #4 and 5", I stated that the comics, while popular, never broke the top ten lists in sales. It turns out the sales charts I'd been reading were from 2004, and covering reprints and whatnot, when I should have been looking at the sales from 2002. In fact, Transformers comics held the number-one spot in sales from April through September of 2002. And even after that was over with, other Dreamwave Transformers comics were within the top 20 for a few months following that. Hell, even the issues I reviewed held the number-two and number-one spot for their respective months, and the only reason that #4 wasn't in the number-one spot was because another Transformers comic held that spot. It's also kind of head-scratching that this is the case. Consider that these were the books where Pat Lee couldn't even draw the correct number of wheels on Optimus Prime's truck mode. Let's not even get into the fact that the windows on Optimus' chest don't look like a truck. And yet, they were beating out books like "The Ultimates", three "X-Men" series, and "Ultimate Spider-Man". Yeah, Marvel held every other spot, except number ten in April 2010, which was an issue of Image Comics' "G.I. Joe" series, another '80s franchise. Well, Dreamwave and Pat Lee may have been some of the scummiest, non-paying, crappy things ever to happen in the comic industry, but you can't argue with those results, and I screwed up in giving credit where credit is due.
Linkara (v/o): Number 9: "What happened to the Shadow comic that you were going to review?"
(Cut to shots of various comics of "The Shadow")
Linkara (v/o): I am a fan of the old radio dramas featuring the pulp hero known as The Shadow, a detective who, through advanced hypnotism, could become invisible. In addition to the original stories where he originally was created, there have also been several Shadow comics. In my 2010 trailer, I used the opening line from the radio dramas: "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!", the implication being that I was going to review one of the Shadow comics... and I was. However, the comics at my disposal when I looked at them... eh, they didn't seem all that bad, and I didn't have a lot to work with. Mind you, one of these stories involved the Shadow with a massive cyborg body, but since it was so late in the run, I wasn't sure what the hell caused the radical shift in the premise of the character. As a result, I didn't want to do injustice to the comics, since it's entirely possible that there's a good, well-written explanation for all of this. So I didn't want to piss off Shadow fans by not doing proper research. I kept pushing back the review until... well, October was "Silent Hill" and the Clone Saga, November was "Secret Origins" month, and the last few weeks have been Christmas comics. I do hope to finally do a review of a comic about the Shadow in 2011, but for now, all I have to say is, I'm sorry for not getting to it this year. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? No idea, but only the Shadow knows where the hell my review is.
Linkara (v/o): Number 6: "Having only one shoulder pad DOES make sense!"
(Cut to a montage of comic book characters, in the 1990s, wearing only one shoulder pad rather than two)
Linkara (v/o): I've said it repeatedly when it comes to '90s style artwork: having a single shoulder pad on armor looks stupid and more like it was meant to be EXTREEEEEEEME than it was to make any sort of sense. However, the more combat-oriented among you have pointed out that actually one shoulder pad makes perfect sense, particularly when it comes to battles involving one-handed swords. The idea is that when facing your opponent, the body will naturally turn to the side where the sword is so it will be closer to the opponent. Thus, it requires more protection. Armor is heavy and can get in the way of a fight, so the less that you have to wear, the better. It is the position of the show that even if something looks stupid, if there is an actual, logical point to it, then it's acceptable. After all, we deal in superhero comics with frequently audacious and silly-looking outfits, some with sillier appearances than others. However, I maintain that the appearances of many of the ones I've critiqued still make no sense.
(Cut to a shot of a comic book superheroine from the "Law and Order" comic, wearing one shoulder pad, but holding two guns instead of one)
Linkara (v/o): If it's a single weapon and they're holding it as described, then fine, I can accept that. However, frequently, those same '90s style characters were wielding more than one weapon or wear so little actual armor that just having the shoulder pad doesn't make any sense. Form follows function, but it certainly doesn't apply to "Law and Order" here.
Linkara (v/o): The last three on our list is for the comments that tons and tons of people kept commenting about, and this is the first. In my review of the first part of "The Dark Knight Strikes Again", I criticized Miller's so-called satire of "news in the nude", a segment that featured the newscasters, well, nude. I called it out as the bullcrap that it is, that a mainstream news media would never stoop to that kind of nonsense, not only because it's pointless, both storywise and in logic, but also because the FCC, or whatever equivalent organization exists in any given country, would never let such a thing pass – except for the fact that apparently there is a real website called...
(Cut to a shot of the website in question...)
Linkara (v/o): ..."Naked News", which features the newswomen casually taking off their clothes as they read off the news.
(Cut back to the "news in the nude" part of the Dark Knight comic)
Linkara (v/o): There is also apparently a TV version of the website, but it primarily airs on Canadian TV very late at night, partially because the company is based in Canada and can get away with topless interviews – on the street, in fact, thanks to Ontario laws, though I am getting that from Wikipedia. So, okay, yeah, I was wrong and this exists – sort of. After all, it's still not the regular news, and back when people were talking about this, I actually...
(Cut to an image of a man standing next to a box of tissues, accompanied by a message: "PORN! The Internet is for it!")
Linkara (v/o): ...went to their website and watched one of their videos to verify the claim about it.
Linkara: Yes, my research forced me to watch a woman taking off her clothes. Truly, I have the worst job in the universe. (nods)
(Cut back to the "news in the nude" part of the comic)
Linkara (v/o): Kidding aside, what's the point? It's not like they're performing a striptease or doing pornographic acts. They're just taking off their clothes while reading the news. In an environment where hardcore porn is readily available on the Internet, what's the appeal?
Linkara:(taking off his jacket) In the weather today, a cold front at the upper areas of Minnesota, but then again, who should be surprised by that? It's Minnesota. We only have two seasons up here: winter and road construction. (starts taking off his shirt) In the world of sports–